Do your children share a bedroom?

Kimberly - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 241 moms have responded )

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We live in a 3 bedroom home and my 2 year old son and 5 year old son both have their own bedrooms. We are talking about having another child, which means that our 2 & 5 year old would have to share a room. My husband thinks that if they need to share a room, they will be fighting and arguing over stuff all the time. The boys do get along, but do fight like typical brothers would.

Just wondering how many people have siblings share a room and how your experience with it is.

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Patricia - posted on 01/17/2011

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It will grow on them that they are sharing a room. The biggest problem may comes from cleaning up the room. So what i did was slip the room down the middle. One side was decorated they way my baby wanyed it and the other side as well. This might work for you!!!

Joanne - posted on 01/17/2011

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Hello, i have got two girls who had there own bedrooms when they were younger and bedtime was a breeze until i had my little boy and they had to share a room - they fight constantly and nightime is a nightmare. I have tried putting them down together with a story, hot milk, baths etc.. i have tried putting my youngest down first but when my oldest goes up she makes so much noise to wake her up because she doesnt want to go to bed. Every night is a complete battle with them both! Were in talks of getting a loft conversion or putting my youngest in with baby so the oldest who seems to be the problem can have her own room. They are both as bad as each other really - they fight like cat and dog and they are 5 and 3 years!

Lisa - posted on 01/17/2011

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My boys are 11 & 12 and they share a room. It's easier for us this way. Yes, they have their fights but for the majority of the time...they are cool with it.

Kerri - posted on 01/17/2011

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i have 3 kids and currently live in a 3bdrm aswell and 2 of my kids share a room but the only problem i have with that is bed time! they are usually playing or talking for a hour or more past their bed time other than that its great and they never feel the need to be scared cause they are never alone!!

Yvette - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 4 children and my two oldest share a room and my two youngest share a room. It has worked beautifully. It started when my two youngest wanted to sleep together as little girls ages 3 and 4. Eventually I just moved them into the same room and purchased bunk beds. My two youngest have been sharing a room since my youngest was 6 weeks old. They all get along fine and with two going into teen years I am very blessed.

Cat - posted on 01/17/2011

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My boys are 2 and 4 and they have shared a room for the last 5 months. We have the plenty of rooms in our house for them to have their own, but my husband and I wanted them to bond more. I have noticed a drastic change in their relatioship already. Playing more with one another, sharing more willingly, over all it has been so great for them. Of course there are nights that they want to keep playing and not go to sleep, but we are happy with having them share. Hope this helps.

[deleted account]

I have 2 boys ages 6 and 4, who have shared a room since the 4 year old was 4 months old. Yes, they do argue about space and their belongings all the time but I think that this teaches a few things that come in handy in the real world. They learn to share; they learn about boundaries and personal space; and they learn how to negotiate. My 6 and 4 year olds have an agreement that certain special toys and games are off limits; they both have to clean up messes in the room; and if the mess is under or on your bed you are responsible. They negotiate who uses the computer in their room and for how long and a great many other things. They know to respect personal property to the point where if they have a playdate they point out to their friends the item(s) that are off limits. Yes, there are time where they cross boundaries, and don't share and fail to come up with compromises but that is where I come in to redirect them and guide them into finding solutions.

I think that my boys are close because of the bond they share in sharing a room. I love to listen in on their bedtime conversations about adventures they had during the day (different than I am told about;), and things they plan on doing.

My boys are average 4 and 6 year olds. They fight and love each other like any other pair of brothers. I am sure your boys will be fine sharing a room. Good luck. It might help if you do a few weeks of transitions with the two of them doing sleepovers in the designated room. Then gradually move them in.

Sharon - posted on 01/17/2011

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My boys 5 & 11 share a room and my girls 7 &8 share a room.. for the most part they play together with the toys.. I find most of they fight about is cleaning up the room.your boys are at a good age that they can share their toys and come up with things they can play together.. good luck :D

Staci - posted on 01/17/2011

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Our boys are 17 months apart and have always shared a room and it has been fine, they do wrestle but not usually in their room. They are now 12 and 11 and for now it still works just fine, we'll see if we need to split them for the teenage years.

Alison - posted on 01/17/2011

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My 2 sons ages 15 and 11 share a bedroom and always have and my 3 daughter ages 10, 8, and 3 share a bedroom and always have. Yes they fight but siblings fight no matter what. My sons fight with my daughters and vice versa so it doesn't mean it's because they share a room. I think it helps them learn respect for others things, how to share, gives them a better bond, ect.

Ellie - posted on 01/17/2011

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I've also got 2 boys, the eldest has just turned 5 and the younger one will be 3 in March. They'd had their own room till we went on holiday back in October and after the initial excitement of sharing and keeping each other up for hours they began to sleep well in the same room. When we got home they wanted to continue the arrangement so have now shared for the last 4 months. Thery are typical boys, one minute they're lovely to each other and the next arguing and fighting. We dind't think they'd last being able to share a room as long as they have and we're always open to separating them again if need be but they've both learnt to start sharing, particularly my 5 year old and he's becoming a very caring and protective brother since we did this!
If you're going to do it, I would suggest you do it well before baby arrives so the younger one doesn't feel displaced and it might be an idea to soften the blow for the older one by getting him a special present. Good luck x

Sheila - posted on 01/17/2011

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all children are different, all families are different. My 2 oldest children are 16 mo apart and havent spent hardly any time whatsoever apart. They want to share and if one goes somewhere the other doesn't the other mopes around and sometimes even cries until the other gets back. My oldest*DD*thinks she is mommy sometimes I think! lol I also have a 21 mo old and they both fight over him on who he gets to play with. For the most part they share everything pretty well.

Mariann - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have a 12, 9 & 8 year old daughters. For the past 4 years the eldest has had a room to herself & the younger 2 are sharing. They are 12 months apart so this made sense. But I agree with the others, this can be pure hell. They are so much alike in ways & complete polar opposites in others. They truely are the best of friends & the worst of enemies. My 8 yr old really wants a room to herself but the 9 yr old likes sharing. And like the other moms posted, punishments are harder. You can't seperate them by sending them to their rooms. When it comes time to clean their room, they argue over who made the mess & nothing gets done. But my husband & I have explained many times to the girls that until our 15 yr old son leaves for college, odds are nothing is going to change until then. (oh my poor nerves!) I would recommend, giving your 5 yr old the room alone, telling him how he's the biggest brother & needs his own space so he can do his school work, etc. And letting the your 2 yr old share with the upcoming baby. You could encourage this duo by telling your 2 yr old he could be your big helper with the baby & maybe that would keep down alot of feeling of jealousy? I would also be sure & tell the 5 yr old that their may be a time when he & the younger brother may have to share a room in the future, like if the new baby is a girl. This way, you have your bases covered for change if necessary. Good luck!

Amanda Wilkinson - posted on 01/17/2011

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i have a three bed houseand my boys share a room but there is ten years between them!!! it works ok now cos my 18yer old is just coming in from the clubs when my 8 year old is getting up lol it has had its times when it hasnt worked out but you just get on with it! hope things work out for you x

Kim - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 3 boys and a 3 bedroom house. In the beginning the baby had his own room and the other 2 (ages 6 and 3.5) shared. No problems. When my oldest turned 11, we decided that he deserved his own room. We thought there would be a problem because my youngest didn't really want to go. But he quickly adjusted and it actually made the 2 boys closer. I think sharing a room allows them an opportunity to talk and have someone there. It has worked really well for us. The only problem we may have to face is when my middle son (now 11) decides he wants his own room. But that isn't an issue yet, he likes having his little brother around. Even the oldest one will come in at bedtime to chat and listen to a story.

Eyðbjørg - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have got to girls, 6 and 10 years old now. They have always shared bedroom but, now they have got seperat rooms. It has never been a problem. They often sleep together even thoug they have got seperat rooms now. I don´t think that should be the reason for you, not having an other child :)

Karen - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 4 sons. My oldest 2 (11yo & 9yo) share one room, then I have 7yo twins that share a room. Somedays my oldest wishes he had his own room, but for the most part they all do fine. I love them sharing a room because it makes them work out issues they may have with one another instead of hiding out in their own room. I won't lie and say it's perfect, but I think in the long run they will be a lot closer than if they were seperated. It may even help once they are old enough to move out on their own. There is something to be said about that bond. Either that or they'll hate each other. LOL! I hoping that won't happen :)

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2011

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We have 3 1/2 yr old twin boys and a 6 week old boy! Our twins share a room, they prefer to be together! About 2 yrs ago we had to keep the oldest one up all night for a test. . . his brother did not like not having him in the room with him at bedtime! So, I think there would be more problems for us if we separated them.

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Well we have 5 children,3 girls and 2 boys. The boys are 10 and 12 1/2 and they share a room. The girls are 16, 14 (next month) and 9 in two months. The 16 and 14 share a bedroom also. I will say that it is not always peaceful, there are a lot of "disagreements", especially between the girls.... but they are teens and is to be expected. :) The boys have their moments too. They do not fight all the time, I would say less then half for the boys... more then half for the girls! Again, the girls are older,have different personalities and likes. The boys have to be told to stop playing around when they are suppose to be getting dressed or doing other chores... The girls is mostly "I took the laundry down yesterday-- no,I did!" or "turn your music off, I want to listen to mine" or "can you turn your light off". That kind of fun stuff! :)
I should say add that we homeschool and they are together everyday, so that doesn't help, when they are always in each others faces! They would like to have their own room, but that is not feasible. So all in all it isn't all that bad, but there are times when it is, and in those times you just need to pull through and find a solution to that one problem.

Marie - posted on 01/17/2011

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My sons (ages 7 & 9) share a room and they love it! There are times when they have to sleep separately and they can't wait until they get to sleep in the same room again. In fact, I find that they get along best when it is bed time. They love talking and laughing with each other as they wind down.

Glenda - posted on 01/17/2011

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Have 2 girls, 3 years old and 8 months old, they've been sharing room since baby came along. The bigger sister love her wee sister and wants to go to bed when the wee one goes etc... Of course they will fight over things but they also will love each other's company and will learn that life is made "taking" and "giving". Good luck with your decision!!!

LaBronda - posted on 01/17/2011

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Yes, I have a two bedroom apartment and I have three boys. So they all share the same room. There are no fighting over things, they pretty much share alot because I have a set of twins that is 8 and 13 year old. The oldest keep most of his stuff up high so the twins can't get to them and the twins play together and share their toys

Kelly - posted on 01/17/2011

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We recently moved out daughters into the same room. They wanted bunk beds so in order to do that, they needed to share a room. The excitement of that took over and the transition was pretty easy. What we didn't tell them was that the reason they were getting bunk beds was bc we were having another baby and wanted to open a room for the baby. My fear was that one would feel like they were getting kicked out of their room for the baby. They adjusted well, fight like sisters but also love sharing a room. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/17/2011

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Yes, my two girls share a room. They are 3 years apart as well. They typically are only in their rooms to sleep. Hasn't been a problem for us!

Karen - posted on 01/17/2011

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Hi I'm a mother now of 4 grown children.. And back in 1981 when they were.6,4,2, 1.. They all slept in the same bedroom. They four were 1 daughter the 6 year old and the rest all boys.. We were in the military and asigned to 3 bedroom home. My daughter had her own room. and before the 1 year old came my 4 year old and 2 1/2 old shared a room. Now if your think why did all the children end up in the same room well. That easy..See all the boys shared the bedroom. But their sister was so close to them..She'd go sleep on the floor in their room. No matter how many times we tell her no. My point is this.. Your sons will only have problem with sharing a room if you two make an issue about it. Them share room might bring them closer together. And if the start to agree over stuff.. Remove the stuff..Brother and Sister or sibling should learn to share. If they fight over a toy remove it.. Having them share a room will teach them lots of values that most children never learn.. Why now I'm a grandma and I live with my daughter and her son and daughter.. The grandchildren are now 10 and8.. but from birth to last year they shared a room..Why because it was all we could afford was a 2 bedroom place. So we shared.. It did hurt them and they are closer then most.. Very protective of each other. Look at it this away..if one of your sons grows up and goes in to the Navy, Marines, Army, Air Force.. They will eat shower and yes sleep in a huge room with like 10 other guys..Your son will not know these guys at all.. Will you beable to get your son his own room.. The answer to that is NO.. He'll have to get use to sharing with others.. I speak from experince I'm a Vet Army

Hanisha - posted on 01/17/2011

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my kids share their rooms.. We have 3 boys and they all love to be together... I think u don't have to worry.. they do learn to share and play together..

Blezilda - posted on 01/17/2011

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Our two sons age 13 & 19 are sharing a room. Each had his own bedroom when they're toddlers but both wanted to sleep in one room and since then, they share the same room except now it's bigger and is separated by a low wall which serves also as their bookshelves and study area. Yes they still argue and fight but most of the time, they're fine and most of all, they're both doing good in school..

Christina - posted on 01/17/2011

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we have three daughter and our oldest has her own room and the younger ones the ages of our children are 9,6,4 and it works out wonderful! It has brought them together and made them even closer I would suggest to have them in the same room actually cause it keeps the family tighter and as one.

Amie - posted on 01/17/2011

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It would be lovely to have a big house with many rooms so each child could have their own room but honestly that rarely happens. My 2 girls share a room (almost 12 and 6) and my son 5 has his own room because he is the only boy. Because the girls had to share they have got the main bedroom because it is the biggest. I sometimes feel sorry for my pre-teen who sometimes wants/needs her own space and the 6yr old is very attached to her and can be quite clingy. But I have a friend I admire who has 7 children in a 3 bedroom house. 6 girls and 1 boy, her motto is "well that's what everyone did in the old days.

Susan - posted on 01/17/2011

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My boys share a bedroom because they have to -- we have a 3 bedroom house and 3 kids. My daughter has the smaller of the two bedrooms and the boys have the larger.
When my parents were growing up it was not common for children to have their own bedrooms. Girls shared one room and boys shared the other room. Even in our neighborhood where most houses are 3 bedroom, kids share rooms simply because you can't give 5 or 6 kids their own bedroom.

If mine argue over stuff, I take it away. They learned quickly to play cooperatively.

Betty - posted on 01/17/2011

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My boys have shared a room since the youngest was born. Fighting wasn't much of an issue until they were both school aged. They are 7 and 10 now. We used to have them in a bunk bed/loft set up. This worked out pretty well until last summer when they started playing and picking at each other from their bunks. At that point, we sold the bunks, bought an old set of matching twin bed frames and a desk for each of them off of craigslist. Now the room is set up where they each have their own space with bed and desk. It definitely took care of the keeping each other awake issues. They still fight, but they enjoy playing together in there more. If you decide to go ahead, your boys will adapt. I wouldn't think sharing a room will cause more fighting...other than the normal boy stuff!

Cynthia - posted on 01/17/2011

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My 2 grand daughters have shared a bedroom for a few years now (now aged 6 and 8), they love it. They only had a 3 bedroom house, regularly had overnight guests. The girls had the main bedroom and used it as a bedroom / playroom. Parents had the bigger of the 2 other bedrooms (a decent size room), and the extra room became the spare room.
My son in law has nephews who not only share the same room, but also the same bed. They're now aged about 12 and 14 and still really enjoy each other's company. They've only ever shared.

Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2011

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My 2 boys aged 6 and 8 years share a room and have done for the last 4 years. At first it worked out great. But now its getting to the point we are thinking of moving or extending sometime soon. They don't tend to argue any more over their bedroom (they argue everywhere and over everything) its just them both having space to do different things in their room!!!!
Although they love sleeping in the same room and i think if they had their own rooms they would still want to sleep together.
Its also more difficult when the older one wants to stay up later. Don't let it put you off having a third. Siblings do argue but its all part of growing up even if it does sometimes drive me insane!!! I wouldn't be without my third. She is worth the arguments!!!!
Good luck

Joanna - posted on 01/17/2011

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My 2.5 yr old son and 5.5yr old daughter share a room. They fight 50% of the time and play together perfectly 50% of the time. Swings and roundabouts!

Johanna - posted on 01/17/2011

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I have 2 boys of 3 and 2 and they both share a room, as long as they have space to have their own bit of space then it's fine. I don't have any issues with my boys, and lets face it they will always squabble at sometime. Jo

Mpho - posted on 01/16/2011

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My 15 &13 share a room, when there other one is not yet home in the evening, u will here te other praing for the other, to be protected home safe. They get along fine, only when they have to clean the room, cause each one made their bed.....

Lilian - posted on 01/16/2011

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My oldest girl (6yrs) used to be in her own room, while my twin boys (4yrs) shared another. But last year, I decided to move my girl to share the rooms with her brothers and it seemed to work better as they enjoy each other's company and I will just leave them to settle themselves and sleep. Previously I have to stay with my girl till she falls asleep. However the boys do fight over whose bed they want to sleep on whose bear they are hugging but it all sorts out in the end.

Casey - posted on 01/16/2011

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I don't like to keep very much in the bedroom because it is for sleeping, so as soon as my 6 month old son finishes "cry it out" and sleeps through the night he will move in with my 2 year old (today!) daughter. I just didn't want him to mess with her sleep while I'm still nursing him. I just feel like it's a waste of space to have 2 rooms devoted to little kids sleeping. When they're older and actually keep things in their rooms I can see why they might like/need the space, but for little kids I think sharing a room is nice. Plus, I'm really looking forward to the day when we have 2 beds in one room and can do one tuck in time instead of 2!

Lori - posted on 01/16/2011

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Well Sherri, sometimes when your a single mom and budget is limited you do what you gotta so. I don't think the state has the right to say what goes on in families unless there is an issue of neglect or abuse.
I think that making someone feel bad because they are doing the best that they can do for their children.

Jen - posted on 01/16/2011

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I have three children. When I was pregnant with my third, we moved my 2 yr old son in with my 4 yr old (@ the time). They love it. They get to have great chats at night and while they fight over what music is played or certain toys, they are learning to tolerate, negotiate, and share. Of course as they get older, we are planning to move are daughter to a room and then the two boys will share. I also grew up sharing a room with my sister until jr high and we secretly loved it.

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We live in a 3 bedroom house and my two boys (5 & 10) have their own rooms, but they choose to sleep in one room with each other. They love it... they thinks its a camp night or sleep over every night, even though they still argue!

Stacy - posted on 01/16/2011

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My boys share a room. I don't allow them to play in their rooms though. Bedrooms are for sleeping and reading (mainly quiet times). They do fight but not because they share a room. :)

Christine - posted on 01/16/2011

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We live in a 4-bedroom home and my two boys share a bedroom! They have for several years now and we are glad we did it. There used to be door slamming and "Stay out of my room!" yellings, but now, although there are still arguments, the fighting is truly kept to a minimum. We think it teaches them to get along with others, respect their things and their privacy, and promotes a true friendship (who else can you talk to during the middle of the night when you should be sleeping?).

Hope - posted on 01/16/2011

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I have 3 girls my oldest is 15 and mine by birth my other two are 14 and 11 and mine by choice. They are my nieces I have had my 11yr old since she was 5 months old but my 14 yr old I did not get til she was 12. My oldest and youngest know how to share a room and are really close to each other my 14 yr old never had to share a room and I can tell. She has a very hard time respecting others space and privacy but will not share her space or anything in it fortunately I have a big enuf house so they all have their own rooms especially since my 14 yr old has ADHD ODD RAD and my 11 yr old was born with FAE and has ADHD RAD BIPOLAR II so its very hard to make my 15 yr old share with their issues as they don't get better as they get older but yes I think all kids should share a room so many valuable lessons they learn that help them become sensitive caring considerate members of society

Sherri - posted on 01/16/2011

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Well you have to remember a baby wakes on avg. every 3 hrs or so. So that means your daughter will be awake every three hours or so. My recommendation is do not put them in the same room together till the baby is sleeping longer stretches at a time around 4mo's or so. Keep the baby in your room in a bassinet, if that doesn't work then camp in the living room for the first few months. That is what I did.

Leah - posted on 01/15/2011

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i too, have a question about this and would love a response. I have a 5 yr old girl and am expecting in may. the infant and my daughter will have to share a room. has anyone had to do this and how will it affect my 5 yr old's sleep?

Kathy - posted on 01/15/2011

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My daughter is 15 and my son is 8. They have always had their own room. They have always asked to sleep together. Why? I don't know. My son feels more secure sleeping with someone and my daughter says he keeps her warm. Ughhh! She does get tired of him and kick him out but after a few nights they are back whispering and then the question comes. "Can I sleep with sissy tonight?" I don't know what that girl is going to do when she graduates in 2 years and goes to college. She can't rent a little brother to take with her! BTW, I shared a room with my baby sister and she was 11yrs younger than me. It was sun having a baby in my room. I loved sharing a room with her until I moved out!

Ashley - posted on 01/15/2011

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I have 2 giels very close in age 1 1/2 and 3 yo, some sibling rivalry... They share a room, but only to sleep in. If they fight or argue, whatever they are fighting over is taken away and no one gets it. If it happens again, threaten to throw it away unless they share (you dont actually have to throw it away, just make them believe it) if they continue to fight or dont listen, time out for 5 min, no tv, no talking unless spoken to by an adult and 1 min added on if they disobey or try to get up. My daughter hates time out. It sounds strict, but you gotta be somewhat strict on them. It works for me.

Princess - posted on 01/15/2011

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My 2 older girls 9 & 6 share a room and they are best friends. Sometmes they argue when it comes but all and all they do just fine.

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