does any moms get a brake?
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Holly - posted on 05/02/2009
On the very rare occation we might get a sitter and make it out of the house alone. Other than that I've stolen moments here and there. Walk the dog, bath - wine - candles - book, hubby take over for a few, or go to relatives/friends house - other kids play with my son - holy crap, adult conversation.
Chelsea - posted on 04/24/2009
I'm a single parent and relocated to a city where I had no family and friends so I had to accept that I would get no break. But we go to Chuck e cheese all the time. My kids find tokens underneath the machines, I bring the refillable cups when we go, and we eat dinner before we leave so I go for free! Go during the week when its quiet. I bring my laptop, ipod or lesson plans and they go off to play. The perfect break!
Sarah - posted on 04/24/2009
I don't really now what a break is anymore, but yes as mom's we do get breaks from time to time. If you need a day to yourself ask someone to watch the kids for a day and treat yourself. Sounds like you need it.
Shelagh - posted on 04/24/2009
When I was childminding, the closest I got was an hour of TV (Sesame Street) over lunchtime. I would sit the children in front of the TV (it was the only TV we watched all day), and I would sit up at the table and eat my lunch and drink a cup of tea, in relative peace.
Judith - posted on 04/24/2009
My children are young adults (4boys) but when they were little my husband knew I needed a break. I would lock myself in my room for several hours (every Friday night), I would turn on music, light candles. soak in a bubble bath and let the stress drift away. I loved my times and he would entertain the boys. We never left the house but I felt like I was miles away.
Amy - posted on 04/24/2009
it's hard now... but when the kids get older it gets easier! Now that my kids are older I'm able to do all the things i wanted to do when i was in my 20's and now.. I'm 34 and i feel like a 20 something all over again- without the drama!
User - posted on 04/24/2009
Not really. I wish my husbands mother was more involved. Then she could have grandma time and it would help me get some peace once in a while. If there are some of you who do not get a break from grandparents, just remember how badly you wanted it when your kids were young so you can help your children when they grow up and have their own families.
Kirsty - posted on 04/24/2009
So that I could have a break I've just started putting my nearly 4mth old daughter in a creche at the gym for a 1 and a half hour session while I can enjoy a workout so that I can feel energetic, revived & to have just a bit of 'me' time. I do miss her and think of how she's going but I know that she's only in the next room & they would come & get me if there were something wrong. I think it is actually really good for her too as she often cries when someone else, particularly strangers, holds her. Once I go back to work she will be in childcare too so I guess I'd like to get her familiar with being apart.
Mel - posted on 04/24/2009
I dont think so Sharleen ive havent had a day break yet, i wouldnt expect one after only 12 months but I still think if I did have one the next day it would feel like there had been no break at all. I want a 9-5 job!!
Anna - posted on 04/24/2009
You have 2 make time...it builds a stronger relationship between you and your children. I suggest to take a cruise with friends or a sister,etc. I took a 5 day cruise with my sister this February 09, I had a great time. I came backe refreshed and ready to tackle motherhood once again. It makes you a better mom when you take breaks!!!!
Vanessa - posted on 04/23/2009
No my dear it was a career choice but no one told us that at the time. We are on call 24/7 for life. Sure it gets easier and we can go out for dinner occasionaly but we have set our selves up for life in the corporate world being the cheif executives to our own little humans.... I find talking to God helpful and the odd glass of wine.....xxxYou are not on your own though, we have a very special purpose and role on earth..
Rochelle - posted on 04/23/2009
I don't get a break very often. I have started a group for mom's in our area. We have met once, but hopefully can keep it going. A way for us to get out, take a break, vent , socialize and even trouble shoot..figure things out together as moms.
Teri - posted on 04/23/2009
Actually, my break came when my kids left home, lol. I wish I would have taken some time for myself, I think I deserved it, but I was raised to think of myself last. I understand now, that that is wrong thinking...so when you can take a break, take it. You deserve it and earned it so you take it!
Nicola - posted on 04/23/2009
i find it difficult to get a break, my son's dad has him twice a week (we're seperated) but in that time i have to run all the errands and do the things it's not so easy to do when my son's around. I've never had him babysat, I don't no for me i feel he's my responsibility to look after him no one else's. so i suppose my answer is no and he's 18 months old.
Tasliym - posted on 04/23/2009
We Need a break every now and then. I am a full-time mom and sometimes I want to go to the store and not come back!! LOL However, I know my home would be in chaos without me so I stay. Ha No but seriously sometimes u have to demand a break. You are no good to anyone if you are exhausted and stressed. We all need time adult time!!
Vanessa - posted on 04/23/2009
thats the million dollar question-friends and family are very helpful in getting those much needed breaks. I don't get many, if at all-my husband just deployed for the second time-but I just recently moved closer to my parents while he is away and that helps alot-doting grandparents help out alot!!!! hang in there-its not an easy job-but the most rewarding!!
Tegan - posted on 04/23/2009
I'll have to say this momma gets no break unless my in-laws or parents take them. And with three kids they don't like taking them all because it's a ton of work. My husband is in school full time while working full time, and I work at a gym's child care center. My kids can come for free so it's a job that I see all the money but they are with me 24/7! Oh well when my hubby is done with school he promises me a vacation.
Crystal - posted on 04/23/2009
remember being a mommy doesnt end at five pm and start 9 am! We mothers are mommies all day 24/7...but we also need our own downtime, so we can focus on ourselves to reenergize... schedule breaks when you can and maybe see if your hubby/partner can take turns with you.
Lisa - posted on 04/23/2009
The old saying is true, "A mother's work is never done". I raised 5 children and about every two years I would take "mommy time" and go stay with my sister for a couple of days for a breather. It was helpful in so many ways. I was fortunate that my husband didn't mind staying with the kids......he was and still is a great man. If you can't get away, then take a couple of hours at the end of the day after the kids are in bed and make them yours.........if you can stay awake that long. :)
Roxanne - posted on 04/23/2009
My husband thinks every day for me is a break! Just one day I should leave him alone with our daughter... or let him put her to sleep... but I love her too much to make her suffer while he tries to figure it out! LOL. I have a feeling he wouldn't really get it even then.
Shafeqah - posted on 04/23/2009
Yes I do and it's great! I have three girls @ 3, 2, and a 1 yr old and I am home with them all day. I love them dearly, but sometimes you just need a moment to breathe. I don't think it's abandoning your children to take time away, it only helps with your overall sanity-at least it does for me!
Karen - posted on 04/23/2009
No, not really. My children are 23 and19. My 19 year old still lives at home...I still have to be after him for stuff and I'm always around for when he has friends over, which is often and when he has his girlfriend over as well. I still worry about them even though they are not infants or toddlers or gradeschoolers.
Once your in as a Mom, your in for life. You need a spouse/partner who is understanding and willing to help out with the kids and/or around the house. Or have a friend you can trade off with every now and then just to take some time to get a breather in.. but for the most part, a lot of Moms are busy with very few breaks.
Jakki - posted on 04/23/2009
nope sadly. ive been at home with my daughter for 12 months al day every day bar hospital appointment and food shops on the weekend. i dont go out as i dont have enough time between feeds. and people wonder why some mums are so bitter. i think ive just gotten used to my secluded life now and know that when my kids are grown up i can drop them off to the grandparents or whatever.
Oh no! Melissa that sounds tough. How often are you feeding your daughter - isn't she just eating 3 times a day? I don't know where you live, but can you try to get out and have some fun - are there parks near you or some kind of places you can go and hang out and have a nice time? Even a trip to a museum or art gallery can be nice place to spend some time with a little kid. Or play groups where you can chat with some other mums while your girl does some activities.
I hate to think of you stuck inside all the time worrying about the next feed.
Jessica - posted on 04/23/2009
My daughter (2 and a half) goes to her fathers house every 2nd weekend, she also goes to daycare twice a week while I work and then she has a girls day with my Mother (her Nanna) where they go to a spa, paint their nails and do all girly things.
I love having time to work and time to myself. But I do miss her terribly when she is not by my side. It's great when I pick her up- we have lots of cuddles!! :-)
Kimberley - posted on 04/23/2009
oh yes. you need to talk to your spouse/mom/bff......people are willing to help. don't be afraid to ask. i was for a long time. & now, i don't know how i survived those first few years. lol
you need "YOU MOMENTS" even if it's just a long bubble bath & a good book!
i hate it when my mother in law loves to tell me "i did it all by myself". makes me so angry. maybe she did doesnt mean i should have to especially having a child with extra needs. anyway totally agree everyone needs time by themselves or away fromm the baby just sadly not everyone gets it. my inlaws live 10 mins down the rd and have never once come up here to help out in 12 months. my mother lives over an hour away and my daughter screams while with her because she doesnt know her well enough so i cant get my break and i very much resent my partner and his mother for it
im kind of in the same predicament... my mum lives literally round the corner i think shes only visited me about 10times since my daughter was born in 2007!! and whenever i visit her shes either working stupid hours and sleeping when i go there or its her day off and she just wont answer door cause shes too busy. as for my partners parents their about 20minute drive away (but we dont drive and its hard getting 2 babys on bus by myself) and their too busy working and going out line dancing .. or recently some excuses have been their ill and dont want to give it to kids. also when they do want to look after kids...its only 1 at a time so either way i dont get no rest at all cause 1 or the other will still be at home!.. it doesnt help because were also living in a 1 bedroom flat aswel because council wont do f all to house us theres people more important to house and it could take upto when my eldest is 10years old before their call it important to house us. it gets me soo down and depressed that ive been to drs and theyve put me on some citlopram tablets (depression tablets) and the only way i can get a break is splitting up from my partner and him having them at weekends!!
thing is i love him but i just cant cope with not having time away from kids. a mum deserves a break.
Mel - posted on 04/23/2009
i kind of disagree with above comments i see no harm in leaving your child with his/her grandparents for 3 even 4 hours we have done it probably about 5 times in the past 12 months it gives me that little break to go shopping by myself for half a day and relax without stressing about babys feeds being due etc. i stay at home all day every day with my daughter so on the weekend when my partner and i do actually get the opportunity to drop her to my inlaws once in a blue moon i jump at it. they are not the most involved grandparents and have never come up to see her so i dont get a break at home.
April - posted on 04/22/2009
Can I say something as an "old" Mom? You never get a break, because you are a mom 24/7, even after they leave the nest.( I have 3 girls and 6 grandkids) That said. You have to take a little time for yourself every day, even if it's to get a nice hot shower, I don't mean leaving munchkin for HOURS, because that's not what we (most of us) have babies for, Being a mom saps all your energy, at times, but it is the most important job you will ever have. Make time, even if it's in between feedings. Use those around you. You'd be surprised at those who would LOVE to hold your munchkin for a couple of minutes (not complete strangers obviously) because that sometimes is all you need.
Now that I've droned on....can I stay?
Your a mom after my own heart. I want to be a mom and take care of my kids. I am 30 and my sis inlaw is 24 and she leaves her baby for days at a time. I knew that was unatural. I felt sick to leave my baby to go to work or to go out with my hubby for a couple hours. These new mommies are different. I get the brakes you talk about and I have inlaws who would watch mine as often as I like. I just want my kids to love me and not want a grandparent more. I have the love of my kiddo's and thats what being a mommy is all about.
April - posted on 04/22/2009
Yes, but rarely take one. We moved our inlaws close to us, so I know they will help. I could have whole days to myself. My hubby has never minded keeping Chandra. I just miss my family if I have to be away. I spent so much time running around and living it up as a young adult, that I feel settled. Home is were my heart is!