does any one have good behavior or chore chart

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2011 ( 41 moms have responded )

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I have a four year old n he will be going to school, I thought a good behavior chart would be a good idea to help him know what is expected of him in and out of school .

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Melissa - posted on 08/01/2011

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First of all, you have to do what works for YOUR family. I see people so very opposed to chore charts, and I see their point of view, but it just may not work for their family. For my family, my children have grandparents and aunts/uncles who overbuy for them for holidays. So my husband and I decided to make a "treasure box" for our kids with the extra items. They get to keep 2 or 3 of their choice toys and the rest they earn. I don't want them thinking that they will just get whatever they ask for. My 4 yo has 8 "responsibilities" that we track, ranging from take a bath and brushing his teeth to cleaning up toys, eating healthy foods and using his listening skills (others are be kind- this is my umbrella rule:), feed the animals, and quiet play while sister naps). It may seem like a lot, but he likes having the boundaries outlined for him. Then once he earns 40 stickers, (8 a day for 5 days or however long it takes to earn them) he can pick a prize from the treasure box. Two things have come out of this: first, his behavior has improved because HE can see what the expectations are, second he appreciates his toys more. He is not getting them all at once to play with for an hour and then never touch again. He has really learned to value and appreciate the toys much more. He takes pride in taking care of them. We also add toys from the store. If he sees something that he really wants, we buy it, but he doesn't get it til he earns it.

Another suggestion if you pay your child for chores. My son has 4 chores daily (on top of his "responsibilities"). He can earn $4.00 a week if he completes them daily. BUT we have 3 envelopes that he has to split them into. $1 goes to the Taxman (we explained that the taxman money helps to pay for things that he needs like food, but we do not use it- it is just an additional savings for him, although he doesn't know that, lol.), then there is the $1.00 in savings and $2.00 for spending. This has really taught him that he will not get ALL of the money he earns- some goes to Uncle Sam. Some 4 yo's may not get this, but my we have been talking about things like this with my son since he was old enough to talk about them. So this may not work for everyone. But maybe it will give you some ideas. Good luck!

Carolyn - posted on 08/01/2011

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Hi There
I think a job chart is a good idea. I made one for my four year old by taking photos of her doing certain chores - making her bed, feeding the cat, picking up toys etc. Every time she finishes a task she places a small sticker on her chart and at the end of the week she receives 10cents for each sticker. We then work out if she is going to spend or save the money. My 8 yr old also completes a chart with her own chores on it including emptying the dishwasher, feeding the chicken etc. My 8 yr old has saved over $100 and is keen to save more. I work and receive payment for my job so I don't think it is harmful for my children to learn that if we work hard there is a reward for that. The alternative is that I am constantly having to ask them to do those things they now do themselves without any prompting. Good luck.

Mabel - posted on 07/29/2011

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I actually have both of these charts for my almost 3 yr old.He does certain chores every day and at the end of the week he gets a small treat of mini M&M's.He also has the behavior chart and I can put different rewards on it and it has different things he can work on from having a fit in the grocery store to how he is at home.He does really well and for this one he gets a small bag of organic fruit snacks .I LOVE THESE CHARTS! He feels like he is doing something important and he is proud of himself.Hope this helps...

Yvette - posted on 08/03/2011

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I found that finding out what the class rules and consequences are and see if you can apply that at home. I found that my son knew all the expectations of him at school and it mattered to him more than our house rules! So we have a jobs chart which is wipeable. It has on it - Make bed, brush teeth, eat dinner, pick up toys in walkway. He gets a tick or a cross, depending on whether he does his jobs or not. He is rewarded with an hour computer time if he does all his jobs in a day.

Sandra - posted on 07/31/2011

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Hi Jessica.. I drew a bare tree with branches.. and i made leaves of pretty colours.. (you can buy leaves from art & craft shops) every time that your child is good you get them to pick a leaf and place it were they want on the tree and the tree soon blossoms with their good behaviour...it helped my pre school class...

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Sabrina - posted on 11/20/2013

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I recommend Kidpointz.com I use this site for most all things for my 3 yr old son, he has ASD, SPD & Behavior disorders. These charts have been a God send. It works great! It has many areas to choose from. For toddler ages up to teens. My 3 yr old loves the charts he gets to choose from. I love it!

Cathy - posted on 09/30/2013

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I have a question about behavior charts for the parents too? Should we have one? To teach my 7 yr. old that at any age you have to be responsible for your actions? And If so... What are some appropriate consequences for parents that will help 7 yr. olds understand? Ok like if mom yell, or doesn't do a chore or something that were trying to teach our children not to do. Lead by example right?

[deleted account]

I have a 3 year old daughter and we have a chore chart that she follows daily. I have to say a schedule goes great with the chore chart. I schedule everything! lol. My daughter has very few and simple chores but I set aside certain times everyday that she has to do her chores to get a check mark to earn her weekly sticker. When she earns that sticker she gets her reward. Candy works especially well in my home because i do not allow her to have sugary drinks or candy throughout the week so she gets her allowance and a pack of candy for the week. She may only be 3 but she understands how her chore chart works and what is expected of her everyday! :D Hope this helps.

Debbie - posted on 03/01/2013

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We use something called a reward list that has all kinds of things the child can pay for with their earnings of tokens. There is a system called the Happy Face Token System where children earn tokens instead of money by doing what they are asked to do happily. The rewards are simple, non-purchased things in general. For instance, sleep on top of the bed with my clothes on., watch an extra half hour of TV, stay up an extra 45 minutes on a school night, have an extra snack. My requirements are simple: come the first time I call and ask how you can help, say please and thank you, work happily, and be kind. Money doesn't buy a lot for children, but tokens do! My children even cashed dollar bills in for tokens! The twist was that they lost tokens if they didn't comply with the rules and did the job for FREE. We used this system for years in our home and it taught children to serve one another, look for ways to make others happy, learn moral values, honesty, integrity as well as improved school work and social skills. I can't say enough about how helpful this program was to our family.

Debbie - posted on 03/01/2013

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There is a great book called, From Combat Zone to Love at Home that shares parenting ideas and really good charts that actually work in teaching good behavior as well as chore charts. One especially is a chart for teaching children age 8 and older the steps involved in cleaning a room. For instance, each room is divided into sections. Bathroom list involves, sink, toilet, bathtub/shower, floor. the toilet is cleaned line by line: clean around the base of the toilet by the floor, wipe the base of the toilet bowl, wipe behind the toilet seat, etc...Then there is a do/did box. The children have to mark the did's next to the do's marked by mom. Each room is this specific. There is no way a child can say, "I didn't know that's what you meant!" Then the children turn their lists in (each child might get two or three room lists). Mom checks the assignments against the do/did's. If they are not done properly, the children go back and redo minus a fee for mom's re-check time. The children might lose a few bucks in the beginning, but within 6 weeks, they are making the allowance and you have a remarkably clean house. When you offer to do their job for them you are suddenly the best mom in the whole world and you get a "Thanks Mom, you would do that for me?" There are all kinds of remarkable, charts that work very well and have been time tested for over 20 years. It's a must have in my opinion.

Amy - posted on 12/26/2012

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It is definately a good idea because you are reinforcing the positive behavior by acknowledging it and rewarding it. When my son was little, he had different small rewards based upon his chart points- they ranged from a small matchbox car, to his favorite dinner that night, etc. As he got older, we changed to a reward chart for grades in school and linked them to computer/ipod time. For example, for each A or B he gets 20 minutes towards computer/ipod time. But for every Incomplete, D or F he gets -20 minutes and has to redo the work and show it to us and turn it into the teacher. This has worked out very well. He is only allowed on the computer on the weekends but it has been a way for him to work harder so he can get more time.

Linda - posted on 11/09/2012

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I have a 12 1/2 year old granddaughter who is ADD and was diagnosed at the age of 4 years old. She is not hyper, but has problems with focusing and she is forgetful. She has done okay in school until this year, she is now in the 7th grade and is having problems in school with her grades. She goes to a private school and it is very hard, but I am trying to find a way to help her stay organized and to make her a chart to help her in her studying skills and her social skills. She is shy, and she feels like she is all alone. She is very sweet, she is a pretty girl, not because she is my granddaughter, but also she is an only child. She loves to be with other kids. Do you have any suggestions on how I can help her. Her mother is a nurse and she works 12 hour shifts, and sleeps in the day time , and her dad sometimes has to go out of town because of his job. She is my only granddaughter, but I have 3 grandsons with no problems. This is very painful and she needs help...would love to hear back from someone who might can help. Thanks so much. Her mother takes her to her doctor, she is on medication that was changed 3 times to something that is mild for a change. My daughter and I have a conflict about this as I think there are other things that need to be done to help my granddaughter to be able to have a more balanced and happy life.

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2011

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I just became a member, and I just saw your post and thought I could share the site we have used in the past. Its one of those create your own sites for the chore charts. You can do certificates/ awards, chore charts, coupons for rewards etc. We have a great system we do with our son with tickets (under $10 for a roll of 1000 tickets, at Walmart or Party City and its like money so he can cash it in for video games that we have stocked up, movies, candy, sleep over and even cash it in for real money to buy something at a store or take a friend some place. We also have a grab bag he can cash in his tickets for three pulls. It works great and its positive and negative rewarding all in one! He gets them taken away as well. If you or anyone wants to ever know more, just send me a message. Here is the site: http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/chart2.a...

Stacia - posted on 11/02/2011

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we have a copy of a board game posted in our dining room. we have 4 pegs on it with one representing myself, my husband, and two boys ages 9 and 11. each time the boys do a chore, they get to move ahead one space. each time they practice their piano lessons, they go ahead one space. each time they practice their band instruments, they go ahead one space. they are allowed 3 spaces per day. if either one is misbehaving which would require a timeout, my husband or myself gets to move ahead one space. I am paired with my 9 year old and my husband with the 11 year old. the idea of our chart is that each time a child gets to the end of the board (it has 25 spaces) they will receive $2 for allowance. Each time my husband or myself gets to the end, the child paired up with us has to pay us $2. Now each time the child gets to the end, we move our pieces back to the beginning.This helps with getting chores done and keeping up with instrument lessons and promotes good behavior since neither one of them wants to pay us. So far this has worked well for us. We do not use small tasks such as getting something from the pantry or taking magazines into the other room as chores. we use things like cleaning the bathroom, sweeping floors, vacuuming floors, etc.

Joy - posted on 08/03/2011

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I really like Yvette's plan! Where he gets computer time after he finishes home work, chores etc. I have a pass word on our computer and I do the same thing. They can't go on because there is a pass word so they can't sneak on.

Heidi - posted on 08/02/2011

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a behavioral chart is a great idea but only use 1 behavior at a time. My son's summer school teacher told me yesterday to concentrate on 1 behavior at a time with young children. To many is overwhelming and will understand and feel their success fully with just 1. So Nick's (4 years old )will b "Listen the first time", and will incorporate using your words not actions. Then when success is apparent then will move on to the next. I hope all this info will be helpful. Best of luck. Heidi

Jennifer - posted on 08/01/2011

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PS- I do think that everyone should do what works for them and what enforces their family values. I do think that children should behave because it is the right thing to do, not because of rewards. However, I have a job that my four year old is able to take an active role in, and I told him that if he was old enough to work, he was old enough to get paid. So I give him $1 every week.
I have seen posts that talk about teaching your child to earn $, and I guess if that is a family value, they should encourage that, but I focus my discipline on less monetary values, I couldn't care less how much my child earns as long as they are ethical, happy people. (My husband and I have very little in material wealth, not even a car. We ride bikes to stay in shape and help the environment.)

Jennifer - posted on 08/01/2011

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I tried that sort of thing, but I am not organized enough to remember to fill it out or give the rewards. I guess they would work well with the right kid and the right parent, but not for me. Luckily, my kids seem to have initiative in spades. I spend more time trying to convince my helpful 4 year old to back off and mind his own business. For the most part, you can let the teacher take care of school expectations.

Debbie - posted on 08/01/2011

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I use My Reward Board. The kids love the colorful graphics and animation. You can print reward certificates and the program even keeps track of allowance. The progam isn't free, but the cost is minimal (about $15 when i bought it 2 years ago). For me it was well worth it.

Erika - posted on 08/01/2011

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I have two daughters: a 4 year old and a 9-month-old. Since the baby was born, I have been less able to assist my older daughter with the morning and evening routines. Before, I would have to remind & redirect her what to do over and over every day. Often it would turn into yelling and/or crying and/or time outs. What a terrible way to start (or end) the day! The chore chart saved us! It's not perfect, as I made it myself, but she gets to put a sticker on each grouping of tasks, and then at the end of each week, she is rewarded with something small: ice cream for dessert, a movie from the library, whatever. She caught on right away and loves it! And it has enabled me to take care of the baby in the morning while she gets herself ready. She has become so much more mature and responsible as a result of it, and we no longer leave the house late, angry, and exhausted in the morning. It saddens me to see some of the other posts that are so negative. Parents should do what works for their family!

Stacey - posted on 08/01/2011

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I think by you having that behavior chart is a great idea, maybe have it for good and bad days, plus add on an award chart as well..
The award part implements good behavior I used ( still use it ) it with all of my children ages 16,15,14 and 9 and it really does work !!! Good Luck !!!

Kimberly - posted on 08/01/2011

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What I do is pick 5 behaviors you want him to work on & use excel to come up with a chart! Use the Print Set-up to make sure it will fit on a 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper.

Carolyn - posted on 08/01/2011

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Melissa I love your idea of splitting the money three ways, I think I will use it. Also love your toys idea, sometimes I feel like we are drowning in toys and you are right about the children only playing with it for a short period of time and not placing any value on the things they receive - well done you, on some great ideas.

Nancy - posted on 08/01/2011

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My daughter was a champion dawdler in the morning getting ready for school until we made a chore chart. It worked perfectly. We bought a package of coloured stars at the dollar store, and she felt good about herself when she could fill the whole column. And it made our mornings so much easier and far more pleasant without Mom having to nag constantly.

If you've had some behaviour issues at home, it might work to set expectations at school, but you may find that your difficult child at home is a dream at school!

Tammy - posted on 07/31/2011

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no child should have a chore chart, and no child should get stickers or m&ms for making his bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!you should be teaching him outright - personal hygeine and daily respondsibilities as mandatory awarness...if u sit down to dinner as a family and TALK, he will know what is excpected of him in and out of school,if he respects u, u wont even need to pay him to pick up his toys and or then weed the garden

Joy - posted on 07/31/2011

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My kids are 25, ,23, 17, 15. I have raised very responsible great kids. My oldest two are making $60.00 an hour and I always said that chore chart was what did it! I did not make my kids do chores they only had to keep their own rooms clean up through 6th grade. Starting when they were 3 we put a chore chart on the fridge. If they voluntarily wanted to help me around the house like as toddlers maybe dust or help me in some way like that they would get maybe 50 cents or a dollar depending on the chore etc. On Friday when I got paid I took them over to the chore chart and added up in front of them the money they made and gave it to them. When they were little we had a plastic piggy bank and they would love to put that money into it. By time they were all 15 they not only made straight A's in school, but they all had jobs and saved their own money so that each one bought a car by 17 for cash. Actually my 17 year old bought a car when she was only 16 for $1700.00. Money she had saved herself from her job at Chick-Fila. When you teach your kids to earn their own money it really pays off later in a big way!

Angie - posted on 07/31/2011

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I don;t think a chart will help just let him be himself and he will see other kids and learn from them. I know what it is but, just be ready to weclome him home at the end of the day.

Star - posted on 07/31/2011

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Love Behavior Management Charts! I started my (now 12yr old) boy on his at the age of 6. I have found that his behavior is SO much better when we're following the chart! For littler ones, like your 4 year old, you may want to try looking at a teacher supply store or Office Depot/Staples (in the teaching aides). They tend to have some elementary style wipe charts where you can customize to your specific child. Being kind to friends, Using inside voices, Listening to teacher, etc. I have used charts from here at times: www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com
As they get older the charts obviously change. Make sure the reward is working towards a goal. Example: 1 Star for each responsibility earned. The depending on how many responsibilities he has (I would keep it an attainable amount so he doesn't get frustrated. Maybe 4) he should be rewarded if he gets 3 out of 4 stars per school week. Ask him what a he thinks the reward should be (ice cream, new movie, zoo, etc) I also kick in a reward for a "perfect day". But at my guys’ age, it's now a bonus on top of his allowance. The most important, I feel, is to be very decisive. He did it or he didn't! There is no grey area. There will be no motivation for him if he doesn't experience the negative consequence as well as the reward. I hope this helps! Good luck!

Heidi - posted on 07/31/2011

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The main thing for my 4 year old is listening so his summer school teacher made flash cards. He is more visual because to many words seem to interfere. The first flash card had a stop sign on it with a #1, 2nd card was a stop sign with a #2, and the third was a picture of a chair which supports the calm down area he sits at school. Then there is no yelling or switch to being quite, Using your words not actions to get someones attention, eye to eye contact to help him stay focused on his activities. I am get impatient sometimes so I just grab his cheeks just to look into my eyes and stay Nicholas what are we doing let's finish what we are doing before we or you do something else. But the listening thing is the key.right now. And probably is with most 4 year old boys. These are just some suggestions so I hope they are helpful. Heidi

Kirsty - posted on 07/30/2011

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We always did charts with our children, we asked what they most wanted and set an amount of stars they needed to receive them. A small gift was available for 5 good days with extra stars given for extra days that they were good then all stars added together counted towards the gifts they had chosen to save for. This helped enormously with behaviour and chores and has also shown them that that some things need to be saved for be it by stars or money and gives them a valuable lesson in life that not all things come easily. I hope this works for you if you decide to try it.

[deleted account]

I have only a chore chart. I expect good behavior at all times and will not reward for something expected. The chore chart is something I expect done all the time as well but the are kids and should not be expected to remember what to do, or when to do it on their own until they are at least 7-8 yrs old.

Becky - posted on 07/30/2011

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My son is almost 13 now , but when he was in elementary school I did the chart and it worked out well. My advice is to keep it short and get him stars or stickers or something he can put on himself when he accomplishes things. It doesn't only help avoid arguments, but it boosts their self esteem when they see their accomplishments. You might even offer a little prize at the end of the week if he does really well. Something inexpensive or that doesn't cost money, ya know? I think it works really well.

[deleted account]

I have a son 16 and a daughter 13 year old. I have used Easy Child and it allows you to start you and adjust as they get older plus allows customization per child's needs. It is a computer program that tracks and prints out. Check it out online.

Mabel - posted on 07/29/2011

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On the chore list he has it gives a chore of brushing teeth,making bed,bath,exercising,pick up toys ,eating dinner and going to bed.He does well on most but with the brushing teeth and making bed I have to help him some.

Tamara - posted on 07/29/2011

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With mine there are no set limits as long as they are actually working on it not dilly dalling around. each of mine have two, age appropriate usually they each cook once a week so that chore is done with help everything else they can do alone.

We have a set time for them to get started, so they all start at the same time. It was hard at first and took some pushing but before long its they just do them at the time

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2011

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How many chores you give em, do you give a time limit on the task u ask. If they back talk or tantums, or have to tell em many times still dont get done do u give stikes, time outs, take things away

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2011

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How many chores you give em, do you give a time limit on the task u ask. If they back talk or tantums, or have to tell em many times still dont get done do u give stikes, time outs, take things away

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