Does anyone else feel like a single parent??

Erinn - posted on 08/16/2009 ( 58 moms have responded )

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My husband is unemployed so stays up allll night and then sleeps in every single day... if I try to talk to him about it he'll get angry... a 3 year old and a 9 month old are VERY exhausting!! Why don't some men wanna be there to spend time with the kids?? A little noise and they're gone, but i'm ALWAYS there throughout the yelling, screaming and noise... I can't leave!! How's that fair?? Can anyone relate??

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Recola - posted on 08/18/2009

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OMG, girl YES!!!! I have been there and done that, but now with our kids being 15,12,10, and 9 it doesn't get any easier...just lighter (no diaper bags). Try having PTA meetings, parent/teacher conferences, and work obligations collide...and to top it off, we live in a city with NO FAMILY!!!! I am just as frustrated as you are-but hang in there and keep talking to him. He may get mad and storm off, but maybe you should do the same thing and go on strike...it worked for me!

Here's what I take, take it as it is. I didn't just ask him to get off the video game to help put the infant, toddlers, and pre-schooler to bed-I unplugged the TV and demanded it. Walked out the door, got in my car and went to IHOP for celebratory pancakes. He had no choice but to put the kids to bed because I wasn't there to do the jb by myself.

Good luck girlfriend! Just remember, you didn't have them by yourself and if you get stuck raising them yourself then maybe you should reevaluate things and do it by yourself and just be happy.

[deleted account]

I was married for many years. I was always the one to get up with the babies... I was the only one cooking, cleaning, laundry. the only thing he did was yard work when he had to . and work on our car. That was it. as my kids reached 2 and 4 I started to work nights ,.. i worked all night long came home and napped here and there.. took care of my kids. cooked did the homework thing,,spent time with them...still did all the cooking cleaning etc..slept when they went to bed thats why it was important for me to have a set bedtime for them. 7pm they were in bed and i went to bed until 10pm then off to work,, i did this for 12 years.. i felt like a single parent for years and years... i did all the discipline. he didnt know how..and over disciplined.. or i would punish them for something and i turn around and hes allowing them to do what i told them they couldnt do.he would say just let him watch tv.he dont need to be punished..this frustrated me so much.. this happened over and over and over for years... I finally got divorced and it was very difficult to discipline because they wernt use to it.. and were shocked when i punished them and they actually stayed punished,(by this time they are now 12 and 14), that took them some getting use to.... I stayed with my husband only for the sole sake of my children. i am 42 now ,,divorced have a wonderful man who treats me with more respect than any man has ....... and my kids realize that i was a single mom. it amazes me what they remember from when they were very very young.. so always remember .. THEY remember ...

Stina - posted on 08/16/2009

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Ok. sometimes I do get to feeling like a single mom... but when I take a serious step back, I see I feel that way 'cause my hubby doesn't want to do a whole lot when he gets off work- but on his days off, he helps in some pretty significant ways... I feel during the week like I carry the majority of everything on my shoulders since I too work 30 hours a week... plus I care for the kids all day before leaving for work.



Heres the thing though- when my husband went through several months unemployed last fall and winter, he helped. He did things with the kids and he did help around the house. When I felt he wasn't pulling his share, I asked him to pick off of my daily list of things I do- 3 things. And he did. I'm very blessed... Also, while he was unemployed, he was out applying for jobs EVERY DAY... well. five days a week as iff it was a job.



so. it is totally fair for you to have a sit down with your husband. Explain how you feel when he is home and available to help but is not helping. Ask him to help you in specific ways.



Next time he's sitting on the couch and the kids are needing care as well as the house chores needing to be done, you can also ask him directly. "Honey, The baby needs a diaper change/to get ready for bed. Could you do it, or would you like to help out with the dishes while I do?



Communication is key. It took me and my DH several arguments over the course of five years till we arrived at a mostly even division of the workload with house and kids.

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Esmeralda - posted on 08/24/2009

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my husband was in the Navy for almost 10 years,3 of which we were married with our daughter. so,he actually was gone for many months at a time.hardly hearing from him oh the phone sucked!,and emailing just doesnt do the trick sometimes.So i really was like a single parent.then when he got home from deployments we had to readjust to eachother,so he wanted to relax while i did a lot of the work.



you just HAVE TO talk with your husband about it. it wont stop or change if you dont.and youll just grow angrier and maybe even resent him for it.



So...get him prepared one day.Say something like,"hey later,i really need to talk to you about how you can help me with the kids while im gone." or something to that effect.



good luck!

Katherine - posted on 08/24/2009

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I think what your husband is doing is totally ridiculous. I would never put up with that. If he doesn't have a full time job, then he should be doing JUST AS MUCH AS YOU around the house AND with the kids. It's not fair, you are BOTH the parents.



I suggest that you tell him you are going to take break. Get away for a weekend, and leave him ALONE with the kids. That will give him a really good taste of what your everyday life is.

I did this with my husband (and he wasn't even as bad with the not helping and spending time with the kids. Plus he has a Full Time job that is 6 days a week 10 hours a day.) Anyway, we did this, and it really helped him to understand where I'm coming from.

Manisha - posted on 08/20/2009

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I totally feel your pain...cause I feel the exact same way right now...my baby is only 1 month 3 weeks old, and I am already getting exhausted with the running around with her, and the in-laws....when I ask my husband to watch her for a while, while I get some house chores done, or even catch up on a couple hour's sleep, I end up having to drop everything and take over again, hes attention is fully on electronics, tv, computers, etc...i feel like I entered parenting all by myself, and now I have this problem where my little one has not gone to the bathroom - poop- for 4 days now, and I have been trying everything, but he just seems to be relaxed and not bothered- WHY???!!!!! We both agreed on planning to have kids, and we both entered it together, but now I have been left to deal with everything by myself!!!

Chrissie - posted on 08/20/2009

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I know the feeling! My hubby works and is gone for about 12 hours a day thru the week. Once he is home he is on the computer or has his nose in a book. Then on the weekends he sleeps in until around noon, gets up and does some yard work then sits at the computer. Meanwhile I am doing everything for our children. I do all the cooking and cleaning. If I need help I have to basically force him to help me and of course he'll get mad about it. He wanted these kids as bad as I did and now he basically shows financial support and that's it.

[deleted account]

I know how you feel! I feel like a single parent most of the time because Dh is always in on his computer. It's worse when I'm tired or my back is killing me but I will admit he at least tries to help me when I need his help. The baby has learned though if she needs ANYTHING AT ALL mommy is the one to go too.....lol.

[deleted account]

I'm a single parent with three children. It is hard work being single parent. For me it is the right decision to be one as both my children and I are better off without the ex-husband. The decision to become a single parent shouldn't be taken lightly, but sometimes it's the right one - but it's not right for everyone.



I find that my children and I are better off on our own and that the house is much more relaxed. Benefits include - complete control of the remotes when the kids are in bed, when I say no they can't go to anyone else in the house and get the desired reply. Down side is that there isn't another adult in the house to talk to when the kids are in bed and can become lonely. I make sure that I try and socialise with other adults on a regular basis - but this tends to be mainly during school hours.



Getting out for any form of adult contact/social life outside school hours is difficult as I have to either take the kids with me or find someone else to look after them.

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

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yes i do my partner is a lorry driver and hardley ever home when he is hes too tired to do anything!!!

Lore - posted on 08/19/2009

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OMG yes sounds like my life everyday. I feel like I have practically raised my 2 kids 5 and 7 months by myself for almost 6 years!!! I fell your pain!!

Barbara - posted on 08/19/2009

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You betcha. My 'kids' are now 28, 26, 24, 22, and 20. Three still live at home, one wit her baby. Hubby is too tired by the time he comes home to deal with their traumas, which as adults they have just like I do at times, so I have to deal with their adult traumas and my own. The 22 year old is in Iraq. The 28 year old was engaged to a man who tried to kill her twice before we finally got her away from him. I wish I had hubby's support, but he's just too tired and too tied up with work to seem to care or notice.

Melanie - posted on 08/18/2009

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I can totally relate my boyfriend is a farmer and he is very busy.He has never given our daughter a bath he very rarely feeds her or changes her.When he is home he acts like were suppose to be quiet and leave him alone,he never gets up with her in the mornings.When it's rains I have to beg him to keep his own daughter so I don't have to drag her out in the rain to go to daycare.There are days when all I feel like I've done is picked up after him and our daughter he believes that I should cook,clean,take care of our daughter everything.Yet I still have to work outside of the home.It feels good to vent and be able to talk to others in the same situation.

Meredith - posted on 08/18/2009

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I know how you feel. Well right now me and my husband are both umemployed, but I'm the one that gets up in the middle of the night when she wakes up screaming or when she wakes up at 5 o'clock ready to go. I get to 90 to nothin when with her and he sits on the couch watching tv. If I mention it at all it's the end of the world.

Jessica - posted on 08/18/2009

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i have a 3yr old, 2yr old and 3 month old and i can relate alot!! my husband is employed tho but thinks since im a stay at home mom i got life easy but he dont understand what i do. i also dont leave while he does and goes with his family and friends and has fun. it does suck but think positive cause you are the one with the kids and wont miss out on the special momments with them. i agree it would be nice to get out and leave the kids home with dad for a few hours but it doesnt happen but i just stay positive. i will be the one with all the memmories and the one the kids will come to with problems when they are older.

Shelley - posted on 08/18/2009

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yup ive two boys one is 3 and one 2, from the min they were born it was nite feeds, changin all that comes with kids!! and with them all day!! my partner works then comes home and goes out again till ten wen there in bed, ive one child with problems and find it exhaustin as the youngest is still up 4 times as nite!! hold on there it will get better....ive bin told lol!

Karen - posted on 08/18/2009

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It sounds to me as if several of you need Biblical counseling. Look at NANC.org for a Biblical counselor near you.

Crystal - posted on 08/18/2009

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i am "married" to a truck driver who is gone sunday through friday and instead of spending time with this family on saturday he decides to go spend half the day at his mom's wo dont get along with each other and by the time he gets home he is exausted and don't want the kids to be "loud" or anything and if i try to get onto the kids about something he tells me to be quiet that i am making more noise than they are and he does this right in front of them so now they don't think they have to listen to me

Karen - posted on 08/18/2009

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My dear, you need to pray that your husband will step into his role as husband and father. He is breaking the most basic commandment to love you as Christ loved the church.

As difficult as your job is, husbands have a more difficult one, they answer to God for their actions, and their family. Pray that he will be willing to "man up" and take on his God given role. Be patient, God will answer.

Crystal - posted on 08/18/2009

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Yes I can my husband is the same!!! He works and when he is off in stead of being at home he plays golf or goes and hangs out with his sister or Dad!!! It is not fair I only have a nine month old and it is very exhausting. However now I would be scared to leave her with him because he is not around enough to know what she needs and when she needs it! It is very hard to do but I think and hope that if you just keep trucking through it will be for the best and they will be the ones who regret missing that time with there kids. I also believe that it will begin to show through the kids as the get older!!! All you can do is do you best and taked adavantage of some time for your self when they sleep. That is the only time I have a few minutes for me it helps a little bit!!! Hang in there I know it is very frustrating!!! When I try to talk to my husband about it he just says I work all day I am tired so get off my butt!!! He thinks that 5 mins here and there is enough time spent and that time is spent with her in his lap in the chair in front of the TV WOW!! What great time together they just dont understand all we can do is our best and pray that one day they will see the Light!!! Good luck!!!!

Leigh - posted on 08/18/2009

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Well don't go getting pregnant again any time soon!! Go get some counceling, not for him for you, so that you can learn how to 'talk' to him, if you can't communicate you will end up with an unhealthy demonstration to your kids of what's involved with a fruitful relationship. Good luck.

[deleted account]

How long has your husband been unemployed? I'm not defending him, but, depression may be setting in. Depressed people will sleep as much as possible. I'm assuming if he stays up all night, he's toying with the computer or games/ the unrealities of life! Is there a trusted friend or family member whom you would trust to speak to him about it? AND just for the record, it's nothing you're doing wrong. Your relationship simply cant't continue as it is. Somehow, you should convey that message to him. If he were ill or unable to work, it would be different. As it is, he should be spending his time actively seeking employment.

Kelly - posted on 08/17/2009

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I sure can relate. All though my kids bio father doesn't want anything to do with them and I married and they have a step dad. He can barely be called a step dad because he doesn't do anything either until I have had enough and blow a gasket. It's not fair but in time it will get better for you I hope. Sit down and talk to the dad one on one or at least try to. Hopefully everything works out for you in the end.

Sifa - posted on 08/17/2009

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Oh girlfriend you are not alone. I have been with my husband for 13 years. My highschool sweetheart!!!! I do EVERYTHING!! I work full time 9-6 and have weekends off. We have 3 kids together a 3 yr old, 18 mth old and a 3 week old. My husband has to be told to come do something, like watch them, feed them etc. Actually he can only tolerate to watch them for me until I finish what I am doing. He gets angry with feedings..will not give them baths unless I beg...Girl....I am so a single mom its not even funny...I don't even know why they stay around lol. But you can always reach out to us to vent that is what I do and then I feel better....I agree with some other moms...they always want a break...oh they tired but they have no consideration for what we do all day long!!

Cybil - posted on 08/17/2009

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wow!! its unbelieveable to how many moms scan relate to this!! but yes i am one too. i can relate. my husbands works full time. i am a full time model and i still am a full time mom1 i even take may kids with me to photoshoots at times just cause he's to tired to watch them. i also live in a joint family system (maening i live with my inlaws) i leave my kids home on the weekends when i work and i think that their dad is taking care of htem but uh NO!! his mom is!! he is in the same house but he's playing on the computer or upstairs sleeping!! wehni say i need a night with my girl firends he gets angry.. but he does it!! its so not cool. your not alone. we all just have to figure out how to get these dads up off their butts and spend time with their kids casue they will miss it.

Shawa - posted on 08/17/2009

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Yes, I so can relate. My kids are 7 and 12 now. But for the hole marriage (16 years) my husband travels the world. So when he comes home it take him a day or two to turn the Dad clock back on. I wish for once we as moms coult turn are mom clocks off and relax. BUt no are clocks run 7 days a week 365 days a year. I always tell my son when you get married someday you better not treat your wife this way. He always says" OK, Mom". So yes, I do understand.

Julie - posted on 08/17/2009

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hi. my husband is down state for the third time.he comes home every other weekend believe me i can relatemy kids r 13,7,and 5.it is very stressful and then when he is home he doesn't want to do much with them. i can't talk to mine about it either. he gets all defensive! i don't get to leave either. its hard not to feel some resentment towards him. some days i call him crying, and some days i call him screaming! i just try to do the best i can with the kids.believe me though i am not perfect.i have my days.just do the best u can.and do like me ...give him a kick in the ass!!

Daysi - posted on 08/17/2009

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i know how u feel sometimes i feel like that my husband works monday to friday 9 till 6....
i have a one month old an i am the one that is awake during the whole night tryin to calm the baby down an everythin an all i get is am a deep sleeper........but hey i understand he has to work lookin after a child is like a job too except u do it 24/7 but like everyone says communication is the best thing to do most of the times i say to my husband can you change his nappy while i do this or would u prefer to do it it works wonders!! good luck!!

Kristina - posted on 08/17/2009

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Absolutely! It is a constant struggle with my husband getting him to spend time with our son so I can get some work done. And when he does, he acts like he's a hero and tells me how much time he spent with him! Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer for you. Most of the women I've talked to have said the same thing. I've tried some of the tips some of the others ladies mentioned - talking to my husband about it and even leaving our son with him and going into another room to work. Nothing seems to help. As our son is getting older, my husband spends a little bit more time with him, but I have accepted that I will have to take on the majority of the work load. Before I was a mom, I thought men and women were for the most part equal, but now I realize that we have a long way to go, ladies! The only thing that makes me feel better is that no matter how hard it is, I'll take the connection I have with my son over a lighter workload any day!

[deleted account]

I have that book "Total Woman" it is a real good read for a woman, I think I'm going to reread It might make me feel better again!! Thanks!!

[deleted account]

I feel this way alot also, my husband works but when he's home he just wants to veg. Then on top of taking care of are boys, he gets my to do everything for him, too. As if I didn't have enough to do already.

Cyndi - posted on 08/17/2009

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employed or unemployed, can I relate! sometimes there are men who just don't know how to be fathers. ..and some are more like kids than the kids. LOL Anyway the father of my children didn't know how to be a father or a very good husband...then my second husband, well, he had good intentions but his work, golf, drinking, singing (entertaining) where the top things on his list, so he was still a child himself: so as you can see I was a single parent or you could say instead of 3 children I had 4. You do the best you can and if this really affects your marriage and family then I suggest counseling....my first husband only wanted to control me, and have his other ladies on the side, the children were just tools he used against me, etc. The second husband just hadn't grown up and was the baby of his family having two older sisters and no father around while growing up...this sometimes has a big effect on how a man will be as a father. I feel that when married with children both parents must share responsibilities....the children need the love and attention and disipline from both mother and father....it is just that simple. I told my husband that I was very unhappy with our marriage because he couldn't be a proper husband or father. My second husband; well I told him he made me feel like a call girl more or less. I was depressed and had to do everything on my own. I remember the day he came home from work and I had had new carpet laid....back then teal green was popular and that is what I got, he looked at it and got his putter out and said "Wow, this makes a great putting green." Then proceeded to ask me when did we decide to get new carpet? etc. I just shook my head and walked away....he never seemed to hear anything I said anyway. When I cooled down, I sat down with him and explained how I felt, that if anything got done around the house or with the children it was all up to me. After learning how to do all the plumbing, electrical and up keep a house requires, while raising three children and working full time; I decided, if I am living like a single parent I may as well be one. So, I raised the children the best I could on my own, without any child support or help from the government...it wasn't any harder than trying to do it with a husband who couldn't be a father. I suggest you read the book "Total Woman" it is an old one, but sure helped me, then the book Boundaries". Good luck, I wish you the best with whatever it takes to make it work.

Helen - posted on 08/17/2009

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i am also a maried single parent - my husband would love to help but cant and feels very guilty about this . he works 7 days a week from 5 am until 8 pm as he owns his own business. He has only had 1 day off since my little one was born and even has to work most of christmas day. I work full time as a teacher so have to bring lots of work home with me too. I envy those of you that get to stay at home as i have had to work since he was 10 weeks old. i am just glad i have a good man who loves spending time with his son - am just very sad that he doesn't get to.

Lori - posted on 08/17/2009

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I am there too. I have three daughters, 9, 6, and 2. When my youngest was 7 weeks old my husband was hospitalized and did not come home for almost 6 months. We are now adjusting to a new lifestyle. Due to his chronic illness I am doing it all. Due to the depression from the illness, and the meds he takes, he is not always easy to deal with. But I keep reminding myself he did not ask for this. I cannot control his feelings, but can control my reaction and so find myself walking on eggshells most of the time. I miss the old days and am trying to adapt to the new ones. But it is exausting. Our life is on hold insome ways, but we are starting to find our feet again in others. I look forward to the day where he feels happy and confident in his new life and then we will hopefully be back on track. I try to think of the blessings I do have and that I will somehow get through it all.

Pia - posted on 08/17/2009

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the best thing is to sit down and have a good converastion with ur hubby; thats what i did when my son was 4 months old; i go out on fri, he goes out on sat, like that none of us feels left out; when he comes home he wants to spend all the time with his son, but he doesnt want to clean or help around- i find it weird cause before we had the baby we used to share; all in all, everything can be solved with a discussion or even better give him he silent treatment

have a few friends in the same situation as you and it seems some mens think this is a women job:((( they just need to be pulled out of this ; one morning just pretend ur feeling really bad, lie in bed and get him to do everything.he will entually do it

i really feel for all the moms ot there going throu this cause it can be frustrating, lonley and is a shame some mens cant take on the responsabilities of being a dad....

Nicole - posted on 08/17/2009

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That is exactly what is happening at my house my boyfriend is also unemployed. I have a 10 week old, my boyfriend has only changed 2 daipers and that's it, no baths. I'm breastfeeding so he can't really help there, but some house chores or grocery shopping would be a big help.

Helen - posted on 08/17/2009

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me too i feel like that, my partner is a farmer and always very busy and if i ask him to do anything infront of his family i am asking too much, right now we are on school holidays but i was back at work as a part time teacher when my last baby was just 3 months old but i was expected to be able to do my lesson planning with a baby crying on my lap.Like Erin when he is around and his family aren't he does take his son a bit but i do 90% of the work

Erin - posted on 08/16/2009

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hi, my husband works 15 on 6 off, when he is on he is on call. sometimes he is around for his full set, other times he leaves in the morning on his 1st day and i don't see him for 2 weeks, and then there are times when he's worked all night and is sleeping all day. when that happens he usually will put on a movie and let the kids cuddle while he sleeps.because of his schedule i quite often feel like he is just visiting when he is here, like the glorified uncle who drops in, spoils the kids and gets them all riled up, then leaves. when he is on days off he either goes and hangs out with his friends, or expects me to drop everything to do what he wants. if i do tell him i'd like a break, and ask him to take the kids and let the baby and me stay home i'm being "lazy" then he reminds me that i wanted 3 kids and i wanted to be a SAHM. if i am a SAHM, with little to know help, i consider it my job, he get 6 days of out of every 3 weeks, all i ever ask is for 1 of those dayes out of every 6 weeks. i shouldn't complain to much though, when he is around he is more then willing to give baths, read stories and change diapers, i just wish he was around more

Letitia - posted on 08/16/2009

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i know how u feel my partner was out of work and just sat on the pc playing game all day and all night sleeping in every morning if i said anything it would end in a fight now his working he comes home from work and jumps on the pc and still plays his games i have put my foot down and told him to act like a dad or else and sometimes it works sometimes his ace and spends heaps of time playing with the kids i have to cry to b heard by him so maybe try that cry to him and tell him u need help or u might fall in a heap its so hard but hang in there he should come around

Adrienne - posted on 08/16/2009

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Greetings, empowered Moms! This question about feeling like a single parent caught my eye just as I was about to log off. A prayer-partner of mine calls it, "married-single parents". The concept of raising your kids on your own while married is no longer exclusive to wives of doctors, lawyers, cops, & firefighters. It's any husband/wife who has a spouse that's not home more than 90% of the time. When they're is home, they're still not there! I don't complain, like I use to, about my husband working multiple jobs, going to school, & leads in church ministries. Our son is autistic & he requires order & structure. When dad is home, it's disrupting. Our son enjoys it, but it sets him off when dad leaves. Though he's mildly autistic, he still has his moments. It's difficult to watch him have his occasional fits. Now that he's 4, he's a lot stronger, taller, & can do some damage. So, YES! I do feel like that now that I'm staying at home.

Amanda - posted on 08/16/2009

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My husband is an Iron worker and works long hours outside in the sun, carrying heavy shit all day long. By the time he gets home he is far too tired to do anything, but drink beer. I rarely get him to help my two year old at all and when he does he never knows how to handle her so she winds up throwing a tantrum and he winds up spanking her and sending her to time out! He is a young guy (though I am a younger girl), 24, so I just assume that guys don't know how to act around young children. How old is your husband? My husband also doesn't seem to understand how tired and worn out my body is and how badly I need to get away from our daughter by the end of the day either, but because he is so tired from work he usually showers then passes out or showers, eats and drinks a couple of beers then passes out.


It's quite annoying!

Tamica - posted on 08/16/2009

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I think a lot of women are feeling your pain. Both my husband and I work full-time but I have the sole responsibility of caring for the kids (3 1/2 and 1/2) so I'm working at least two full-time jobs. I often feel like a single parent. It would probably be easier if I was a single parent because a least I wouldn't have clean up behind him, feel disappointed when he's being too lazy to help or deal with his temper tantrums. I feel your pain

Kimberely - posted on 08/16/2009

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I can definantly relate. The worst i find is at night. My baby girl is only 6 weeks so is still waking up 2-3 times a night for feedings and my fiance refuses to wake up with her in the morning so i can have a few extra hours. also when she is really fussy and i cant seem to calm her down he will take her for 2 minutes then give up and set her down somewhere to scream so i have to constantly be there to make sure he doesnt let her cry too long

Jenn - posted on 08/16/2009

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I have a 11yr old, 10 yr old step daughter and 6yrold and 3 yr old~ and i feel like i could do what i am doing with or without him!!!

Tatiana - posted on 08/16/2009

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Kind of, my husband works two jobs and one of them he works 24hrs so I'm by myself with the kids most of the time, and when he's home he just want to sit on is recliner and relax.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/16/2009

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I know thias is not something that will help but I delt with that for 2 years of my sons life and for that reason....He shows him more attention now than he did before!

Topaz - posted on 08/16/2009

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i can relate!!!!!! My husband works nights from 9-6am so when he gets home he wants to sleep.. i give him as much time as i got during the night then i wake him.. he gets very upset with me. we get into fights everyday about it.. he eventually gives in and feeds her and changes her diaper..... 1 time! then he is sitting on the couch while i cook AND clean and tend to our daughter if she starts crying...not that i want to send her back i love her with everything i have, but he is the one who said "im ready for a baby" when i was telling him "im not and you have no idea what your saying" (god decided to make his wishes come true obviously) lol....

Brittni - posted on 08/16/2009

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I relate to wht u are sayin.I have a almst 6mnth old daughter.Ever since she was born ive dne almst everythng.It was really bad at the beginnin,but i put my foot down.I told him i would leave and actually be a SINGLE parent,if he wasnt goin to help mre.Some days are good,but thn others i jst wnt to throw smethng at him.I mean i clean the house,do the clothes,and most the time cook.Hes unemployed but goin to skoool,so some days he thinks he shouldnt hve to come hme and let me get a break.I thnk everyone has these moments.

Tasha - posted on 08/16/2009

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I can relate aswell, my boyfriend hasn't worked in 2months, quit his last job and the many before that. I love him but its very frustrating, Our daughter is 9months old, and into everything, I can't have 10minutes to myself without her but hes here all day too.... It can get very hard, like tonight asking him to help me put things away, he says he doesn't know where to put them.... He should..
Or if I ask him to get up in the mornig, it is usually a fight and i end up getting her anyway. Geez it feels nice to vent!!
If i want to go anywhere I take her with, When i suggest that he do the same.....Suddenly he would rather stay home.... What I did today was went back into the bed after the bum change and bottle, and said Alexis get Daddy... waited until I knew he was awake and went to sleep, I was exausted!!!! GOOD LUCK!

Toni - posted on 08/16/2009

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I relate totally. My daughter is almost eight but my husband never spends time with her. I am always saying that I'm a married single parent. If I knew what to do I would offer advice but I am in the same spot.

Karen - posted on 08/16/2009

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wow, im amazed at how many people can relate to this. i have a 3 yr old and an 8 month old and my partner works but wants his time when he gets home. i use to get really frustrated with him about this but now when i want my time i give him the kids and i leave the room. i think talking to some men is just a waste of breathe. it causes too much tension in the relationship and its hard enough dealing with kids.

DAWN - posted on 08/16/2009

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Tell your husband to get off his butt and get him self a job! you have 2 kids there fore you already work the equivalent of 2.5 full time jobs. there has to be some work he can do, even if it is just delivering news papers or flipping burgers at mcdonalds. OR leave his lazy butt with the kids without giving him a choice and YOU go find yourself a paid job. it will make him realize how hard you work and that maybe he should be a man and help with something.
sorry but dogs like this piss me off. I would kick his butt OUT, your already doing it alone might as well have one less mouth to feed and one less person to pick up after. He is dead weight, cut him loose and watch him sink.

Jessica - posted on 08/16/2009

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I used to feel the same way when my hubby was employed. My hubby used to work nights and he at least got an hour to himself but on the weekends I felt like a single parent just b/c my hubby got forced overtime quite a bit so it was just me to do everything. My husband is unemployed right now and takes care of my son all day and does all the house work except the laundry only b/c I don't trust him touching our clothes. He now realizes what I went through when he worked all the time and is willing to help out more when we both are home

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