does anyone know if a teacher/headteacher can question a 5yr old child without the parent being present?

User - posted on 09/19/2012 ( 107 moms have responded )

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my 5yr old daughter was involved in a incident in the class room and got questioned by the teacher and headteacher on what happened whilst i was not there, can they do that? can they question without me present? i thought i had to be present during the questioning!

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Erna - posted on 09/19/2012

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yes the teachers can ask the children what is going on...HOWEVER...4 to 5 even to 6 at times is fairly normal for children to want to investigate the private part areas...IT IS NORMAL...however it is the way that the ADULTS involved deal with the situation that is important....do not allow the situation to get out of control...this is not an older child abusing or fiddling with a younger child...this is normal one on one inquisitiveness and checking out the other sex....especially at this age....just let them know that this is not the right behaviour and let it go...children could become sexually traumitized if the adults involved blow this out of proportion.

Amy - posted on 09/19/2012

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I'm assuming that they would be able to, if they had to wait for a parent to be there everytime they had to ask the students a question they would never get anything done.

Vicki - posted on 09/19/2012

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In alot of situations they dont have the parent there due to a parent may influence what is being said.

Christine - posted on 09/20/2012

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Hi Katherine

It is ok for them to question. What you can do is leave communication between yourself and your child open. Try to keep a relaxed atmosphere with no judgement when talking about what happened. Make them aware that exploring themselves is ok in the right place as telling them otherwise will give them a complex that will last a lifetime (Believe me). I have written a poem with a drawing challenge that you can read and allow your child to do:



Precious Me by Christine Attard



Your body is your own you know,

It belongs only to you.

You can look at yourself quite freely,

But there are things others should not do.



There may be people around you,

Who may ask to have a peek.

And they know that they're not meant to,

And may tell you not to speak.



Even though this person may be close,

Part of family or friends.

If they ask to see your precious parts,

That moment you must end.



Shout out “NO” that it is not right,

And that they’re making you feel sad.

These people should know better,

And shouldn't make you feel so bad.



Then go tell someone that you trust,

Someone you think can help you.

Who will listen to your problem,

And will stay to see it through.



Then they will help you sort things out,

Making sure the bad things end.

And that you are safe and happy,

And the baddie away will send.



Drawing challenge: Draw a picture of happy you

Kristi - posted on 09/19/2012

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It is a law called in locos parentus (and my spelling may be off) in Latin it translates to in lieu of parents. We as teachers need to make the best decisions we can in the best interest of the individual child and the class. I am a parent of 3 small children and I have been teaching for 15 years, most of the time I remind parents to remember that hearing something from your child is like the old fashion game of telephone. Things get lost in the retelling. Ask, the teacher about her/his perspective on the situation. And in regards to children and "private parts" there was women who earlier stated that it was normal and natural and not to make a big deal about it in regards to shame and embarrassment. Investigate first. And yes, you had better believe I speak with students without parents present. How can I discover information without asking questions?

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Sage_152 - posted on 02/26/2014

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From Canada.... Hi. First off there is a difference between questioning a little kid and interrogating them like a suspect.Second, the Ministry reminds me of Nazi Germany. Their Power is Absolute and they have it all. Being a single mother of autistic twins I've had them called many times.It seems to me that the kids that should be left in the homes and given extra Help are instead stolen from right under parents noses and all they can do is watch. The ones that are hurting kids won't get any protection or help, safety, nothing.I'm so sorry You and Your Family are going through this. Let them Know that You LOVE Your child and You will do whatever it takes to keep her Safe from anyone that could be hurting her. Suggest ideas, they like that, don't forget to guilt them of their great track record with giving kids to abusive adoptive families. That is a sore point. Family is Important to a small child. Talk to an advocate, not Only for children, but also for You. These Laws are Barbaric and NEED to be Changed. Petition local Gov't. Good luck

Cathy - posted on 10/08/2012

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Arelene....Social workers like to question kids on their own so they cannot be coached or feel they cannot answer because you are there. Very often there will be a family police worker also present. This happen to me when my daughter told us about one of her friends said something, though i found it very traumatic my daughter was fine.they are trained to interview kids This is in the UK

Bobbie - posted on 10/07/2012

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@Arlene,

I am not sure if you meant to post this request for help in the area meant to answer the questions. The deal with social workers is they are there to protect the child. They are called into situations where the school has been notified through the acts or words of the child that they may be at risk. They are not messy with her head. They need to get answers from her without any prompting from those at home that may be hurting her. This could be a Godsend to your daughter and you by bringing to light things that you didn't know.

ARLENE - posted on 10/07/2012

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HI I NEED HELP MY DAUGTER IS FOUR YES OLD AND SAID SOMETHING TO A TECHER AND SHE GOT SOCAIL WORK INVOLD THEY WANT TO SPECK TO HER ABOUT IT ON HER OWN ITS NOT ABOUT ME OR HER DAD THEY WONT TELL US THEY WONT LET US BE THERE WHEN THEY DO AT SCHOOL THEY MESS WITH HER HEAD THEY SAID WEE NOT GOT ANY LEGIL RIGHTS TO BE THERE DONT NO WHAT TO DO SOCAIL WORK CANT DO THERE JODS RIGHT

User - posted on 10/01/2012

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Another interesting way to look at this...One year my husband's class size was 35, and 13 were bonafide diagnosed with ADHD, 9 of those had parents who refused to treat them. Those parents did NOT want to be continually called about their children acting out, because they always blamed the victim, or the teacher. Sometimes it's not a win win situation. They wanted to be present if discipline was enacted, which was usually impossible right at the moment when you have to remove the child from the classroom, so they were always mad that they weren't immediately called and given the authority to deal with their kids themselves. But obviously, they weren't dealing with their kids.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/01/2012

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Michelle Cook - posted on 09/23/2012

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no one can question your child under the age of 18 without your presence in any state.



Now, just what planet are you living on, my dear? Here is Wyoming (And in Colorado, Nebraska, Idaho, Montana...) teachers/principals/headmasters most definitely DO NOT need to have a parent present when questioning a child about an event that happens on school grounds.



So, please cite your sources for stating what you did above!

Priscilla - posted on 10/01/2012

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It really does depend on the circumstances. If the question is just for general curiousity, then no, but if the teacher is trying to gain knowledge regarding the health and welfare of the child, then yes, teachers are well within their rights.

Theresa - posted on 10/01/2012

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My 12 year old was touched inappropirately by an older boy and when questioned by the counselor and detective the parents are NOT allowed in the room! Parents may influence the child's answers - either positively or negatively or make the child more nervous about the situation.

Lisa - posted on 09/30/2012

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@Tami Copley - Miranda applies to criminal situations, as the original poster was talking about the child being questioned by a teacher and headteacher it wouldn't apply. Unlike the police questioning a suspect or arresting someone they are not required to issue a Miranda warning.

Melinda - posted on 09/30/2012

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It really depends on the district. I think st Vrain valley can because they sometimes do. Most of the time though, a parent will be involved.

Tami - posted on 09/30/2012

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The supreme court recently heard or will shortly hear a case in which a male dcfs agent and male cop isolated an 8-10 year old girl from the rest of her class, in a room alone, intimidating her and refusing to let her return to class until she "admitted" that her father had abused her. In other words, they will do whatever it takes to get a conviction, including manipulating children in isolation from parents. I don't know how the supreme court found in this case, whether they found there was wrong doing or not. But I find this case disturbing in the extreme.

Liz - posted on 09/30/2012

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I would say yes. I myself am a teacher and when things happen, I need to document it right away. Obviously if it was an extremely serious or sensitive issue, I'd probably get help from the principal or counselor. But most things that happen are far less serious than they get made by the time kids get home. I do usually call or email though to let the parents know what's going on.

Tami - posted on 09/30/2012

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look up reverse miranda. keeps anyone from being able to do it. It's a form you fill out and submit at the office.

Elizabeth - posted on 09/30/2012

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I was a school psychologist at a preschool. Children at age 4 are suggestible, sometimes have speech problem, and are afraid of getting in trouble. Of all the children I have spoken two, and I have been a psychologist for over 10 years only 2 were reported to childrens services. Suppose there was a mark. We usually call the parents? How did the child get the burn. I was ironig and she is so hyperactive that she ran into me while I was ironing. The child has been in the school for awhile and we know how active the child is and she's happy and there are no other incidents. The story matches the child, the mark, and situation. If suddenly we have a child who is afraid to enter the bathroom. 4 year olds do have words for sex. Most times the parent doesn't know. I was similar to most children. I was raped at 8 and my mother found out from a parent of another child when i was 9. They know its wrong and theyare afraid they'll be spanked often. Many times a new babysitter, older sibling's friend, bus driver, will have engaged in the activity. The parent is totally unaware. We have to be the ones to say that the child was afraid to enter the bathroom and cried pointing to her private area. Rarely and its the older childer who is extremely emotionally disturbed who makes up stories about step father touching them when their bruised bc they fell off their bike. All social workers and psychologist will tell you spanking is legal unless you leave marks. When I've done counseling I've hand many parents who use spanking with toddlers.

User - posted on 09/30/2012

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It came to me yesterday, out of nowhere, I remember being 5 or 6, and I smelled something funny coming from the kid I was playing with in my yard. I remember looking down his pants and finding doo doo. Mom spanked me for that, but I was just curious. I guess it depends on the ages of the kids involved. Were it a much older child, I'd be upset, but our experiences with these things are that the person who instigated the problem always has his/her parents called to report the incident, unless you are much older and the authorities have to be notified. Most teachers I've known have always called the child who was picked on, to let them know what happened, and what action was taken. Sometimes it's just a goofball like I was.

Ashley - posted on 09/29/2012

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Since it was about touching privates then they dont want you to be there for questions because the child might lie for fear of getting in trouble by the parent. They have every right and if the parent gets mad about it they will only have more questions.

Deb - posted on 09/29/2012

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Dear mom that wasn't there...well I know most teachers today do have way too many patents being overly pertecting. Don't get me wrong there are some situations when you may be called in on an incident at school...I think at that age kids need to start knowing when they need to be honest..respect for their elders has fallen by the way side. A teacher should not take advantage of there authority but, we need to let them do their jobs. Teaching a 5 year old to be honest and responsible is part of there job at this age. Trust in the school for now...but maybe get the details on the incident. I know my child was influenced so much by his preschool teacher he thanked her when he received an award at 17. I know he was a little stinker at pre school age...kids act out kids need limits...no isn't a 4 letter word. Please don't let a 5 year old over ride an adult's decision.

CORINNE - posted on 09/29/2012

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OK, so who did the touching?

Your daughter or someone else to her?

It all makes a difference to the question at hand.

IF she did the touching you NEED to find out why, at five years old it could be

innocent, OR it could mean much, much more.

EXAMPLE:

If she is suddenly touching her private parts or rubbing herself or is acting strange and pulling away when you touch her ANYWHERE, arm, head ANYTHING!

MOST LIKELY SHE IS THE VICTIM OF A MOLESTING.

HOWEVER, you need to get to the bottom and find out who and what happened.

IF someone was touching her in class.

It could just be innocent as well, curious on the child's part.

BUT THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT NEED TO BE LOOKED INTO.

BEHAVIOR CHANGES PLAY A BIG PART IN SEXUAL ABUSE CASES.

Always, know your child and how they react to situations, so you CAN notice a subtle change.



A child may or may not tell you they were touched.

But it is a game changer in their lives!

It doesn't go away and can be recalled (if the child is old enough to remember....3 yrs and up is when memories are formed) vividly.



I Hope and Pray it was just innocent curiosity on these kids part.

NOW A DAYS, Teachers take things to the extreme.

Like holding hands and a hug or a kiss at young ages does not mean anything more than friendship and love on the most pure and simple friendship basis.



Keep us posted since you have asked this it seems a lot of us have come here to help and we are hoping for a good out come on all affront's.



GOOD LUCK,

CORINNE BALANTE

CORINNE - posted on 09/29/2012

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Yes, I did cut his hair when HE asked me to!

When HE was ready to move OUT of that phase in his life!

I was sorry to see it go!

Never liked really long hair on most guys, but my son IS one who has beautiful hair and took great care in keeping it clean and well kempt!



Thanks for asking!

CORINNE BALANTE

Summyr - posted on 09/29/2012

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Being a head teacher myself in the past - NO, the questioning MUST be done.. honestly - what did you expect the teacher to do?.. just not say anything for _x_ amount of time until you got there.. and would you have dropped everything to get there?... and would the kids even remember what you guys (you, the teacher, the parents, and the children) all were talking about... imagine how embarrassing/scary that would be! - for the kids of course. As a mother I feel your hesitation/embarrassment/protectiveness for your child but this stuff and new other stuff is going to come up and we all as mothers have to take a deep breath and remember this isn't the worlds first go around.. our children arguably aren't doing things so incredible that teachers aren't equipped to handle... or our children... Life happens and there are a lot of great answers so I am just reiterating what has already been said but don't fret - take a breath and if you think it was intrusive or bully style of questioning bring it up to the principle/head director... and of course talk to the teacher about what your comfortable with and see if you can come up with something together... keep in mind this person/s is with your child all day so I urge you not to approach the situation hastily/or angrily - your nasty behavior could negatively effect your child - consciously or unconsciously...just saying - it sucks but it happens.. I mean even with ass kissers it does have an effect - remember every action causes a reaction.... whatever that may be.

Bobbie - posted on 09/28/2012

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@Pamela, just have to ask. Did you cut your sons hair when he asked you to? :)

CORINNE - posted on 09/27/2012

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Pamela,

Expect the HATE mail to start pouring in!!!

I love it!

You are right to a degree, children should Respect the Teachers.

However, some teachers and it sounds like YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM, who attack and berate and act like they are in the same grade as the student and attack them for being Popular, Good Looking, Funny (Naturally), and an Honor Student...but also Male and have Long hair!

My youngest son Mason, has been an Honor Roll Student since Kindergarten and all three years in the Middle School they NEVER let him come to the AWARDS because HE DOES NOT FIT THE NERD MOLD!

They actually would tell me 'HE DID NOT MAKE HONOR ROLL' and then I'd get his report card and there in black and white he did again make it!

I am a hair dresser by trade so his hair (beautiful long as he has American Indian in his genetics from his biological father) was long. A PHASE.

At Parent Teacher Conferences that is ALL the teachers talked about, his needing a hair cut and How he is 'NATURALLY FUNNY AND QUIPPY' and how one teacher could NOT gain control of her class if he said something funny.

I ASKED "Was he trying to be funny or Disrespectful?'

THE TEACHER-"WELL NO, HE DOES NOT EVEN REALIZE HE IS BEING FUNNY, HE IS JUST HIMSELF, MR. COOL! AND NOW I SEE WHERE HE GETS IT FROM!"

Wow, sounds like you had a really shitty life in Middle School teacher and now every class is paying for YOUR lack of Friends, Coolness, or Good Grades.

So sorry for you.

SHOULDN'T WE BE TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE IS AN HONOR STUDENT AND HIS GOAL IS VALEDICTORIAN?

If you don't make an issue of the hair, it will go away sooner rather than later.

And before High School this year 9th grade he asked me to cut it all off! A #2 Fade!

But we will see what happens, we still have 4 yrs. SO FAR AN HONOR STUDENT AGAIN!

So proud of him. There is NO EFFORT on his part to do this and as he told me when I found a book with all his awards back in Second Grade. As I worked full time.

Why didn't you tell me you were getting these awards MY SON SAID" I'M NOT DOING IT FOR YOU! I'M DOING IT FOR ME AND MY FUTURE! I DON'T NEED TO BE ACKNOWLEDGED!"

ok then!

I would have taken off to be at the awards ceremonies! I was the manager I could do that!

He still does not care if he is acknowledged and tells me to "Let it go mom!" But I don't think it is right that do NOT reward GOOD BEHAVIOR! MAYBE BECAUSE HE IS POPULAR, MORE PEOPLE WOULD TRY TO DO BETTER. THEY DO NOT NOW BECAUSE THEY THINK IT IS UN-COOL OR GEEKY!!



Just thought I'd give you another side of this outlook.



ENJOY YOUR RETIREMENT

CORINNE BALANTE

Pamela - posted on 09/27/2012

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Of course a teacher/head teacher has the right to ask a child what happened in any incident that occurs on school grounds, as well as a Vice Principal, Principal and Counselor.



Your confusion is where the police or law enforcement is concerned. THEY cannot question a minor without the parent(s) present.



Your question reminds me of why I retired from teaching this year. Teachers are being put in impossible positions by parents who favor their children over the authority of a trained adult teacher. The school system in America reeks with parents who defend their children against teachers. It is a sick and sorry situation. I walked away from it this year and that is one of the reasons why. Parents should be willing to give their child to the teacher (who is a TRAINED adult) and give that person authority while the child is in their care.



I had teachers whom I disliked in school, but I was taught to give them respect and to follow their disciplines as required. These days parents like you make teaching a nearly impossible task.



Stop freaking out about nothing, PLEASE! Talk to your child's teacher and see how you can HELP in the classroom if you are a truly concerned parent. Spending a day or even 2 to 3 hours in a classroom as a volunteer helper once or twice a week will help you see what it takes to handle 25 or more children (not your own) all at the same time. Then perhaps you can learn to APPRECIATE a teacher's job.

User - posted on 09/27/2012

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My husband has been a public school teacher for decades, and with many situations, he immediately calls the parents, as well as the parents of said offender. With other situations, let's say a child who has a long history of creating trouble and lying, he might chose a different tactic and may have the school nurse, or another employee present while he talks to the child. Because in those cases the Principal is going to be involved in discipline. I don't mean corporal. I mean the child spending a number of days doing work in his office, etc., after the parents have been called. Lots of times there are meetings for parents of bullies that include the Principal, VP, school nurse, counselor, and psychologist, and there is much work done with families of such children. I'm not leaving out a child who's been hit, hurt, picked on, etc. Those children and their parents are called if it's more than one occasion. So let's don't throw out the baby with the bath water. I'm a huge proponent of home schooling, but I know how much work my husband does with and for abused children and abusers, and I've got notebooks chalk full of prior students who have sent us college graduation invitations, marriage invitations, and three NFL players right now. Public school teachers go through hell. One year we had 35 students in hub's classroom, and 13 of them were bona fide ADHD. And this was when he was trying to individualize his math program. And then we got hit with No Child Left Behind, which forces teachers to test all their students, those who cannot speak decent English, those with learning disabilities, along with the others, and when their class doesn't come through like the gifted and talented, the teacher is penalized. Sometimes with Title 1 schools, the whole school is penalized. So, instead of individualizing a math and english program, my husband spends his time teaching to the test, and giving a plethora of tests that make no sense to most of his students, since right now, 9 of them are refugees, PTSD, poor english skills, and fighting for their lives. How can he help? Get rid of this crap the federal government has shoved down my red state's throat. That's what he got two Master's Degrees for. Because back then, he loved his job. Now, we're counting the years and taking high blood pressure meds.

CORINNE - posted on 09/27/2012

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If an incident happened at school, they can ask.

If they want to know anything, they can ask....legal or illegal!

You need to train your child to NEVER KEEP SECRETS FROM YOU!

When my 25 yr old son was in Kindergarten they brought these two older women

into class. THESE TWO WOMEN TOLD THE KIDS......NOT TO TELL MOM AND DAD!

Gave each child a copy of a drawing of a child being hugged by an adult woman and it had a phone number at the top.

The kids were told, IF YOUR MOM OR DAD SPANK YOU OR HIT YOU TO CALL THIS NUMBER.



I was shocked to say the least.

My father was a Policeman when I was growing up so I know a lot about the rights of people.

THIS IS LEGAL.

However, NOT ethically right!

They DRILLED the kids about what mom and dad do when you are bad.

My son came home and because HE was trained by me. Handed me this copy and said..."They told us NOT to tell you and keep this page hidden and if you hit me I'm to call them!"

I sat him down and got all the details and then told him their agenda and what would happen if you called for a spanking. Which I only had to spank each child once in their lives! My son was 13 yrs old when he got his for LYING to me! A BIG NO, NO IN MY HOUSE!

We don't Lie, Cheat or Steal!

So spanking was not an issue at 5 yrs old. But I showed him what happens to children taken away from their families wrongly or rightly. Usually in foster homes their treatment is worse than at home. I think I said something to the teacher about how awful it is to teach children to lie or keep secrets from parents, and most likely I said something to the Principal too. I also, let other parents know what was going on. In the 1990's they were big on NOT SPANKING and TAKING KIDS AWAY! Only to find out years later, IF kids don't RESPECT THE PARENTS, THEY DON'T RESPECT THE POLICE EITHER. BY THE LATE 1990's the Police FOUGHT TO GET THE RIGHTS OF PARENTS TO SPANK THEIR KIDS!



My youngest son now 15, was in Kindergarten at a Catholic school because they were the only ones in the community who had an after school program and I worked and my boyfriend NOW HUSBAND, was Catholic and we were looking to marry in the church so I figured why not. Well the second to last day of school, I gave my son his YEARLY REQUESTED MOHAWK. I am a Hair Stylist by trade. Well he went to school and after I left they sent him to the office and TRIED TO BRAIN WASH HIM INTO NOT LIKING THAT HAIR CUT! So from 9 am to 2pm he was IN THE OFFICE CRYING!!! I got a call at about 1:45 pm to pick him up.

I went to the school and no one would tell me where he was. I finally found him in the office!

He came out and I could tell by looking at him he was crying all day! His face was swollen and he was hysterical! I DEMANDED to see the Principal whom I Yelled at In the Hallway!

FOR LOCKING MY CHILD UP AND BRAIN WASHING HIM.

I WAS LUCKY THIS WAS NOT THE FIRST YEAR HE HAD BEGGED FOR THIS HAIR CUT!!! IT WAS A SUMMER STANDARD FOR HIM FOR A COUPLE YEARS IN A ROW!

IT TOOK ABOUT A MONTH TO UN-BRAIN WASH MY SON TO THINK FOR HIMSELF AGAIN. BUT I LET THAT LADY HAVE IT BOTH BARRELS....TOLD HER HOW DIFFERENT JESUS WAS AND HOW DARE SHE NOT CALL ME AT 9:05 AM!!!



Well needless to say, he never went to that school again. And his Teacher Stole the HEAD ROOM MOTHER BOUQUET OF FLOWERS that was supposed to go to me for my service all year. I found out from another mother when she asked why I did not make the luncheon and did I get my flowers? I WAS NEVER INVITED!!! I knew nothing about it!



So here are just two examples of having things happen to your children when you are NOT present. TEACH THEM WELL. KEEP THEIR GUARD UP! START EARLY!



Good Luck, I hope this helps you.

CORINNE BALANTE

User - posted on 09/26/2012

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That is a tough one...I absolutely believe that you should have been notified of the incident ASAP, but as far as the questioning, sometimes the more people present, the more intimidating things become for the child. The other issue is that if there is another student involved, that student's identity needs to be protected just as much as your child's identity needs to be protected.

Diane - posted on 09/26/2012

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The only time they can incarcerate or get the on duty police officer involved in my state is if it is a situation that has happened before. Now, if we are talking teens, and there has been something as horrible as rape, that's a different story. My daughter was bullied in 7th grade by 9th grade boys. I found out from two other mothers. My daughter did not want to cause me any more grief at the time, since I was grieving during that time. When I found out, I immediately called the Principal, and it was taken care of the next day. He was allowed to talk with her, and I was not bothered by that. Perhaps I should have been, I don't know. But the situation can in many cases be rectified immediately, without setting up an appointment that might take a week or so, and leaves the teacher in limbo, if that were needed in order to stop the situation. I'd say, after reading these posts, and yours, make an appt. with the teacher every so often just to keep the lines of communication open, and make yourself available to any problem solving.

Maureen - posted on 09/26/2012

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the parent has to be there if its to do with one student touching another in private areas hope everything gets sorted out x

Louise - posted on 09/25/2012

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Goodness me, what a range of responses! Thank you for the poem - I am a teacher and that will be a really useful way in when I do the child protection talk with my 9 yr olds. But there is a world of difference between sexual curiosity of 5 yr olds and sexual behaviour of adults or older children. Sexual curiosity is normal in young children: I remember doing the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" thing with a little boy who only had a brother and wanted to know what girls looked like when I was in reception class. He wasn't a pervert or a paedophile and I didn't end up traumatised. As it happens, in our case I don't think the teacher knew (or maybe she did but decided to ignore it rather than make an issue of it). If my mum had been there I would have known that this was "serious" and "bad/naughty" and that might have permanently affected my view of my body and private parts. HOWEVER, once children are starting puberty this is quite different. Children need to know that they have rights over their bodies and who sees them/ touches them as they get older. Sexual curiosity is then being hormonally driven and children are becoming sexually aware. We talk about who it is ok to be naked with (and when) and who we should not, and that it is normal to gradually want more privacy. Children of 8+ are most vulnerable to sexual abuse so it is important to start to gently discuss this with them. (We inform the parents before we begin this).

Carol - posted on 09/25/2012

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Why not? If you entrust them to teach your child you should be able to trust them with discipline. As I look at it, they are raising my child with them. If I don't like their methods, I work to change the situation.

Karen - posted on 09/25/2012

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A teacher's duty is to care for children as well as educate them. It sounds like the teacher was doing his/or her job and taking care of things. I would be extremely concerned if a teacher didn't in fact try to find out more about the troublesome situation by questioning those involved. I'm interested in your reaction towards this?

Kappy - posted on 09/25/2012

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I think you are remembering the rules when a kid is arrested. It's not the same in a school. It only makes sense that a teacher or a principal be able to ask any children who were present what happened when there is an incident. Often, schools have video cameras and that helps quite a bit too, as children tend to forget what happened in the emotions of the moment.

Heather - posted on 09/25/2012

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It is her teacher!!! She wasn't in court!! Why shouldn't she be able to question her, This is the adult you leave your child with every day, teachers need to be in charge and you need to trust them to handle that responsibility as the adult in charge- if you can't then you need to find a different school. Or if you just want to be involved in every aspect of anything said or done to your child then you need to home school!!!!

Diane - posted on 09/25/2012

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You did not specify what the questioning was about. Bullying? They absolutely have the right to question and get to the bottom of incident. If it's not that, then I don't know what you are talking about. It's not a court of law. If the teacher needs to take action in a situation, he/she needs to get to the bottom of it. I guess I don't know what you are so freaked out about. They'd never get a darn thing done if they sat on their hands and didn't get to the bottom of said situations. Have you spoken to the teacher? Would that not be a better avenue to take than ask a bunch of us what we thought, since you didn't tell us what happened?

Toni - posted on 09/25/2012

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Yes they can. You are thinking about if she was at the police station. They need to get the answers so the can follow protocol and give you the correct answers as well.

Giselle - posted on 09/25/2012

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i m a teacher myself, there are ways how to question a 5yr old. a teacher has to do it in a way that the child will say the truth without fear. I feel that once a child is allowed to be in the hands pf others then parents have to be ready that a teacher takes role of investigator, so put. i m sure she is trained to do this diplomatically, but if you aint happy then you have right to speak to the teacher yrself. gd luck madam

Nisa - posted on 09/25/2012

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Yes they can do that becuz it happened in the class room as long its nt nothing dealing wit da law or any other bad things bt classroom is ok shouldnt b nuthin 2 bad

HAROLD - posted on 09/25/2012

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Teachers are "mandatory reporters" which means if ANYTHING happens that might suggest that there may have been abuse or neglect, they first look into it more carefully, and if there is a reasonable suspicion, then they MUST report to the authorities. They don't include the parent because the parent may be the perpetrator and intimidate the child, or the parent may have failed to protect the child from some danger.



Be calm and open, show them you have nothing to hide. This isn't about your rights, it's about the safety of children.

Glenda - posted on 09/25/2012

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Everyone I know that when you are just 5, 6 and maybe even 7 your getting to know your body but please talk to your children and ask them in so many words that a child can understand if they have been touched like that by someone eles. I have been there and its scary to hear the words "yes mommy". So I beg of you, it may be they are just exploring their bodys or it a may be a much bigger problem.

Melodie - posted on 09/24/2012

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Sometimes the teacher needs information right away. Five year olds tend to forget quickly. As long as she was treated with respect and did not feel threatened, it shouldn't be an issue.

Heather - posted on 09/24/2012

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I feel you wern't there at the time and that is why we rely on other peers to teach good lessons to our children. if the adult teacher felt that they needed to discuss something with the child to better their future well being and behavior then I think it is totally acceptable! I feel the child should always be listening to whomever is in charge and that can't always be the parent. Another authority figure (be it another parent or teacher) needs to step in and lay down some rules if there is no parent there to do it themself.

Stacey - posted on 09/24/2012

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Of course they can! You were not there when the incident occured, and as the authority in the classroom at that time, they must find out the truth about what occured with the children involved.The teacher is responsible for all the children in that classroom, not just yours. Be a parent and allow the teacher to do her job. A conference will occur, if necessary if one of the student(s) were injured! But, to involve you in the process is not necessary nor required!



Signed: A former Early Childhood Education teacher/parent

Ashley - posted on 09/24/2012

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Ya they can talk to your child without you there. If it happened in the class or school they can talk and question your child all they want. If it were something SERIOUS then no.

Dottie - posted on 09/24/2012

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I believe the answer is yes they can. If there was an actual crime that occured the parents would have to be there for questioning but if it was just an altercation between students, no they do not have to have you present but give you notice what happened and that they did have to question the children involved.

Amber - posted on 09/23/2012

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Yes, they can talk to your child about a situation that may have taken place. Especially with a child that young, if something isn't talked about or discussed when it happens it may never be resolved. As a parent with a 4 almost 5 yr old, I wouldn't question whether or not it was ok for the teacher to talk to my child if something like that happened. However, I would expect to receive a phone call asap after the incident.

Chelsea - posted on 09/23/2012

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I don't think a parent is required to be present during day to day questioning of primary school kids, however- of this was a serious matter they should of contacted you immediately to ask you to be Present especially if the complaints are frequent.

I would call them and tell them that they are not to question your child on this matter unless you are present. She must of felt embarrassed and being questioned without your support on such a difficult subject especially by intimidating adults. You should probably sit down and talk to her openly about it all so she doesn't develop an unhealthy attitude towards this type of thing.

Keri - posted on 09/23/2012

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What exactly does "question" mean? Like in the interrogation room on Law and Order? Of course the teacher is going to question a student about what happened if they did not see it firsthand.

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