Does/did anyone else have a baby that is/was not loving?

Sarah - posted on 02/07/2010

it might just be a phase. my cousin's baby did that for a while. he only wanted to be in his swing for about a month, but now he's super cuddley. hang in there, it could change :-)

Tamra - posted on 02/07/2010

The post above from Kristy just proves my point. If affection doesn't come naturally you have to actually teach a child how to show it and when. Talk about it openly. Talk about when it is appropriate. And make sure what you are saying is age appropriate. A person that is good with showing affection at the right times will have an easier time later in life. So again, teach your daughter in small steps how and when to be affectionate. I absolutely love my son's hugs now but it took me 2 years to get to this point. Good luck.

Kristy - posted on 02/07/2010

Hi i cant relate to this i manner of my child but i can offer something. My sister was like this from day one, she wouldnt even be held to be fed her bottle she had to be prop fed. This to got my mum really down over it as my brother before her was a mummys boy. You need to just keep reasuring her that you are there no mater if she needs you or not, dont try and force affection. If she continues to be like this past say age 3\4 i would then become concerned. Unfortunately my sister had a lot of mental issues, and no seeks affection in all the wrong places. One of her daughters was also not massively snuggly, but as she got older she got so free with affection you had to be really careful as she would try and hug strangers in shopping centres. Its all a hit and miss situation but it is behaviour to watch at later years. Good luck and just keep close to her

Tamra - posted on 02/07/2010

My son wasn't very touchy either. I realized this was probably inherited from his father who also has difficulty with showing affection. My husband says the sensation of hugging made him feel squirmy as a child. What I decided is that it wouldn't hurt to actually teach him about showing affection. Now he is 3 and he will actually come up and hug me. I started small, saying things like "I like when you touch my hand" and offered him praise for sitting next to me. We then built up from there.

Dawn - posted on 02/06/2010

Your 11 month old may be over stimulated easily I had a nephew that was that way and he eventually out grew it.

Lydia - posted on 02/06/2010

*Not being a cuddler does not mean she is rejecting you or that she wont receive love*



My daughter has never liked being cuddled much...she literally pushes herself away from you. It can feel a bit harsh when you really want to give her a cuddle and she just fights you and cries until you leave her alone but for me its nothing more than a symptom of a highly independant child.

On the bright side I have never had to spend my nights rocking her to sleep which meant more sleep for me and when she does need comforting she still wants her mummy most of the time. I have known a few babies who were also like this and they all love their families to pieces they just werent cuddly babies.

Michelle - posted on 02/06/2010

My daughter is 13 months and she won't even let us hold her hand! She likes to cuddle on her own terms, but would much rather be off getting into everything she's not suppose to! I'm sure your little one will come around, right now she's just learning about this big world! There are probably little things that she does to show her love that you may not be picking up on yet, just give it time and enjoy playing with her. Good luck!

Erin - posted on 02/06/2010

People show affection in different ways. Just because your 11 month old doesn't hug you now doesn't mean she won't later... She's still little, and wants to explore her ever-growing world and probably doesn't want to feel "restrained" or "held back" from her curiosity. If after a while, you feel it's a problem, talk to your pediatrician to make sure it's not an emotional development issue, though I'm sure she's just fine. Good luck.

Rebecca - posted on 02/06/2010

My son is the same way he's 2.5yrs old. He was really sick for 2 weeks and he was alll cuddles. I love when he's sick:) Not really but you know what i mean. He stopped liking being held and getting hugs around 1yr old. He did the same thing as your daughter. He gives hugs and kisses now and is becoming a little man:) She'll come around once she's done exploring everything there is. Have faith mom.

Melissa - posted on 02/06/2010

Hi Karly, my 1st born was not a cuddler - he was really active even as a newborn (started rolling at 10 weeks old) and he would never sit still for any affection and cuddles, the only time I could hold him for ages in my arms is if he was sleeping and I would do this just to hold him for abit lol - he is now 4yrs old and ive noticed the older he is getting the more cuddles and affecton he is wanting so it may not always be this way for you - I believe there is nothing wrong with you or your child they may even grow out of it. My 2nd born on the other hand will stay in my arms all day if he could loves cuddles (and I love it back) so goes to show every child is so different!

Sarah - posted on 02/06/2010

Some kids will just go through a phase of independence around that age. Some just aren't big cuddlers. Still, to me, it sounds like you are a little concerned about her behavior. If you feel in your "gut" that something is just not quite right, this could also be a symptom of a sensory processing disorder. Here is a link to a site that lists other symptoms in infants for some of these disorders. Although there is no cure, it is helpful to understand why kids may react the way they do.
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.c...

Debbie - posted on 02/06/2010

My child was not and still is not a cuddler but will show her affection and love in other ways. I just had to get used to it. Every child/person is different and its ok. It was just hard for me cause I am a big hugger.

Cindy - posted on 02/05/2010

My first child, who is now 4, was a total cuddle bug. So when my second child was born boy was I in for a surprise! He had colic for the first 5 months, things settled down a little after that but he went straight to squirming and pushing away from me. He cannot sit still for very long, unless he is sleeping. He also did not sleep through the night well until between 13 and 14 months of age, and is a very light sleeper. It has been challenging because I loved all the cuddling that went along with my first child and my second just didn't want any part of that. He is now almost 15 months old and just starting to become a little more affectionate. I am beginning to see he has just a different way of expressing affection then his older brother. He's much more active and inquisitive, downright exhausting to keep up with at times lol! It just sounds like she is very curious and bright, and wants to explore the world around her! Don't worry, your her mommy and she loves you, give her time to grow, explore things together! Some of the more challenging babies I hear tend to be the brightest! Don't worry, things will get easier with time, I'm starting to see that in my youngest now! The first year with most babies is difficult anyhow, your doing a great job, hang in there!

Krista - posted on 02/05/2010

My baby isn't a cuddler either -- only when he's really tired will he consent to being held close. They show love in other ways -- we just have to notice and enjoy those moments.

Sharon - posted on 02/05/2010

My daughter is half and half.....she will tolerate mommy kissing her and hugging her but she will not cuddle unless she's the one who initiates it. Kind of like her father.....lol.

Hayley - posted on 02/05/2010

i've been like that since i was born apparently lol and im almost 19. the only people i really show affection to now is my boyfriend and my son. some kids are just like that. im sure she loves you she just doesnt like showing it