does going out weekends clubbing make me a bad mum?

Chelsea - posted on 11/24/2009

WHAT EVER U DO, DO IT RESPONSABLY

UR A MOM WHEN ITS UR CHILDS BEDTIME IT SHOULD BE URS. WHEN UR HUNGOVER HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE CARE OF HER. IM 31 AND MY SON IS 2 SO I HAD ALL MY FUN CHILDLESS WHEN I WAS IN MY 20'S...THATS WHY I WAITED I WANT TO DEVOTE ALL OF ME TO MY SON ALCOHOL AND DRUG FREE....WHAT EVER U DO, DO IT RESPONSABLY.

Laurieanne - posted on 11/24/2009

Hi Kate, I guess it depends on how YOU feel you have changed. If you were a girl who was very sexually active and had a bad rep, your family and friends can probably see how you've changed for the better. They might be worried that you'll find yourself with another baby and that could make you feel bad about yourself. If you live with your parents or friends, and they help you a lot, they might feel like you aren't being responsable enough if you are willing to put yourself back into your old habits of clubbing. If you bring home another baby, they have to help you and that is hard for them too. Plus it's harder for you to love yourself if you are too weighed down. I'm positive everyone wants you to enjoy your baby.

Its not wrong to get out and away from the baby, but, when you had the baby you made a secret unspoken promise to her, that she would come first, no matter what(first before clubbing, before boyfriends, before any purchases). It's called a "Birthright". If other people are getting down on you about going out, ask them why, and really listen, even if it makes you mad.

My daughter is in the same situation and I'd prefer to see her out with friends on an organized evening, and be home at a respectable time. That way she is not tired and sleeping in the following day. I believe that if you can't get up then you haven't been responsable, and if you do get up and you are cranky at your child and the people who helped you out, after a fun weekend, then you haven't put your child first.

Moms do deserve to have fun, they just have to think a little more about "After the Party". The fact that you are asking this question shows that you are trying your best to become more responsable. It also is sad because all moms need to be encouraged, especially single moms, you have it hard enough. People in your family really do love you and want your child to see you as a respectable person in their life too. Hope this helps,

Amanda - posted on 11/24/2009

Well i have 2 kids of my own and i was 21 when i had my first one. IT MAKES U GROW UP FAST! But the way i see it you still need time to your self no matter what people say and it dont make you a bad mom.My man is over seas and im here with my 2 every day i have a 8 year and a 4 year and its hard my big weekend are going out with my family on friday to eat and playing cards lol but every once in awile i still go out for drinks with my friends.you still need a life to so have fun wile you still can because one day you will be at home babysitting for your kid so she can go out lolyou only live once!

Jenelle - posted on 11/24/2009

Moderation is key! There is nothing wrong with you going out... once in a while. You aren't suppose to give up yourself after becoming a mom. You just have to prioritize things differently now. As long as all your child's needs are met, don't feel bad about taking some time for yourself. I will say though, if you are going out every weekend, you should do some self reflection... why do you feel the need to go every weekend? There is typically some void that is trying to be filled. But don't be worried about what other people think of you, life is a learning experience, most often those who are criticizing us can't admit their own faults( we all have them) and it's easier to pass judgement onto others.

Rosh - posted on 11/24/2009

im 20 and my daughters 4 months and its been a nightmare i go out not every weekend but i drink and have a smoke but never around my baby i felt like every1 was judgin me coz i went out at the end of the day u no wot is best for u and ur baby if u want to go out then do it all mums need a break

Breann - posted on 11/23/2009

I am 23 and my son is almost 5months old. I out maybe once or twice a month! We all need a break once in a while. This does nor make you a bad mother at all! As long as your child is with someone you trust and you know they are being taken care of why not let loose once in a while!? When I do drink I don't get wasted, I only have a couple of drinks and I will only drink if I know that he has someone else to take care of him if he happens to wake up in the middle of the nite, otherwise i will go out and dance and only drink water. I wouldnt go out every weekend all weekend tho, you do have to limit yourself at times!

Robyn - posted on 11/23/2009

no it doesnt make you a bad mum
you have been with your daughter for 19 months you deserve to have a break now and then. just ignore them yes if you belive there is nothing wrong then just enjoy yourself :) x

Kathleen - posted on 11/22/2009

Hey, I'm 52 years old and I,myself, don't think that you are a bad mom! I had my oldest child when I was 18 days from being 18 years of age. I always took care of my daughter and then my youngest daughter was born 41/2 years later and when my youngest was 6 months old my husband left me. I raised both of my kids by myself by going to work and doing whatever there was for my kids. I was in my late 20's when I started going out but the people I had babysitting were ones I trusted and knew they would take care of my kids while I was out.

I think that as long as you are having responsible people take care of your daughter then I think you are doing fine!!

Carol - posted on 11/22/2009

This is what is wrong with this generation. You have your kids too young and then you decide I want to be young and free. It doesn't work that way. Once a Mom, always a Mom, just focus on your daughter, clubbing and drinking are NOT important. I agree, get away once in awhile but you don't need to go clubbing to have fun. Your child should be your focus, nothing else.

Firebird - posted on 11/22/2009

Dana, not everybody believes in god. Also she never said anything about getting "drunk" every weekend... maybe she only has 1 or 2 when she goes out. However, my opinion is that you can go out, relax and unwind without going to a club and drinking every weekend. Someone mentioned getting your nails done and I think that's a great idea. It doesn't matter if you're 16 or 60, if you're a mom, you really shouldn't be drinking every weekend. Why not once a month? You can get "me" time every week to see friends and do other things that help you relax.

My parent's went out to the bar every weekend to get drunk, then it was weekends and a couple days during the week. By the time I was a teenager they were at the bar 5 days a week because they had become alcoholics. It really sucked being raised by alkies and you know what? They didn't even realize it had gotten so bad until one of them had their job threatened after they showed up at work with booze on their breath. By that point their drunk behaviour had run both of their teenage daughters out of the house. They didn't see it coming. Whatever you do, be careful and don't let it get as bad as my parents did. It took them a long time to get sober and earn our trust and respect back.

Laura - posted on 11/22/2009

EVERY mother needs time to there self, i and every mother i have talked to sometimes feel guilty about this! Only you know who your leaving your daughter with and what your really doing while your out, and if your ok with it and can come home and jump right back to your motherly duties, go for it, you deserve it! I also have came to realize that i personally dont feel guilty when i go to lunch or a movie verses going out drinking, but thats just me, if you feel like your a good mom odds are you prob. are doing just fine!!!!!

Dana - posted on 11/22/2009

When God gave you a child , he trusted you to take care of it and he can take it away if you don't.. .something to think about...Once you have a child you should totally stop all of the stuff you did before..the child did not ask for you to have it....it needs food, shelter, nurture, and a bond with it's MOM....It can not bond if you are not there to show it that you are there to care for it as God has cared for you....If you haven't read the Bible ...now is a good time to start..It has all of the answers you need about being a drunk, and party animal....NOW is time to give that up and cherish the time you have with your child.. I lost my first baby to death and he did not live for one hour....My second child is 11 and I enjoy everysecond with him....because you are not promised tomorrow....God can take you or the baby at any age......IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU anymore... Go to church and take the child at least you will have some time alone while it is in the nursery and you are learning about GOD's plan.....I am a single mom and I take care of my children..had my first when I was 20....been about my child eversince.....NO MORE ME>....++++.Now it is WE!!!!! +++

Mellisa - posted on 11/22/2009

I think every mom needs some me time, as long as your child and all other responsibilities that come along with being an adult and a parent are taken care of first. I also think that if you are going out clubing you should be responsible, because your daughter only has one mother and she is depending on you to be there for her for a very long time. I have been in your situation and I alway thought about my boys before I made decisions. If you decide to have a drink or some drinks always make sure you have a serious designated driver. Stay Safe!!!!!!!

Felyciana Rayau - posted on 11/22/2009

i think it's fine. i do go out but like once in a month, just to get otu of the routine. but since im a mother, i control my alcohol intake as i dont want to go home drunk. i still want to be a ble to make milk for my baby the next morning. =) so, i think its ok. it's all about self control. =)

Lori - posted on 11/22/2009

Part of being a mother is being responsible. Being responsible is being there for your child at all times. I see no problem with you going out to eat with friends or on a nice date but drinking and partying needs to end. I understand you are young but you made a very grown up choice in having a baby therefore, you now live for her pleasure and not the pleasure of a 20 year old. Sorry, I know you wanted to hear something different but what happens to your baby if something happens to you while you are out drinking?

Erin - posted on 11/22/2009

I think that it would be good to get a break every week. I do not however think that a break means you go out and party all weekend...if by all weekend you mean you don't see your daughter from Fri night to Sun morning. IMO thats a bad mom! If on the other hand you want another child by the oh so wonderful people you will be meeting clubbing and having meaningless sex with, by all means! If you wanted to go out and party every weekend then I think you should have thought about that before you had a kid!!! Take a break for a few hours during the day, go out for a FEW HOURS at night and DONT GET DRUNK... why do you have to get drunk? have a drink or two and come home...I think it is ok to take a few hours every week, not an entire weekend, and if your child had ONE overnight once or twice a month so you can go get oh so stinking drunk...then that would be ok. I just think that it shows poor values if you think it is soo important for you to get stinking drunk every weekend...I know that's exactly what I want to teach my kids when they get older...? If you wouldn't want it for your own children you shouldn't do it yourself!

Christine - posted on 11/22/2009

I am a bit older than some of these moms giving replys, but I still like to go out once in a while. Not much into clubbing anymore but out for dinner and drinks occassionally is ok. Stick to once a month and treat yourself to mani/pedi or lunch with friends. Hope this helps.

Deann - posted on 11/22/2009

I think that a good mom is one that does get a break, BUT I however don't think it should be a all weekend 1-2am drunk fest weekends. You need to also spend time with her she learns from you don't forget that.

Jane - posted on 11/22/2009

i am all foe going out but not every weekend. slow dowm. trust me when u r 55 yersold .yr kids will sit down and talk about all that they remmember . and u want 2 laugh wt them .give great memiories. not just that u were out all the time partying.

Melanie - posted on 11/22/2009

I understand that you are only young but you were old enough to make the decision to keep the baby. My parents look after my child on weekend nights so that I can work - this gives me both a break from her and the chance to earn some money to contribute to our household. We all need time away from our kids to unwind but I'm sorry as far as I'm concerned if you were old enough to have a baby then you need to step up and be old enough to recognize and fully acknowledge your responsibility - your life is not your own anymore. I know that sounds rather cruel but it's reality - if you wanted to spend your youth partying then you should have made some more carefull decisions earlier.

Sharon - posted on 11/22/2009

Yes every weekend makes you a bad mom.

yes it is wrong to go out drinking every weekend.

Only because your daughter is a bare 19months old does she not miss you.

So for 5 days a week you are a good mom and for two days you aren't?

Everyone needs a break. But how do you handle your daughter when you're recovering from the liqour the night before?

If you think being young is about partying and having fun, you're right. HOWEVER its not what being a mother is about. Its about responsibility & sacrifice and joy in the simple things children bring to your life.

There are other ways to have to fun besides "drinking". A yoga class, scrapbook parties, something.

You're out way late, you've been drinking and your daughter will want your attention first thing in the morning and how is mom? Hungover. Nice.

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2009

Quoting kate:

does going out weekends clubbing make me a bad mum?

i am a single mum, i am 20 years old, my daughter is 19 months. i've just started going out at weekends clubbing and drinking, however people don't like me doing it because they think it makes me look like a bad mum. i feel like im still young and should be enjoying myself, plus its a break from my daughter, while during the week i am 100% devoted to my daughter and i do believe im a good mum. do i ignore what people are saying, or is it wrong for me to be doing this?

I wouldn't say it makes you a bad mother, no, but I would say that (1) every weekend is probably a bit over the top, (2) I ask who do you dump your daughter on overnight (because I hope if you are clubbing and drinking, someone else is looking after her overnight), and (3) motherhood comes with such a complete responsibility that part of it includes sacrifice for your children -  it does not sound like you are ready to do this.

I don't mean to be judgemental (but probably am being so..... when I really think about it), but if you are wanting to go clubbing every weekend, you are not ready to be a mother.  I have been a single mother (admittedly, I was much older), and a night out here and there was fantastic, and much needed, but every weekend, and clubbing, no, not really the right thing to do by my child.  But then, I worked during the week .......so my son was in daycare.  I actually really appreciated my time with him on weekends.  What are you doing all week?? 

Tanya - posted on 11/22/2009

well i am 29, i have 2 children aged 4 and 2... i still go out on rare occasions clubbing and drinking when they go stay at my mothers.... no ur not a bad mother but i recently found out that a big reason it's looked down upon has nothing to do with age its apparently because when mums have kids they should be spending the money on the kids not going out and drinking..... if ur anything like me ive always gotten everything for my kids first before i spent a cent on my self.... ppl will always have opinions and judgements no matter what u do hun... chin up u only have 1 life and this is it while ur still young if u can handle juggling a rough hangover with kids then its all good LOL (i just tell my oldest i have the sunday flu pmsl)
p.s a bad mother would be some one who dumps there kid on anyone to go out, spend nappy money on drinking, use there last $20 to have a drink or are around there child while drunk! I'll probably get shot for saying that one but i dont believe parents should have care of there children while intoxicated because they are altered when under the influence. Im not saying its not ok to drinking infront of ur child, i mean like be wasted with a child in ur care!
so no ur not a bad mum :)

W'Loeska - posted on 11/22/2009

Its not wrong doing what you do im also a 20 year old mom and i also need a brake sometimes.Everyone has their own way of relaxing and everyone has a diffrent meaning and way of me time.If you feel thats how you want to do it then thats your right as long as you know your boundries and dont neglect your daughter!!

Erin - posted on 11/22/2009

I honestly can't believe the amount of posts encouraging a mother to go out every weekend and leave her child, so she can have 'fun'. Ofcourse we are more than just somebody's mum, and we do need a break from time to time, but seriously!!! Going out every weekend drinking and partying is not the actions of a responsible parent, no matter what the circumstances.

Samantha - posted on 11/22/2009

i no hw u feel hun i was only 19 whn i had my son and 19 and half whn he was diagnosed with serve autism but b 4 tht i thought i was a bad mum becos wasnt doing the thngs he suppost 2 and tht wot i was being told by the health visitor tht i had i also had stress related and postnatal depression so i was out most wkends or in drinking with my son (when he was in bed ) but i was all ways capeable of looking after him at all times nw my sons 6 and i dont really go out because of the guilt leaving him at wkends whn he was little it only last a few till i realised tht it was wrng i do go out evry nw and thn . dont worry ur not a bad mother just becos u want 2 av fun but if im honest going out evry wk end will not do u any favours in the long run

LaShanda - posted on 11/21/2009

Always ignore what they are saying especially if you know different! I have always went to clubs, before iI had my son at 19 up until now the best thing is to always be safe and think about your child. So you can have a little to drink but no drunk driving because you have a little one to take care of.

Sabrina - posted on 11/21/2009

your young and single you still need a life I wouldn'tdoit every weekend though once a month or every other weekend ur little one needs you

Bre - posted on 11/21/2009

Katie,
I do not think it means you are a bad mom if you go out sometimes on the weekends. I mean you need to have your time too and hanging out with your friends and having fun drinking a little bit wont hurt. Your a FULL TIME mom and sometimese we need a break. You are still young and you need to have your time. It doesnt make you a bad mom as long as your not exposing your daughter to drunk people and random guys around her. Your doing fine girl! You take your time cause we all need to!

Rebecca - posted on 11/21/2009

I'm 25 I have a 5 year old little girl, I go out once a fortnight & me & my close friends have a BBQ on the off week we dont go out, We drink when we go out & @ our BBQ's my daughter stays with my mum or a close friend when I go out, & they bring her back the next day after lunch. At the BBQ's we have a desegnated patent 2 watch the kids & put them 2 bed, & we all stay the nite.. Ur young u only live once as long as ur daughter is looked after & u r giving her the attention & love she needs, WHAT DOES IT REALLY MATTER if we go out for a lil fun & down time... We need a break a lil me time, time 2 have fun, I would'nt listen to them if they r giving u a hard time about going out, I love 2 go out with the girls we spend half the night laughing & with out my BFF's & time out I dont no what I'd do it makes me happier @ home that I get a break, Because with work & being a full time mum I really need that lil me time. The only thing I can say is maybe once a fortnight not every weekend its 2 draining... & no its not wrong 4 u 2 be going out..

Kelly - posted on 11/21/2009

NO i dont think your a bad mum far from it actually, every1 needs there time away u just do wot u feel is right, i totally agree with going ot 1nce a weeknd u need your time to its only normal! plus kids nd there time away to bond with family membrs and to socalise. people just nd to stop judgeing othr mothers every1s difernt so go get a life

Erin - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting Keylee:

Ignore all the people that are judging you for taking a break!!! I am so beyond serious!!! You have the full rights to go out and have fun on the weekends. It's not like its an everyday ordeal. The people who do think bad of you doing this are just jealous that they can't do the same thing or perhaps don't have children themselves so they don't know or understand the stress that children can bring. Plus not only is it a good break from you from your child but it is also a good break for her from you. It is good for your child to be social butterfly with family members and trusted friends. Plus it is good and healthy for you to be the same too. If you just sat at home all the time you would end up being depressed and cut from all your friends. Friends are always great to have especially when you are a mom. Trust me I have 3 kiddos and another on the way. But I also have my friends that I can just talk with or hang out with. also in my opinion going out at least once a week is great for you to be able to do.

It's a pretty big assumption to say that those who disapprove of a mother dumping her child every weekend so she can go out partying do so because they are jealous!! You don't think it might have something to do with concern for that child? Or concern for the young mum, for that matter?

Erin - posted on 11/21/2009

Sounds like your priorities need to be re-evaluated if you're going out every weekend and having someone else look after your child. Single or not, young or not, having every weekend off is a luxury mothers do not have.We don't clock off at 5pm Friday and say 'have fun kiddo, Mummy's having some 'me' time now'. It just doesn't work that way.

Ofcourse we all need a bit of a break, but not every weekend. I am also a single mother (though I'm 28) and I have spent 3 nights away from my 9.5 month old daughter (soon to be 4 as I have my work Christmas party next week). Having a night out with friends periodically is reasonable, and probably even necessary, but going out all weekend, every weekend, is excessive and irresponsible.

Keylee - posted on 11/21/2009

also I am not saying the children bring all sorts of crazy stress at all by my earlier posting. I am just saying that stress from everything throughout the week builds up and it would be better to be able to release that instead of being in a crappy mood with your child because children do sense moods from adults.

Keylee - posted on 11/21/2009

Ignore all the people that are judging you for taking a break!!! I am so beyond serious!!! You have the full rights to go out and have fun on the weekends. It's not like its an everyday ordeal. The people who do think bad of you doing this are just jealous that they can't do the same thing or perhaps don't have children themselves so they don't know or understand the stress that children can bring. Plus not only is it a good break from you from your child but it is also a good break for her from you. It is good for your child to be social butterfly with family members and trusted friends. Plus it is good and healthy for you to be the same too. If you just sat at home all the time you would end up being depressed and cut from all your friends. Friends are always great to have especially when you are a mom. Trust me I have 3 kiddos and another on the way. But I also have my friends that I can just talk with or hang out with. also in my opinion going out at least once a week is great for you to be able to do.

Tammy - posted on 11/21/2009

dont be silly hun every mum has the right to go and and just be your self for ones we have the rights to have fun has longs has you do things with your kids why dont go out and have fun

Merethe - posted on 11/21/2009

you can go out some days in the weekend but not every wekend!!!! you are a mum now cant do the stoff you did before you have a kid! always first your kid then you:)hug frome Merethe

Lisa - posted on 11/21/2009

no it doesnt make u a bad mum, lyk u z ur still young n u need a life. go out n enjoy ursen. u do need tym 2 ursen frm every day 2 day things.

Lisa - posted on 11/21/2009

Quoting kate:

does going out weekends clubbing make me a bad mum?

i am a single mum, i am 20 years old, my daughter is 19 months. i've just started going out at weekends clubbing and drinking, however people don't like me doing it because they think it makes me look like a bad mum. i feel like im still young and should be enjoying myself, plus its a break from my daughter, while during the week i am 100% devoted to my daughter and i do believe im a good mum. do i ignore what people are saying, or is it wrong for me to be doing this?

Shyanna - posted on 11/21/2009

I had my daughter on my 20th birthday, and I was still breastfeeding on my 21st birthday...A good mom is a happy mom, and going out shouldnt be the issue. Factors are, who is you daughter with? Family is good, sitters are not. If it is your mom than that is good for her grandparents to get that special bonding and time with her. I stayed at home for the 1st year and didnt go out, not b/c I didn't want to but b/c I couldn't stand to part with my baby and I did feel bad for wanting to go out. Oviously you do think that what you are doing is somewhat wrong or else you wouldnt care about others opinions. Drinking is a problem and only for this reason, If you daughter winds up in the ER during someone elses care are you going to show up drunk? Are you fully able to drive to to the hospital if you need to? And the fact that you arent legal to drink anyhow lol. A mom isnt a monday thru friday 9-5 job its a 24-7 365 job, yes you are young but so am I and I am preggo with my 2nd and I am 22, you need to wait until your daughter is older to go have fun, when ppl make the decision to have kids they are making a life changing one and it shouldnt be taken lightly

Sharalyn - posted on 11/21/2009

Depends. Do you go out EVERY weekend? If so, maybe you should cut it out for awhile. Being a mother is a blessing, and yes I understand we all need our 'me time' however, we must be a positive influence and example to our daughters. Clubbing is and should be a thing of the pass now. yes you are 20 years old but there are always other times to go out such as special occasions, birthdays, holidays etc. Spend a weekend with your child. I am not knocking you for going out however others may not see it like this. If you go out once or twice a month to the club I don't see any harm in that. But if you going to the club every Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, then there is a problem. Hope this helps.

Chasity - posted on 11/21/2009

I was 18 when I had my first, 19 when I had my 2nd and 21 when I had my 3rd. (Yes they all have the same dad-we just celebrate dour 10 year anniversary this April). They are all 17 months apart from each other. I have never been to a club or been out drinking. Once I had kids, I felt it was time for me to grow up. That's just me though. When you're not clubbin, how much time do you spend with your daughter? Is the time you're out time you could be spending with her? I don't think you're a bad mom at all. I was younger than you when my first was born! I know what it's like to feel you have to give up freedom and fun. I totally understand. It's not important about what other people say. No one has the right to judge you. However, if these people are saying to you, you don't spend enough time with her, or your drinking is our of control, maybe you should listen. If you are responsible and this is not affecting your daughter's safety, then you should be able to go out and have fun. I do want to share this though. I am a Children's Pastor. I would never try and push my beliefs on anyone or pass judgment. I do believe that there is a season for everything. Is one of the people complaining your mother? If so, look at it from her point of view. When your daughter is 20 and say she's a single om, would you want her dong what you're doing? If you wouldn't mind, then keep doing what you're doing. If it would bother you, even the slightest bit, maybe you should rethink it. Hope this helps.

Stacey - posted on 11/21/2009

i dont think it is bad. i have a 2 year old boy and my parents want my son every weekend. its a chance for them to see their grandchild. and my parents tell me to go out cause it is a break from work and a break from my son. hes not a bad kid but moms need mommy time too. now i dont go out both friday and saturday night i just usually do friday night but still its time to relax and let loose. even the guy im seeing tells me to go out and have fun and he dont go (even though he is always invited) and he dont drink but he too says i need a break. all week i do everything for my son. i tell him he should be going to work for me seeing most my money goes to him anyways lol.



so girl go out nd have a good time dont worry what others say. true friends would understand that

Sherrie - posted on 11/21/2009

It depends on how long you are away from your child and how long you spend with her during the week. Everyone needs a break sometime but every weekend can be a bit much in my opinion. If you work during the week take the weekends to decompress at home and just spend the entire day with her if you don't already do so. It's tough being a mom at 27 let alone 20 when you haven't had a chance to really experience life. Think of what you want you daughter to remember about weekends spent with her mommy and go for it!

Laura - posted on 11/21/2009

There is nothing wrong with going out and having fun as long as your baby is properly taken care of, and the clubbing does'nt become a priority over her needs

Charu - posted on 11/21/2009

being responsible, balancing it right, and actin your age, i dont think theres any problem doing an occasional outing, it might help you cope btr with the stresses of life.
i did the occasional outing when my kids wer grwing up, bt once they wer in a routine, and old enough to know right from wrong, i went out a lot more.
not accepted by many close family and friends i know, but i know i didnt shy away from my responsibilities...... !! so i ignored the remarks. no regrets!

Marlo - posted on 11/20/2009

I was also a young mother. You are not a bad mom as long as you do it in moderation. Plus when she gets old enough you have to think of what kind of example you are setting for her. My thought is now....my daughter is 8 and i would much rather be at home playing a game with her then drinking with loosers in a bar.

Stephanie - posted on 11/20/2009

I agree w/ everyone else here! I think it was pretty much covered! 1 or 2x a month is good! Don't get too drunk, just have a good time! My daughter was 4 & I was single when I turned 21 and started going out & I actually met the "exception" which is now my husband & we have 2 boys now and been together 7 yrs! But I believe we were just lucky to meet there! As a mother of 3 and only 28 I still have to get my girls night out every once in while & it feels great! So have fun, in moderation, like the others said don't be bringing random guys or really bad hungover verison of "mommy" home 2 ur daughter and you will be just fine! Your a good mommy for wanting & needing her time too!

Tiare - posted on 11/20/2009

being a bad mother is pretty extreme. however.... i dont really agree with going out every weekend.... you should enjoy yourself but try and find something else more responsible like going to the movies or whatever... you are entitled to your time, but you are a mother and break isnt really in the contract for mom! i dont think that going to a club makes you a bad mom, i have done that too, but the times that i go are few and far in between... just make sure your priorities are right and benificial to you AND your daughter.... you probably arent feeling like listening to the wining or playing a bunch with her the next day and if this IS the case then you def need to step back and reevaluate your system....

Kelly - posted on 11/20/2009

Unfortunately, this is why so many people "look down" on and judge young, single mothers. Many times on here, young girls are wondering why people give teenage moms bad looks and comments. If you bring a child into the world, that child deserves to be your top priority. That means you have to give up being a carefree kid yourself. If you try to have it both ways, people are not going to approve. I'm not saying you have to live your life to please anyone else, but yes, since you have asked, a lot of people are going to think less of you for going out drinking every weekend when you have a precious baby at home. As a Christian mom, I agree with an earlier poster, that I don't have to care what other people think, I only have to care whether God is pleased with my actions. I also have to behave in a way that I can feel good about, and that is not hurting my kids, because they depend on me, to guide them in the way I hope they will live their own lives, and to be there for them when they need me. And this is coming from someone who partied, until I grew up and became a mom. Try and look at the big picture. You may not think right now that this is affecting your daughter, because she is young and doesn't know what you are doing. But, what about when she is five, or eight, or twelve. How do you think it will make her feel, when other kids have "family game night" or "movie night" or sleepovers, and she is spending Saturday nights with a babysitter while you are getting dressed up and going out drinking, maybe hooking up with new guys (and come on, you might as well admit, you can't go clubbing every weekend and there's no guys involved, ever, it just doesn't happen). If you are thinking, "well it won't be like that", why not? Is there a magic age when you will just stop? I just hope you will think about it. She won't be a baby for long, and you really will miss these days with her.