Yolanda - posted on 10/29/2012 ( 77 moms have responded )
Okay, I just became a member just to post on this site because apparently my quite recent homeless husband is trying to do some research and has chosen this site to support his 'view.' So I decided why not post my situation and see what other moms had to say. Maybe he can read the responses and try to see the 'problem' with this marriage. So here we go, I am a fourth grade teacher, who has been teaching for 7 yrs. My husband and I have been together 12 years, married 2 of those 12. I had two kids when we meet. My son was four, my daughter two, he is the only father they have ever known. We currently have a three year old son. I feel like the moment I said I do, he said I don't. He didn't work, because he really didn't want a 'minimum' wage job, but he is not certified nor has a degree in any other type of job. So under my insistence he used his GI Bill to enroll in college, but made it quite clear that he was doing it to please me. It brought income into the house to help us pay the bills that were mostly accumulated by him since he was the only one home. I worked full time, my two older kids go to school and have activities they participate in, and our youngest goes to daycare because he tried to be a stay at home dad the first 6 months of our son's life and then decided this was also not for him. After four years in a community college his GI Bill ran out and he had nothing to show for it, not even an Associate's Degree. He was good at having dinner ready, most of the time but not always. There were times I came home at 7pm and the kids had not eaten and everyone is sitting watching tv or playing video games on a school night. He also did laundry but did not believe in folding and putting them up. He picked up the living room and occassionally cleaned it. Other than that he did nothing else but played video games. We struggled financially and when his GI bill ran out things got really bad. Meanwhile my kids who are now teenagers are watching and taking it all in. My husband also started to make it clear he didn't want to be 'dad' to my kids and didn't need or want their respect. They just needed to do what he said no matter what. Even when he left spills for them to clean up or harden oatmeal from that mornings breakfast. It was their job to clean it. So eventually bitterness and lack of respect from my 16 year old son set in. Finally after begging him to get a job, some job, I went out and got a second job on top of the 10 hours I work as a teacher. My son also got a job and tried to help out. When I came home stating that I had a job and he needed to move out, he was very motivated and got a job within the week, but I was tired of it all. He yelled a lot and seemed quick to lash out at the kids. He always tried to treat me as a 'queen' because he loves me but he doesn't seem to undersatand that when my kids hurt, when my daughter cried, "why doesn't daddy love me?" I HURT. The final straw??? (yes, I was willing to make it work...lol..more like trying to make a round peg fit in a square hole) Well the finally straw was four nights ago when he attacked my teenage son. Now I teach for a living and I know kids can be bratty and even push you to scream but we should always be the adult and never put our hands on any child in anger, but when my son mouthed off to him, my over 200lbs husband grabbed my son my the throat and wouldn't let go. It was the scarest moment for me when I couldn't get him off my son, but he did let go. My son was fine but the pain I felt when he cried in my arms...(sigh) so I threw the husband out. Now he stays in a shelter even though there are friends he can call or his parents he can reach out to. I believe he is doing this to make me feel bad. He is walking around our small town like a hobo. Do I feel bad...believe it or not a sliver, but mostly just anger. Especially when he sends me links from this website to support his actions. So ladies, what do you think?