Does this make me wrong!

Jodi - posted on 02/09/2010

I am going to lock this thread because the OP evidently did not start this thread to gauge the variety of opinions of other mothers.

Thank you
Jodi Adams
CoM Moderator

Twiggy - posted on 02/09/2010

in my opinion your baby can call it whatever he likes, as long as you dont make a big deal out of it and make it stand out as though it's a body part to be ashamed (girls) or proud (boys) of... it's just another body part, and you can nickname his entire body if that's what makes you and him comfortable ;)

Jacqui - posted on 02/09/2010

Well it seems to me you have answered your own question "Am I wronge........" cause as you have just stated that for you family "There is nothing wrong with it at all " So exactly what was it you were after in the posting of your conversation ? Im not confused about penises but Im diffenatly confussed as to what you wanted to acheive in starting this post. If you are going to get offened by other Mothers comments DONT ask for them but if you are going to put it out there be prepared for different opinions to your own and take them with an open mind.

Crystal - posted on 02/09/2010

I have said it once and I will say it agian My son knows his peanut is a penis and every one how thinks other wise i'm sorry for you, you dont live in my house hold, There is nothing wrong with it at all, And no I dont thinkt that is going to be confused or the doctor oh well we all use nicknames some point in time

Charlie - posted on 02/09/2010

Its a penis , i have no idea WHY parents are so uptight about calling it its proper colloquial term understood universally by all and since my son is not a doctor he doesn't need to learn the medical name yet of all body parts although it is handy to know in the future arms ,legs, fingers toes and penis will do .



I personally think people have issues calling the penis its rightful name because they have attached some sexual stigma to it which is ridiculous .

Having said that if god forbid my child was assaulted and he used a name like peanut to describe the area touched the statement would be dismissed , imagine if they confided in a teacher " excuse me miss ........touches my peanut " a teacher would think they were dobbing on someone for handling their lunch , SCARY !

Amanda - posted on 02/08/2010

my son couldnt say penis correctly when he was little so we always called it his "boys" that way in public when his "boys" hurt its wasnt embarresing or when he got the the age that he got pee hardons he didnt annouce to the intire wallmart store that his penis was growing instead he said his "boys" were growing and know one even turned there head we also had a problem with girls having nipples and boys having pecks now he says boys have pimples instead of pecks or nipples its kinda cute now but we are working on correcting that one i think they learn the correct terms the minuet they enter school my son is 4 and he came home the 2nd week of preschool and told me it wasnt his boys but a penis i told him at that point he could call it what he wanted im sure as a mom you will know when the terms are correct for your child though

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2010

Sandi- that really made me laugh out loud,lol..now i cant stop giggling...hope i dont wake my child up,lol

Sandi - posted on 02/08/2010

Oh it seems we got our phalanges crossed :/ Sorry

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2010

SANDI- the comment wasnt directed at you,lol..it was directed at Crystal,lol

Michelle - posted on 02/08/2010

There's nothing wrong with using a euphemism. We do it all the time in our society for all kinds of things, and the idea that a doctor wouldn't know what a child meant by "I hurt my peanut" is just ludicrous. My kids and I have had roll-on-the-floor laughing discussions about all the different words for body parts, including "piggies" for toes, and "hoo-hoo" for vagina. While I can't say I know exactly at what point I gave them the real names, there was no "confusion" over it. Saying that kids will be confused over a different name for a body part is seriously underestimating the intelligence of our children.

It really comes down to your cultural ideals. Don't let anyone convince you that you're somehow wrong in choosing to nickname it differently. After all, half the adults I know have nicknames for their own body parts just for the fun of it! Why not let kids in on the fun, too. Why should they have to be so serious about it all of the time?

Sandi - posted on 02/08/2010

Danielle I'm well aware of the difference...one gets you pregnant :P

It was just to lighten the mood don't fret :D

Stephanie - posted on 02/08/2010

I have to agree on the child molestation part at the beginning of this....from personal experience in this situation, they DO NOT let someone off because the child did not know the correct name. That is ridiculous. And in most cases the young children are asked to show where, rather than tell. Most children don't use the actual name. My daughter's refer to their vagina's as "pee-pee's" and that is the same thing I was taught to call mine as a small child. My son uses "pee-pee/weiner/dinger/etc.." and I do not believe there is anything wrong with that. We use the actual names as well, but they are young and it doesn't matter what they call it.

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2010

are u seriously comparing peanut and penis to phalenges and fingers and toes?..im sorry but they ar NOT they same thing AT ALL!!!.
Peanut is some silly name you made up for your child because for some reason u dont want him to call it what it really is???..thats your choice and u are entitled to raise your son anyway that you see fit..
However PHALANGES is a mediacl. scientfic term...part of the medical jargon if you will. however the colloquial term is fingers or toes, therefor it is NOT the same as making up a name for a penis,lol..

Sorry i just had to clarify that point!...its your son, do what you want but dont get all upset and rediculous when you ask for advice and dont recieve the sortof advice you wanted.

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2010

I believe that if you wanna call it a peanut or whatever name, then thats, fine it's your choice and it's what you are comfortable with. I personally think that some of the nicknames we give body parts are more ridiculous than the actual names. A friend of mine calls a penis a woo woo and a vagina a pee too. I think they're over the top silly but thats my opinion. When I was younger I referred to it as a pee pee or my privates. Then when I was a litlle older I started calling it my vagina. Oh and it drives me absolutely insane when your talking to a grown adult and they're still using these nicknames in conversation with other adults lol. No grown mans penis should ever be called a wee wee!

Sandi - posted on 02/08/2010

And don't offer him Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers or Johnson's Baby Oil what will he think!! Sorry couldn't resist, lol.

Jennifer - posted on 02/08/2010

How confused do you think your son is going to be if you ask him if he wants peanut butter or peanuts? You need to call a spade a spade and teach him the real term for his parts.

Sandi - posted on 02/08/2010

Also the medical "real" term for a finger or toe is a Phalanx. More than one, then they are Phalanges.

The real name for a bus is omnibus.

If your kid gets a bad stomach it's diarrea not a runny tummy.

Also the generic term "cephalgia" is the medical equivalent of "headache." There are
many other kinds of headaches and other causes of pain in the head as well. These include migraine headache, cluster headache, tension headache, temporal arteritis, as well as several other intracranial causes of head pain. Be sure your baby know the difference before taking them to the doctors as pointing and saying "I have a poorly head" will confuse the physician.

(This was in jest by the way don't take it too seriously hehe)

COLEEN - posted on 02/08/2010

why can't he just call it what it is ???penis...peanut...kids should know the proper name for all of their body parts.....it makes life easier for them....

Brooke - posted on 02/08/2010

I can speak from personal experience that if a child is sexually abused and so interviewed by a detective, they expect the child to name each part which was touched correctly. I as a young teen went through this and had to tell each individual part... The clitoris, anus etc. I was embarrassed about using these terms and found it awfully hard to speak to a stranger about where I had been abused!

Use the proper name!

may I add the offender was never punished for what happened as there was not enough evidence on my account.

Sandi - posted on 02/08/2010

Our daughter is only 10months but we will call her vagina a "foo-foo". I think we will know when to tell her the medical termanology for her body parts. Just like tummy is stomach or poo-poo is fecal matter. I think there are age appropriate words and each parent will know when their "baby" is receptive enough to understand and use the words in the right context.

Just like when the inevitable question "where do babies come from" pops up you explain "where" they come from, then when they are older you tell them about sex and "how" they get there. As long as you and your son can communicate without misunderstanding then I don't see anything wrong with it. You will be his voice until he is legally a young adult anyway... by which time I'm sure he will be telling you a thing or two about a penis and the many names they are given! :P

I know friends that have taught their children the medical terms before the children were mature enough to understand the context. The kids just come across as crude and like to say penis or vagina just for reactions. I for one don't want to hear a little child shouting out their new words while I'm at a family BBQ. The same way I don't want to sit while they fart / trump / break wind because "it's just a bodily function". It's a fine line understanding what's courteous and appropriate instead of dirty and ashamed .

Regardless of what you call it, as long as he has a way of referring to it and expressing himself, he wont be ashamed or confused when you feel the time is right to take his vocabulary to the next level. You're a good mum either way!

Sharon - posted on 02/08/2010

I hurt my dodgeywhatsis!!!

Kate CP - posted on 02/08/2010

Crystal, a finger or toe is the correct term for the body part. It's not a cutesy made-up name or euphemism. If you go to the doctor and say "I hurt my finger" he'll know what you mean. If you go to the doctor and say "I hurt my peanut" he'll have no idea what you're talking about.

Lori - posted on 02/08/2010

I would not call it a "peanut". There is nothing wrong with calling it by it's given name. If you want to give him a nickname for it, think of something other than a food. We have all heard different names for it, but at the same time, you don't want it to be a habit as he gets older. Imagine a 10 year old calling his penis "peanut". What would you think if you heard that from a boy who should know the correct term?



As opposed to an early reply, children as young as two can and will be talked to by psychologists if there is any proof of sexual abuse. The DCFS caseworkers will need to know from the child where they have been hurt. If a child says anything in a school that comes across that sexual abuse may be occurring, teachers are mandated reporters and are obligated to make a call to the local DCFS.

Jodi - posted on 02/08/2010

Evidently, from your most recent post, Crystal, you weren't seeking opinions on whether you were right or wrong, you were seeking validation that you are right, and are now taking the opinion of others personally. Everyone has an opinion, and when you ask the question, people are going to give you their opinions, whether you like them or not. Honestly, there is absolutely no point in asking if you are going to get your knickers in a knot when people disagree with you.

Erin - posted on 02/08/2010

I don't think it makes you wrong at all. I use kiddish/cutish names for my daughter too who is only 5 months. However, I do want her to know what the names of the anatomy are once she understands what the body part is and starts potty training.
I agree with Jodi with regard to the sexual abuse comment....it's important they know what the parts are called.

Jessica - posted on 02/08/2010

I don't think you're wrong at all. We call it the tinkle.

Genevieve - posted on 02/08/2010

you should seek some professional help with that advice but i think kids should know how to say their body parts for medical reasons like if he is saying something that hurts then you can seek medical advice, as with little kids it is often hard to tell if he or she is pain unless you can see it on their faces

Jacqui - posted on 02/08/2010

Am I incorrect but the question asked by you was " Am I wronge in calling my 2 yr old sons penis a peanut and not calling it a penis " ?? so are we talking about fingers and toes or penises and vaginas ?? My concern is not with the legal system and how they deal with children useing the incorrect terms, cause you are right I believe MOST people in the system that deal with these cases WOULD be able to understand what the child is talking about. My concern as I was saying lays with other indivduals that dont deal with these regually, like the little girl I mentioned, I can only imagine how much better off and how much LESS abuse she would have had to deal with if only the day care provider had understood that "playing with her flower" ment "playing with her vagina" and could have reported it earlier. I could only imagine how devistated I would be if my child was to said to someone something like "Uncle Johhnys peanut is salty" "Uncle Johhny makes me play with his tail" or "Uncle Johhny plays with my marbles" and now one for the girls "Uncle Johnny likes to eat my cauliflower" and no one understood and abuse was to continue on. I know with confedience that my children would say "Uncle Johhny makes me play with his penis" (let me say that Im only useing these as examples)



It is this type of confusion that Im trying to protect MY children from. I do not say that you are wronge in calling you sons privates nicknames just thought I would comment on my experience and wish your child the safest life that you can provide for him and wise that nothing of this nature ever becomes an issue for you.



It also seems to me that you have already formed an opinion about this issue and are comfortable about using nick names for him and if so you shouldnt have asked the question and then be offend by other mother opinions. Good Luck you know what best for you child and I know whats best for mine :)

Manu - posted on 02/08/2010

i agree - everyone's got their own opinion...don't take it personal, crystal!
(not sure if i find 'one-eyed-snake' equally appropriate but peanut still cracks me up)
cheer up! xxx

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2010

Crystal you asked us if you were wrong, so why so defensive? Just going by your last post.

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2010

I feel a child should know what it really is. You say its too grown up, its not like you told him its a dick or cock or anything. As long as he knows what it is then it doesn't matter. If he made the choice to call a peanut then go for it, but if your telling him to call it a peanut he might think its a bad thing, and cause confusion later on.

Crystal - posted on 02/08/2010

so this is too all the moms that said they teach the correct name to all body part, so therefore you do call yiur childs fingers/toes there phalanges b/c what your saying is fingers and toes is a not the correct word? or so you said....2nd of all there has also been cases where children have been rapped and the rapper get away b/c they would not testify when it comes down too most of the time a child goes threw a child phsycologist and test theres ways to figure it out you have to have someone willing to f but its not that hard!! silly no not at all to have a nickname but he knows its a penis as well as all the other names for it as well......

just in case you dont know any nicknames for you sons penis heres a few we have
.peanut. tallywacker..one eyed snake. johnnyboy..the 3rd leg..ole faithful..watering hose..pecker..peepee..oh in i also call his testicles balls not testies guess i wrong for that to oh well

Manu - posted on 02/08/2010

hahaha brilliant! peanut - I love it!
Seriously - who cares?! I called my bits 'mouse' when I was little - no idea why! I know the right names now and if it hurts, he'll point at his peanut - sign language is something everybody understands! PEANUT - I think it's awesome (want a boy now so I can use this hahaha) x

Heather - posted on 02/08/2010

You may think it will be easy for your child to just start using the correct terminology, but I have seen instances where the parents made up words and it become a serious problem for their family. Their kids had a very hard time changing the way they spoke and were not only made fun of but it made the family look really silly and immature.

Tracy - posted on 02/08/2010

there is nothing wrong with using another word. my son started calling his a "dewey" because my grandfather used to always say he was going to "shake the dew off the lily" when he had to go to the bathroom.

Maria - posted on 02/08/2010

I don't think you're wrong at all. Many things get nick names including OUR CHILDREN. I don't thinks it's hard to determine what a child is talking about if they are being molested. And yes, doctors aren't stupid they've heard it all before and aren't you in the room with them. You can clarify it if the Dr. doesn't know. If anything, teach them both. My children learn English and Spanish at the same time and they know what things are in different languages. They can learn their body parts with the correct term or a nickname. If they know an eye is ojo and a nose is nariz they'll know that penut is a penis. Kids aren't as nieve as some people think they are.

Danielle - posted on 02/08/2010

I personally have taught my daughter the "correct"words for her body part...if she wants to make up her own words for private parts later then thats her choice as long as she knows what they are called it doesnt matter...BUT i WONT force a nickname on her private parts..thats a bit weird to me...

But i am one of those people who HATE baby talk,lol..it drives me insane...like bot-bot or anything like that i think it is soo STUPID!...kids arent dumb how is Penis or vagina harder to say then peanut?..for godsake peanut has more letters,lol.....

Meh, each parent to their own i suppose, just do what works best for you. I personally REFUSE to baby my 20month old daughter but hey thats just me. BTW my daughter can say the names of her private parts so its NOT to hard for children to say....im sorry but that is the MOST pathetic excuse to use.

Penny - posted on 02/08/2010

I agree with what the other mums have said. However, if you don't feel comfortable using the proper word then use 'Peanut'. Penis is just a word like hand, foot and it is part of the body so I would personally use the proper word (there's enough confusion in this world without giving different names for things).
Both my girls know where their vagina is but they don't like the word so they use something else. Each to their own. As long as he knows what it's really called - does it really matter? Although when he starts school you really want him to use the proper word otherwise other children will start taking the mickey if he says 'Peanut'.

Kate CP - posted on 02/08/2010

Yes. You're wrong. It's a penis. When he gets older and some kid kicks him in the crotch hard enough to make him bleed (which has happened before) and he runs to the teacher to tell her that his peanut is bleeding she'll laugh, pat him on the head, and tell him to go run along and play. Just because you have hang ups about body parts doesn't mean your kid should.

Brandy - posted on 02/08/2010

My son is 3 and he knows both terms the nickname for it and the real name.. There is nothing naughty about the correct term.. Its what it is.. thats like making up a nickname for their belly button because it sounds better than "belly button" kind of silly. But I dont think your wrong in calling it a different name everyone does it. We call it his winki.. Like the other mom has said that it is important they know correct terms so they can protect themselves from sexual abuse. I always have explained to my son from the time he could walk good touches and bad touches and that he shows it to no one and we dont look at anyone elses. Oh and heres another thing. If you continue to be embarrassed about the real term then he will be too.

Melissa - posted on 02/08/2010

Forgive me for not taking the time to read all the other posts, so I hope I don't repeat what other people have said. There's no wrong or right way here, so please don't think you're wrong. Personally, though, I always use the "correct" term for my child's anatomy and when they make up other silly names, I always tell them they can call it what they want, but I remind them of the appropriate term, too.

Tamra - posted on 02/07/2010

I do agree that when speaking to other adults we should us the correct terms.

JoAnne - posted on 02/07/2010

There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying peanut instead of penis! Trust me he is not going to be tramatized by your using another word. Yes you can use the the correct word if your comfortable but really people do you think this child is really going to go to high school saying peanut? You may wish he would ! you'll be hearing other names you definately didn't make up!

Jodi - posted on 02/07/2010

Tamra, it was because she started a post referring to her son's "peanut". It was a post to other mothers, asking for advice about him playing with it, and I told her it was a penis, not a peanut, because I don't understand why we, as adults discussing these issues amongst ourselves, can't use the correct terms, rather than calling it silly names in this forum. I am also a big believer in calling it what it is - penis, vagina. No more of a mouthful than many other names we give them.

Tamra - posted on 02/07/2010

May I asked what prompted you to try and find out if it's wrong to use a nickname in the first place? Did someone else say something to you? Or were you unsure yourself? As for me, as long as he knows the proper term a nickname won't hurt him one bit. The real issue is why were you wondering in the first place. Whatever made you wonder is what you have to figure out.

Dawn - posted on 02/07/2010

I agree there is nothing wrong with a child knowing the proper name of their part but there is also nothing wrong with nicknames either I call my boys penis a pickle but they do know they have a penis they like to call it a pickle...

Dawn - posted on 02/07/2010

My 3 and 4 yr old boys call it a pickle I agree penis is a big word for a little boy...

Skye - posted on 02/07/2010

mother knows best, and i think you can call it what ever u like,:)

Jacqui - posted on 02/07/2010

I use the correct names for all their body part because I heard of a story about a little girl who would tell the ladies at day care the her "dad plays with my flower" and they never picked up on the fact that her was sexually abusing his own daughter. From that point on my sons have a penis and my daughter has a vagina. As long as you arent embaressed about it they will not think anything of useing the correct names and you will have peice of mind that if anyone was ever doing anything of this nature you or anyone will know exactly whats going on, Mind you it did take a little getting use to, Good Luck :)

Stephanie - posted on 02/07/2010

I dont think its because we as adults are embarrased or scared to tell our children the correct names of body parts. I mean my girls called their nipples their chi chi's. its just like saying they are boobies instead of breasts. saying chi chi or pee pee or bo bo is cute and much easier to say then penis or vagina or breasts or nipples.i mean can you imagine sitting their trying to teach your toddler the correct name "can you say va-gi-na? come on now, say va-gi-na...instead you say "oh thats your pee pee, or did you fall on your bo bo? much easier for a child to say...its not wrong, or causing future embarrasment, or any such thing. its just like saying shoot instead of the other word...should we all go around using the curse word because saying shoot teaches our children the wrong thing? i dont think so....