Does your child have problems with bullies at his/her school?

Ora - posted on 11/29/2012

BABY BULLIES

This TV segment from 60 MINUTES shows that babies are born with the ability to see petty differences between themselves and others. Once that “difference” is established, they have no moral qualms about punishing “others” who are different. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57... . THE ICE VEIL TALES are a series of 12 fantasy/adventures that can help parents teach their kids (5-7 years old) the most important thing we have in common. Doing so will curtail bully behavior in classrooms. You may watch a FREE animated puppet show of Book One at: www.TheIceVeilTales.com. Hope this helps. Wishing you and your families Happy Holidays and Happy Classrooms!

Geralyn - posted on 10/19/2009

Quoting Ashley:

"I have two sons, the oldest child is 12 and my youngest is 11, and they are the same height and have the same shoe size. The only difference between them is the fact that my oldest son, for the most of his life, is heavier. They have attended 3 schools from kindergarden up to fourth grade. I made the decision last year i transfered both of my sons to a new but better school. Not long after they started. having problems with some of the boys there picking on him. I talked to the teachers, vice principle and principle. I suggested a meeting with students and sending fliers home to parent to make them awaire of bulling. The result was great and the school made a zero tolerence rule for bullying. Kids deal with enough negative this in this world. I believe more of our school's need to be reminded of that."

 

The sending of flyers to parents making them aware of the zero tolerance for bullying is a fantastic idea!  It's great that you are proactive with your child's school about bullying and that your son's school allows mediation. You are on the right track! Go mom! =)

Ashley - posted on 10/14/2009

I have two sons, the oldest child is 12 and my youngest is 11, and they are the same height and have the same shoe size. The only difference between them is the fact that my oldest son, for the most of his life, is heavier. They have attended 3 schools from kindergarden up to fourth grade. I made the decision last year i transfered both of my sons to a new but better school. Not long after they started. having problems with some of the boys there picking on him. I talked to the teachers, vice principle and principle. I suggested a meeting with students and sending fliers home to parent to make them awaire of bulling. The result was great and the school made a zero tolerence rule for bullying. Kids deal with enough negative this in this world. I believe more of our school's need to be reminded of that

Geralyn - posted on 10/14/2009

Quoting Kim:

"I don't have Bi-racial children but have relatives that are. I know that being bullied as a child regardless of why can be extremely damaging to the self esteem. My advice would be to really build your child up so she does not buy into the cold and harmful things kids may say. Tell her how beautiful she is and compliment her like crazy on a daily basis. It may help to get other family members involved as well. Maybe at some point she will be so overwhelmed with extra positive feedback from those who love her that the bullies will not affect her self esteem as she grows. I hope this helps:) Unfortunately we cannot control the heartless in this world but we can definetly control whats in the hearts of those we love."

 

Here, here, Kim!!  The best way to fight bullies is to instill self-esteem and confidence in our children AND it must be done early on into their childhood.  I've learned that once bullies (knowing that they, themselves are insecure with personal issues,) see the "don't-mess-with-me" attitude AND the self-confidence in your child, they will most likely back-off.  Of course, not all bullies will back-off, but most will stop.  Knowing how I was bullied during my childhood, I was able to take my experiences and pass them on to my daughter.  It also helps that she knows I am on her side giving her moral support, as well...especially if it means both of us resolving the issues with the bullies head-on in a constructive, non-violent manner.

 

I also suggest and highly recommend enrolling children into a Martial Arts program.  Martial Arts (in certain forms) help build confidence, discipline and endurance (mentally and physically,)  in your child.  Martial Arts also advocates self-defense, as opposed to resorting to physical violence (unless there is no other option, but to fight.)  My daughter has been taking Karate for several years now (she's 12 years old.)  Her dojo has a strict rule, during a confrontation, to defend (whether by communicating or blocking punches,) rather than to resort to physical violence.  By knowing Karate (or Martial Arts,)  I can see that my daughter has enough knowledge and confidence to "stand-up,"  (via verbally or physically) to any potential aggressor, child or adult.  To my knowledge, children can begin Martial Arts training in as early as 3-4 years of age, as I am aware that some dojos are offering classes for children that young. But check around for recommendations.

Geralyn - posted on 10/14/2009

Quoting Shannon:

"My daughter gets bullied all the time. She's Bi-racial and you can imagine what she must go through in school w/no other black or bi-racial kids. I hate bullies!!! I've complained to the school but every year the same group picks on her. I think I should be allowed to have a conference with me, the bullies, the parents of them and my daughter!!!! But since they won't let me do that, every time I see one of the bullies,I talk to them. Some apologize to her and some never admit it. But I take matters into my own hands most of the time."

 

Shannon, I completely understand what you are going through and what your daughter is going through. I was bullied because I was "different" from the group and being bi-racial is "different" in the eyes of other children. This should NEVER be condoned in school, let alone in society!  As a tax-paying citizen, (assuming your child goes to public school,) you have every right to expect your school and your school district to address this bullying problem regarding your daughter.  If the teacher or principle refuses to have a conference with you, the bullies and the parents of the bullies, then you may have to take your complaint to your local school district.  You must address to them that this is a form of "harassment" and that you may even take legal/criminal charges (IF, in the event that the problem escalates into "aggrevated assault.")  But, yes...Good for you for taking matters into your own hands, because you are only doing what a good mother should do...protecting your most precious asset!

April - posted on 10/14/2009

yes i have a 9 year old boy that is very sensitive, and some people say he stands out alot more to be picked on then other kids because of his size. But at one time his bully was his friend so i thought. My son had invited him to one of his birthday parties but he was not very nice at my house. He was making fun of my house and other things. Next thing i know he is picking on my son. It has been going on for over 2 yrs now. My son also has a counsellor to help him talk to me. He wouldn't tell me what his bully was doing to him only to my mother and friends. But anyway i talk to my son and explain to him how to deal with it in a proper manner. I have told my son to stick up for himself, meaning talking but no violence because it could get him caught and in trouble,but my son isn't a fighter only wrestles around with his brothers

Kim - posted on 10/14/2009

I don't have Bi-racial children but have relatives that are. I know that being bullied as a child regardless of why can be extremely damaging to the self esteem. My advice would be to really build your child up so she does not buy into the cold and harmful things kids may say. Tell her how beautiful she is and compliment her like crazy on a daily basis. It may help to get other family members involved as well. Maybe at some point she will be so overwhelmed with extra positive feedback from those who love her that the bullies will not affect her self esteem as she grows. I hope this helps:) Unfortunately we cannot control the heartless in this world but we can definetly control whats in the hearts of those we love.

Carmel - posted on 10/14/2009

Good for you for taking a stand maybe try approching the parent's as well maybe if they talk to there children as well.but most important don't let the bullies win

Beth - posted on 10/13/2009

Shannon, I can't imagine your frustration and I think you're doing a great thing by talking to the bullies when you get the chance. I find it totally unreasonable that they won't call a conference with all the parties involved. That seems to be something that would be very beneficial to all of the kids. It would show the bullies that their behavior is unacceptable and EVERYONE agrees on that. It would show your daughter that she has the support of a lot of people.

Shannon - posted on 10/13/2009

My daughter gets bullied all the time. She's Bi-racial and you can imagine what she must go through in school w/no other black or bi-racial kids. I hate bullies!!! I've complained to the school but every year the same group picks on her. I think I should be allowed to have a conference with me, the bullies, the parents of them and my daughter!!!! But since they won't let me do that, every time I see one of the bullies,I talk to them. Some apologize to her and some never admit it. But I take matters into my own hands most of the time.

Beth - posted on 10/13/2009

Mary, I absolutely agree with you! I've had to become a strong advocate for my children, both boys have autism, and I'm not liked by everyone, that's for sure. However, that doesn't concern me. As long as they are doing what needs to be done for my sons and protecting them then I don't have to be mama bear with them either. I have had to in the past. I was bullied in grade school and I will not allow my children to be!

Mary Markle - posted on 10/12/2009

My son also has autism and severe speech aproxia. He has a boy in school that steals everything he can get his hands on from my son because he knows he my son is unable to tell anyone. I have been into the principals office repeatedly. I believe that in addition to teaching our children to stand up for themselves, we must advocate for our children and make teachers, bus drivers and other school personal aware there is a problem. There is much more awareness about bullies and how to handle them now, than there was when I was being bullied in school. I will not tolerate it.

Traci - posted on 10/10/2009

My daughter has been bullied for two years now. The first child left at the end of last year and her friends have taken up the battle this year. My daughter is extremely dramatic and so when she reacts the teachers see her and only her because of her outburst. Then the bully gets away with their behavior. We are teaching our child to not be a victim. If she continues to blow a cork then the bullies win. We are trying to teach her that she does not have to take what this child is dihing out. She is learning to turn the comments around on the bully and to use sarcasm and intelligence to stop the harassment. Our biggest problem has been making the school see the problem and deal with the cause of our daughter's reactions instead of just her reactions.

Beth - posted on 10/09/2009

My son has autism and it doesn't occur to him to tell me when kids pick on him, call him names, hit him, or anything else. I have to ask 20 questions every day to see how his day at school went. It also doesn't occur to him that those kids are not his friends as he thinks that everyone is his friend. He will mimic word for word that comes out of an adults mouth about everyone in class being our friends, etc.