Domestic Violence & Suicide Prevention Resources

Charlie - posted on 04/22/2011 ( 57 moms have responded )

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Hello Beautiful Moms,



We'd like to announce that Circle of Moms has connected with organizations to support Moms who have reported thoughts/attempts of suicide as well as domestic violence on the site. These organizations can also connect you with resources locally to you. Apologies for the length of this post as I want to give you as much information as possible. Please feel free to copy and re-post any portion or all of this information in your communities.



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NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE / THE SAMARITANS

If you have encountered a direct threat of suicide on Circle of Moms, or if you are seeking support, we encourage you to contact the following:



National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (the Lifeline)

United States Residents: 1-800-273-TALK(8255)



The Samaritans

United Kingdom Residents: 08457 90 90 90



Republic of Ireland: 1850 609090



Other Countries: A list of suicide prevention hotlines can be found at either http://www.befrienders.org or http://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Ce...



Support from a friend can be instrumental in getting her the help she needs. Crisis workers at the Lifeline are available 24/7 and the call is free and confidential.



If you feel uncomfortable posting this information on the community, you can send her a personal message or you can also:



- Call the Lifeline or The Samaritans directly for guidance in how to support her.



- If you believe that she is in immediate danger of suicide (and you have contact information for her), please contact your local law enforcement.



We encourage you to learn about the warning signs of suicide as well as how to respond by visiting the following pages:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org...

http://www.samaritans.org/your_emotional...



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NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (NCADV)

If you have encountered a Mom on Circle of Moms who has reported domestic violence (including child abuse), or if you are in an abusive relationship, we recommend you contact the following:



National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

United States Residents: 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)

http://www.ncadv.org

For questions, resource materials or referrals, Moms can contact

Maria Luisa O'Neill

1-303-839-1852 ext. 109

mloneill@ncadv.org



American Domestic Violence Crisis Line

Americans residing overseas: 1-866-879-6636

http://www.866uswomen.org



Domestic Violence & Incest Resource Center

Australia Residents: 1800 200 526

http://www.dvirc.org.au



Shelternet

Canada Residents: http://www.shelternet.ca



Women's Aid

United Kingdom Residents: 0808 2000 247

http://www.womensaid.org.uk



Other Countries: A worldwide list of agencies against domestic violence can be found at http://www.hotpeachpages.net



If you or someone you know is in immediate danger (and you have contact info), please contact your local law enforcement.



For introductory information on what battering is:

http://www.ncadv.org/learn/TheProblem.ph...



For information on intimate partner violence and HIV/AIDS

http://www.ncadv.org/learn/DV%20and%20HI...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Natasha - posted on 03/15/2013

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Hi. You have to try to get to a shelter asap. Take your daughter and only 1 bag of necessities and make a run for it. Then you go to the police and file complaint and get a restraining order. You have to NOT think of yourself, job or anything else right now. Just get out of there please and DO NOT RETURN!! He will make all the promises in the world but NOTHING will change.

Shirley - posted on 01/18/2014

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My heart goes out to you. Let me say this I know of someone who cares his name is Jesus . When everyone else fails you he never does. Don't give up keep looking looking and calling shelters get one far away from where he lives and please do not tell him your plans be very wise and plan carefully. There is a shelter god has for you so keep searching and pray everyday for The Lord to deliver you. Jesus cares and love so much my dear. Tell no one your plan cannot trust anyone just keep searching and The Lord will show you the right place. Please don't give up

Melissa - posted on 12/24/2013

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Everyone says it's better to be out of a domestic violence relationship but what happens when the court believes the lies of the ex and says send the children? No one listens to the children except their mum's and unfortunately we still can't be free of the abusers because the law says it it in the best interests of the children to have a relationship with both parents.
The family law act gives abusers the right to keep on abusing, they just do it through the kids instead.
How is that in the best interests of the child?

Beatriz G - posted on 12/17/2013

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To all those women who are in abusive relationships....PLEASE...just LEAVE!!! Its hard.., & you might feel like it would be the end of the world, & wouldn't want to put your children through shelters, or staying at relatives/...I know..I was with my EX for 12 years..we have 3 girls together..I always put an excuse & couldnt leave bcause of the girls not having a dad..but..with a Dad hurting his mom physically & emotionally..i should of left before..! He stold my sweet years.!!!!! No girl deserves to go through this..neither the kids...so find sone strenght & run-away...life is too short to deal w a monster who has insecurities..& blames Us..for his faults..sincerely...B..G...T...who ever needs to chat..im open...:)

Lisa - posted on 06/20/2011

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As a surviving spouse of suicide, I would like to say that it is not something I would ever want any family to go through. My husband committed suicide September 2, 2009, and I still cry about it and wonder why. If you ever think that your family will be better off without you think again. Think of a time later on in life when your child, mother, father, sister, brother, or husband may need you to be there for them... if you have committed suicide you will not be able to be there for them. Also think of all the time you will have lost getting to see them grow up and all the money they will have to put into a funeral or even counseling so they may try to come to terms with why you have done what you did. It's not even so much the money aspect that gets me... It's more the fact that you won't be there for that child that loves you beyond any reasoning, your parents, your siblings, your spouse... Please think about what you are doing not only to yourself but to your loved ones. Please seek help if you feel there is no way out. ♥ Lisa

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57 Comments

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Jinell - posted 5 days ago

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I am so sorry for whatever Hardship that you have in your life. A child is the greatest gift and blessings. If the father is who you are hung up on, if he is making feel at your lowest than you have to swallow that mistake and march on. There are support and resources out there that will help you raise your little one...take it one step at a time because life is too precious. Appreciate you and love yourself first
so that you are able to love your offspring.

Jinell - posted 5 days ago

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Ladies take a deep breathe and think about the repercussions of the decisions and thoughts that jog through your mind...is it worth it to leave your children helpless and create an undefined hardship for their future. We are suppose to protect them and guide them and it is for they that make our worthwhile. Forget the men or
twisted fathers that take your goods for granted...never mind them assholes and strive for you and your kids and fight for their little lives because the rewards will be greater when they get older... Home is where the heart is.

Cheryl - posted on 07/29/2014

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Hi Crystal, so sorry for your sadness, I feel it so deep! I also have a 4 year old girl, and also does not want to listen, I am a first time mommy, so I am not too sure if it's just the age thing, but I am old fashioned, and I have a wooden spoon, that I call listen, and girl, this works like you will not believe? As far as failing all the time, this is life it feels like it, but it's how life keeps knocking us down, and it's to live, to see how well you get up and fight on. I have no one, no job no car, but let me tell you, I look at my daughter and that's my reason to keep fighting! Keep fighting girl! Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Cheryl - posted on 07/29/2014

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Hi Cara, I have just joined the site, sorry I was not here earlier! You should have lade a charge of assault first and foremost, why did you social worker not advice you to do that, I would seek a new social worker! Secondly you take your self to the Family courts in Jhb town, and go and get yourself a protection order! It's a hell of a form to fill out, but go and do it, you will get a court date, and he will have to appear, and if it's that bad, he will not be able to see the children, with out supervised visits! I would love to hang him by his balls, and throw him off a cliff! Best of luck. Xxxxxxxxx

Pamela - posted on 05/29/2014

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Im going through the sam thing but he has my kids and I try so hard to hold on

Naomi - posted on 05/28/2014

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hey
i dont know what your situation is, so i cant say much
i understand the feeling of being tired and so low you dont want to stand up let alone go on another day.
i had two children lukas 20 months and chiara who would have been almost 5 months now she passed silently at 15days old (sids)
i think about ending it daily but every time i see my sons smile i realise that i have someone who needs me and would be devastated it i jumped
i just want you to understand you mean the world to at least one person and she thinks your the best mum ever please think about her and how she would feel and how she love you
im not sure it im writing this for you or me (maybe i am just so i can get though today)
but stay strong
thinking off you on this day
love mother of two naomi

Tammy - posted on 04/30/2014

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That happened to me I went to court and they said that when he gets out he can see her once a month supervisee. If I was with him they threatened to take his rights away

Carla - posted on 04/22/2014

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Hi there I'm looking to have my girls dad rights revoked as he badly beat me up new year and broke my nose and my social worker said at first not to let him see them and now has changed his mined saying he has a right to see them as he is there dad but if I was still with him I would have had them taken away as there is several accounts of domestic violence between us were do I go from here please would someone help me I'm trying to do what's best for my children and I don't fill as thou anyone wont's to help me

Heather - posted on 03/30/2014

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My landlord raped !e then said he was going to kill my Sox year old son and rape !e again and make my hubby watch them kill is so I lwfted all !my stuff and got on plane and letter to !I but he got away with it because there was none of his DNA on me and I could put his ass on my home and even on me wtf I just don't understand why this happen to me and my family please watch who u rent from please please thank u

Heather - posted on 03/30/2014

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Hello I have seizures my son has seizure and he is austist and ADHD but !my son needs me so women that say they want die what about ur kids good lord go take a hot bath and get over it I have been through hell I was raped lefted my whole life on fl moved to mi with nothing how how

Agda - posted on 03/01/2014

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My daughter has seizures and is so hard for me to don't pass my worry and sadness please help

User - posted on 02/15/2014

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@ Crystal Brown... You're not alone in your feelings. There are a lot of us out here just barely going through the motions trying to hang on hoping everyday will be the day when your life will finally fall into place &you're better than ever. You know you're a strong capable person, but wish you could get a break to catch your breath & think about how to regroup & pull your life together with sound advice & assistance without the same frustrating pep talk about how you're so together & lucky to be you. I ve had anxiety & depression due to emotional abuse & living w/ an incurable chronic disease since I was 4yrs old. Anytime I got sick & needed to go to the hospital I would tell my mom how I felt, alomg with my wishes & hopes for the future. She'd reassure me I'd get better & then give me the pep talk about how lucky I was that I didn't have anything more serious like paralysis, blindness, you get the idea. My dad would tell me how intelligent and creative I was. Both however are deeply spiritual and couldn't end a peptalk without first telling me that the universe had very big plans for me. My destany would change everything. I just needed faith and strength. To this day it hurts that my own parents can't understand stand me or how I really feel. The older I get the more I pull away because I just can't stand the pep talks anymore.
The point is you need a break and help. When my kids were young I started talk therapy and antidepressants, and antidepressants, antianxiety meds. I don't know if you would go that way but it more than saved me. it took awhile to find the right combination but I finally did. This way is not a magic fix all. You'll feel good enough to keep going on. About your little girl. She's only 4 but the first 5 yrs are so important in the way they develop. Talk to her pediatrician for a start. Tell them the truth & that you need help in handling this problem.
I hope this helps a little. Just remember you always have choices. You're never trapped. There's always positive ways even if the solutions don't seem right @ that exact moment.
Please don't give up no matter how exhausted, frustrated, or bad you feel. Even though she seems like a handful now, getting the 2 of you help should be a number 1 priority. Once you 2 get back on track w/ each other is so so worth it. I wouldn't want the both of you to lose this precious time before she's in school full time, off w/ friends, after school activities. There's no time to have fun together, curling up on a cold rainy day to read to each other or to watch a funny show or movie & acting silly trying to make each other laugh. Those are the times when I was truly happy, being with my kids when they were babies, before they started school.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and hope you find what you need to get out of the hole you've fallen into.
Good Luck.


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Abigail - posted on 02/13/2014

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Bo - posted on 02/11/2014

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My exhusband is pyscho. He blames me
For everything and acts like an angel around others. Tells others that im the evil bitch.
He blames me for not allowing him to see our daughter by putting a restraining order on him. He blames me for going to jail bc i called the cops on him for beatig me and throwing beer bottles at me while im holding my 8 month old baby.
I gave him sooo chances to sober up so we can be a family but he chose shooting up meth over us.
Hes still doing the same thing today. Still on meth.
He even robbed our house (my moms house that im living at now after yhe separation) for drugs.
He never bought jessica anything. He still hasnt paid a cent for child support.
I have nightmares daily. Its been 6 months since our separation. I hate him. I wish he died.
But im thankful that im here with jess at moms house. She supports me 100%.
Everyday was torturous when i was living with him ..
How was i sooo blind to what kind of human he really was??! Even wwhen he beat me the first time, i thought he would never do it again. Boy was i wrong.
After he robbed our house and took everyything of mine and moms, i realized i will never be able to forgive him. Never ..

Im going counseling. I think it helps. I dont know. When will i be able to
Cope with these emotions better??

Crystal - posted on 01/29/2014

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I for one feel like giving up! This life that I'm living is overwhelming,im tired. I trying talking to family members i do trust. But they just tells me I'm strong and have a lot going for myself. But I'm tired of being strong! And everything i try to do i fail!!!! My four year old daughter don't listen and it drains me! I feel so depressed and helpless.

Sherrie - posted on 01/22/2014

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Thank you for this information. My first husband committed suicide and i wished I had some kind of support. I am glad I found you.and I hope this info help many women/men. Thanks again

Mary - posted on 01/20/2014

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Okay here it goes. I am divorced for ten years and still feeling as if I am being controlled. My ex husband agrees to things and once plans are made changes his mind and then makes demands in order for my children and I to do things. I have primary care of my children and final decision making if we have a disagreement or arguement. My daughter who is 11 will do anything for her dad in order to keep the peace and please mommy just do it. My ex husband has hit and verbally and emotionally abused me and my kids by bad mouthing me in front of our kids . His girlfriend does as well. I am not insecure of my bond with my children . I just fear get anxious and irritable when I need to make a request or change or try to do what the kids want in fear of being accused of parent Alianation. I am at my witts end and all I want is some inner peace and happiness. I am tired of living in fear that if I speak up and say no that he will be more verbal abusive to me or in front of my children. The judge has that he is not allowed to contact me what so ever and there are two family members being used as the go between. However it is very difficult for one of the go between a and causes a strain in our relationship. My parents are also hurting as they see what is going on but no matter what I try to do to stop the conflict it continues and the judge doesn't want to make a decision or bring my children into the process. I don't want to keep him from his kids as he does love them I just feel he doesn't have their best interest at heart and makes his decisions out of anger resentment and to hurt me. And all I want for my children is to be happy and feel love and secure from both parents and be able to have fun in their childhood years as I feel both of us have robbed that from them. Me for leaving in fear to make a decision and him for being so non compromise able. How can a judge expect a co parenting plan when you have no trust and fear your ex. But at the end of the day just pray ever night to stop this conflict and let the kids be kids they are 11 and 14 and should have say some say as they are capable of making decisions for themselves.

Shirley - posted on 01/18/2014

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You have to get out now if you want yo live and save your children one of the biggest mistake women do is to tell their abuser what's their plans never do that once you told him your plan about calling the police and he made sure he took everything he knows you need to leave car phone baby car seat when he leaves for work call afriend or family and leave far away in a shelter or a friend he does not know about. You have to run for your life may god send angles to get u out and save you, I am praying for you in the name of Jesus lord I pray tonight that you will deliver this mother and her children to safety lord you are the only one can help her so I call on you only . Make away for her to leave and no harm will come to her . U said lord when we call u will answer lord help to call your name because there is power in the name of Jesus amen Jesus loves you he cares and he knows your pain have a bless and safe night. The Lord will save and deliver you . Will be praying for you tonight and everyday

Shirley - posted on 01/18/2014

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Let me say first of all to you wonderful and courageous mom you had angels watching over u and your children. Thank The Lord you are alive. You did a great thing by leaving him and putting your children and you first. Those were not your true friends because true friends are there when u need them most . Let no one judge you until they have gone through the storm like you and your precious children have gone through then they will understand what The Lord have brought you through. Through your dark days and night when no one heard your cry your gravely father who cares and saw your tears and see your hopelessness he saved you where was everyone. Don't ever look back keep your eyes on the rock which is Christ Jesus . He saved you for a purpose. And yes you can and will make it. So many women did not make but u did. May god always provide for you and your children and give u peace that passes all under standing. Have a bless day

Shirley - posted on 01/18/2014

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This is a wonderful idea because so many women are been abused and have on one to ask for help. It seems we spend more time talking about movie stars and how to keep the women and children hungry . It's a disgrace his we treat our women and children may god bless you and show you in what way you can help

Chan - posted on 01/15/2014

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It took me years to finally leave my abusive relationship and when I did, my ex did not take it well. He found out where I moved to with our two kids and broke in with our daughter witnessing the whole thing! She is in counseling because of the things she witnessed him do to me and to her emotionally. Luckily our son was just a baby so hopefully wont be affected.It has been a year and a half since and its been nothing but a nightmare with court, attorney fees, etc. His threats got him slapped with a no contact order and supervised
visitation with our kids thank goodness. He's a sociopath and blames me for everything and acts like such a normal, sweet guy and really fools most people he's in associated with on the business side but all it would take is to look up his criminal record and see he's like Jekyll and Hyde. I've lost most friends because they never liked him from the beginning but I was too blind. I feel so strong now and I'm much happier for my kids and they are as well. So never think that you can't make it on your own because you can and will! If anyone is or has been in a situation like mine, feel free to chat. I don't have much adult conversation anymore so I'd welcome it!

Chloe - posted on 01/08/2014

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Hi,

A year and a half a go when my son was few months old.. I moved from the city to a small town as the city was too expensive on one wage and we couldn't afford the childcare if we both worked full time. Although it's beautiful here - beach, country side etc. I miss the city and my old friends SO much. The town has one eating place and a couple of stores and that is it. I've made a few friends and work a few mornings locally so I get out to peoples houses occasionally and work is a way to mix with people...but I miss the energy of the city, and the diversity . We live next door to the in laws and although they are nice and it's helpful, it can feel claustrophobic at times. We are an hour away from another bigger town, so if we want to do something more city like it takes up
most of the day. Even though we have grandparents to help babysit, I feel I've lost my independence. In the city we could give each other a half hour or hour break to go to the gym or go shopping or meet a friend for a coffee. I so miss meeting a friend who have a history with for
a good chat/heart to heart. Or just walking out my door and seeing city life. I love my son and spending time at the beach etc with him, but if I ever want to do something for myself my options are walk in the beach/country by myself and I do that all the time as a family. I just want do a yoga class, or a bit of shopping, catch a movie even if it was just walking through the city for half an hour. Then I feel guilty like I'm superficial wanting these things and be just be happy with nature like the people around here. I sometimes feel I don't fit in and I've never felt like that before. Thanks for listening mums. Money is also tight which can make things difficult.
Chloe.

Emma - posted on 12/26/2013

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I completely agree, the law just gives more power to the abuser and i agree that victims of domestic abuse can never fully be free due to this fact.

Angela - posted on 12/20/2013

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I been with my husband of common law for 10 years and its been all bad i have 2 children of my own and 2 by him . He so mean to the kids when hes mad at me . He try and control everything i do or want . Everything i have i share with him i have nothing that i can call my own he fights with my oldest daughter all the time for whatever reason. she has her ways to see if they're very good child she helps me with the other two all the time . he started off with friends with you and emotionally abuse . he's in and out of jail because of all the things that he does to me. for thistjis past year he change 45 percent of 100 but his mean hateful cursing all the time ht

Margo Marquez - posted on 11/27/2013

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I'm in a domestic marriage now ! I have heart desease and he always cusses at me and belittles me in front of my sons. Cuts dwn my relative that I have not seen in years talks about my dear father that has been gone for ten years . Only wants his family at the Apartment I pay rent at . He is my in home support person !!! He needs to report himself for abuseing me . Tonight was very bad why I awake I cry so much for my Children he really needs mental help I'm sick but not crazy ! I told him tyonight he is fired andhe said well you get the fu&*$k out !!!! B@@@ch . I'm really sick and need help .

Suzanne Potter - posted on 10/03/2013

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They have attorneys that do Pro-Bono work for women going through abusive situations. I had a friend who found one through the Welfare Service Department.
Is there a way you could make HIM move out of the house?

How many kids do you have? Just know that whatever your situation is, you can do it! You don't have to put up with someone treating you horribly!

All my Best!

Tammie - posted on 10/03/2013

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I seen lawyer. She wants $3500 upfront. No money. Made appt with another for Oct 15. In mentime nowhere to go. All shelters stay full. Problem is if a vacany comes I cant just leave at that moment. Hes disabled and home all the time. Seems get worse everyday.

Suzanne Potter - posted on 10/02/2013

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My Dear Tammie,
I can't tell you HOW many women who have read your post TRULY CARE about YOU! My heart goes out to you!

I was only 18 when I married my first husband who was physically and emotionally abusive to me. He would call me names, throw things at me, and hit me with the item. Pull my hair, push me down, or into things, tell me to "F-off when he came home from work and I would say "Hi, How was your day?" Many other things, but the straw that broke the camels back was when he started throwing wooden coasters at me when I was holding one of our little one's in my arms and trying to get away from him! He could have hurt our son! He had never done anything to the kids, other than start fights with me, and I fought back, believe me… or if it was really bad I would get the kids and leave. I decided I didn't want my kids growing up thinking that that was "NORMAL" and that is how married people treat each other! Or even just men and women treat each other! NO WAY!
It took me 5 1/2 years to finally leave, with two babies in tow… I was only 23 years old, but I had my parents to go to. It was still difficult because my mom and I didn't get along, but it was a place to stay, and it was my family. I was very scared to leave because I didn't know what I would do… I didn't have a College degree, I had worked since I was 11 on our Ranch for my parents, and then got a job as soon as I was 16 working several different retail jobs in clothing stores in the Mall, putting clothes on the racks and working the cash register. I also worked fast food in a couple of places! lol! My husband was in the Air Force, so we moved to the state right next to ours and I worked as a "Cashier" in the Base Exchange, (retail store with all kinds of items) and Commissary, (Air Force Base Grocery Store) as a "checker." After my daughter was born, I just couldn't go back to work, so I babysat and made crafts and sold them to help bring in money. When I would think about leaving,
I couldn't see how I was going to get a good enough job to raise two kids on my own with those skills! The final PUSH I needed to actually LEAVE HIM came from a good friend who knew what was going on. She very FIRMLY told me "YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU WILL DO THIS, AND YOUR KIDS, AND YOU, DESERVE A BETTER LIFE THAN WHAT YOU ARE LIVING NOW!"
That just resonated with me and stuck with me because SHE was RIGHT!!

Do not sell yourself SHORT Tammie! I CARE! There are SOOO many women that CARE, you don't even know! Its like a "Sisterhood!" There are so many support groups out there, you will be surprised!

I just joined this group yesterday, so I am wondering what the ATTY said?
Do you have health care? If you do you should go to the doctor and get on Antidepressants! There is NO stigmatism to them anymore, and they HELP!!
You can ask your doctor about resources for abused and battered women. They should know! If not the doctor, the girls at the front desk should know something, or someone… It is SOOO much more common than you think! There are so many women that this affects and whether someone tells you or not, it could be the checkout girl at the grocery store, or her mom, or aunt. Or like I said one of the girls in the doctors office, or their mom, or aunt, or friend… and all it takes is a LITTLE COURAGE to OPEN UP about it. You don't have to SPILL your guts, just a question about what they might know… a support group…
If you have health care, you should see a psychologist. I saw one for years and LOVED IT! I saw a psychiatrist for my medications, and psychologist to talk about all of my issues that I needed help with! I would still be seeing both of them, but we moved.

You DO NOT DESERVE to be ABUSED by ANYONE! The reason he takes his CRAP out on you is because it is "Safe" to "UNLOAD" on the Closest Person to you (and that would be you, for him)… Learned that through Therapy, I have that situation going on in my marriage too! It's a bunch of CRAP, and NO ONE should have to PUT UP with it!

I am HERE FOR YOU!! I CARE ABOUT YOU, even though I don't know you… It doesn't matter to me! I do CARE!! Please believe me! Anyone who has been through the same situation, or is going through a similar situation CARES! Unless you are a CLOSED UP NON HUMAN!!

Please write me back and let me know how you are!! We need to find you some resources and get a plan together for you! You DESERVE to BE HAPPY MY FRIEND!!

The best email to get me at is: suzanne.potterthomas@yahoo.com I have a different one that I signed up for on here but we are going to be moving soon and I don't know if we will have AT&T again after we move.
Of course if you feel more comfortable talking on here, that is fine… I just want you to know that I CARE! And I KNOW there are Other's that CARE!! And we can get you HELP! SO please don't give up HOPE!!

HUGS!
suzanne

Tammie - posted on 09/24/2013

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I'm currently in an emotional abusive marriage. I have an appt with an attorney tomorrow. I don't work he won't let me. I've called shelters near by and they are always full. I have nowhere to go. No friends. I don't want to be here. Guess I'm just looking for support. I'm so lonely and depressed. The city I live here has no resources. Feel nobody cares.

Wendy - posted on 04/23/2013

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Hi Natasha,

Thank God, everything is going good so far and yes; still going strong. Thank you

Wendy - posted on 03/25/2013

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Hi Natasha, just wanted to give you an update on my situation. I took your advice, I packed my things and my daughter's clothes and left. Thank God I have the family of a friend that they took me in their home. It's been more than a week now since I left home, and I feel so much better, I already feel like I can start breathing again. Now I'm starting to think about the future that I want to offer my daughter, even looking for programs to finish my Master's degree. I want to thank you for your advice, and wanted to let you know that we are save and moving on from this situation.

Thank you.

Wendy - posted on 03/15/2013

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Hi! I need help. I am married and have a 4 month old daughter. My husband abuses me mentally and physically. I'm in a situation, that I don't know how to get out of here. I have no job and nowhere to go. I am so desperate, that most of the time I think that the solution for me would be just to kill myself, and he even told me to go ahead and do it, even gave me some pills do I would take them. Just today he was pushing me around and hitting me. He started drinking, and when he gets like that I try to leave him alone, even get away from him, because he gets very aggressive. I try to leave the house, but take my keys, my wallet and even my phone.
One time when I was pregnant, he didn't want me to go to sleep, and he kept following me around the house, even thought I was trying to sleep even on the floor, and I said that I was going to call the cops, an he took my phone and broke it. Then he started hitting me. I tried to get a divorce after that and in Texas you can't get divorce if you are pregnant.
So I stayed because right after that I lost my job, because of him. I've always been very responsible, never had any problems with anybody, or no even fights with any ex or arguments, I always try to walk away to cool off. But with my husband, if I try to do that he would lock me in the bathroom or in the closet.
Now I have my daughter, and I had hopes that things were to get better after the pregnancy, but it didn't. He even hit me two weeks after I gave birth and pushed me so hard that I fell on the floor and my stitches came off. My mom was here, and had to see that, how embarrassing, her only daughter being treated like that. And not only that, he kicked me and mom out of the house, and he didn't let me take my daughter with me.
Today is the same story, I even thought of leaving and maybe sleep in the car, but he took my documents and my daughters car seat. How can I leave without her? He doesn't even wakes up when she cries at night! And he is so drunk.
I really really don't know what to do, he threatened to kill me if I take my baby away, and that if I get a divorce he will try to make a case against me to take my baby.
I don't know what to do. And I really need to get out of here.

Natasha - posted on 02/17/2013

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Hi there. Just want to know if you and kids are okay? Just recently read your post and worried. Nobody should be in this kind of situation..especially children!

Tina - posted on 04/17/2012

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Ii have been abused and my children by violence from my husband.everykind he has done.I had ihad him arrested in05.he had probation and anger man.all of that.but it seemed after his probation he was worse.he always anger and violent and it was always toward me.istayed cause he threatendif I left what would happento me.he found out that I was going to leave for he always had me followedand tracked my phones.last year he went to court and filed to have me leave my home.I have told the court how he was violentand showed documents.I was still out oft home for the judge said to protected yet she allowed the kids to stay with him.iwas told not until the divorce hearing and custody could something b done
Where he knew he would lose.he filed for a hearing withoutme knowing
And lied to the court saying I abused the children.and what I had him.he was granted the divorceand custody. I've gone for another hearing and have to wait.can I still get the divorce overturned on grounds of abuse.and get my kids away from
Him.he is still abusive. Violent and abused liquor around my kids.his so called friend who now lives with him and my kids does drugsand other inaporiate things.my kids have now picked up some of their things and worse they use and they r12and8.and he spends no time wit them just for her.can I still get everything overturned.they can have each other ijut want them.PS
ihave called some of those hotlines.and they toldmethat there much they can do where he hasn't hasn't us phiscially.can someone pplz
If you can help me.or tell me how ican.their lives and mine depend on it.he has told my kids what he would if the talked.and he told me he would make sure I'm gone for good.

Smash - posted on 03/26/2012

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This is a ridiculous thing these days. So many TV Shows running to highlight this issue. We need to take all the possible actions against it.

Cindy - posted on 11/18/2011

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I would just like to say that I was in an abusive relationship in the past, prior to having kids. My ex attacked me and my home and the police were called. I didn't really have the strength to peruse it at that time but the police insisted on charging him, I found that they were able to regardless of how I felt about it. I had to move out of my home and into my parents house and let my ex live in my home until he was eventually evicted by the police. I still didn't move back in though. The case went to court and I found that they were not sending him on an anger management course, as they have found that this can make the problems worse instead of better. Instead of an anger management course they were planning on sending him on a course especially for domestic abusers. I was quite surprised by that so I thought it's worth mentioning. I have no idea if the course took place or worked, I thanked my lucky starts that he was not allowed to contact me and moved on.

Christian - posted on 11/09/2011

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Thanks this is a help for me. I am doing research on domestic violence . I hate it when a guys or any person think they can prey on another person just to try to control them. I

Marie Jayne - posted on 10/19/2011

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Thank you sooo much for posting all this information very helpful and valuable..

I had a very abusive stepfather, and did actually consider suicide. Then i thought of all the hurt and upset it wouldve caused my mum so thankfully i didnt go ahead. Sadly i lost my mum to Lung Cancer last September and found things extremly hard but ive got my beautiful daughter to keep me strong and focused. Tho it could've been a different story if it wasnt for her.

Rati - posted on 09/20/2011

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Thank you .....much needed information. I have considered suicide but I thank God I did not go through with it. I have found so much meaning in my life knowing and being led by Christ. I thank God for the faith in me which has moulded me to be a stronger and better person. More people need to find that inner strength to beat negative feelings about presenting situations. With God - we can do all things - including overcome difficult situations.

Gabrielle - posted on 06/27/2011

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Suicide is not even an option in my book. I'm sorry for your loss. There has to be a terrible amount of pain.
All of this information is definitely helpful. Please find what works for you.
The only suggestion I can make is to ask yourself what are you supposed to learn from this?,How are you going to help others in the same situation?
Please realize that Everything happens for a reason. It's your choice to figure out what to do with what you're given...the possibilities are endless. Noone really gets to decide to end a life. Every life is a miracle.
I know it's not always easy to see that. Sometimes it takes a stranger telling you, sometimes a family member... Either way, please seek help. Other people can help, seek them and you will find them. God bless you. He never gives you more than you can handle. If it seems like too much, then please ask someone to help you. Amen.

Katie - posted on 06/02/2011

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This information needs to more widely available. I was in an abusive relationship until just over two years ago and I had help from a health visitor :-)

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