Dressing Twins Alike...

Jaime - posted on 06/01/2009 ( 27 moms have responded )

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I was watching a show tonight and there was an interview with celebrity Chef, David Rocco (I think that's his name anyway) and he and his wife were pictured with their twin girls. What bothered me about the girls, was that they were dressed exactly the same. Same outfit, same hair style, same, same, same. Two of my younger siblings are twins (girls) and my mother did this as well. Interestingly enough, no matter how alike they were dressed, my sisters were as different as night and day. So, what I'm wondering is, if we know that twins are individual, why do we dress them alike? Why this urge to match their wardrobes. And I suppose this doesn't just go for twins, I have seen many sets of multiples sporting matching duds...just curious as to why this is common practice?

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My nieces aren't twins and my SIL is CONSTANTLY dressing them the same. They're 3 years apart and it's ANNOYING. My mom is so afraid to buy them clothes because if she can't find the same outfit for both of them, she thinks my SIL will be mad. It's fucking ridiculous.

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Sarah - posted on 05/14/2012

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My sister and I used to fight a lot as adolescents. I believe now it had to do with each of us trying to prove how different we were to everyone we knew, that somehow not getting along would show them. I know now that it is okay to like something that is the same and it doesnt change who I am, but as teenagers, its hard to see that, when you both say you like the same thing, then people are like, "oh, youre so alike!" i would never say that about 2 different people, yet somehow its socially acceptable to do it with twins.

Dove - posted on 05/14/2012

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Thanks for that perspective, Sarah. I've seen the exact opposite with a set of identicals that I am extremely close to, so was just wondering. I do remember a set of identical twin boys that I knew ages ago that actually hated each other and I always wondered about that too. I guess the dynamics of each particular 'set' is just as varied as the dynamics of each individual. :)

Sylvia - posted on 05/14/2012

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My sister used to get her kids matching/coordinating outfits to have family photos taken in (her kids aren't multiples -- they're now 31, 17, and almost 13). Lots of people coordinate outfits for photos, which I think is often very cute. It only gets creepy if you make your kids dress alike all the time. If I had twins I don't think I'd dress them alike; for one thing, I'm SO not organized enough! :P But I wouldn't stop them if they wanted to do so.

At a certain point, every kid is going to stop wanting to wear the clothes Mummy picks out. Some kids hit that point before age 2, some don't hit it until they're school age, but they all get there. I confess find parents who insist on picking out their kids' clothes practically into adolescence a bit peculiar. Parents of twins who make them dress alike perhaps somewhat more so. But who knows, maybe the kids like it.

Sarah - posted on 05/14/2012

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Yes we are identical. I have spent 1/2 my life trying to defend my individuality. It may seem like a minor thing to some people, but this is only one way twins individuality gets lessened. There are some things you cant change, such as having to share every birthday, but there other things you can. It may seem cute to people, but it strips them of their identity. Just because you get matching outfits as a gift doesnt mean that you have to put them on them at the same time. I dont think most singletons can truly appreciate the gift that individuality is. Its your identity, who you are as a oerson. If you strip that away by not seeing them as individuals, what do you have left?

Shawn, your comments are insensitive. Unless you are a twin yourself and have had to share everytging in your life, your face, your birthday, your clothes, etc. You have no clue how it feels to constantly defend your own identity as an individual. Everyone has that right, and its ignorant comments like that that continue to strip multiples of their individuality. It may seem cute to you to do it once in a while, but it does affect you when its done every day of your life.

Shawnn - posted on 05/14/2012

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How funny. People getting upset because some choose to dress their children in identical outfits!

I guess if that's all we have to worry about, then we're all good, right?

I mean, its SO important to worry about what parents dress their kids in, and even MORE important that we be concerned that somehow, by dressing kids in matching outfits we are somehow hurting their emotional growth...

Great laugh! BTW, not only do my kids dress in matching outfits (of their own accord)...they are not twins, they are 3 years apart, and when we go on vaca, we ALL dress in matching outfits!

Easier to find in a crowd. That's the whole reason. When they were little, it was because they were cute in matching outfits, and big brother would be upset if little brother didn't look like him. They like to be matching for family photos, and for any time we're on a group outing.

Oh, and they're 17 & 14.

Sarah - posted on 05/14/2012

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As a twin myself, I agree with you. My Mom did when we were babies, but we picked our own clothes from the time we were 3, and we had totally different styles. Having said this, gifts we got that were clothing would still often be the same, even in high school. Personally, I think a lot of people do this to showcase the uniqueness of twins, but I believe it categorizes them by a condition of their birth instead of recognizing them for the beautiful individuals they are. The worst thing someone can do is strip a twin or multipke of their individuality. This is expressed as we age through our dress. I also hate being referred to as "the twins" or being asked what its like to be a twin. I have a name, as does my sister, please use them, it identifies us as who we are, when people bundle us together, they take away our identities. Whats it like? Whats it like to be a singleton, or have red hair, or brown eyes? I know none of these things, yet I dont go asking people what its like. Its all they know. I just try to educate people on how to treat people who were orn as a multiple birth. Dont take away who they are, recognize they are individuals before you recognize them as a twin, allow them to be themselves, dont group them together, dressing them the same does this, and please dont ask them stupid questions or assume they are the same because they arent and the dumb questions get tiring really quick.

Agnieszka - posted on 05/14/2012

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Well I have a 11 month old twin baby girls that I love to dress the same. I believe that by dressing them the same I will prevent them being jelouse of each other or compete all the time. What if one will think I dressed the other girl in a nicer outfit. Well, I'm sure the girls will let me know when when the time comes, if they like to be dresses same, similiar or completely different. And in regards to developing different personalities just look at the school kids in the same school uniforms- do they have the same personalities because they are dressed in the same way????? I hope the point was made.

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Ugh, this thread popped up in the bottom corner so I clicked on it and commented. I wondered why JL was posting this convo in this community and then I realized that it's from 2009. Gah.

Veronica - posted on 06/27/2011

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It's fun. Until they protest, why not. It's like being on the same team. That's all. So much more to worry about in the world...

Jaime - posted on 06/02/2009

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My sisters are twins and they didn't get any more or less well-treated than the rest of us. I just wonder if the mentality of dressing multiples the same is because of the overlying genetic factor? Multiples are not 100% alike, their DNA comes close to 100% but falls just shy of it anywhere in the 90 percentile (and too only if they are identical and shared a placenta). My sisters are 97% identical...does that mean they should dress 97% identical so that they are treated equal? Equal treatment of a person does not mean that people are treated the same...

Chastity - posted on 06/02/2009

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I am a twin and I think that's exactly what the parents of twins should do. My sister and I look at quite a bit of things differently. But, growing up, we never felt that one was getting special treatment. We never felt that one of us was loved , more than the other.

Shawndra - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have triplet boys, and when I was pregnant with them I swore to myself and anyone who asked that I would never dress them alike, because I felt they'd each be unique and should be dressed uniquely. And then . . . I had to eat my words (probably like a lot of things I've sworn to never do as a parent). Quite a few of the outfits we received from friends and family were matching outfits, or matching in all but the color. So I dressed them alike for pictures, and thought they were so cute! Especially since the boys aren't identical, and dressing them alike emphasized their differences.

Besides pictures though, we started out dressing them differently. But then we ran into a couple of other reasons we ended up dressing them alike when we went out. One of our three boys is smaller than the other two, and dressing them all alike saved on A LOT of questions from people everywhere they went. Whenever they were dressed differently, we were asked many variations of 'you had your third really fast after the twins, didn't you?' or 'is this the little brother?' or 'how old are your twins, and how old is your littlest one?' (etc). Instead, with them dressed all alike, we'd just get a few turned heads and the occasional 'are these triplets?' So dressing them alike was a real sanity saver!

Once my boys were walking (and running!!), when we went anywhere it was going to be crowded, like company bbq's, carnivals, etc., dressing them in at least the same shirt (and preferably something bright) made it easy to count heads and make sure they were all in sight. Now they're 3 1/2 though, and at least one of them is very particular about what he likes to wear, so now we don't really dress them alike except when we need to spot them quickly in crowds.

On the question Aime had, even though my boys look so different now, when they were babies they were very hard to tell apart, so we marked their initials with a magic marker on their feet. And then we realized that in order to give them their medications, feedings, etc., we'd have to undress them out of their footsy pj's to see for sure which one it was, so (you'll laugh) we marked their initials behind their ear.

Kara - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have twins and sometimes I dress them alike and sometimes I put them in different outfits. I also buy the same style of clothes but in different colors so they dont match "exactly". I find it easier to dress them the same b/c it makes buying the clothes and washing them easy for me. I know I have 2 sets of the shirts and 2 pairs of pants....

Jaime - posted on 06/02/2009

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That is my thinking as well...I don't know why it has become 'cute' to dress multiples alike..or even siblings that are close in age. When children are very small we choose their wardrobe according to weather and occassion because clothing is necessary. When children begin to show interest in picking out their own outfits however, I think the choice should then be given over to them. It doesn't matter if they want to wear spider man pyjama bottoms and a raincoat to school...they will eventually learn how to dress appropriately according to what they like and choose. I have no ill feelings toward parents that dress their children alike, just wanted to offer a different frame of thinking behind the whole "because it's cute" response.

Jeanne - posted on 06/02/2009

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I think a lot of parents because they think it is cute to dress their twins alike. I think as babies and toddlers it isn't to bad, but once the kids start expressing themselves about what they like and do not like then it should end. I've known twins that are so much alike it is scary and I've known some that are night and day so I think that the parents have to evaluate the needs and wants of the child over what is "cute" or "trendy".

Sara - posted on 06/02/2009

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My twin girls are 5. I have always dressed them alike but in different colors. Even now when they go to school they wear the same outfits but different colors. But no it's a choice for them. They like to wear the same thing, but don't like wearing the colors. It's probably cause that's how I've always dressed them. No particular reason. They're just cute that way. If they choose to wear different outfits now I wouldn't care. (Except maybe on holidays or family get togethers when I want them to look extra cute. :)

Delphine - posted on 06/02/2009

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My girls are twins. They are 10 now with their own personalities, different taste and dislikes in clothes. They do occassionally dress alike but it is their choice. Although on special occasions I say please wear the same outfit. You look so cute! LOL!
When their babies you can't help but just dress them alike. Although I had them wear different colours so I knew who was who.
I can't wait to see how they dress as teenagers.
Delphine Woodburn

Jaime - posted on 06/02/2009

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I just want to clarify that my inquiry has nothing to do with 'right' or 'wrong', everyone has the choice to dress their children how they like...just curious why the mentality toward multiples is to dress them alike, almost as if to suggest that they are the same and are not individual.

Anne - posted on 06/02/2009

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When my boys (who are now 10 yrs old) were little I tried not to put them in matching outfits, but sometimes it's just easier. I always tried to at least put them in different colors so other people could tell them apart, including their Dad! But your right they are different people, let them have their own idendity. My boys now would NEVER dress the same.

Betsy - posted on 06/02/2009

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I have twins, and I am married to a twin, so I asked him his thoughts on this when we had ours. It is cute when they are little, but as my husband explained, that cuteness of dressing them alike should end at school age (whether preschool or kindergarten). As babies it is fine, but once they start realizing who they are and their place in the world, it's embarrassing for them. So when they go to school, matching stops here.

With my 2 yr olds, once in a while they will be dressed alike, but usually it is the same outfit, while Anthony in a red or blue version and Jesse in a green or yellow version.

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I have twins and occasionally dress them alike for park days...easier to identify in a group setting. However both girls have different personalities and prefer diff colors. When you have twins it is easy to tell them apart...for me it is because I know my kids better than the back of my hand. So dressed alike or not, either works. Nothing wrong with it and some days they love dressing the same...its more a fun-pretty thing.

Michelle - posted on 06/02/2009

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It is cute on occasion. My daughter and her best friend have a matching outfit that they wear together once in a while and they absolutely LOVE it.

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I do it occasionally with my kids who are not twins. I think they look cute. However, I would never, even with twins, do it all the time. It also makes them easy to find when you are out. If we are going somewhere crowded I will put all the my kids in matching shirts so I can see them easier.

Amie - posted on 06/01/2009

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I have no idea but I often wonder how the parents tell them apart. Do they have birthmarks we can't see? Is there something subtle way they mark them? LOL I've been around a few twins and when their babies it is harder than when they are older to tell them apart.

Amie - posted on 06/01/2009

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I have no idea but I often wonder how the parents tell them apart. Do they have birthmarks we can't see? Is there something subtle way they mark them? LOL I've been around a few twins and when their babies it is harder than when they are older to tell them apart.

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