ear piercing

Kim - posted on 11/22/2009

Children are a beautiful gift from God! Regardless of you being married or not; if you are in a relationship then you need to come TOGETHER and make these decisions for what is the right and best thing for your child. With that being said, I am still against you parents for "doing things to your child's body" just because you think that it will be cute or just because it's something that YOU WANT! You are wrong to take away your child's right to make that choice for herslf. And to you Moms that go behind your husband/boyfriend's back, knowing that he is against it, you are dishonest and disrespectful to him!!! Keep doing stuff like this, no matter how petty you may think it is; you want have him long term.

Melissa - posted on 11/22/2009

He has a point. If they want to have them pierced they will tell you and when they dont know what is going on then it could scared them even more then the pain of getting them pierced.

Amanda - posted on 11/22/2009

Well, it is gonna happen, she will ask. My husband was the same way and sure enough when she was almost 4, she wanted her ears pierced. she screamed and yelled but she loves her earrings. I wish I would have done it sooner. Good luck!

Jodi - posted on 11/22/2009

We got our daughters ears pierced when she was 9 months. They did them both at the same time and she did great! Yes she screamed but as soon as we left the store she was done! They were red for about an hour and then it was fine! To this day she doesnt even mess with them! As long as you keep them cleaned and washed, you should be fine!

Tracy - posted on 11/21/2009

I only have boys but I have lots of nieces. They all get their girls ears pierced early because it hurts only for a few seconds and they don't remember the pain. Where the older children remember and they have a tendancy to pull and yank on their ears. Hope this helps!

Amber - posted on 11/21/2009

some of you are taking this way out of hand i had mine pierced when i was two months old and if i had a little girl i will have hers pierced at two months old just like all of my nieces. In my state if your not married to the father he basically has no right to decisions like this. I just pierced my 6 yr old twin boys ear because they asked for it and I have taken a whole lot of drama over it and I look at it this way as a parent its your decision until they are 18 they have to have your permission to do anything even get shots in a way this is just another shot go with your gut and do what you feel is right

Kim - posted on 11/18/2009

How is it your right to make that decision for her? Just because YOU are her parent? That is not your call. She should be able to make that choice and have that free will since it is HER body. Give her the chance to make her own decisions for her own body!!!

Yes, we are responsible for our children well being, but not to take advantage of them and do things to their bodies because it's something we want. That is wrong! Give that child the chance to make her OWN CHOICE!!!

Ruth - posted on 11/18/2009

Quoting Erin:

ear piercing

My daughter is 4 months old and i really want to pierce her ears. My husband on the other hand is totally against it until and i will quote him "She can tells us" i really dont see a problem with it i was two weeks old when my mom did mine and my niece who is almost 2 had hers done at 5 months. How do i make him understand or convince him its ok?

Quoting Ruth:

I really understand what you are going through.  My husband fought with me with both my daughters to pierce their ears.  He said that if it was meant to be part of their body it would have been.  Finally I did it when they turned 3 and he had to live with it.  Just go for it.  He won't be cross forever.  My husband got over it very quickly. 

Tasia - posted on 11/17/2009

Just talk to him. Explain why you want them to be pierced and maybe he will change his mind.

Cheryl - posted on 11/17/2009

Did you consider if your daughter might want them done when she is older i really think you should of waited until she told you that she wanted them done.My daughter is 4 years old and her ears are not pieced i am waitin til she is old enough to ask then i will explain what happens and that she has to look after them i think my little girl is cute without earrings. i don't agree that you went a head and got them done without consulting your partner he has the same rights as you as a parent and that intern can take away trust in a relationship and respect as you did not consider his feeling.

Joanna - posted on 11/17/2009

Quoting rika:

Don't worry about hubby get it pierced an he will be fine. Its better to get it done now cause later it will be more painful. an your hubby will still love u :)

are you sure about that?

When a man feels his opinion isn't respected, he loses a lot of respect himself... could eventually ruin the relationship.

let's face it - this really isn't about ear piercing.  This is about whether or not you should go behind your husbands back and do something he doesn't want.  What's more important - peircing your daughter's ears now vs in a few years, or your relationship with your spouse?

Rika - posted on 11/17/2009

Don't worry about hubby get it pierced an he will be fine. Its better to get it done now cause later it will be more painful. an your hubby will still love u :)

Janet - posted on 11/17/2009

I think that at 4 months old they don't feel the pain nor do they really tug on thier ears. My husband didn't want my daughters ears done at 2 months then when she turned 2 yrs old I told him that I am taking to get them done and he was fine with it. I would have preferred to have them done when she was younger cuz at 2 she cried and it was very hard to get her to sit still to turn them and to clean them. When my daughter has her girl we will be piercing her daughters ears pierced at 4 months.

Jennifer - posted on 11/17/2009

I agree with your husband. You will be inflicting pain on your daughter for something that YOU want. Some people think tatoos are cute, but you wouldn't subject her to that would you? This is HER body, wait until she is old enough to want them, to understand that it will hurt and be old enough to take care of them.

Cassie - posted on 11/17/2009

I absolutly agree that you should take into consideration your husbands opinion!!! You also probably shouldn't make any decisions until you can agree upon something! Does he have a reason or just doesn't want it done? My husband and I had to sit and have the same talk before we got our daughters ears done. He wasn't so sure and thought that we should maybe wait. After we talked to her Dr. and got his opinion and reasons as well as many other family and friends, he agreed that we should go ahead and do it early. Talk about it...and get family and friend reasons why or why not, then make the best choice for you guys!! :o)

Deb - posted on 11/17/2009

I had my daughters ears pierced when she was around 1 year. She is now 5. She has pulled her earrings out more times than I can count. I kept asking her to let me put them back in. We have replaced the earrings many times and she keeps taking them out. I guess I've been a little slow to admit, but she doesn't want them and I wish I had waited until she is older and asks for them. I will now let them close up and she can get them repierced when she's a pre-teen. Good luck with your decision.

Courtney - posted on 11/17/2009

I think you should respect his opinion. It is his daughter too. Put yourself in his shoes, what if he wanted her to have her hair cut and you didn't and he went and did it anyway? Wouldn't you feel a little betrayed and offended?

Cassie - posted on 11/17/2009

I agree with you. My daughter is 2 1/2 and I got hers done when she was 4 mo. old. I was told the same thing as teh other gal by the pediatrition, if your going to do it eventually, do it now, the younger the better.

I think it is better when they are younger as they don't remember the hurt. They feel it, but I think that the esound of the piercing gun scares them more. She barely even cried when they did it, plus she never messed with them teh I have heard older kids do. Now she loves to wear all kind of "pretties" as she calls them. We can change them every day if she wants to. When they are older they have to leave them in for quite a while without changing them, kind of a bummer. Doubtfull that she would regret them, but even if she did she could justa take them out!!

Theresa - posted on 11/17/2009

As parents, it is not only our right but our responsibility to act in the best interest of our minor children. Parents needs to weigh the pros and cons of every situation and act accordingly. We are not talking about a tattoo or something permanent. If her parents choose to get her ears pierced and she later doesn't like it, she can remove the earrings and the holes will eventually close. Ultimately, whether she is 4 months old or 12 years old, it will still be her parents choice as they will need to consent for her to have it done.

Kim - posted on 11/17/2009

Personally! It is not yours or his decision to make. It is your daughter's. When she is old enough to know these things, let her make that call. We as parents should STOP taking our children's "rights" from them.

Theresa - posted on 11/17/2009

In your defense, I don't know any women that don't have their ears pierced, so if your husband is afraid that your daughter might regret having it done prior to her consent, that would be highly unlikely. I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was 2 months old upon the advice of her pediatrician. He told me that if I was going to do it eventually, the younger the better. He explained that older children tend to touch and play with their new piercing causing infection. I had it done that day right in my pediatrician's office. My daughter is now 19 and still loves her pierced ears.

Kylie - posted on 11/17/2009

a friend of mine waited until her daughter asked for them to be done, wen we took her in we asked the piercer to do both at the same time so she would only have to deal with the gun 1c, she jumped wen the guns went off but didnt cry, coz she was 4yrs at this stage it was easier to get her to understand how to look after them and her ears, she would make sure evry morning and night she would use her cleaning solution and her ears never got infected,

I feel its better to wait until the child asks for it, and can understand that they need to be taken care of.

Maybe u and hubby need to sit down and discuss this further, and explain y you both feel the way you do, and go from there, ur not goin to get anywhere by both of you diggin in ur heels.

Tracey - posted on 11/17/2009

I have to agree with sum of the others and I had ex'mother tellin me to get mt dghtrs ears done and I to think that aiting till they can take care of them on their on is better. Don't we have enuf n more important things to take care of as moms n new mom w our babies, why add that on? Also I feel one should have the rt to choose if they want their ears pierced or not - it's unnecessary pain or discomfort esp if they get infected that they should go thru - well gd luk on whatever your decision is - Remember pierced ears wont make ur girl anymore adorable than she alredy is!!

Danielle - posted on 11/17/2009

I was about seven when my ears got pierced. About two weeks after that my little cousin wanted to see my earrings and ripped one out of my ear, can I say OUCH!!!!! I still remember the trauma I went through, and the rip is still in my ear, my hole is attached by a little peice of skin. Needless to say I can't wear earrings in that hole.
Also I got my daughters ears pierced when she was 2 the holes lasted a year then one got infected her earrings are out but the scar remains.

Christi - posted on 11/16/2009

i think it is completely irresponsible to pierce your child's ears at such a young age. the only reason it would be done is so you can feel better about your baby being 'pretty'. you need to wait until she is old enough to ask for them. what if she grows up and decides that she doesn't want holes in her body? not to mention she could possibly pull them out and permantly disfigure her ears. she needs to be old enough to understand not to pull them out and to understand how to properly care for them on her own. my mother waited with my sister and i until we were ten and i know if i had a girl i would wait.

Angie - posted on 11/16/2009

I agree with your husband. It's really unfair to a child to give her the responsibility of taking care of her ears for life. It's her body and it should be her decision to alter her body. I don't believe that children don't feel pain at this age. If they don't feel pain, why do they cry when they get shots? This is a totally cosmetic procedure that should only happen when and if you daughter wants it done.

Theresa - posted on 11/16/2009

I was going to wait to pierce my daughters ears until they were 10. (That's when I had mine done) But the last couple of months my 5 year old has been telling me she wants them done. I think you should wait until the child is old enough to tell you. That way they understand what is happening and you can explain to them about the process of having them done and then cleaning/looking after them. I think it's important for the child to want to have them done. So it looks like my daughter is getting hers pierced for her 6th birthday!

Patti - posted on 11/16/2009

Well at this age they don't register pain as they would at the age of one. And it's alot easier to clean them at that age then when they get older. IT's not a big deal unfortunatley got me to listen to him and i wish i wouldn't have.. But they cry as if they had a boo on a finger so just do it and prove him wrong..

Robyn - posted on 11/16/2009

I had my daughters ears pierced at 12mths. She cried a little, but not because of the pain it was the bang of the piercing gun. She has never had a problem with them, never pulled at them and never cried or anything when I changed earrings over to different ones. My neice on the other hand had hers done when she was able to ask for them, she was 6 and OMG it was like listening to someone getting murdered. Screamed her head off and even up to the age of 10, wouldn't let anyone near her ears.

Nicole - posted on 11/16/2009

Well I guess I will be the one to say...talk it over and do not disregard your husband...but there are some GOOD reasons NOT to wait! LESS PAIN!! My doctor agreed (and it was correct) that it is less painful than her shots! LESS INFECTION! Since they will now be a "part of her" she won't play with them and cause more infection like older children do! Girls b/t age 5-8 have a MUCH higher rate of infection cuz they can't keep their dirty little fingers off the earrings!! yukk! I had my daughter done at age 5months and it was wonderful!! She cried for an instant and when we showed her the earrings...she actually smiled!!! YES AT 5 MOS!!! She has loved them ever since and NEVER has had any trouble or infection. Unlike me who had to wait til I was 6 and have had one ear re-pirc'd 5x and the other 3x...OWWW!!!! Talk with your doctor/Pediatrician...WITH YOUR HUSBAND. Don't go against him, or behind his back, that's just not right, help him with WHY its a good decision now! Blessings with your choice!

Sharon - posted on 11/16/2009

I agree with your hubby. My daughter's ears weren't pierced until she was old enough to ask for it. Have a good talk to your husband about why he doesn't want it done and then you can tell him why you do want it done, you can hopefully reach some sort of decision about it together without arguing. Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 11/16/2009

Erin, you talk about how you don't see the problem, but why is it so important to you? Ask yourself that question. Is it really that important? If you are prepared to go to lengths to want to "convince" your husband, you should know why it is so important that you MUST have it done. If it isn't that important, I'd just leave it alone. Believe me, there will be many other decisions you guys have to make as parents which will be far more important to you, save the parenting discussions for those issues.



I will also say that I *do not* agree with going ahead and doing it anyway. That is an immature and disrespectful response to your partner/husband's concerns and this type of attitude will erode the trust in your relationship. Instead, you need to have an open discussion and come to a firm decision together.

Joanna - posted on 11/16/2009

Quoting Iysha:

OMG! Same exact story here...down to the "she can tell us." part. lol. I PIERCED MY DAUGHTER'S EARS ANYWAY!!! I was trying to convince my fiance since before she was born...with absolutely no give on his part. I just went ahead and did it right after her 4 month well baby check up. I mean, when it's done, it's done, what could he do about it? All he did was say, "ugh" and that was that. He told me he wasn't happy that I did it, but who cares? He doesn't mind now...Shes 4 months 2 weeks and looks adorable with her earrings. Everyone likes it and he doesn't mind now. They are healing up very nicely too...they didn't even stick when I had to turn them.

I got tons of advice to wait because "it's his daughter too and he has a say"...I thought, what about MY say in this? I'm her mommy, I should get my say in it...I would never tell HIM no about something he really wanted unless it was truly dangerous. So yeah, I did it. She cried, but she was fine...She had her shots earlier that morning and I had her drugged up. lol.

I think it is better to do it when they are younger than a year because they are less likely to tear the earrings out and the ears are less likely to get infected. When they can crawl and walk around, they get all dirty and it is harder for the spot to stay clean. While they are small, you have more control over their hygeine and blankets and such. My Fiance's mom got his sister's ears pierced when one was 3 and the other was 6. Not a great story...they both screamed and cried and then wouldn't talk to her for a while. My sister and I got ours at 2 months...we both still have our little diamond earrings and we don't remember our ears getting pierced, well not our first ones, but our second, and my third, we do =]

Do what you want, don't let anybody tell you that you cant. I am super happy I did and my Fiance doesn't love me any less because I did it without him knowing. There are going to be tons of things you and your husband won't agree on...why bend to his will every time? The things that you are passionate about are equally as important.

I'm sorry but I think that's totally fucked up that you did it without any regard to his feelings or concerns. Just because you wanted it, you went and did something that important without him knowing? really really messed up.

In all aspects of parenting you two need to come to an understanding of each other's feelings. Instead of asking "what can I do to convince him it's okay?" just sit down and talk to him honestly about why he doesn't want to do it, and tell him why you do. There will be 18 + years of this type of thing, you can't go through life just doing what you want - there's another parent involved.

I was never personally either way with ear piercing. I wasn't going to do it, but everyone kept saying how cute my son was, when she's a GIRL! so I wanted to get her ears pierced so she was a little more girly. I asked my husband about it and he said he thought it'd be best to wait, so we agreed on just waiting until she was old enough to ask for them - kind of a little bit of responsibility for her to handle when she's older.

the main point though is communication - you guys really need to do your best to hear each other out and compromise! That's what makes a strong marriage.

Iysha - posted on 11/16/2009

OMG! Same exact story here...down to the "she can tell us." part. lol. I PIERCED MY DAUGHTER'S EARS ANYWAY!!! I was trying to convince my fiance since before she was born...with absolutely no give on his part. I just went ahead and did it right after her 4 month well baby check up. I mean, when it's done, it's done, what could he do about it? All he did was say, "ugh" and that was that. He told me he wasn't happy that I did it, but who cares? He doesn't mind now...Shes 4 months 2 weeks and looks adorable with her earrings. Everyone likes it and he doesn't mind now. They are healing up very nicely too...they didn't even stick when I had to turn them.

I got tons of advice to wait because "it's his daughter too and he has a say"...I thought, what about MY say in this? I'm her mommy, I should get my say in it...I would never tell HIM no about something he really wanted unless it was truly dangerous. So yeah, I did it. She cried, but she was fine...She had her shots earlier that morning and I had her drugged up. lol.

I think it is better to do it when they are younger than a year because they are less likely to tear the earrings out and the ears are less likely to get infected. When they can crawl and walk around, they get all dirty and it is harder for the spot to stay clean. While they are small, you have more control over their hygeine and blankets and such. My Fiance's mom got his sister's ears pierced when one was 3 and the other was 6. Not a great story...they both screamed and cried and then wouldn't talk to her for a while. My sister and I got ours at 2 months...we both still have our little diamond earrings and we don't remember our ears getting pierced, well not our first ones, but our second, and my third, we do =]

Do what you want, don't let anybody tell you that you cant. I am super happy I did and my Fiance doesn't love me any less because I did it without him knowing. There are going to be tons of things you and your husband won't agree on...why bend to his will every time? The things that you are passionate about are equally as important.

Kelly - posted on 11/16/2009

Ya know... I hate to be the spoil sport... but I think he has a point.... why add another "unknown" pain at the same age that teethings is about to start... once she is old enough to WANT her ears peirced then she can understand that it will hurt some and then she can make the chioce herself.... she might not even want it done at all.....

That being said... both of my daughters had theirs done... one at 2 and one at 4.... Thinking back on it.. I should have REALY waited for my oldest to get older.... she ended up pulling them out on her blanket and having to get them re pierced when she was almost 4 because she was too scared to have the original put back in again.