Ears pierced

Christina - posted on 05/21/2010 ( 202 moms have responded )

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I have wanted to get my daughters ears pierced since she was an infant. My husband says that she needs to be old enough to ask for it. How can I persuade him. I want to get them done now so she doesn't remember the pain.

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Jodi - posted on 05/21/2010

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Oh, for goodness sake, it isn't THAT painful. Once a child is old enough to ask for them, believe me, they can handle the very short sharp sting that comes with it. If that is the ONLY reason you want it done now, I don't believe it is a very good one and perhaps you should compromise with hubby.

Angie - posted on 05/23/2010

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Don't persuade him, he's right. It is her body and only she should alter it - if she wants to . I got my ears pierced at 12 and I don't remember the pain so that's not a good argument.

Raymona - posted on 05/25/2010

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I don't agree with infant ear piercing. I worked in a jewelry shop that pierced ears and it was horrible when people would bring their babies in. (yes, I did have to do the piercings) The poor little ones don't understand what was going on, they have a higher risk of infection, and I have actually heard that babies can be hypersensitive to pain. You have no idea your child's pain tolerance is, and therefore cannot say "oh it doesn't hurt that bad". Plus what if they don't want them as an adult? I have piercings and tattoos, but by my own choice. It should be theirs too. My own daughter may get hers done one day, but not until she is ready. Also, I will never tell her it doesn't hurt because that is a lie. Whether it is a lot or a little, it hurts. Many children were told by their parents that it wouldn't hurt when they would come to our place to get their ears pierced. I would have to explain, sometimes repeatedly, that if there was only one person to pierce, each ear would have to be done individually. Also that I would NOT force or allow them to force the piercing if the child declined the second earring. Period. I agree with your husband. Let the child decide when they are old enough.

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

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My hubby and I have had the issue come up several times with our three girls, only he's the one that wants to have it done and Im the one who wants to wait until they are old enough to make the decision for themselves and take care of them for themselves. I am 28 years old and have never had nor wanted to have my ears pierced. Who's to say its automatic that my girls will want theirs done? Whats the harm in waiting until your daughter is old enough to ask for it? At least that way you won't be forcing something on her that she may not want in the future. And if you know its painful why put her through it unneccesarily? Sorry but theres my two cents on the subject.

Kathleen - posted on 05/24/2010

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We circumcise little boys. That is painful, and very bodily altering. No real need to do that, (unless religious) but most Americans do it to their little boys. I pierced my LO at 2years old. Dad was not happy, and neither was paternal grandma. Oh well. If she hates them later on and wants to wear clip-on I will buy them for her. BTW I don't know a single (or married) woman who doesn't have her ears pierced!

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Raina - posted on 05/26/2010

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I have to agree with your husband. I am a teacher and I see girls growing up so fast these days...okay so it is just getting their ears pierced but I think they should be a certain age where they can enjoy them if that is what THEY want. I had a friend who had her ears pierced when she was very young because her mom wanted it done...to this day she hates wearing jewelry...PLUS how fun would it be to take her when she knows if she wants them or not... I say let her decide when she is old enough..she may want them, she may not!

Hallie - posted on 05/26/2010

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I don't know about you, but for me as a kid, getting my ears pierced was almost a rite of passage. It was something special, and I really looked forward to the time when I was old enough to be allowed to have them.



And as for the pain - whether it is getting her ears pierced or falling down and scraping her knee, or something else, eventually she is going to know pain.

Erin - posted on 05/26/2010

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My daughter was 6 months old when she got her ears pierced and they were a lot easier to care for then. Remind him that when she is a baby you will be the one caring for them so they won't get infected, and when she is older and ready to ask for them she will be the one caring for them, and that there is a higher chance then that she would get an infection. Also, while the hole is kind of permanent my daughter chooses at this point not to wear earrings except on special occasions or when we beg her too. So remind him that just because she has them now doesn't mean she will get 20 piercings when she turns 18.

Leigh - posted on 05/26/2010

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This may not help but this is my story. My mother told me no when I asked as she said if God had wanted you to have holes in your ears you would have been born with them. When you are 18 you can do what you like. I was 19 when I finally got my ears done and they kept getting infected even though I did everything I was told. The pain wasn't really that bad. I am now 36 and I will say to my girls aged 6 and 5 when they ask if they can have then done that they can have them done when they are old enough to look after them.

Paula - posted on 05/26/2010

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My mother made me wait until I was 16 because I was such a tomboy she was afraid they'd get torn out when I was playing sports and such......my daughters were 8 and 4, and my HUSBAND took them in for Christmas and got them done. I was so shocked....but not mad, because they both were so excited about it and proud that it didn't hurt and they didn't cry. I think it's entirely and individual decision. But that was our experience.

[deleted account]

I think it's a personal decision and putting a question on here is silly as it's always gonna bring good and bad comments. Do what YOU want to do, not asking others. Make your own decision as a parent. It's your right to do it or not to do it after all. I got my daughters done a few weeks ago, She is nearly two and a half. I knew that there were people apposed to it in our family, but at the end of the day, it's up to me as I am her mother.

Christina - posted on 05/26/2010

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I got my ears pierced when I was 6 and i remember tell de person that did it they hurt and i have a fear piercing my ears since. So i think it's better to get them done when your younger!!!

Eileen - posted on 05/26/2010

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I am from hispanic culture. Babies have their ears pierced from long tradition. If your husband disagrees, I'd listen to him. Babies do remember the pain. I would not let anyone, even doctors, touch my ears. As an adult I try to reason with myself for this silly reaction, but it is hard for me to let anyone touch my ears.

On the other hand, I wear contacts. My husband has to leave the room when I fuss with them.

Ashley - posted on 05/26/2010

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i got my daughters ears pierced the day she got her 2 month shots... she spent 2 months in the nicu and came home and got her shots and ears pierced a week later. she only cried because she was mad i held her head still, i wanted to get it done as soon as possible after we got her home from the hospital because she was still used to the pain of them poking her to draw blood or start iv's. i got mine done when i was 10 and it hurt horribly, i didnt want her to remember the pain.

Michelle - posted on 05/26/2010

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I would have to side with your husband on this one! I think it is ridiculous when people pierce their babies ears. My daughter got hers pierced when she turned 5 and its really not that painful or traumatic. I believe in letting them wait until they can decide THEY want them and ask for them.

Brenda - posted on 05/26/2010

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I agree with your husband. I personally think that my daughter should be able to choose to have her ears pierced. Although I have never heard of anyone resenting their parents because their ears were pierced before they could voice wanting it done. That's my two cents.

Shannon - posted on 05/26/2010

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Well...I've never heard of a girl who didn't want her ears pierced. I understand his concern...but does he really think she won't want to? :) But...it's just ear piercing and maybe he's right and u should wait...it's not worth causing strife in your marriage over.

April - posted on 05/26/2010

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If he's adamant, there will be no changing his mind.

I was in your husband's position when my first daughter was born (15 years ago) and it was her dad who wanted her ears pierced right away (it's a cultural thing for him). I wanted her to wait to be able to make the choice for herself. He waited for few years, but at one point, years after he and I had split and he was with our daughter during his weekend, he took her to get her ears pierced. She was MAD! She didn't want them pierced in the first place and then they lied to her about it "not hurting."

NOW, however, I have a 5-month-old and I want to pierce her ears and my husband is where your husband is at -- old enough to ask for it and understand that there will be pain involved.

Depending on your husband's temperament and the relationship you two have, maybe if you keep asking every few weeks, you can wear him down. ;-)

Good luck!

Jo - posted on 05/26/2010

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Well this is a contentious one. Personally, I have plenty of friends who have chosen NOT to get their ears pierced (I'm 33 btw). What I think of primary importance is that they got to choose. I'm a parent and I think my most important role is keeping my kids healthy, and keeping options open so they have as much choice and steer over their own lives as possible. Whatever you and some others think about 'all girls get their ears pierced anyway' - this is not a decision for you. Your kids ears don;t belong to you and so neither does the decision to make holes in their body.
Just so you know - I have 3 sets in each ear and a nose piercing. I chose to get them done. MY body, MY decision.

Sarah-frances - posted on 05/26/2010

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i dont understand why anyone would want to put their child through unnecessary pain. i think it looks awful. and it is your childs choice if they wish to have a hole in their ears or not. i think it should be made illegal to have ears pierced at such a young age its cruel.

Lynn - posted on 05/26/2010

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Babies & young children do not need jewellery, make-up or any other embellishment - they are beautiful & perfect just as they are. When they are old enough to want pierced ears okay, but let the little ones be beautiful on their own!

Sheri - posted on 05/26/2010

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When I had my daughter people used to ask me when I was getting her ears pierced. My standard reply was when she starts to ask for tattoo's I will recommend she get her ears pierced instead. This of course was a joke. I waited for her to ask to have it done. Then I had her save up her own money for it while I looked into all the options. Needles versus guns and type of guns. This took us about a month after her initial asking. So to answer your question my daughter had her ears done at six. I don't think there is any real age that is right or wrong but do think that it is a parenting decision that both parents should have equal input on. If it can't be agreed upon now maybe you can ask your husband to think about the pro's and con's for a little while?

[deleted account]

Me and my husband had this same conversation when I was pregnant with our daughter, except reverse. He wants them done as an infant and I feel that it's wrong to pierce somebody else's body. Who am I to make that decision for her? I was 4 when I went to my mom and asked her to have my ears pierced. My mom and I made a whole day with just me and her without my other 3 siblings and it was really special for me. That's what I plan to do with my daughter. When/if she wants them done, she will ask me and we will make a whole day out of it.

[deleted account]

I had my step daughter's ears done when she was 6 and she handled it just fine. It was something she wanted and was a special thing we did, just the two of us. The only reason they weren't done sooner is because a single dad hasn't a clue what little girls want. I had our (bio) daughter's done when she was 4 months old. She is 3 now and she never plays with them and she loves picking out earrings to go with her outfits. When she doesn't want any we take them out.
I see no reason not to do it. If she hates them when she gets older she can just remove them and not wear any. Eventually the holes close up. I also think its silly to compare getting a girl's ears pierced to other body piercings or tattoos...which I also have no problem with. My step daughter is 16 and she is planning the tattoos she wants to get. She also plans to be a tattoo artist. I have no problems with any of that.

Janet - posted on 05/26/2010

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I have 3 girls.... 13, 9, & 3. I allowed them all to be old enough to ask for their ears to be pierced. When they are infants, their lobes are still growing-- shops should tell you that, and advise you to wait until they are older, but they won't tell you because 95% of their piercings are infants. It's just a hole in the ear, with an earing.... believe me, when she is a teenager, you'll be fighting HER to not get more piercings. And, they'll jump over the "pop" noise before they cry over the pinch... my youngest didn't even cry. I agree with the hubby....

Michelle - posted on 05/26/2010

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My husband was the exact same way! We did wait until she was old enough to ask, she was not quite 4. I would recommend that there are 2 people there to pierce them at the exact same time. The lady where I had them done did 1 at a time, I didn't think that we were going to get the second one done, but she finally let them. She just loves wearing her earrings now!!

[deleted account]

This is a personal decision. I got it done when I was 4. I ASKED my mom for it. It's sort of a right of passage for a girl, a step towards being a big girl. So that's why I'm waiting until my daughter is older. Also, babies are susseptable to ear infections and the new earings hurt to sleep on in the beginning. Do you want to cause uneeeded pain?

Susan - posted on 05/26/2010

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I was always afraid my baby might take them out and put them in her mouth and choke on them. She actually did choke on a stick-on ear ring

when she was five by putting it up her nose.



When she was eight years old, I offered to buy her a box of chocolate if she had her ears pierced and she got convinced to

have them done.

She liked them after she had them done.



I took her to a jewelry store where they have experience with it.



There was a detailed legal agreement to sign with the risks.

Jessica - posted on 05/26/2010

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I could go back and do it all over I would have done it when she was a baby. I was like your husband I thought she should want them before I did it, but afterwards i wish had done it sooner. She remembered how bad it hurt and wouldnt let me touch them to doctor them or turn them, which caused them to get infected. So my advice would to do them as soon as possible, so that she cant fight you to doctor them.

Danielle - posted on 05/26/2010

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I let my daughter do it when she turned 5 but we had lots of issues with infections. to find out she needs only nickel free earings. So now I have to special order all her errings.

Yolanda - posted on 05/26/2010

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The bigger question is why do you think getting her ears peirced needs to be done? That is a choice that should be left to her when she is old enough to make that decision. I have tats should I have my daughter get some because I like them?

LETA - posted on 05/26/2010

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I did it when my daughter was 16 mos. old & I regretted it! She constantly messed with them & pulled them out. Had to do the alcohol thing all the time & they kept getting lost. By the time she was 3 she didn't want anything to do with them. Growing up she didn't want anything to do with dresses or cutesy clothes or jewelry. She turned out to be gay & boy I didn't see that one coming. I agree with your husband I'd wait till she's old enough to consciously want it herself. I was 13 when I made the decision with my friends to do it & we all went to our hometown dr. & did it together. Was a rite of passage thing for us I'll never forget!

Thelisha - posted on 05/26/2010

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I think you are taking it alittle too far. I didn't read anything about this causing a problem in her marriage. I think it is the decision of the parents and that it should be done aroung 3 to 4 months. If she doesn't want them when she is older (which I doubt) she can always let them close up.

Tina - posted on 05/26/2010

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The other thought that has come to me is this, pierecing ones ear's is not a permanent thing, unless you do keep using them they will grow back again, and that will be for a long time so if they don't want them pierced they will know that they will grow back and they won't have to worry about it if they don't want it to be done.

Lori - posted on 05/26/2010

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Ear piercing is painful so why inflict it on a helpless infant or toddler? I'd wait. If she wants her ears pierced later, like when she's 10, she'll be able to handle the pain.

Lorena - posted on 05/26/2010

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i agree everyone that i know has had their ears pierce when they were little and noone is mad about it either! i dont feel like my parents made a drastic desicion for me and im soo mad at them for not letting me decide lol.. i think thats a bit dramatic ... i also believe the younger the better

Joelle - posted on 05/26/2010

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I pulled out the "mommy card" on this situation. I didn't even give my husband any room for input. What i fugured is no matter what every girl wants their ears pierced. But they usually want them done at like 7 years. At that age they are so dramatic..they will flinch because they know it's coming. I had my daughters done at 8 months. They did both ears at the same time, they are centred nicely, and have never bothered her since. She cried for alot less time than she did with her shots. All of our family has had their babies ears pierced and no one gets mad about it. I'm not mad about it. ;)

Lorena - posted on 05/26/2010

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I would like to pierce my daugters ears shes 3 months now... the doctor told me to wait until she has all her tetanus shots which is around 4-5 months old. I dont think its a big deal.. they look very pretty... I think that if your husband thinks its a big deal then you do have to respect his desicion wether you like it or not.. if you can convince him better yet but i dont think you should fight about it. i respect everyones thoughts and its ok to think that way.. dont do anything just because you are influenced by other just do what you feel is right.

Dawn - posted on 05/26/2010

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I agree with your husband but would take it a step further! Our society has come up with children who don't know how to wait for anything. They think that what ever they want should be given to them before they even ask! We are depriving our children of "rights of passage" which teach them how to wait and how to look forward with joy to being "old enough" to reach a milepost. We don't even think about things like that and that is one reason we have attitudes so prevalent today. Think carefully before pushing your child into things that were once held for adults. When they reach adulthood, there is nothing to look forward to!

Eva-Britt - posted on 05/26/2010

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I don't know if you ever have heard of "nickel allergy".
When I was 18 years of age I decided to pearce my ears.A friend of mine said I shouldn't because she knew we had some allergies in my family,milk allergy and egg allergy, and I might get nickelallergy.Well I did not listen to her, and guess what happened. Three month after I pearced my ears I got a pair of a very cute set of earrings.Well I developed a very bad rash. My ears swolled up and I couldn't have jeans on because every where there was nickel touching my skin I got big watery blisters that itched very bad.If I knew how bad nickel allergy was I would never had pearced my ears.
Today I can't wear anything with nickel in it. Bracelets,rings,earrings,necklaces.Pants with a metallic button.Most of all the pretty necklaces has nickel where the lock is. My mom got the nickel allergy after she pearced her ears too.She did it in a different city, so it has nothing to do with the tools they use.So my suggestion for you would be, wait until she is old enough to make that decision herself.Think if she developes nickelallergy she will have it for the rest of her life, wouldn't you feel bad that it was your fault?

Erin - posted on 05/26/2010

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had my daughters ears done when she was 3 months old... she only cried for a few seconds and that was it... i figured she would want it dont when she got older anyways and why not do it now since she wont remember the pain.... her grandma disagreed with my decision and was not happy about it, but it wasnt her choice and i am glad i did it... i have 5 other girlfriends who got their daughters ears pierced around 3/4 months

Stephanie - posted on 05/26/2010

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Sorry I actually had this fight w/ my mother-in-law, I think it should be her decision, when she gets old enought to ask and understand what's going on then we'll discuss it, you also have to think about that she could develop a metal allergy, and unless you want to only buy 14k gold or platinum posts, think about it(that last part is me). I had mine done when I turned 6 don't remember the pain at all, and also she's gonna reach an age when she wants to roll around in the dirt, do you really want to hold down a toddler with infected ears?

Candiss - posted on 05/26/2010

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just do it..most girls/woman have their ears pierced...i took both my kids when they were infants my dad was always against it..but when my sister was like 14 she snuck and got hers pierced anyway..he was even upset when we got our girls ears pierced..my sister did wait til her oldest was older but she had always wondered why everyone else had their ears pierced and she didnt..besides the younger she is if she's still and infant or toddler the less likely she'll be to bother her ears once their pierced..also little girls are cuter with ear rings

Frances - posted on 05/26/2010

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I'm with your hubby on this one...she should be able to choose for herself. Who knows? She may not want the hassle of pierced ears & I wouldn't want the worry of infections and scar tissue with a little one.

Tina - posted on 05/26/2010

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I don't know what the others have already said here, but my own daughters didn't get their ears pierced until they were ready for that, and that was when they were in their teen years. They found out that to participate in sports they couldn't have pierced ears, and so it was a trial for them . Then they had little problems in having the earrings, as they could cause infections too, if they didn't take care of them . So you need to weigh all the options of the care of such, and then know that it needs to have medical care in addition to every thing else that is needed. Some do this early, and others wait until they want it done.I personally don't have pierced ears, as they are too sensitive to have that done, so I have not ever done that . My girls did it when they wanted to try it out. So it goes back and forth for them. They are now in their twenties, and I don't know if they still have them pierced or not. They don't live at home anymore.

Jenny - posted on 05/26/2010

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my ex didn't let me get my 2 girls ear pierced and when she asked I did get her ear pierced but she didn't want to take care of them. My new husband let me get my other daughter done when she was 6 months and it was so much easier to take care of but since she almost 2 years old the problem I'm having is she won't leave earrings in. I don't know if this helped or not.

Shannon - posted on 05/26/2010

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I'm with your husband on this one. With my daughter, I believe it is HER body and she should be the one to ask for it when she is old enough to understand what it means and the responsibility it takes to take care of them. Its a right of passage. and should be something special for her.

Erin - posted on 05/26/2010

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personally, i'm not going to pierce my daughters ears, i got mine done when i was 11 as a right of passage, everyone is different. but thats just what me and my fiance decided for our little girl,.babies do look adorable with their ears done...

Angie - posted on 05/26/2010

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I wanted to get my daughters done as well when she was an infant, but then again I did not want an added task of taking care of them on top of everything else. I think when she is old enough she can make up her mind herself. It's her body and I do not feel right making that decision for her.

Nicole - posted on 05/26/2010

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I would never want my daughter to look like a boy and a lot of times they do when they don't have hair!

Shoshana - posted on 05/26/2010

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I am going through the same thing with my husband. My DD is 6mos and I want to get her ears pierced, but my husband says to wait until she is able to ask for it. Where do u find a piercer?

Donna - posted on 05/26/2010

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If you get the ears pierced when she's young she won't remember the pain. It may be a bit more traumatic if you wait too long. There's nothing cruel about getting the ears pierced if that's what your husband is worried about. I thought the same thing at first. Plus most places will have 2 people piercing the ears. One person for each ear so that they are done at the same time.

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