easy way to tell my fiance .....

Leigh - posted on 06/15/2009

Be open & honest & tell him directly exactly what you expect from him & what you need. The tone you use can be nice, because if this has been happening for a wee while by now I would expect you would not be being so nice when he doesnt spend the time that is needed. Maybe his idea of going to work & bring home the bacon is all that is required. Make a parenting plan together, including a timetable for personal time. Another is for him to take your daughter with him when he goes to his mates. My husband loved the gym & body building before kids, & was adament that he'd still do it after they were born, which I had no problem with, so long as he took his baby with him, so that I could have time for me, & he ended up getting his mates to meet him down at the local park & some of his mates started bringing their kids as well. This worked well as the children aged, as they were able to then go bike riding, kite flying etc.

Julie - posted on 06/12/2009

My husband and I had a talk about our children and I told him that I didn't mind him playing his video games once the kids were in bed. He is extremely helpful with the kids (even if he needs a sweet reminder sometimes). Guys are just not in tuned to kids like we are so they need the reminders and the requests from us moms to help. Once we're consistant with asking for help (politely), they start understanding how to help and will soon do it without us asking! Good luck!

Chrissy - posted on 06/12/2009

I asked for my husband's help. I told him that at the end of the day I was just in such a need of a break, that I needed him to entertain our daughter. He always seems to have other things to do, so I had to come right out and say "I need you to help me". I also took him to Toys R Us, and let him pick out the toys he wanted to play with - he now plays with those toys more than she does, but at least they do it together!

Jessi - posted on 06/12/2009

i had this problem as well so i would gradually get him to spend time with my daughter like when she was hungry or when it was bath time i would get him to do those things. now he is more comfortable with holding and "playing" with his month old daughter and takes her away from me after work and asks if she needs a diaper change, or if its a bath night lol. that might work for you as well never hurts to try. good luck

Beth - posted on 06/12/2009

Some men just aren't all that interested in babies or small children and its hard to force them to be....I think as time goes on, they develop some hobbies and interests with their children...


one thing I tried to do was have my (then) husband go to the bookstore and buy books that he would want to read to them...I think we all enjoy reading books to our kids when WE like the story too....or also encourage him to do things with his child that HE likes...





my ex-hsuband was never all that interested in his children but he did get one of them interested in football...so he took her to games and to this day, they still watch football together...its one of the few things that they do together.





So try encourage him to do things with your child that he will enjoy as well...perhaps then he won't view spending time together as a "chore"