Eating by themselves?

Cassie - posted on 07/04/2010

Don't let her feed herself if you don't want a mess. As soon as my daughter was old enough to hold a spoon she refused to let me feed her. I always noticed all the other kids were so much cleaner to this day. I say go ahead and feed her as long as you like. I think you will see that she is a less messer eater in the end and wants to stay clean.

Cheryl - posted on 07/04/2010

I still think a baby of this age is too young. 18 months is quite old enough and they can find their mouths a bit easier too. They still make a bit of mess but gee, we do want the food to go more "in the mouth and swallowed" than on the floor. Go right ahead and feed a little longer is my advise.... : ) xx

Andrea - posted on 07/04/2010

I believe what everyone else is saying.
I know u don't want the mess, that's what they do to learn.
Now, sometimes some of us start things later in life, but they wont learn it by having someone else do it for them. God Bless

Annery - posted on 07/04/2010

Ur def doing sumthing wrong. Ur not letting her eat on her own because u don't wanna clean up after. U should've thought about having kids b4 u had them bcuz dat's all u do is clean up after them. My daughter is 11 months i feed her at most but I also let her eat on her own, so she can learn and also I take dat time 2 clean up the kitchen. U need to stop being lazy. Ur only teaching ur daughter da same thing laziness n dependency. Teach her to eat on her own and also teach her to clean up after herself make it into a little game like Barney does. clean up clean up everybody clean up...

Laura - posted on 07/04/2010

Once you decided to have a child you have to understand your priority is your child. They make messes, you clean them up. Children learn from finger foods. They miss the table. So what. at one and two years or even older they are learning and you have to accept the mess until they get the hang of it. You can not run around behind a child picking up as soon as they throw something down, They are smart it becomes a game. They win you lose. Enjoy watching your child learn eatting on her own.

Elaine - posted on 07/04/2010

i would let her mine were both eating somewhat by them self but there will be a lot of cleanup

Shelly - posted on 07/04/2010

My daughter is 5 1/2 months and she feeds herself finger foods but spoon feed her purees when we are down to the last spoon we let her do it and it does make a mess but my feeling is it comes with the teritory. My partners 11yr old cousin still needs his food cut into tiny pieces for him because he hasn't been let to do it himself, I think as long as they can feed themselves by the time they're at school, no biggie

Bianca - posted on 07/04/2010

My daughter has been self feeding since 10months as she wouldnt let us feed her she would spit it out we just cut all her food into chunky bite size pieces even veg and she feeds herself its good to let them do it themselves i agree with the tarp though we just use what they call a muck matt

Jeanne - posted on 07/03/2010

You need to let her gain independence. If you are afraid of messes start with dry things, Cheerios,crackers, carrot sticks. Peas, green beans cooked of course. Add pieces of hot dogs small enough not to chock.Use a sippy cup for liquids. Eye hand coordination is importantso add a spoon to the mix as soon as she can as you have waited longer then most . Good luck and have a camera handy for the cute shoots.

Aura - posted on 07/03/2010

I have tried setting the food in front of her. She does really well with finger foods or small pieces of regular food. Problem is with purees, or things like spaghetti, I'm worried she doesn't eat enough. She eats more of it if I feed her as opposed to feeding herself.

Megan - posted on 07/03/2010

A few things I have not seen mentioned.

Children do not loose their ability to learn things as they age. The whole do it now or she will never learn argument makes no sense. She will become more capable of feeding herself as she gets older, not less. I remember people telling me that if I didn't potty train my daughter she was never going to learn how. I would just look at them and say "so thats why I see all those seven year old kids in walking around in diapers" they usually got the point.

2. My guess is that you will spend less time cleaning up after her than you currently spend feeding her, especially after she gets the hang of it. It is really nice to plop the food on the tray and be done.

Alfreda - posted on 07/03/2010

Both my girls could eat yogurt and cereal/milk with a spoon by the time they are one. Those are good things to start with since the yogurt sticks to the spoon, even if they tip it. They do sometimes dump it on purpose, then spread it out on the tray with their hands. It usually stays on the tray though. It is more finger food that they throw on the floor. I have a particular vacuum that is great for tile/hardwood floor. Then I use a swiffer wet jet. It only takes a second, and it lets you eat your dinner. I suppose if we had carpet in our kitchen, then it would be more difficult. My daughter at 2 learned to hold the spoon and fork properly, like a grown up rather than a shovel. Now at 3 she is learning to cut soft things like sausage with a dull knife. Forks are good too. If you give them cut up hot dog, just give her a fork to go with it. Rice and spagetti are messy, but my kids always managed well with that. Also chicken a la king works very well with a spoon.

Alicia - posted on 07/03/2010

Do what is right for you and your household. I have heard that you could get an old vinyl shower curtain and place that in the floor under the chair where they sit and then you can just take it outside and shake it off and wash it in the tub pretty easily! Hope this helps! Our baby girl is doing pretty good at almost two. She mostly eats nuggets anyway so finger foods are good. She just picks up her peas and carrots and eats them with her hands. Just do what you feel comfortable with!

Kay - posted on 07/03/2010

Bonnie says it well. I started when my kids started solids at 6+ mos. Their desire to pick up and put "everything" in their mouths makes it an ideal time for little ones to start learning to feed themselves. The tip to buy a tarp (or one of those cheap plastic kids swimming pools) helps contain the mess.

Sylvia - posted on 07/03/2010

My DD fed herself pretty much from the time she started eating food (about 8 months IIRC). Before that she wasn't interested in food at all, only in waving spoons around LOL, and with very few exceptions, she was *never* interested in eating anything she couldn't pick up and shove into her mouth herself.

I knew one mum when DD was a baby who spoon-fed her DS until he was two. (This apparently is traditional in Russia, where her parents are from.) Other than that, I don't think I've ever met a baby who wasn't self-feeding by age 1. Not surprisingly (well, his mom was surprised, but no one else was), when that little boy was almost three, he was still dropping things off his high chair tray to see what would happen and couldn't use a spoon without making a HUGE mess. The more practice they get when they're little, the sooner they become competent. That means more mess now, true, but MUCH less mess in two years' time. My DD went to daycare full-time from the time I went back to work (i.e., starting at 13 months), and I can promise you all the kids in the Infant Room (12-18 months) were at least feeding themselves Cheerios when they arrived.

Get some of those cute washable bibs with long sleeves and a pocket on the front. If food on the floor freaks you out, spread an old shower curtain on the floor under the high chair, or (if you have a back yard) go outside for mealtimes.

I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but if you don't like cleaning up messes, you are in for a very unpleasant few years.

Crystal - posted on 07/03/2010

I know how you feel Aura; my son is just over 9 months and he really doesn't eat much on his own and when he does there is a HUGE mess to clean. The things that I do let him eat on his own is noodles, cookies, crackers, mashed potatos and easy things like that and his sippy cup but he's scared of using a spoon as he accidently poked himself in the eye and won't touch it lol but once he get's over the fear I'm going to try it again with him.

But my mom did give me a tip on how to train my son on using a spoon is place the spoon in his hand and then take his hand and put it into the food and then into his mouth a few times. She did that for my brothers and I and I guess it worked as I can feed myself lol

Hope everything goes good for you and Good luck!!

Michelle - posted on 07/03/2010

Children make a mess, stain clothes, get food all in their hair, etc - I feel that's part of their life and they should be allowed to do so, even if it is a pain in the neck cleaning up after. My children started with finger foods as soon as they were old enough to eat solids and hold foods (things like baby rusks or bananas, etc). They got their hands, face, hair, clothes, table, floor, etc messy and I cleaned them. I bought baby spoons, etc so they could learn how to use them too. I've thrown away clothes that are beyond cleaning though most of their clothes I soaked for a while before putting them in the washing machine and the stains came out - it's even harder when you set them free with crayons, paints, etc - ha ha ha! Now at age 7 and 5 they still get messy at times and they help clean up after themselves. They actually enjoy helping me do it (which I'm making the most of as I'm sure at some point they're going to start moaning about it). I'm also 6 months pregnant so will have the pleasure of going through it all again - but that's one of the joys of being a mum I suppose - ha ha ha!

Your daughter does need to learn how to feed herself. You also want to prevent any possible eating disorders in the future that could happen by not allowing her to be independent with her eating. Give her a variety of foods and let her make a mess. A variety of foods may also prevent her from being a fussy eater when she gets older.

Also, on the subject of getting messy, by not allowing her to do so there is also the chance of installing a fear of getting messy when she gets older, much along the lines of OCD, which you really want to try and avoid.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you are going to cause your daughter to have an eating disorder or OCD, etc but there are quite a number of children out there that do suffer with these problems and those problems can be very hard and frustrating to deal with.

Good luck!

Verna - posted on 07/03/2010

My children started eating by the time they could pick up cheerios. I offered them a spoon but most of the time they used there fingers. I would take their shirt off so all I had to do was put them in the bathtub/or the kitchen sink. You are not doing something wrong as each family has different views. I usually worked on my dishes while my child was eating so that my kitchen would be clean...then the sink would be empty and ready for them. I always say, the sooner they learn the less I have to do. I guess I am just lazy!

Angie - posted on 07/03/2010

My daughter is 18 months and she does pretty good with a fork. Although there are still a lot of times when she still uses her fingers. If it is really messy food like spaghetti we strip her down to her diaper for supper and when supper is done one of us cleans up the table and her chair and the other one takes her straight to the bath. We taught her to say all done in sign language when she was 8-9 months old so unless we don't get her food moved shortly after she says all done she does pretty good at not throwing it on the floor

Cindy - posted on 07/03/2010

She needs to try for herself. I get the mess thing...I have a thing about messy babies so I get it. I always cut the food up and then hand it to my daughter. Mine has been feeding herself since 11 months b/c she is in love with food. Kids play with food b/c they aren't really hungry and its a way to "play" with mom. So if it does get messy don't react because the child will think of it as a game.
If you are concerned about the mess buy the really cheap paper plates and serve her on it. Be diligent about having her keep the food on the plate. Since I started this my daughter won't eat unless she is served with a plate or a plastic bowl.

Melissa - posted on 07/03/2010

You aren't wrong, but she does need to practice. There will be a mess no matter when she starts, only if she is bigger, the mess will be bigger because she will be able to throw farther and be eating more food :-) Get a tarp and let her eat in her diaper.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/03/2010

It will be a mess, but she needs to develope her fine motor skills and eating by herself is one of the ways she will develope them. Also, don't put so much pressure on yourself when it comes to cleaning. Sure you want to pick-up the food mess and wipe up any spills, but what you can't get done today, can wait until tomorrow and as mothers we worry about so much, that cleaning and little things that "need" to get done should be the last things we worry about.

Doris - posted on 07/03/2010

I don't think you are doing anything wrong to feed her. I always feed my children and there is no waste than if they eat by themselves. They grow up and know how to eat by themselves without difficulty. Which child grows up not knowing how to feed himself/herself?.
You can let her feed herself and see how it goes but there is no harm in feeding her if you want to and the child is happy with it. Other people want to let their children feed themselves is up to them but telling you what you need to do is ridiculous and you know it.

Judy - posted on 07/02/2010

Let your daughter try to eat by herself. You probably will have a mess (child, floor, high chair). They all clean up. That is the only way she will learn. I highly recoment a bib and newspaper on the floor. Cleans up fairly easy that way.

Adriane - posted on 07/02/2010

My son is 14 months, he finger eats everything. I give him a fork or spoon but the food enters into his mouth with his fingers. I do feed him yogurt and oatmeal and mashed tatoes, stuff like that. Alot of times he does not want me to feed him. He likes to do it himself.

Janet - posted on 07/01/2010

I don't mind to clean up but I hate to waste food. Many people has nothing to eat while we have too much to give away.

Agree with others who will let baby try finger food first. I gave my baby spoon and bowl to play when she was one. I won't let her eat her meal until she knows how to eat properly.

Angel - posted on 07/01/2010

I just started my son (8months) on some finger foods- gerber snacks. But will probably give him a spoon when hes 1 1/2-2.

Sherida - posted on 07/01/2010

your two year old should be able to feed himself. he is old enough at this point. please let him do it. he needs that for motor skills, life skills, self confidence. if he is unable, please talk to his pediatrician about it.

Nancy - posted on 07/01/2010

Our high chair is on the tile floor, the dogs clean up half the mess, I keep a box of wipes close by and only give messy food when we aren't running out the door. I gave my son a bowl of yogurt and a spoon and let him go to town, then threw him in the bath and washed it out of his hair and wherever else he got it. He loved it!! The clothes just all get thrown in the hamper we keep in the laundry room. Before daycare, he gets raisins, cheerios, toast, fruit and other items that he can feed himself, but not make a huge mess. Spaghetti for dinner one night was special!! That was a whole new kind of messy little boy!! I gave him a toddler spoon and for months he held it while he ate with his hands or placed food on the spoon, then tried to eat it, but dumped it in his lap. Now he's almost got it down!! It builds independence and motor skills.

Jenette - posted on 07/01/2010

Why don't you talk to your doctor about it at your child's one year baby check-up?
There is no getting around messes! They happen every day and not just food messes. That is what kids do.
And, I think that it is more work for you in the long run if you don't allow your child to have their own experiences/successes/failures. I don't like cleaning up messes either and some days I think in my head, "where do I start with this mess?" but my daughter is now 3 and I can barely remember those days. Really, it should only take a couple of minutes. My husband makes bigger messes than that!

Katie - posted on 07/01/2010

I have always let my children feedn themselves with their fingers until they are about 10 or 11 months old. By then they get the hang of where the food is supposed to go. I also use this trick with my 8 month old son who really wants to do it himself. Put the food on the spoon and then give her the spoon. She learns how to manipulate the spoon into her mouth with food and you have less of a mess. except for the baby. Also you can help her by guiding the spoon to the food and help her pick it up. Babies are messy. I know how you feel about the not wanting to have a mess to clean up. However if you start by just allowing her to feed herself at dinner time then it isn't so bad to clean up, you are already doing it. No extra work.

Lindsey - posted on 07/01/2010

Put an old sheet or something under her chair and let her feed herself. I did it with all of my kids starting when they were one and they loved it, as for the mess yeah there was a mess but just wash them off with a wash rag and clean there tray. The sheet can just be tossed into the washer. She need to learn to feed herself, she probably wont use a fork or spoon but she will love playing with it and eventually she will learn what it is for.

Ashley - posted on 07/01/2010

I let my son eat on his own when he was about 9 months old. i'm a pretty lazy housekeeper (i'm not going to clean 24/7, its ok to have a little mess) but giving your children independence is so important.you want her to do as much as she can on her own. there will be messes but its ok. you don't want her so dependent on you that she can't do anything on her own or without asking for permission. my stepdaughter has been raised like that and its HORRIBLE. she's 3 and won't do anything at all because she has never been given any independence.

Anuja - posted on 07/01/2010

I have been reading all the posts here .... one thing is for sure that we all want our kids to become independent and enjoy the process of exploring how much they can do on their own ....
I am not concerned about cleaning mess at all .... can manage that .. what i am not sure about is wether my 2 year old son will be able to have the meal to his fill .... whether he can have the amount he needs to eat !?!? He does try to eat .... tries, gets frustrated when he cannot do it right and becomes cranky .... also he tries to swallow most food rather than chewing it .... ending up choking on even simple things like cut up banana...... how i wish mine wud eat himself ....

Rebecca - posted on 07/01/2010

My son was about 1 yr when I started to let him try to feed himself. You are not really doing anything "wrong" by not letting her eat, it's just that much longer that you will have to feed her if she doesn't learn how on her own.
I would say to do what Bonnie said. Get a tarp and put under the high chair.I also would take 2 forks/spoons, one for her to use and one for you to use. Give her a bite from the for you are holding, then allow her a bite with hers. Encourage her with each step, tell her she's doing great (even though she is doing awful and making a fierce mess) she will want to keep trying to get better. The sooner you start this, the sooner her hand-eye coordination will develop. This is a very important part of their learning to be independent. You can always clean them up with a bath and wash their clothes.

When we have a really messy dinner, i.e. spaghetti, I always make sure to plan it for bath night. Then, I put a big bib on him and sometimes have him sit in only his diaper. After dinner, straight to the bath he goes.

Kappy - posted on 07/01/2010

Well, I'm a mom of an only child, and I did a few more things to "help" than many moms do. My son learned to do all the things that other kids do and is not behind or anything. At 1 yr old, I was feeding him his baby food, but he ate things you could pick up with your fingers all by himself. He would reach for the spoon sometimes and hold it with me as the food went in his mouth. I think it was between 1 & 2 that he started being able to actually hit his mouth often enough that he could feed himself. Unfortunately, it was also about that time that he refused to eat baby food anymore... we ended up with bits of meat on a plate (again that he could pick up) and crackers/bread pieces fruit pieces and soft or cooked veggies.

Feed your little one this kind of stuff when there are people around so you don't get anymore comments. It's easy to pick Cheerios up off the floor or little bits of chicken. :)

Lori - posted on 07/01/2010

You do what you think your child is capable of. You will know when its time forher to feed herself, and you are already letting her a little by eating the noodles and the hot dogs by herself. Don't rush it. Use your judgemnet dont worry about everyone else

Sherida - posted on 07/01/2010

i think ppl are quick to judge and children learn at their own pace. is she trying to feed herself. does she look ready? do your best with your house but don't stop her from developing because of it. u can test her out on feeding herself, but unless she's special needs we all know she will learn how to feed herself. idk if a large tarp is gonna help bc i'm in hte same situation concerning cleaning, the tarp is gonna give you something else to clean espcially if it's large. if you get something smaller at least you can just take it to the tub and rinse it off and lay it on the side of tub 2 dry. have a washcloth available to clean baby, give her a t-shirt you don't care about getting dirty, when taking it off, roll it up over her head so nothing falls out. then unroll it over a trash can.wash cloth for hands and face and a sponge for table & chair. make things easy not hard and enjoy watching her grow bc it happens way 2 quickly

Patricia - posted on 07/01/2010

try to let her eat more with a spoon, when u have the time to clean up. Children should master the spoon, by age 18 months to 2 yrs. but that takes lots of practice.! Good luck

Sandy - posted on 07/01/2010

I am in the same boat, thank you for posting this! My daughter just turned one and while she will feed herself those toddler crunchies, cut up food, etc she hasn't used the spoon much really. I hate having to clean it up, splat mat or no.

I suppose I am in the same boat and need to tarp the house and let her go.

My son was similar I think we let him play with the spoon (cause not much food ever hit the mouth) at this point more, but he's fully capable of a lot at 3.

Sonia - posted on 07/01/2010

My daughter turned one on May 31. I don't usually let her feed herself in the mornings when she has oatmeal or other baby cereal. But I will let her feed herself if it a not to messy food for lunch. And at dinner I let her have at it because I know she will be going in the bath afterwards. I've only recently let her use a spoon and she does try to feed herself with it, but she usually gets frustrated and uses her fingers. I think it is important to let them learn to feed themselves, but you don't have to let them do everything all the time. When they do start to master the spoon then let them feed themselves the messier foods. Hope this helps and good luck!

Kristin - posted on 06/30/2010

by about a year my daughter didn't want help anymore. they have to practice eating with silverware in order to be able to do without making a mess. my daughter is 4yrs old and occasionally she still spills or drops something. there is never going to be a point without some mess to clean up.

Annette - posted on 06/30/2010

I believe my daughter was around 10 months when she absolutely refused to let me feed her! She just had to do it herself! So we brought a plastic sheet we put under her high chair and stripped her down to her nappy and let her go. She made such a huge mess, but in the end it was easier to put her straight in the bath afterwards and hose down the sheet outside. Or you can use a bed sheet or something, that can just throw into the washing machine afterwards. Only chore required is to wipe down the highchair!
Learning independence is a natural and healthy thing for any child and should be encouraged whenever possible.
Mess is good, it means they are having fun.

Ada - posted on 06/30/2010

let her it on her own i raised 4 children and they all were eating on their own its a joy cleaning up is not so bad i did it with 4 if you dont you will never get anything done dont worry it will get easier

Tanasha - posted on 06/30/2010

Children can't learn to feed themseves if you never give them the opportunity to do so. I started letting my daughter self-fed a about 8 monts when she was able to grasp finger food more easily. She started spoon practice at about a year and don't want to freak you out even more, but children are messy eaters. if you let them be kids and that ivolves a lotof hand usage as well as utensil usag. At 3, my daughter still makes a pretty decent sized mess because she is still learning. Children can be expected to make messes until at least age 5 and probably a bit beyond while they learn.

Kelly - posted on 06/30/2010

I know what it's like with the mess, but it is encouraged that we let them learn to do it themselves... and they usually have fun dong it too :)

Kimberly - posted on 06/30/2010

Yes, I'm sorry to sound mean but kids make messes, it's a fact of life. So unless you want to continue feeding her until she is who knows how long deal with it. To keep the mess down, put vynal(sp) down. You can buy it at Wal-mart and it is tougher than a tarp. Just get a piece that is a bit bigger than the chair, then you can pick it up and shake it out, outside.

Laura - posted on 06/30/2010

You would be amazed what children can do on their own! I've seen children as young as 9 months cut their own food with a chopper and then feed themselves. The more independence we give them, the more self-confident they become.

Brittany - posted on 06/30/2010

My daughter is 7 months and eats some meals alone. She does throw some of her food around, when it's a lot I just pull out the vacuum and take care of it, it only takes a minute.

Mendy - posted on 06/30/2010

My daughter started feedng herself at around 7 months with finger foods. Things that still required a spoon I helped her with, but I let her manage the fork herself. Just let her try it. She might not be as messy as you think.