Episiotomy - am I crazy to refuse it?

Kim - posted on 07/30/2011

Okay, so I had an episiotomy with my daughter that healed with no problem. However, when giving birth to my son, they had to get him out quickly because the cord was wrapped. With this birth I tore. I can tell you, from experience that tearing takes longer to fully heal. Not to mention it is more painful. With the tear I was also swollen to the point where I couldn't pee for a good 12 hours after giving birth to my son. If it is an option, I would go for the episiotomy again as opposed to tearing again.

Megan - posted on 11/18/2009

I already told u that i did tear n that if the doctor hadnt stepped in, i woodve torn rite to my anus n bin in big trouble so the epi worked 4 me No complaints here!!

Stephanie - posted on 10/24/2009

i had a c-section so i have not gone through this but from what i have heard if the doctor thinks you are going to tear it is better to have a epi. because it is less painful than ripping and heals faster.

Stephanie - posted on 10/24/2009

i had a c-section so i have not gone through this but from what i have heard if the doctor thinks you are going to tear it is better to have a epi. because it is less painful than ripping and heals faster.

Kathleen - posted on 10/24/2009

it's been a long time, but I had one with my daughter and was glad I did. Then my son they jsut din't and I tore all the wya to my but and had lots of stitches. I was mad the doctor didn't even consier it and he was the same one who delivered my daughter. My duaghter was like 5 lbs and my son 8 lbs. Okay she came out really quick and was butt first but still. But tehn wehn I was pregnant with my third and we were taking lamaze, it was my husbnads first they stressed if you relax you won't tear. That was good advice when i didn't make it to hospital and she was born on teh bathroom floor I totally relxed, she was 8 lbs and I didn't even need stitches! My last one at 5 lbs came too quick as well and I again needed no stitches and he was 5 lbs. So in my opinion it would depend on size of baby how much you relax and how you feel about the whole thing.

April - posted on 10/21/2009

I didn't have an episiotomy for the birth of my son, and I did tear, but nothing too bad. I can't remember the number of stitches I needed, but it wasn't anything extreme, which is surprising seeing as they first had to turn him as he was facing the wrong way (not upside down as in breech, but facing the wrong way kinda thing) and then he got stuck and they needed to use the forceps to pull him out and he was almost 10 lbs. I believe I only had 3-5 stitches, which for my situation, wasn't bad at all. I was of course tender afterwards, but nothing a nice cold frozen maxi couldn't solve in the first few days, and then sitting carefully for the next week. lol

Whenever I have my second child, I'll go for the natural tear again over the cut for sure, unless otherwise suggested by my doctor.

Diane - posted on 10/21/2009

I suggest talking to your doctor about it.



It has been a long time ago, however when I pregnant with my daughter, my doctor told me if I am asked if I want an episiotomy; don't refuse it because even though I am 5'7' I do not have a large frame. Well, when I was in labor, the doctor who delivered my daughter didn't ask me and did not do an episiotomy. I tore and was in a lot of pain the next day, difficult to sit.



My second pregnancy, different Doctor, did not ask and did the episiotomy. What a difference! I awoke the next morning, got up, took a shower and was sitting up waiting for the nurse to bring my son into my room.



Everyones body is different, so talk to your doctor about which is best for you.

Laura - posted on 10/21/2009

My first was natural and tore and they just froze site and sewed. Even though they froze legs as well didn't feel a thing. Mind you she was not a large baby. If my daughter had her son naturally she would not be so lucky he was really big. Was sore for bit and they put ice on to help. Never heard of having episiotomy before

Adriana - posted on 10/21/2009

the dotor should be able to stretch you with oil i have had 4 kids no epi but my niece did had 12 stiches she said it was the worst

Adriana - posted on 10/21/2009

the dotor should be able to stretch you with oil i have had 4 kids no epi but my niece did had 12 stiches she said it was the worst

Alison - posted on 10/21/2009

The studies are conflicting, but I was given the advice that natural tearing is better than getting an episiotomy. Many hospitals don't even offer them unless you ask. I did tear, but I didn't know about it until I was told. Recovery from either will be uncomfortable, but not as bad as people make it out to be.

Adrienne - posted on 10/21/2009

Quoting Lorin:

Episiotomy - am I crazy to refuse it?

I wouldn't have made a new question but I couldn't find any advice in the other conversations... just stories from those who had an episiotomy. I want to hear from women who did NOT have the episiotomy and who tore naturally.

My college bio professor insisted that an episiotomy is unnecessary and unnatural, and I've been getting attached to the idea of refusing to have one and letting the tear happen if it will. My husband's got a huge head and was an emergency C-section, and he and his two brothers were all large babies, so I think it's safe to assume that the issue will arise for us in the delivery room next January.

I've only heard horror stories from the moms who got the epi, and none from those who didn't. Along the same line, I haven't heard any happy tales from the epi moms. Can anybody give me a reason that I SHOULD opt for the episiotomy, or tell me they wish they'd done it instead of going naturally? Thanks!

I would definitely keep an open mind when I made my decision.  I had an episiotomy on my first  and one subsequent child and am glad I did.  My incisions healed quickly and well with very little scarring.   Your delivery nurse can have a great impact if she is willing to massage your perineum consistently during labor, making an episiotomy unneccessary.  But, if you are going to tear the doctor making the incision would be much easier to repair and much more controllable as to where it will happen.  My mother tore with my older sister and the jagged tear went all the way down into her thigh causing excrutiating pain and a very long healing process.  If the doctor had interverned she would have still had an incision, but one that did not impede her ability to walk or care for her newborn.  I am sure you will do your homework and make the right decision for YOU, and hopefully this is not a decision you will have to make at all!  Of  my four children it was only necessary for two. 

Joanna - posted on 10/21/2009

haha oh boy. I've had an episiotomy once and tore naturally once. Let me tell you the episiotomy was a whole lot easier!!! When I tore after not getting one, it took sooooo long to stitch and it was really painful (I hadn't had the epidural, so it as very sensitive). The episiotomy was easy and quick to stitch up. I'd say get the episiotomy rather than tear naturally, but that's just me. the length and sensitivity when they stitched my tear still brings me to shudder. ugh.

Kristine - posted on 10/21/2009

It all depends on how large the baby is. I had an episiotomy with my daughter and it only took 4 stitches. However, when having my son, he didn't give the doctor a chance, and I ripped majorly, ( the doc had to put 14 stitches....ouch). So this may go against the grain, but I would rather have an episiotomy then tear any day

Robyn - posted on 10/21/2009

I had a very long painful labor (back labor over 2days), I had an epidural for the labor but it was turned off for delivery to make it quicker so I could feel all contractions, I had a small episiotomy, I didn't feel the cutting or the stitching. My doctor knew I didn't want anything unless it had to be done I left it up to her. I was sore for about a week, after I went home though other than muscle sorness on the rest of my body I didn't have pain in that area. I just really didn't want the c-sec and this was the way to get her out. 8lbs .5oz

Baylee - posted on 10/21/2009

I am a tiny woman, tiny hips, just tiny in general. I had an 8lb7oz baby boy, and I didn't tear or have an episiotomy. It all just depends on how well the nurse helps stretch you out and everything.

Rachel - posted on 10/21/2009

HERE IS THE DIFFERENCE: If you get an epi, and they cut you, the cut is relatively small, and perfectly straight, which makes it easy for them to stitch up, and easier for it to heal. If you tear naturally, you tear jaggedly (zig-zag rip) which is harder to stitch, and means MORE stitches, and often, longer recovery. Plus, you tend to rip more than they would actually cut you.

I had an epi, and I have NO horror stories. It was a small cut, just enough to help the baby get out easier, AND to PREVENT me from ripping even worse. I had only a few stitches (less than 4 I believe) and while I was sore, yes, I'm pretty sure that area would have been sore as hell no matter had been done to me! It didn't itch like crazy, and it didn't even take more than maybe a couple weeks to heal. Lmao, seriously, the recovery was not that bad! I could still get up and walk around and take care of my baby and stuff no problem. Oh, and I didn't get a chance to refuse, they did it because it was what was best for me! I would prefer not to rip the hell outta myself, anyways...who wants a big ass jagged rip that that needs a million stitches??

FYI: My aunt ripped once cuz she refused the epi - she ripped all the way from front to back - seriously! Over a hundred stitches, and about 6 months of being bed ridden cuz it was such a mess and hard to heal!! :s



You have to remember tho, that every woman is different, and not everyone will stretch as well as others. If you doc says it's in your best interest to have one, you probably should. Also - walking a lot during pregnancy - especially near the end, helps to open up the whole pelvic area, making birthing easier ;)

Erika - posted on 10/21/2009

I went into labour with an open mind, but the one thing I didn't want was an episiotomy. The thought terrified me... but when I got to the pushing phase, I found out my son's cord was short to begin with and was wrapped around his legs. So every time I pushed, he was pulled further back up. It was causing his heart rate to drop, so the dr said he needed to do an episiotomy to pull the baby out quickly. Again, that was the one thing I did not want... but when your baby's life is potentially in danger, you don't even think about it. I had one... it took a few more weeks to recover, and it was painful, but my son was healthy. My friends who tore during delivery also took awhile to recover. When it comes down to it, most docs don't perform episiotomies for fun, but because they are medically necessary. I would say wait and see. I don't really think its a choice you can make before hand. The challenge is that things don't usually go as planned during labour. Just keep an open mind... good luck

Courtney - posted on 10/21/2009

My first baby was enormous and I am a very tiny person so I tore ALOT and it was the most painful thing I have ever endured in my life (and I have actually been hit by a car). I had an episiodomy with my second child and the recovery was soooo much easier! but i really think everyone's body is different. if the baby has a large head and you are having difficulty getting him/her out naturally, i say small episiodomy will help you. if you seem to be progressing fine, don't do it. if your doctor is willing to do one, use your judgment as you progress and make the call.

Amii - posted on 10/21/2009

I dont know much about it but im sure you could google episiotomy vs tearing naturally, i have heard of massaging your perineum with certain oils to help avoid the situation alltogether!

Amii - posted on 10/21/2009

my mum being a midwife believes that a tear will often be shorter, less painfull and heal sooner than an episiotomy, so thats what i did, I tore with my first but not my second despite the fact that the seconds head was larger, I believe the midwifes present at the first told me to push too hard too soon rather than waiting for my body to tell me what to do as I did with my second. Good luck, you never know you may not even need it the female body is an amazing thing!!!

Inge - posted on 10/21/2009

HI well I can tell you that I opted for an episiotomy vs tearing coz I spoke to a lady that tore naturally and she tore downwards! Since then she had endless problems! I had an episiotomy and it was fine! I havent had any problems!~ OH and my mom had 5 kids all of them with an episiotomy and she also said every doctor told her its better to have a clean cut than have it tear its easier for the doctors to repair!

Good Luck

Megan - posted on 10/20/2009

Hi Lorin I did have one because my daughter tore me heaps If the doctor hadnt of cut me i wouldve tore from my vagina to my anus then i wouldve been in real trouble I didnt feel it and sure it was sore afterwards but not as sore as i couldve been if i didnt have it Everything is normal again n im pleased the doctor did I had two fears-one of them being the episiotomy I know you only wanted to hear from mums that didint have one but i just wanted to let you knw that there is no horror story here Good luck with it all

Maggrate - posted on 10/20/2009

I almost had one but totally refused the idea of having one. Having a doula helped me in making the right decision. I couldn't remember which one came first, but my fear of having to had an episiotomy leads me to my fear of almost had a c-section. Thanks God it's ended up a natural (vaginal) birth. My daughter weighed 7lbs 11ounces. (so easy to remember: seven eleven :-)

Laura - posted on 10/20/2009

My first baby was born in hospital, the only pain relief i had was gas and air. I can remember towards the end the midwives saying shes starting to tear we need to cut. The thought of it totally freaked me out and I was all like please no, but they said it was for the best so I Iet them do it. There was so much going on I hardly noticed it. It was more in my mind that it hurt than anything else. She was 7lb 9.

With my second baby he arrived so quickly I ended up having him at home just as an ambulance arrived. The whole labour took less than three hours and I had no pain relief at all. I wouldn't even say it hurt that much and I didn't give it a moments thought had I torn or not until later when a midwife arrived and had a check and said I had torn quite badly. As soon as she said that it started hurting so again I think it was in my head. He was 8lb 11.

So having experienced both I think without is less painful (but that could be beacuse I was 'numb' from the shock of giving birth on the hallway floor) and I have to say I healed quicker the second time but I think maybe that was because I knew what to expect and I had two children that needed looking after so I had to get back on my feet so to speak.

It is so hard to say what is the right thing to do because every woman is different and every labour is different. My advise to you would be to have a plan but not be surprised or disappointed if you don't or can't stick to it.

Good luck!

Natalia - posted on 10/20/2009

I had an episiotomy with my first two. I was sore and didn't want to get up because of the stitches. But with my third I told my new doctor that I didn't want to have one. I didn't tear but what if I had told the doctor I didn't mind and they did one even when they didn't need to. I would now rather have the chance not to tear. I was up and around the same day I had my daughter and felt great.

Kay - posted on 10/20/2009

Hi hun

I have2 kids and didnt have epi with either had 8stitches with my 1st and none with my 2nd and was equally sore both times to be honest with you in any hospital or doctor around where i live they do not discuss with you what may happen about your birth unless you have health complications or getting planned c section my sister in laws both had epis as 1 had to have ventouse delivery with her son and the other sister in law had forceps delivery with her son both biggish babies 8lb 6oz and 9lb 12oz and the 1 that had the 9lb 12oz is very petite i have always been told that tearing is always better than being cut as when you tear it aint right through the muscle and if the tear is going to be very bad then you should have epi if your doctor is worried about size of babies head then you shoud have ultrasound to make sure babies head can pass through your pelvis x

Sebrina - posted on 10/20/2009

So you know, my son was 7 pounds 13 ounces. My doctor had just stated that I was going to need one. I ripped from here to Sunday before he had the chance.

Sebrina - posted on 10/20/2009

Please Please don't refuse it. It can mean the difference between 10 even stitches or, as in my case, 63 stitches.

Jessica - posted on 10/20/2009

Mine wasn't a problem at all. It healed up just fine & was better than having several tears. My son was crowned for well over an hour & that's the only reason I got an epi, to give a little more room for him to come out, since it was taking so long. I have a friend who had 7 tears from having her 1st kid & was miserable b/c she had to have all of those tears stitched; so she had to have a lot more stitches than required from an epi.

It's up to you. it's your body. Do what you are most comfortable with. You will only know that the choice you make is the right one after you've made it, so if you have a second child you can repeat it or do it differently.

Best of luck to you! I hope you have a smooth labor!!

User - posted on 10/20/2009

From experience, tearing is so much worse than an episiotomy. I tore with my first son and the three weeks following the tear was horrible. I had an episiotomy with my second son and everything went perfectly fine and my recovery was great. I was able to do everything normally two weeks after the delivery! I couldnt feel the stitches and they didnt irritate me or anything.



I would recommend a episiotomy, for sure. But whatever you decide to do make sure its your decision that will be best for you and your baby! Good luck with your remaining pregnancy months and delivery!

Kati - posted on 10/20/2009

I think the questions comes down to do you trust your dr and the team that delivers you. I had a small baby but tore as she threw an elbow out. It required 3 stiches. I didn't actually feel it as the back labor was the worst part and I had a natural childbirth that went very fast in the hospital (only in about an hour before I delivered). Bottom line was that I trusted my ob to make the right decision. We had discussed that I wanted a natural childbirth. He did a great job.

Eka - posted on 10/20/2009

I did it ! nothing to worry...just trust your doctor ! at that time I just want my baby come out and finish the process of delivery !

Rachael - posted on 10/20/2009

they can and most likel will measure the circumfrence of the babys head durring ultrasounds - the closest one to the pregnancy should be your tool in figureing out whether this is right for you. For my first daughter i had the epi and i am thankful - but for my second i only had a few stitches and didnt have an epi (however my labia ripped the first couple layers of skin (*no stitches needed*) and it felt like someone was holding a hot poker on me (especially when i urinated)

my friend went midwife and no epi and ripped from here to there and the recovery time was long and ardurous compared to about 5 to 6 weeks with the epi (since it is a straight surgical cut - and not some ramdom peice together stitching)

Debbie - posted on 10/20/2009

hi i can only tell you my experiance whitch is a horror story to cut a long story short had a very difficult labour pushed for 4 and a half hours had an epeisiotemy whitch is still sore to this day not all the time mostly during sex and my sons 19 months old! i had a forceps birth because my boy was trying to come out on the side of his head so i needed one and i couldnt have cared less when i was i lalor how much they cut me as long as my bby was safe.At the end of the day i hope you have enough trust in your dr to beleive that he/she will do the right thing by you and your bub and while i dont recomend one if they have to do it ask them to cut staight and not to the side.All the best of luck to you and your new addition.

ps...remember every birth storys different so i hope yours is a dream

Rachel - posted on 10/19/2009

i wouldnt say my son was huge but he was big 8lb 5 n 35 head i had him all naturally n i only tore a little bit id say i wouldnt go with the eppie as u would miss out on the whole experience i had planeed for an eppie or any drugs for that matter but b4 i realised i could have any drugs he was out n it only took me about 4-5 weeks to heal fro the tear n wouldnt have had it any other way any furure babies i may have i plan to have naturally

Desiree' - posted on 10/19/2009

I had an 8lbs 1oz baby girl, with no epi.... but also did not tear at all! So got pretty lucky. My sister on the other hand tore from front to back with her 9lbs baby.... And said it was unbelievably painful when it happened and after. The problem with natural tearing is that it is sometimes hard to sew back together cleanly.... Meaning it tears in a jagged way instead of an easy straight cut an epi would provide. So my recommendation would be, if the doctor thinks you're going to tear, then allow them to perform an epi. My Sister had a really awful time healing and still has issues because of the way she tore. But its all personal choice! :) I wish you the best of luck! Remember it IS possible to not tear or have an epi!! I'm proof!! :)

Cassie - posted on 10/19/2009

I had one with my oldest, who was 8 lbs 8.8 oz, and it was the worst feeling of my life. i had more stitches with it than i even knew possible for down there. when i had my youngest, the doc let me tear naturally, and i was up running around the very next morning. 3 stitches from having my youngest, and he said i didn't even really need them. if i had to do my first one over, i would have told them to go to hell and let me tear on my own. i healed a lot faster the 2nd time (was back to work in 2 weeks) as opposed to having trouble moving around for a month after my oldest. if they leave it up to you, i'd tell them no. but that's just me. good luck with whatever happens though and congrats on the little one on the way!

Carolyn - posted on 10/19/2009

I had and episotom and I would say that if i had to do it all over again i would not have it. the ppl i had in the room were horrified when the doc did it cuz he didnt pay much attention. it took me about 6 weeks to heal because it was so deep. i think that letting it happen naturally would be your best option. best of luck !!

Lise - posted on 10/19/2009

First I believe there is a place for everything... Tearing naturally is better in the sense that the muscles will heal easier because of the lack of an unnatural cut of the fibres.



On the other hand, if your baby's head is unusually large, you should be prepared to have an episiotomy. Explain your concern to your doctor. You don't want this natural tear to reach your anus... This will create many problems in the future. Be open to the possibilities and that your doctor will make the best decision at that time. Grandma

Anna - posted on 10/19/2009

do what you feel is right. i tore fairly badly. but about 5 days after labour i went for a nice gentle walk with my baby in stroller. it felt wonderful and it healed really quickly after that. and i felt wonderful getting some fresh air and sunshine.

Helen - posted on 10/19/2009

I had an episiotomy and was fine, didnt feel a thing..I had to have one as my daughter's heartbeat increased and her head was ever so slightly to the side and not in the best position for coming out, she therefore needed some assistance..the pain i had afterwards was bearable and the stitches dissolved within about 10 days if i remember rightly. I went into hospital not wanting one and fully intending on refusing, but when they tell you your baby is in distress, you'll do anything to get them out safely, and if it means having an episiotomy, then so be it, i'd much rather this than a caesarian section-so much longer to heal..If i have to have another episiotomy with my next pregnancy i will. I also had the initial impression that the cut was goin to be from one hole to the other (sorry cant think of a better way to say it!)..but it really wasnt..they cut to the side nowadays, so it was a lot less traumatising than i had been led to believe it was going to be.

Good luck whatever you decide, but really..they aren't all that bad!! x

Brenda - posted on 10/19/2009

I wouldnt tear so it was either have a c-section or get cut. I choose to let them cut me down there instead of cutting my belly. Wasnt bad at all.

Kelly - posted on 10/19/2009

I tore naturally and had a 2nd degree laceration.... It was pretty bad. My tear took 8 weeks to heal and I had to get some kind of skin debriedment because it didn't heal right... Everyone is different, it's impossible to predict what will happen. I wish you the best of luck and no tearing! :)

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

four babies, all vaginal births. last one ten pounds. Tiny inconsequential tear with her, DID NOT FEEL IT. One stitch by the midwife. resumed sex life two weeks later, all good. That was 19 years ago, still doing extremely well.

Karen - posted on 10/19/2009

YES you are. The repair can be much, much harder to repair.

Sarah - posted on 10/19/2009

An epi does not prevent you from tearing. I had one and still had a really bad tear. However, the epi scar took loads longer to heal than where they stitched the tear.

Mary - posted on 10/19/2009

Dont do the Epi...I've given birth three times, no episiotomy and only a slight tear with my first. Then I learned of Perinea l massage. I'm not a professional so look this up, but what it is is massaging the perineum with oils to naturally soften it and this allows it to stretch much better in delivery. It worked great for me, after giving birth I was fine to sit Indian style on my hospital bed and I felt minimum pain down there while recovering.

Tracey - posted on 10/19/2009

no you are not crazy!i tore some but the midwife said it went in such a way it was the same if she would have made a cut-i have heard stories that it takes longer to heal when they do cut you...now i did have an epidural so i didn't even know i tore but even if i hadn't i still wouldn't have let them

Crystal - posted on 10/18/2009

well i didnt have one and didnt tear that much so no dont

Alison - posted on 10/21/2009

The studies are conflicting, but I was given the advice that natural tearing is better than getting an episiotomy. Many hospitals don't even offer them unless you ask. I did tear, but I didn't know about it until I was told. Recovery from either will be uncomfortable, but not as bad as people make it out to be.

Kristine - posted on 10/21/2009

It all depends on how large the baby is. I had an episiotomy with my daughter and it only took 4 stitches. However, when having my son, he didn't give the doctor a chance, and I ripped majorly, ( the doc had to put 14 stitches....ouch). So this may go against the grain, but I would rather have an episiotomy then tear any day

Amii - posted on 10/21/2009

I dont know much about it but im sure you could google episiotomy vs tearing naturally, i have heard of massaging your perineum with certain oils to help avoid the situation alltogether!

Inge - posted on 10/21/2009

HI well I can tell you that I opted for an episiotomy vs tearing coz I spoke to a lady that tore naturally and she tore downwards! Since then she had endless problems! I had an episiotomy and it was fine! I havent had any problems!~ OH and my mom had 5 kids all of them with an episiotomy and she also said every doctor told her its better to have a clean cut than have it tear its easier for the doctors to repair!

Good Luck