Exhausted Baby and Mommy!

Mel - posted on 03/26/2009

let her cry!! she doesnt need a bottle shes just used to it if she uses a dummy try that when our daughter woke we gave her a dummy and it worked well. other then that not sure havent had alot of experience with it my daughter almost always sleep very well

Allison - posted on 03/26/2009

We let me daughter cry it out as well! But if you don't feel comfortable doing it until he falls asleep set a timer! the first night set it for say 20m and then the next night make it for longer and so on and so forth! that way you don't feel to terrible!

Tricia - posted on 03/25/2009

I just posted on another page about this! My daughter was the same...only way she would sleep was to nurse to sleep.It was an all night buffet! She was exhausted and cranky and so was I! When I did more research it seemed to make sense- she was nursing for comfort- but then the nursing was making her overfull- and causing her stomach to be upset. Plus she would fall asleep nursing and so would I so I would miss burping her which was complicating the problem. I did the Ferber method- which does involve crying - but you go in and reassure them in set intervals. My daughter was 4 1/2 months and it took 3 days. I also slowly decreased the night time nursings. We were going from about 5-6 times a night- then the first night I went to 3 (when she woke I would either nurse her or do the whole Ferber sleep train) and then the third night I went to 1 time- then the fourth night she slept thru. If she is used to the comfort and the full feeling- you have to decrease that slowly. Stick to it...it is so worth it for you and her!!
Look at it as teaching her how to sleep without nursing.

Jordan - posted on 03/25/2009

my son now 2.9 has always slept in the "family bed" :-) we never made him "cry it out" to each his own...for us we decided that working with his natural tendencies and sleep challenges only represents a very small window in our overall time line...we only get one chance to love them well :-)

Gretchen - posted on 03/25/2009

My best suggestion for getting your baby to sleep without the full on cry it out is.. to let them cry for about 10 minutes and then go in for about 30-45 seconds only to verbally shush them and pat them but do not pick them up! Then leave again even if they are still crying and tell them to go nite nite. Repeat the process again after 10 minutes and again until they finally go to sleep. This worked awesome on my 5 month old after he used to get up every 2 hours also. It only took one weekend and he almost lost his voice from crying but he is now almost 3 years old and still sleeps thru the night with no problems at all. My 5 month old daughter has been sleeping thru the night with this method for about 3 months now. The trick is to stick to what you are doing and don't pick her up because then you are confusing her into thinking that if she cries long enough you will pick her up eventually.  Don't give up because if you are persistant it will work. I got this from Dana Obleman who invented the Sleep Sense Program. Check her out on line. She is my angel from God to getting my children to sleep. I hope this works for you!

Mollie - posted on 03/25/2009

I have been dealing with the same thing with my 5 1/2 month old son. I called my peditrican and this is what she said: A container of fruit and cereal in the AM, 1 container of fruit and 1 veggie at lunch and a container of fruit and cereal in the PM. I wasn't sure where to stick the nursing in throughout the day so I just nurse him before he goes down for a nap.

I have stuck to a routine, not a schedule.

He doesn't really have a "bedtime/naptime" but I follow the E.A.S.Y. routine by Tracy Hogg (The Baby Whisperer). E=Eat, A=Activity, S=Sleep, Y=Yourself (meaning time for yourself).

So in the last few weeks this is what has gone on.....Wakes at 9am I feed him right away with the fruit and cereal, let him play until he starts getting fussy and/or rubbing his eyes. I'll nurse him and put him down (usually gets crabby around 11:30am) and he'll sleep for roughly an hour to and hour and a half. Once he wakes I start the whole process over until nightime when he goes to bed for the night around 9pm and will sleep until 2am in which I nurse him and pop him back into bed and he'll sleep until 7am, I nurse and then  he'll sleep until 9am.

I didn't know if this was going to work cause I was told to feed whenever he was acting hungry but I created a monster with that. Also,  we were letting him sleep with us and then in his bassinet in our room because it was easier for me to roll over and grab him since I was up every 1-2 hours. I turned into a big pacifier and was beggining to lose it without sleep. He is now sleeping in his crib and we are all getting a good amount of sleep.

My Dr. told me that eventually he will not need that 2am feeding but it will take time. She also said that if he cries between 10 and 2 to let it go and not pick him up. He'll eventually learn that when he's in his crib it's time to go to sleep.

Hope this helps!! Good Luck!

Katrina - posted on 03/25/2009

my son was waking up every 2 hours as well and my doctor told me to thicken up his bottle before bedtime with pablum it worked awesome he is in bed by 930 then i give him another pablum bottle without waking him up and he will sleep right through till 10

i hope hope this works for you

Rachel - posted on 03/25/2009

can i suggest if you have real trouble contact the tresillian nurse i actually found out you can talk to them during th day on msn rather than calling them they will guide you they are all registered nurses add this email address to your msn messenger, my daughter was waking every two hours i took advice from tresillian i not only have her sleeping through the night now but sleeping through the night and in her own big bed they really work wonders. the email addy is tresilliannurse1@bigpond.com every person and child is different try them.

Rachel - posted on 03/25/2009

can i suggest if you have real trouble contact the tresillian nurse i actually found out you can talk to them during th day on msn rather than calling them they will guide you they are all registered nurses add this email address to your msn messenger, my daughter was waking every two hours i took advice from tresillian i not only have her sleeping through the night now but sleeping through the night and in her own big bed they really work wonders. the email addy is tresilliannurse1@bigpond.com every person and child is different try them.

Stephanie - posted on 03/25/2009

I'm alucky mum my daughter who is now 7 months has been sleeping through since she was 3 weeks old. My cousin in law had a similar problem where her son only slept for 45 mins and that was it. A technique that works is to reboot your daughters sleeping pattern, what that means is put them in a dark room and i mean really dark room no light at all for 24 hours, this reprograms the brain and helps with sleeping patterns in young childern who won't sleep. You feed and change in the dark with the assistance of a night light only.

I hope that you get some rest for both you and your daughter soon.

Shivali - posted on 03/24/2009

I have a question for those of you that had success with the CIO method....I have a son that is 5 and 1/2 months and I am going to try CIO as we are getting up almost every hour in the night!  I have tried numerous other strategies with no luck.

So, lets say I let him CIO when he is put in his crib for the night after his bedtime routine, and he eventually falls asleep, what do I do about his night wakings after that?  Do I feed him? Or just let him CIO all over again?  Or do I feed him and then put him down to CIO? Not sure what to do with the night wakings....what worked for you guys when you started this method of sleep training?

Trudi - posted on 02/22/2009

hi there. have you tried a nice warm bath just before bedtime. put a small pillow underneath the babys matress  so the baby is raised slightly i found none of my babies liked to lie flat. and play some very soft baby music in the backround. hope this helps.

Joy - posted on 02/22/2009

Quoting Krystelle:

I don't feel that wanting our babies to sleep well at night is selfish. I have been very attentive to her and have always gone to her when she cries at night, but there is a certain point at which this can not go on any longer. She is not getting enough sleep period. When I see that my baby girl is tired and grumpy and rubbing her eyes all day even after naps I know that something needs to change. I want her to sleep better for her own sake not mine. There is nothing selfish at all about that. She is my life and my world and everything I do is for her and I'm sure that is how all the mothers on here feel, regardless of how they have dealt with their children's sleeping problems.

There's no need to argue and fight over what is best. Different things work for different parents. If you feel that what you are doing is best than you do not need to justify it or defend it. I simply wanted to know what other mothers found to be helpful and then I will take all that advice and apply what works best for us.

Krystelle I agree and I dont even think it is selfish if you want her to sleep so you can get some rest. It is so so important that you are also rested so that you can continue to care for her to the best of your ability. This is not going to happen if you are tired and stressed. Both of you need your proper sleep and it can also take a toll on your realtionship with hubby. 

When ur baby wakes at night does she scream and cry or can you just hear her babbling and you get up because you feel that is what you are meant to do? See all babies wake during the night it is just that some babies are skilled at getting themselves back to sleep by themselves without mummy or dummy or bottle and Im afraid as parents ts our job to teach them. My son does wake thru the night (i hear him on the monitor) but he doesnt scream or cry he just babbles and then goes back to sleep. I learnt how to teach him from Save our Sleep by Tizzie Hall and I read it from cover to cover about 3 times over and just applied to his needs.

You sound like a great mum who is doing her best and just wants her child and herself to get some proper sleep to enjoy eachother even more! Good Luck with your journey!

Andrea - posted on 02/22/2009

How about changing the whole bed time routine? With my son we did the following:



About an hour before his bed time we started to "prepare" him. Like first dinner, then either a bath or wash him and brush his teeth, then put his pj's on, and read one or two stories to him and put him into his crib. When he would wake up, I would go into his room and comfort him with rubbing his back or stroking his head for a while (but never really pick him up). I would do this for about 1 minute and then leave the room again. He would start screaming bloody murder and I would wait 2-3 minutes, go in again, repeat and walk out again. Screaming followed again, I would wait 5 minutes and go in again, reassure him, leave again, and so forth. I just make it more and more minutes before I would walk into the room but still go in so that he knows that I'm not leaving him alone. It took us about 1 week but I didn't had to let him cry it out alone for hours. He knew I'm there but that it's time to sleep. I admit that that week was hard but I just didn't want to leave him all alone.



We did the same by the way when it was time to move to a toddler bed. I put a gate in the door instead of closing it all together. So he didn't get scared to be in his room alone because he still had light from the hall way. And when he would start crying I would go to the gate, tell him that mommy and daddy love him but that its time to go sleep now. And I would never stay longer than a minute. It worked for us and maybe it's worth a try. Good luck to you.

Reut - posted on 02/22/2009

My son is now 11 months old and on a very tight schedule but wasnt always! I also nurse so I went through the same thing!....Its going to be hard but you need to be tough! Put her in bed at about 8 or so (and each night a bit earlier until she is on schedule) but start at about 8 and just put her in her crib and hug her, rub her back, play mobile music and just keep saying "its ok" "its ok" so she feels safe...then leave the room for 5 minutes and come back in, dont pick her up! just keep rubbing her back etc...then leave for 10 min, then 15 and keep coming in every 15 min that night...the next night u will do 10 min then 15 then 20 and keep it at 20....the next few night keep it at 20 (dont go longer than 20 min) the point is is that she will realize that you are there and will always come back but that there is a bed time! and about nap time, when you see her yawning thats it, its time for a nap no more playing...hope this helps! ask me any question if you need!!! i did this and now my 11 month old has been sleeping for months on a tight schedule (nap at 12pm everyday and bedtime at about 7:30pm)

Cathy - posted on 02/22/2009

we started my daughter on a sleep "routine" at 8 wks and by 12 wks she was sleeping through the night. You're right about the habitual part of her waking up. That's just what she's been used to. Try starting new bedtime routines with her. I'll share mine and hopefully it will help you. She would start with 1/2hr of playing in her room. At about 7pm, we would start bedtime with her lying in her crib listening to music. I would give her a bath with the same bedtime music playing. She would have a bottle after her bath, then I read her a bedtime story(same story every night). The bedtime music would play for about 20mins then turn off automatically...just enough time for her to drift off. eventually, she didn't need the music anymore ( i think by about 5months). we would put her in her crib and she would just fall asleep. Hope this helps. GOOD LUCK :)

Jill - posted on 02/22/2009

With my first child (now 13 yrs) we were told NEVER let him sleep on his stomach.  So he'd nap for 35 minutes and wake up every time.  He slept longer at night on his back...somehow.  At about 9 months, he flipped over to his stomach and was able to sleep longer during naps.  I have found with my children that they cannot re-settle themselves on their backs...they have to be on their stomachs. 

I also let my one child who kept waking up at night cry herself back to sleep.  I also did not allow a pacifier in bed.  She'd lose it and I'd have to get up and put it back in.  So she did cry on and off for 90 minutes the first night.  She can now "talk" herself to sleep at nap and nighttime.  If she does wake up earlier in the morning than she usually does, you can hear her talking a little and going back to sleep.  She is now 7 months old.  If your daytime feeding routine is regular (every 4 to 5 hours) then most babies can go 10-12 hours without needing to eat.  We've begun food but not at the last feeding of the day and she still sleeps 9-10 hours at night and has two naps (combined time is 4 hours).

I also did not nurse mine to sleep (or give a bottle).  Feedings came at the time they woke up and not before sleep.  They need to learn to fall asleep on their own.

I actually found I could sneak into her room while she was crying during the night and check on her.  It helped to ease my mind.

Krystelle - posted on 02/22/2009

I don't feel that wanting our babies to sleep well at night is selfish. I have been very attentive to her and have always gone to her when she cries at night, but there is a certain point at which this can not go on any longer. She is not getting enough sleep period. When I see that my baby girl is tired and grumpy and rubbing her eyes all day even after naps I know that something needs to change. I want her to sleep better for her own sake not mine. There is nothing selfish at all about that. She is my life and my world and everything I do is for her and I'm sure that is how all the mothers on here feel, regardless of how they have dealt with their children's sleeping problems.

There's no need to argue and fight over what is best. Different things work for different parents. If you feel that what you are doing is best than you do not need to justify it or defend it. I simply wanted to know what other mothers found to be helpful and then I will take all that advice and apply what works best for us.

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2009

My baby has slept pretty good through the night, we have a music projector from Homedics that works amazing... I put on either the lullabies or the "white noise" ones like rain or heartbeat or waves and the projector on the ceiling so the noise soothes him and the projector which has 3 discs you can change out with different scenes or animals that rotate, distracts him and he watches it go around and around until he drifts off to sleep. Also maybe anything with lavender like a nice warm lavender bath or a little lavender oil on her chest will help relax her. Good luck!

Barbara - posted on 02/21/2009

Quoting Stacy:

Quoting Corrine:

Quoting Glenda:

Only in the western world is co-sleeping not recommended, but that is not the question. Get The Baby Whisper book and try some of her tactics for teaching your child to sleep. As for crying it out I could never do it to my children, my kids will always have the security of knowing I am there when they call. Being a Mom is very exhausting at times but one day we will look back and miss the moments when our children needed us.

I am always there for my children. Just because they cried for one night doesn't mean I'm not there for them. If they are sick and up at night of course I'm there, or if they have a bad dream, need something, are scared, ect. One night of letting them fall asleep by themselves did not teach them that I "wasn't there for them"  I'm there for them every single day all day and night if they need me. And if they wake up crying at night now, I know it's not just because they know they'll get to get out of bed, but because they really have a problem, to which of course I am there for.

Hang in there Corrine, I'm with you!

First off, although our government now seems bound and determined to destroy our health care system, for now we still have the best in the world and it is quite clear that co-sleeping is a BAD idea.  

Also, I would guess that Corrine's children will grow up to be much more independent and productive people that those who allow their children to "rule the roost" by keeping the entire family sleep deprived for so many months.  How does ANYONE in a household that doesn't sleep through the night function properly?

Actually, France has the best healthcare system on the planet, according the WHO's ranking of the world's health systems.  We are no. 37 on the list.  (Right behind Costa Rica, but still beatin' Slovenia.  Yeah!)

Most babies in the world sleep with their mothers.  It is only in our culture that we have decided to put them all alone in their own rooms, which is not the natural way of our species.  If it works for you, great.  If not, cosleeping makes it not matter if your baby wakes up every two hours, you still get to sleep.  You don't have to wake up and go resettle the baby, you just offer a breast and nod off again.  I don't know what you are talking about when you say that we are allowing our children to "rule the roost" by doing this.  For us, and for most of the rest of the world, it is the sleeping arrangement that makes the most sense.  I wish you had some real perspective on what it is like to cosleep.  I think you'd see things a little differently then, and not be so quick to judge.

Lacey - posted on 02/21/2009

Obviously everyone has many different opinions. We need to respect each other though. If you don't like letting your baby cry then when they first wake up quietly and with little light go in there and cover them back up, give the pacifier back, turn on a little noise (lullaby cd or crib music) and quietly leave. If they start crying wait a few minutes and then do it again. Babies do need to learn to soothe themselves but you don't have to let them cry too long before offering a little comforting. Don't start any habits you don't want to fight to break later.

Kealani - posted on 02/21/2009

I go through the same thing with my 6 month old son...it's part of motherhood. You need to be there for your daughter & comfort her when she needs you...even if it is every two hours in the middle of the night.

Letting your children cry it out just so you can get some sleep is selfish!

Joy - posted on 02/21/2009

Quoting Ashleigh:

Also there is a book called "sos - Save our sleep"

It is brilliant and has helped so much! All my friends that have kids have used it and none of us have had any problems getting any of our kids to sleep, even when teething!

This is a brilliant book. We used it from 5 weeks onwards and have had no problems with our son. Not only does it have routines etc but a lot of helpful advice on sleeping patterns and problems. Good luck!

ps- the book is by Tizzie Hall, best $30 I ever spent!

Krystelle - posted on 02/21/2009

Thanks ladies for all the advice!

I tried changing her feedings before bed to before her bath instead and we also have let her cry a little in her bed. We sit beside and shush her and rub her head. This has seemed to work. She's only woken up 3 times a night instead of 8! lol.  

Jordan - posted on 02/21/2009

hello :-)



I am a mother of a now 2.5 year old son who NEVER slept a wink...so I understand how tired you are. While he sleeps better now...he still doesn't nap, and he still doesn't sleep a full night, and he is very early to rise, and late to fall :-) we tried everything...today we understand that our son is quite spirited, and conventional methods in calming him are just not productive. We always give him a little warm rice before he goes to sleep...it seems to aid in longer sleep "sessions" through the night...we also make sure he gets plenty more activity then many, even after a day of swimming he STILL does NOT sleep...in fact we very recently added a yellow lab pup to the mix and WOW what a great little energetic friend she has turned out to be...still no naps lol lol but he has a partner now that can keep up with him :-) and mommy is able to knock out the dishes and grab a shower AND a blow dry lol lol it took 2.5 years and a puppy but things are beginning to look normal in our home again. I should mention that our son is also advanced for his age in many areas of development including reading and motor skills...he was walking his first christmas at only 7.5 months old...I wonder sometimes if the extra energy these kids have isn't just an extention of their intrinsic drive. I know you are tired...try later feedings, and some later play, maybe even later baths...good luck

Jillian - posted on 02/21/2009

My husband used to rock my daughter to sleep so at 3 months she just expected it everytime she woke up. He of course had had enough and said he couldn't rock her anymore!

We did let her cry it out, but not for long. We'd put her down and after 5 minutes go in and check on her. We did NOT pick her up!!! we just made sure she was comfortable and that nothing was wrong (hungry or dirty) and then left the room. The next time we said we'd wait 10 min and then go in and increase it 5 min everytime we had to go in.

She didn't even take the 10 min! It felt like an eternity but it really worked. Just try to resist picking her up, soothe her of course but no cuddling and no talking, of course you can shhush and make soft sounds but no words. My daughter is now 2 and if she every wakes up in the night we use the same method.

I hope this helps!

Elaine - posted on 02/21/2009

My daughter was waking up every hour after a huge move and I was willing to try anything. I was put onto the book save our sleep by Tizzie Hall (I think) that Ashleigh above mentioned, and for 2 weeks now I have had the best nights. I never followed the milk feeds because I believe in feeding on demand especially because we live in a hot climate but it still worked for me.

Ashleigh - posted on 02/21/2009

Quoting Claire:

i haver had a bedtime routine with all 6 of my children.  i have done the let the cry routine but instead of leaving them to cry and scream on their own for hours, i go into their room, i don't speak to them but i stroke their heads and reassure them that i am still there, i may do this every 4 - 5 minutes and the first night is always the worst.  With my most determined child it took 4 nights.  just let them know you are there and that they are safe, you will crack it.  Girls  please stop arguing with each other, i thought we were on here to help, different things work for different people.

 

That is exactly what i was trying to say!

Its brilliant and it works!

(I agree with the arguing thing to do lol)

Ashleigh - posted on 02/21/2009

Also there is a book called "sos - Save our sleep"

It is brilliant and has helped so much! All my friends that have kids have used it and none of us have had any problems getting any of our kids to sleep, even when teething!

Claire - posted on 02/21/2009

i haver had a bedtime routine with all 6 of my children.  i have done the let the cry routine but instead of leaving them to cry and scream on their own for hours, i go into their room, i don't speak to them but i stroke their heads and reassure them that i am still there, i may do this every 4 - 5 minutes and the first night is always the worst.  With my most determined child it took 4 nights.  just let them know you are there and that they are safe, you will crack it.  Girls  please stop arguing with each other, i thought we were on here to help, different things work for different people.

Ashleigh - posted on 02/21/2009

I'm lucky in the sense that I have had very little trouble with my little boy and he just sleeps through or only wakes up once.

But for something like this I definitely would not recommend letting your child sleep in your bed!!!! That is one of the worse things you could do, imagine if you woke up in the morning and your child wasn't breathing. You would never forgive yourself!

I recommend letting her cry it out. You can do this 2 ways. One way is to just leave her and let her cry which some people do but other people find it hard that way. The other way which I prefer is to put her in her bed and walk away, let her cry for 5 mins then go back. Dont pick her up but just rub her belly and comfort her until she settles a little bit and then leave again. Keep doing that until she goes to sleep but when you leave the room and 5 mins everytime you leave. So leave for 5 then settle her then leave for 10 and so forth.

My mum did this with my brother and she had him sleeping through within a week.

Goodluck!!!!!

Joy - posted on 02/21/2009

one word...ROUTINE especially a bedtime one. I also have found that if my son (5 1/2 mnths) gets his sleeps in thru the day he sleeps better thru the night. He has been sleeping thru since 11 weeks old. This is his bedtime routine:

6pm Bath

6.30pm Bottle

6.45pm cuddle time with mum and dad

6.55pm pj's on and sleeping bag on

7pm lay down in cot for bed

He gets about 3-4 hrs sleep thru the day also on a routine.

He knows this routine and knows what it means...good luck.

Sara - posted on 02/20/2009

I really resent that people seem to equate "Crying it out" with lack of parenting. Everyone has the right to do what they think is right! I think that people choosing to do what is easy and not neccessarily what is healthy hurts your child more than teaching them to soothe themselves at night. I've seen soooo many people who refused using any kind of method, not just CIO, because they were afraid they were being mean to their child to make them sleep alone and now they have a child that runs their household. I personally do not think it is healthy to not give children, even babies, limits. Boundaries are healthy. I think not using some kind of method to help your children become healthy sleepers because yoy don't want to risk upsetting them is lazy parenting.

Jennifer - posted on 02/20/2009

Quoting Corrine:

Quoting Ally:

Quoting Kristen:

I am a firm believer in letting baby "cry it out" - it sounds horrible - and feels horrible for mom & dad - but it works!

My son is now 9 months old  - and he has been sleeping through the night every night since he was 5 months old.  We made him cry it out - it took about a week...but we love the sleep now!

The first night it took him 90 minutes of full screaming & crying to get back to sleep.  I cried for at least an hour while he was crying...because I wanted sooo badly to cuddle him!

The second night it only took 49 minutes.

The third night only 20 minutes.

The fourth and fifth nights he cried for about 10 minutes.

The sixth night he really didn't cry at all...he just woke up and whimpered...then he went back to sleep.

It was REALLY HARD to not go in his room and cuddle him back to sleep...but it was well worth it.

 

This is HARD - and not for everyone...but it worked for us!

please dont let your baby cry it out..i am a registered nurse and can tell you that babies left alone to do this suffer psysically and psychologicaly. Their blood pressure in their brain rises to sometimes dangerous levels the stress hormone cortisol is also over produced during these times, blood does not properly empty from the brain and oxygen levels decrease significantly. These babies left to cry it out are not better sleepers they have simply given up when they realize their caregiver isn't coming to their aid.

 

i simply don't understand moms like kristen who think that the baby needs to be on their scheduel and withold feeding/comforting at night time. 90 min of screaming is like an eternity for a child and is nothing short of cruel.there is a reason it hurts you to listen to it becasue it goes against every mothering instinct that we have. Listen to that feeling!

 

It is our job as moms to be there to comfort our children no one said it would be easy and trust me it often isn't. But krystelle it is also important for you to get some sleep too! I recommend the baby sleep book..it gives great insight into the development of your little one and provides many strategies for getting them into healthy sleep habits...without ever letting them cry it out. it also gives moms and dads great coping skills for those times you have to pull all nighters! If it makes you feel any better babies are not designed to sleep through the night...the constant waking is a protective measure instilled for survival and to keep moms milk supply up...so your baby is perfectly normal in night wakings although once every hour is pretty excessive! I would also recommend giving co-sleeping a shot..it's what we do with our 11 month old and although she still wakes up 1 or maybe 2 times a night to nurse i never even open my eyes and she sleeps from about 9:30 pm-7:30 am...and we all get tons of sleep and lots of cuddles! hang in there this too shall pass and bring that baby to bed with you...its time to get some sleep!

And Oh my! Co-sleeping is one of the biggest causes of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)! it is way too easy to accidentally roll over onto your child and smother her!  There are news reports constanty about babies who died because their mother slept in the bed with them. And it's one of the very first things that the doctor will tell you NEVER to do!

No co-sleeping is not one of the biggest causes of SIDS.  Time to update that data base, do some research.  It is believed tha co-sleeping actually decreases SIDS as the baby and mom get in sync breathing, baby keeps breathing. 

As for CIO, even the biggest proponent, Dr. Sears, has gone back and stated that it is not the right think to do.  People, get up and parent.  Babies were never meant to be left to their own devices.

Jackie - posted on 02/20/2009

I DONT LIKE TO LET THE KID GET ALL STRESSED BY LETTING HER CY IT OUT.IM A MUM OF 2 AND ALWAZYS SLEPT IN WITH THEM,took about 20mins of my time and child goes off asdleep and wakes just once at nite and give soother and shes back asleep.my kids are 11 and 2 and a half. Itotally agree to NOT letting them cry it out.JUST A BIT OF OUR TIME WITH THEM? SO SO PRECIOUS; gOOD LUCK AND HANG IN THERE

Jeanette - posted on 02/20/2009

hi there. I've kinda had that problem with my daughter although she was 4 months and is now nearly 6 months. Its got better now and she only seems to wake up once or twice now. the health visitors kept on telling me to fill her up in the day so she doesnt wake at night but it didn't seem to work. she is on 3/4 8oz bottles plus breakfast, lunch and dinner lol. what does your daughter eat?  I've foudn that trying to fill my daughter up with more fluids during the day works better. your daughter might be waking up due to thirst - which you can't give her milk for as its food. she may not like it at first but keep on persisting.

I'm not sure why you can't get her to sleep during the day. I suppose the routine of sleep hasn't really gotten through to her. you must be persistant. controlled crying works best I feel. I know its heartbreaking hearing her cry but after a week of doing it. she will nod off without a peep. check it out on google for best results.

hope thats helps xx

Stacy - posted on 02/19/2009

Quoting Corrine:

Quoting Glenda:

Only in the western world is co-sleeping not recommended, but that is not the question. Get The Baby Whisper book and try some of her tactics for teaching your child to sleep. As for crying it out I could never do it to my children, my kids will always have the security of knowing I am there when they call. Being a Mom is very exhausting at times but one day we will look back and miss the moments when our children needed us.

I am always there for my children. Just because they cried for one night doesn't mean I'm not there for them. If they are sick and up at night of course I'm there, or if they have a bad dream, need something, are scared, ect. One night of letting them fall asleep by themselves did not teach them that I "wasn't there for them"  I'm there for them every single day all day and night if they need me. And if they wake up crying at night now, I know it's not just because they know they'll get to get out of bed, but because they really have a problem, to which of course I am there for.

Hang in there Corrine, I'm with you!

First off, although our government now seems bound and determined to destroy our health care system, for now we still have the best in the world and it is quite clear that co-sleeping is a BAD idea.  

Also, I would guess that Corrine's children will grow up to be much more independent and productive people that those who allow their children to "rule the roost" by keeping the entire family sleep deprived for so many months.  How does ANYONE in a household that doesn't sleep through the night function properly?

Stacy - posted on 02/19/2009

It's tough, but you have to let her cry it out. I would bet that if you stick with it she will be sleeping through the night in 2 weeks time. Start slow by going back in and soothing her after 10 minutes, but don't pick her up! Just rub her head or belly, let her know you are still there and leave again. Then wait 15 minutes, then 20, etc. But DON'T pick her up! Be consistent and it will work. Good luck!

Ilkay - posted on 02/19/2009

Before you decide on any method, please read the book:
Sleeping Through the Night, Revised Edition: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep by Jodi A. Mindell (Paperback - Mar 15, 2005)

Jode Mindell is the leading sleep expert and makes you understands the dynamics of your child's sleep. Then you can make an informed decision suitable for your baby's age and personality.

I just added the link to the book for you at:
http://www.legacyofpearl.com/tag/Mama+Kn...

Hope this helps!

Nikki - posted on 02/19/2009

Work on trying to do soothing things for the baby before you put her down. Baths before bedtime or even naptime can be really helpful. I started using a bath before naptime with my daughter, but have switched it to bedtime recently to help her wind down at night. As for when she wakes up to nurse, instead of feeding her, just cuddle her in a way that you would normally soothe her if she started crying while awake. Once you withhold those feedings, her body will stop expecting them and she'll start to sleep more. My daughter was doing the same thing for awhile and now is sleeping 7 hours straight at night since I started withholding feeding at night last week. You might also try putting her down on her tummy. Now that mine is rolling everywhere and starting to crawl, she prefers to sleep that way and seems to sleep better. Don't get all caught up in the arguments over best way to get kids to sleep. Do what works for you... and if you need to lay with her for a little bit to get her settled and calmed down, do it. Just be safe. I lay down with my daughter in the afternoons and read a book to get her to nap. That way I take a little time out of my day to rest, and she gets a couple hours of sleep cuddled up to me.

Andrea - posted on 02/19/2009

As much as I hate to say it we had to do the cry it out method with my 3rd son. I was so opposed to it I thought it was cruel and mean, but after 5 months of him getting up every 2 hours after he had been sleeping through the night, i had no choice. I couldn't function anymore. And it worked.

Anna - posted on 02/19/2009

I am currently in the midst of letting him cry it out Night #1.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Andrea - posted on 02/19/2009

My daughter is almost 6 months. I\ve gone to her every time she's cried, because I couldn't take letting her CIO (though you may find it works, who knows...). What I found helped her sleep is not nursing her to sleep. If you can do something else (rock?) until she sleeps, then when she wakes, she won't need to nurse to fall asleep again. It took work for this to happen, because she ALWAYS wanted to nurse, but once she started falling asleep a few times without it, her sleep drastically improved. Hopefully that helps. Good luck!!

Christine - posted on 02/19/2009

I always had my babies on a schedule. Babies and young children crave schedules. Make sure it's dark when it's time to sleep and light when awake. Let her fuss and cry herself to sleep. I know it's hard...especially if you are a first time mom....you want to pick her up everytime she cries..but she will get hip to the idea that mommy will pick her up everytime she cries. It's good for them to learn how to sooth themselves to sleep. She will get used to it..it will take a little time....but all of you will be well rested for it!

Krystelle - posted on 02/19/2009

We have a pretty good bedtime routine I think... Supper between 6- 6:30, bath time 7- 7:30 with the lavender bed time bath and then bed around 8pm... I've always nursed her right before bed so I'm going to try doing that before bedtime and maybe that will help... Her crib is currently in our room for that exact reason Rachele! :-P I couldn't handle having to go to another room 5 to 10 times a night!... I'm wondering though if maybe that is disturbing her any... I know that babies can smell their mothers milk... I'm not entirely against letting her cry a little but I do not really feel comfortable with just leaving her alone completely ( My husband thinks differently though and he is also against letting her sleep in our bed as he does not want a child who will not sleep in their own bed, which I agree with)... I would just like her to get a better nights sleep for her own benefit... I can tell that it is wearing her out. She is very tired during the day. :-( I'm going to try some new things and hopefully we will find something that works!

Thanks for all the suggestions!

Krystelle - posted on 02/19/2009

We have a pretty good bedtime routine I think... Supper between 6- 6:30, bath time 7- 7:30 with the lavender bed time bath and then bed around 8pm... I've always nursed her right before bed so I'm going to try doing that before bedtime and maybe that will help... Her crib is currently in our room for that exact reason Rachele! :-P I couldn't handle having to go to another room 5 to 10 times a night!... I'm wondering though if maybe that is disturbing her any... I know that babies can smell their mothers milk... I'm not entirely against letting her cry a little but I do not really feel comfortable with just leaving her alone completely ( My husband thinks differently though and he is also against letting her sleep in our bed as he does not want a child who will not sleep in their own bed, which I agree with)... I would just like her to get a better nights sleep for her own benefit... I can tell that it is wearing her out. She is very tired during the day. :-( I'm going to try some new things and hopefully we will find something that works!

Thanks for all the suggestions!

Claire - posted on 02/19/2009

well my daughter is 7 months and sleeps all through the night before she goes to bed i bath her in bed time bath its from johnsons and it works so well it just puts her straight to sleep hope that helps you!

Rachele - posted on 02/19/2009

My son was exactly like your child. I'd get about 2-3 hours of sleep and he was up again.  At about 6 months I couldn't take it anymore and Iet him sleep with me.  My husband worked nights so it was just me and him in the bed so I didn't have to panic about someone rolling over on him at night (I am a light sleeper myself).  I wish there was a quick easy answer for you, the bottom line is she just cannot get back to sleep without a little comfort.  Babies are small for such a short period of time.  Before you know it, you will miss those nights of rocking and holding your baby.  You can always try moving her crib in your room by your bed.  Maybe your presence will be enough for her, if not, at least you don't have to stumble far with one eye open...lol;) 

Jacquelyn - posted on 02/19/2009

try Compassionate Crying It Out

If you leave your baby crying, he'll feel abandoned and fear that your departure at bedtime and any other time isn't safe.

I would say at about 9 months babies can learn that night-time is for sleeping.

you want to help your baby feel that bedtime is safe and happy and that he can go to sleep on his own, don't abandon him outright.
Instead, keep to your enjoyable bedtime rituals and when your baby cries go into his room, reassure him, and leave as often as you need to. Eventually he will feel safe and secure and wont need you to constantly come into his room.

Ally - posted on 02/19/2009

i am a registered nurse and not all doctors are against co-sleeping mine certainly isn't! An article in the aap grand rounds in 2002 showed after an 18 year study that there was no data to either condemn nor endorse the practice. It is a fantastic option when practiced safely and the studies that denounce the practice simply don't give all the facts. In most cases co sleeping is safe if it gone about properly ...the mechanism that keeps you from rolling out of bed every night is the same one that prevents you from rolling onto your baby....if you look more closely you will find that most deaths associated with co sleeping are due to several unsafe factors that should have been avaoided such as maternal intake of drugs or alcohol prior to sleep..a very obese parent..other children in bed with the baby or a parent with a sleep disorder such as apnea...if that is a factor co-sleeping is not for you... there are many co-sleeping products that allow you to have your baby right next to the bed with the same benefits and zero risk, The aap also notes that babies sleeping within arms reach (in a separate sleeper) have a far lower risk of sids. co sleeping promotes breastfeeding , helps to get mom and babies sleep cycle in sync as well as allowing mom baby and every other member of the family to sleep more soundly for longer periods of time. Do some more independent research and you will learn that countries that have the lowest sids rates are places where bed sharing is the norm.



http://babyreference.com/Cosleeping%20in...



http://www.nd.edu/~lumen/2005_12/InfantC...