Extremely clingy 17 month old! Help!

Tami - posted on 10/25/2009

If this is something that has just started happening then it probably has more to do with not feeling well than any overwhelming wish to manipulate you and rule the world as some have suggested. Another thing I have noticed with some children around this age is that they go through a fearful period for a few months. For instance this is might not be the year to go see Santa cause Santa is big and scary. You will need to be firm and let him know everything is o.k., and it's o.k. to let him cry because you need your sanity too. You don't want this stage, though usually short lived, to start any bad habits with him because they will be harder to break later. Be loving, firm and patient and you will get through this. GOOD LUCK!

Athena - posted on 10/25/2009

Raising 7 children and trust me I have had this problem. When children babies or toddlers get sick and whe cater to them alittle bit more than what were before they were sick thy want that same attention afterwards, well some do. Any way I found that when my babies would do that ( they are all teens and 1 grown now) I stayed consistant, screams were ok they just had to scream , If it was nap time, it was just nap time. If they had to sit, then they just had to sit. I never changed. Continue to let him know that you love him but staty consistant. Now my children are much older. I have big family and my children know mean what I say. My yea means yea, and my nae means nae.

Kerri - posted on 10/24/2009

Quoting Barbara:

When my son was that age he really wanted to just be in my presence more than actually being held all the time so when I was working in the kitchen he had his own special drawer (the one built in sometimes under the ovens.) He would sit on the floor & pull out his drawer (I was always exchanging new things for old in the drawer) & play for hrs. while I worked in his sight in the kitchen. (plastic pancake turners, pot lids, tupperware bowls, were some of his favorites and a wooden spoon)

Thats a great idea - Ill see what I can do!

Kerri - posted on 10/24/2009

Quoting carla:

I feel you on this one, my son is 15 months and very clingy to me, he will play by himself and go around the house and entertain himself for a while but when I'm cooking or doing dishes he wants to be held. He wont let his daddy hold him and if he does he screams and he has to put him down and he comes right back to me. I worked from the time he was 6 weeks up until he was 7 months and I feel bad for this so since I have been home with him I do hold him more only if he lets me. I think this may have something to do with it. My son does however go to sleep on his own so this is a plus for me. I dont want to be lugging around a 30lb baby all the time, hopefully this is just a phase and it wont last to long.

He does go to sleep on his own at night just not during the day. As mentioned before its only just happened in the last couple of weeks since hes been ill. Before that he was a brilliant sleeper - I would just lay him down and he would go to sleep - I just dont know whats happened in the last couple of weeks. Its VERY strange!

Megan - posted on 10/23/2009

Not sure how to help with the clingy thing (though I agree that he is probably manipulating you a little), but I am SURE that he is outgrowing the 2 nap day. By 15 months or so one nap a day (and a 13 hour night sleep) is typical. Skip the morning cry-fest and put him down earlier for his afternoon nap and see what happens. Good luck!

Barbara - posted on 10/23/2009

When my son was that age he really wanted to just be in my presence more than actually being held all the time so when I was working in the kitchen he had his own special drawer (the one built in sometimes under the ovens.) He would sit on the floor & pull out his drawer (I was always exchanging new things for old in the drawer) & play for hrs. while I worked in his sight in the kitchen. (plastic pancake turners, pot lids, tupperware bowls, were some of his favorites and a wooden spoon)

Carla - posted on 10/23/2009

I feel you on this one, my son is 15 months and very clingy to me, he will play by himself and go around the house and entertain himself for a while but when I'm cooking or doing dishes he wants to be held. He wont let his daddy hold him and if he does he screams and he has to put him down and he comes right back to me. I worked from the time he was 6 weeks up until he was 7 months and I feel bad for this so since I have been home with him I do hold him more only if he lets me. I think this may have something to do with it. My son does however go to sleep on his own so this is a plus for me. I dont want to be lugging around a 30lb baby all the time, hopefully this is just a phase and it wont last to long.

Amber - posted on 10/23/2009

Good Luck, my son is 2yrs 9mos and hes still very clingy! So im w/you. i need help to!!

Heidi - posted on 10/23/2009

he knows ur feeling it xx and i bet when he was teething he had lots of extra cuddles which is natural x be firm kerri...when it is bed time put him down and let him have a paddy..he is pushing bouderies x if u feel safer get hold of a travel cot and us that for nap time xx he is safe and will not harm himself. i had this from my now 9 year old when he was younger and it is hard work x but be strong and stick to nap times..i.e after lunch etc.....give him a few days and he will reduce his time of havin paddy and settle x give him a week and he should be settled. good luck and remember be strong xx

Kerri - posted on 10/23/2009

Its all of a sudden come on. He is a happy little boy and never used to have a problem. Maybe its because hes been ill such a lot recently.

Kerri - posted on 10/23/2009

We have the same routine as she asked me how I wanted it done! Done the fav toy and daddy goes to work during the week so he cant help. Strange thing is my son will go to sleep no problem at night and sleep for 13 hours!!!

Tina - posted on 10/23/2009

My nephew is the same way with my sister. Luckly my son isn't the same. His daddy wouldn't let me cuddle him alot so my son learned to comfort himself. Get his attention on something else if you can. I had learned several little tricks for a clingy 5 year old I use to babysit. The longer you let him cling to you the longer it will be to get him to stop. Have him sit in a play pen (one he can't get out of) and leave him in the room alone for a while. Sometimes you can just let them cry and they learn to selfsoothe. Try a few different methods and be a little firm with him. I know it will be hard, but it would be harder letting go on longer. Sometimes other kids can help to. Seeing other kids playing and allowing him to play with them will get his attention off of you for a while. I hope my advice helps. I grew up taking care of kids. I'm no expert but I hav learned a few tricks. I hope they help you.

Sharyn - posted on 10/23/2009

When you leave the room do you explain to him what your going to do? .... or when you leave him in his bed, do you tell him its beddie byes and to go to sleep?
my daughter is clingy but i put her down even tho she voices her reluctance, and i tell her i have to go get a bottle or whatever i am going to do and that i promise i will be back. at night, i give her a huge deep kiss on her forehead and tell her good night, its time to sleep and i leave the room .. oh she cries sometimes but i leave her for about 10 mins then go back and soothe her then walk back out ... and soothe her again without talking to her at all .....

Kerri - posted on 10/23/2009

Hes always been a good sleeper during the day and has always had 2 sleeps of around 1 1/2 hrs but hes just not doing that any more and I dont understand! I do leave him to cry but this morning he ended up crying for over an hour - I kept on going into him and putting him back but he just wouldnt go to sleep.

Kimberly - posted on 10/23/2009

It does sound like he's working the crowd. Maybe ask Grandma what her routine at nap time etc is, and follow that or create a routine for yourself. Crying it out is hard, so try leaving the room for a couple of minutes, and return saying "mommy always comes back" or have daddy lay him down if possible. You can also try a favorite stuffed toy as a cuddle buddy. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 10/23/2009

With my son I would just have to put him down for his naps and let him cry himself to sleep. When he would wake up eairly I would let him whine or cry for around 15 to 30 min. ( checking on him without him seeing me) and he usually just cried himself right back to sleep. Its hard to do and to listen to but like u my son was drivin me mad and I tried everything. After a couple of days he would take his naps with no fuss.

Melissa - posted on 10/23/2009

I think that when he is clinging on to you, that you should get down to his level and tell him "NO, you cannot climb on mommy." Then explain where you are going and ask if he would like to come with you and if he does, take him by the hand and lead him to where ever it is that you are going. As far as sleeping, I think that you should just let him dry it out. I believe that children need to learn to self sooth themselves to sleep. I did this with my son around the same age and it only took me two times of letting him sry and he never cried after that when it was nap time or bedtime. Persistency is the key thoug. If he is getting out of bed, then just keep putting him back without saying anything. Eventually he will understand and fall asleep. Andn each time it will get easier, but it does take time. So, just stick with it and you will be fine. Good luck!!

Sharon - posted on 10/23/2009

He's manipulating you. He's proven he can get away with certain behaviours with you. Those behaviours don't work with grandma.