Exwife causing me to hate my stepson
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Firebird - posted on 02/06/2013
Resenting the kid because of his mother's actions is as bad as hating him, and if she can take it out on a kid, the problem is as much within her as it is the ex-wife. There is no respectable way to justify this. I gave her advice. Get counseling.
Firebird - posted on 02/05/2013
So, what your information tells us is that your stepson's mother is a major pain in the ass and even though it isn't his fault and you are not claiming to dislike your stepson's behaviour, you are starting to hate him solely because of his mother's actions. Get some counseling.
Holly she did mention hate in her post title. It seems that at the very least she blames her step-son for something in order to feel hate or resentment towards him.
Susan, the ex wife sounds like a complete pain in the butt and I sympathise with you very much on this issue, but you do need to take a deep breath and remind yourself that it isn't the kid's fault. Even if his mom was feeding him a diet of verbal crap about you and he began to trot this out (I've seen this happen), he's a minor, he doesn't have adult judgment and his primary loyalty is going to be towards his natural parents.
At the very least you should aim to sit down with your husband and your step-son and talk about this openly. You don't say how old he is, but even if he is very young you can still ask him about his feelings. You all deserve to have as stress-free and drama-free a home environment as you can manage in the circumstances.
Counselling may be beneficial, if you cannot resolve the issues any other way.
Holly - posted on 02/06/2013
she should probably change the term hate for resent... i can understand resentment... but to make her feel bad for feelings that she can not help is not going to do her any good. she came here for advice, this is the first step to dealing with her emotions... give her a break
He is nine and she had cause use hell for the last year and 1/2... She deserted him and moved out of state, taking all his clothes, furniture,etc. However she is constantly calling and dragging us into court. She received money fraudently from SS for him even though she does not have custody and has paid not a dime in child support yet... She has almost bankrupted us, and insists that she talk to the child EVERY night at supper time.. I am losing it
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