father wants to come in...

Rosette - posted on 10/30/2010

thank you all for the wonderful advice you have given me... i am starting to explain to my son that mommy and daddy can't live together because daddy has a new family. my son ask me " i thought daddy loves me why does he has another family aside from us?" and now i'm speechless again... haha! but then maybe when he grow older and understand things well then that's the right time to explain the whole story...

thank you for the time my co-mothers!...

Alison - posted on 10/29/2010

Rosette, guard your heart! This is not the man that you want.

Paula - posted on 10/29/2010

Tell your son that Mommy and Daddy both love him, but that you live separately.
Tell Daddy that he is a married man and has no right and no business to talk to you about being together. Also, if he truly loves his son he will help you with helping your son to understand that he can still be a father without living under the same roof.

Gwen - posted on 10/29/2010

Tell him the truth. "Daddy is married and won't be living here with us." I'm glad your son is getting to know his father, but proceed carefully and keep a close eye on things.



On another note, you need to get over him. After 4 1/2 years, I can't see any reason to still be in love w/ a womanizing, deadbeat dad. Be careful about letting your son get overly attached because I think your ex is using his son to win you back. When he realizes you aren't coming back, he'll probably disappear again.



I hope it doesn't play out that way, but based on the information in your post, that's how it seems.

Kimi - posted on 10/29/2010

Just tell him that his Daddy lives somewhere else already and that if he wants to go and live there every once in a while to see what it's like that you can arrange for him to have a few weekends a month. Of course you should first make sure that the dad would be willing to do this and prepare yourself for a situation where you will need to deal with the other woman and the possibility of your son and his father wanting even more time together.
You may want to go to mediation and get everything worked out legally just in case he starts trying to use the child to get you back by keeping him longer than agreed opon or something simmilar. This is a big adjustment for you and if everything is court ordered than the two of you don't have to reley on eachother's kindness when it comes to co parenting.
Good luck, I'm very happy for your son.

Louise - posted on 10/29/2010

You tell your son that daddy loves him very much but he does not love mummy any more. Tell him that daddy has a new love now and that you and daddy are never going to live in the same house again. Your son will accept this and move on. Every child wants there parents to be together but in reality it is not always possible. You need to put your foot down with this man and make sure he is not using your son to get to you. Children are very resiliant just be honest with him.