Flirting with a co-worker?

Jillian - posted on 12/08/2012 ( 15 moms have responded )

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So here's one that will probably get you all going. What do you think about flirting while in a relationship. Some people say that it is a definite no no, but I think it depends on the type of flirting and the intentions. The definition I found says a behavior as if attracted to someone But without serious intentions. I have a co-worker who is really easy going and just a nice guy. He's an assistant manager at the store where I work. I have flirted with him just playing around for fun. No touching or sexual advances whatsoever. Just teasing and laughing about it sometimes. He does the same. We have similar personalities and it makes the job less of a bore. I have no sexual interest in him. He's a few years younger than me, 23 to my 29, and he's just so darn cute! I'm thinking omg am I one of those older women flirting with a younger guy? I guess I am. lol. He's got a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend with two kids. I don't get out much except for work and kid stuff.:( So am I a bad girl, or okay because I just need a pick-me-up sometimes?

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Jodi - posted on 12/08/2012

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I know someone whose marriage broke down due to things like this going on. Does your boyfriend know you do this? If he doesn't, tell him, and see what HE thinks about it. If he has an issue with you doing this, then what you are doing is wrong. And how would you feel if he was flirting with the 20 year old hot chick with awesome breasts that he works with? Would that bother you?

Vicki - posted on 12/08/2012

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I think that there are other ways of getting pick me ups. If your boyfriend was present would you behave this way infront of him? would it be ok with him? If hes ok with it then flirt away!

Shauna - posted on 12/09/2012

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You have two posts going on about two different things. You state one thing on this post and something totally different on the other one. I know on the other one I said you shouldn't do anything you don't want to do and that there is nothing wrong with you, but in reality there is. You are in a relationship with a man and are married to him (well that's what you said in the other post) and you have two kids with him and you are flirting with someone else. If you really think about it someone could say that you are cheating on your spouse and I would have to agree with them. You made a commitment to someone and now you are making advances toward another man who is also in a relationship. How would you feel if he was doing it to someone else. YOU are the problem in your relationship and posting two different posts, one to get help on whether or not to continue flirting and one trying to get people to feel sorry for you is messed up. You need to take some serious time and think about yourself and what you are doing before you start asking for advice and opinions. You also are not only going to hurt yourself or your husband, but this very well could affect your KIDS. THINK ABOUT THEM. Way to go Jodi

Kelly - posted on 12/08/2012

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I think it's perfectly fine,as long a your husband knows about it and is okay with it.as long as he knows and the flirting is known by both people that it I just that 'flirting' no other intentions.If it's just fun and its not hurtin anyone,is it? I personally don't flirt with any one other than my husband because I don't like to and my husband doesn't like it to me it feels wrong,that just my personal opinion it does nothing for me and I don't get enjoyment or a 'pick me up' out of it so for me and my husband it's a no no,I wouldn't like my husband to flirt with anyone else.



If your partner doesn't care go for it!



Best of luck

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Jillian - posted on 05/25/2013

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I just decided to take a look at my past conversations and saw this one. It sounds rather dumb reading it now. I knew some people would take an extremely negative view and make harsh comments. I set myself up for that one on this post. There is nothing wrong with me. I totally forgot about that since I haven't seen that guy in 6 months. It was nothing, never would be. My relationship is wonderful. We are actually doing great. Still in love after many years and our kids are happy. And by the way, I don't ever expect people to feel sorry for me. I have too much pride to accept pity. Thanks!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/08/2012

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Oh, and if another employee sees this "flirtation" it could be interpeted as sexual harassment. Watch what you do in a work place. And if you are bored, find something to do. Kinda lame that the only thing that entertains you at work is flirting. Makes me think there is little work actually going on. Perhaps you are being transfered to a different department because of your relationship with this guy, and your lack of quality work. You have time to lean, you have time to clean.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/08/2012

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Work flirtations are dangerous. I think it is a crappy thing to do to the ones you love. I mean, you are at work with this person flirting with them for up to 8 hours per day, up to 5 days a week. That would make any patrner in the relationship feel like a piece of crap and worry that the simple flirtation will go to far. It is emotionally cheating in my book.

Dove - posted on 12/08/2012

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Sure it's all good if you want to risk ruining the relationship you have now....

Jillian - posted on 12/08/2012

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It's all good. I'm not super concerned about it. I was curious to see what other people would say though.

Vicki - posted on 12/08/2012

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You mentioned that you and your boyfriend dont flirt with each other much anymore, Is it possible to sit him down and let him know that you miss that part of the relationship?

Flirt with your boyfriend, be the first one to make a move.

As for fun at work, I find having good conversations with co workers fun, tell jokes?

Dove - posted on 12/08/2012

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If you would do it in front of your boyfriend and you know he'd be 100% ok with it... fine.



If he doesn't know or you wouldn't do it in front of him or you know he wouldn't be 100% ok w/ it... bad idea.

Jillian - posted on 12/08/2012

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@Vicki

What else do you think I can do to have some fun at work? I can't stand to be bored if there's not much going on.

Honest answer appreciated.

Jillian - posted on 12/08/2012

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The thing is, I love him more than I ever thought was possible with anyone. But we have been together for six years and we don't really flirt with each other much anymore. He's used to having me around and doesn't feel he needs to do much of that I guess. We are intimate on a regular basis though. I don't know. I am a playful person and kinda tease other people if I know I can and they won't get offended. I figured out that this guy doesn't mind since he does it to me too. I don't think my guy would care too much as long as I'm not hugging on another man. I just found out that the store needs help in another department next week and they want me to help out over there. So I probably won't be seeing the other guy at work much. I'll be working with several retired guys and a couple of girls. I don't think I'll be doing much flirting over there! Although I won''t be surprised if I have those men trying it out on me. lol

Thanks for the advice.

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