For those of you that spank your kids...

Amanda - posted on 01/27/2010

This is a very hot topic and an interesting post! I have two kids and I spank them both for training purposes and for misbehavior. My daughter is very strong-willed and I know if I let her run amuck she'd be out of control. I need to keep helping her to understand who the parent is on a daily basis. I do not spank in anger and always keep my disposition neutral when I do it. Then after the spanking I set her my lap while she's crying and tell her I love her. Then explain why she was spanked. It's very important to do these steps when you spank rather than to fly off the handle and risk hurting the child. She shows absolutely NO fear of either my husband or I and she's very affectionate with us both. So I know without a doubt we're not doing her any emotional damage. With my son who's only just turned 1 I smack his hand for training purposes only. He's not old enough to really do much spanking with yet but he needs to be taught tha he can't touch certain things, or put certain things in his mouth, etc. It works very well to teach him quickly and efficiantly by using this method along with saying "no touch, or no eat". It keeps him from danger and it keeps me from having to babyproof my house, which I don't believe in...other than locking up chemicals and such. We did just started training him in his boundaries outside. We do not have a fenced in yard so we spank his bottom and turn him around when he gets too close to the road. Guess what? It only took 3 attempts and he stayed clear of the road for nearly 2 hours after that! So yes, I do believe in spanking...just not in anger like most people associate it with.

Lynet - posted on 01/27/2010

ummm, it's called discipline. plain and simple.

Tiffany - posted on 01/27/2010

i believe in spanking... NOT BEATING. ONLY on the tush! it is different just to make that clear. I only use it as a last resort. Parents that do it all the time it seems (in my observation) that the kids dont take the parents seriously anymore and it just turns into hate.when its used only when they do something extremely bad it surprises the chid and lets them know that u are serious.

Jinjer - posted on 01/27/2010

I am reading all the posts and came across one that mentioned that there was FAR LESS violence back in the day. True! At least what violence was talked about. I have this conversation with my mother all the time and we both agree that it was different back then but the way to raise a child properly has not changed, even from when her mother was raised. My mom tells me the same story about when she back talked her mother and her father had to step in, wasn't pretty. LOL But, she said she NEVER disrespected her mother again. What happen to the fear a child had of their parent if they did something wrong. That "parent fear" is gone. Just as the Bible says, spare the rod spoil the child. And I am not condoning beating by any means.

Deb - posted on 01/27/2010

I do lots of time outs - but I do also spank - when whatever the child is doing is putting them in danger. Like someone else mentioned - running away from me in a parking lot, or putting their hand near a hot stove or grill. I don't spank the first time - but if I've clearly explained the dangers - and they still chose to do the action - then they get spanked. I guess I spank to immediately stop the action - I have 4 children - and they each follow the others lead - so if one thinks it's fun to run in a parking lot - the others may follow. If one is simply not listening to me, or not doing what I ask, then either something gets taken away, or else they get put in time out - I save spanking for serious issues only.

Julia - posted on 01/27/2010

"If kids where displince right we would not have desrecpect kids who think they can tlk and treat everyone like crap.where not thier friend where a parent!!"

If kids were loved we would not have disrespectful kids.
Parents who show love and respect to their kids will raise kids who show love and respect to others. I really think it is as easy as that. My little one is almost 15months old and if I am wrong, well I will be taught better when time has come..... but I feel deep inside that violence is not the right way to discipline a child. A child who's treated respectful will not want to "treat people like crap" why should he want to? He's not missing out on any love and he never learned this sort of behavior from his parents! We are their role models and spanking teaches them that this is the way you solve problems! It must just be so scary for them, not just because they are actually being hurt (they are being hurt! You hurt the ones you love most!) but because they see their towers of strenght tumbeling down, their parents who are THE security base for them are so desperate and insecure that they go to the last resort and are hitting their kids! This must make those kides feel so insecure, like hanging in midair..... I was spanked myself and the only way to justify such behavior of the most important people in your life is to believe they are right to hurt you and you are not worth a better treatment. Come on! How little do you want your kids to feel?
Since having had my son I have seen/met a lot of other families and I have noticed that so mcuh is expected from those little guys who only have been on this earth for such a short time,thigs they are not able do or understand yet, because it's just before their time! They are 100% instinctive beings when they are born and only by the age of around 5 they are able to think reasonably. ANyway, I am getting carried away, please read the Dr. Sears article and rethink it all again. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100... cheers.

Cindy - posted on 01/27/2010

We spanked our sons, now 29,25 and 21, believing that if a kid needs it, he'd better receive it. Our oldest got many,the youngest was so compiant I probably spanked him all of two or three times his whole life! Some kids, your give them the 'what for' with just a look and they'll straighten up; others will push the envelope until spanking is your only option.



How ironic to think that spanking "teaches violence"; seems that back when most parents spanked, there was FAR LESS violence! It teaches self-control which many people today are not taught at home. God, the perfect Parent, told us to spank if a child needed it (several places in the Bible): would He not know best??



Our sons are great examples of young adults that are respectful, well-adjusted and NOT violent in the least. The oldest is a father himself and doing a fabulous job. He has even thanked us for spanking him!

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

i believe it is the parents choice to spank or not. i know with my daughter time out is effective with my son it is a different story he is not phased by anything the only thing he will respond to is to be spanked. otherwise if he is in time out he laughs. my husband was spanked as a child i was spanked as a child also by one my mom my dad doesnt even raise his voice. but my husband and myself agree this is the way we choose to do things. by the way we have tried everything and i mean everything rewards for when he behaves, child behavior classes along with a child behavior specialist they all tell me put him in time out ya right your not there when he is in time out its a joke.

Freddie - posted on 01/27/2010

a light spanking on the bottom gets their attention so that you can explain what is right and wrong. A good spanking is something they do not want to happen again, so the child refrains from the same action.

Julia - posted on 01/27/2010

Astrid Lindgren wrote this little very moving story:

“When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery–one can raise children into violence.”

Jinjer - posted on 01/27/2010

Stacy Alaniz said it.......

We're not their friend we are a parent!!!!!

Stacy - posted on 01/27/2010

I think spanking is ok if it the last resort ot trying every other punisnment .If parents learn what work for them and thier kids. No judgement should be pass on anyone who does it right and not beating thier kid for every klittle thing they dont like. I spank my kids depending on what happen but i explain why im doing this and that they where given many chance and still fail to obey me. talk about it i dont have to spank like 2 times a year. If kids where displince right we would not have desrecpect kids who think they can tlk and treat everyone like crap.where not thier friend where a parent!!

Julia - posted on 01/27/2010

This article is very worth reading: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100...

Julia - posted on 01/27/2010

This article is very worth reading: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100...

Jinjer - posted on 01/27/2010

For discipline. I did for a while but only when necessary which was not much and because it was the only thing that worked. But, I stopped because it wasn't working anymore. Now, we put him in the corner which he HATES!!! If I had to do it over again I would do the same thing. It works for some kids and doesn't for others.



When he turned 2 he was hell on wheels and out of control, literally, no respect for anyone or anything! It wasn't that we weren't teaching him respect and what not but he was just not listening, AT ALL!!! We were over my parents house one day and my parents took me aside and said have you tried whoopin his ass? I said NO I won't hit him and my Dad laughed at me and said ok I will!!! LOL As my son ran by my Dad carrying one of my mom's antiques he swooped him up, put him over his knee, and said PaPa and Mama said NO and spanked him twice. He stopped, cried, sat down, and said no more no more. He got the picture! LOL We stopped spanking him just before he turned 3 last year because it wasn't working and turned his nose to the corner and that has worked ever since. Once that doesn't work anymore we will try something else.



Spanking worked for us.

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

I use a spanking when i really want to startle him most of the time if he's getting into a situation that can be harmful to himself. such as running into to street. i would rather him remember everytime he goes to the street to hessitate untill there is an adult around... instead of him being dead beacause i asked him nicely not to do that.

Julia - posted on 01/27/2010

This article is very worth reading: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T062100...

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

I think it is a personal choice. My first child (a son) tested his boundaries a little bit but was more cautious. He listened and still does fairly well. My daughter however is very strong willed and tests consistently. If she does something that is dangerous then she does get a spank. It is explained to her in simple terms before and after why she is getting the spank. If I am angry though I try to walk away count to 10 or 20 and then deal with the situation. There is a line and spanking in anger leaves a mark on the child and a guilty feeling with the parent. Yelling is the same. Back when I was little and spanking was not frowned upon so much the children/teenagers were more respectful of all people. There is not enough accountability placed on the actions of children (7 or 8 yrs) and teens to make them understand that there are consequences stronger than a time out. I am a supporter of spanking as long as discretion is used.

Leslie - posted on 01/27/2010

For all those parent that spank out of a last resort, feel guilty, and don't feel its right (its probably cause its not) ... there is a book I highly recommend, it changed all my thoughts on parenting and helped us get positive results with our kids (and the kids I teach!) its called The Family Virtues Project ... it will give you positive tools to use with your kids and the crazy thing is we saw results within a day of using the tools in it, its super easy too, just learning how to use different wording with your kids ... it has been a huge help to us and I pass it on to all parents that need a little help (don't we all!!!)

Shari - posted on 01/27/2010

First I try to reason, explaining a certain behavior/action is unacceptable. It is best to give a directive: "it you do this, this ___ is going to happen". Spanking is punishment. Children must learn to respect rules and that if they do not then they must reap the consequences. The Bible says "Spare the rod, spoil the child". That does not mean that we "beat" our children but a few swats on the bottom will do quite nicely.

Leslie - posted on 01/27/2010

There is always a better alternative to spanking, spanking happens out of frustration and not having better tools to use. Obviously there are times with children where you want to pull your hair out but if you learn how to deal with situations in a manner that does not include spanking you are teaching your children the positive ways to deal with difficult situations, you are their teacher in all facets of life, do you want to teach them that when you become frustrated and don't know what else to do that it is ok to resort to violence? Personally I believe spanking leads to anger later in life as children who were spanked throughout their lives do not know how to properly deal with frustrating situations.

Lelia - posted on 01/27/2010

My parents spanked my brother and I on the bottom when we needed it and we turned out great! My brother is a Major in the Army and I am mom/student working on getting a BAAS degree in English. My kids were spanked when they were younger, but being teens I now just take away privileges. I spank on the bottom, no where else. Now if they moved or put their hand between mine and there bottom that hurts us both! :)

To me there is a difference between a spank and a beating: Spanking is just on the bottom and leaves no bruising, beating is where you don't care where you hit and leaves bruising.

Christine - posted on 01/27/2010

I believe every child, and situation is different and you have to experiment to know what works best for teaching and disciplining your own child. I was spanked as a child, now I believe I deserved it. Though I swore I wouldn't spank my children, I've found some times I haven't got a choice. I have tried many different ways of dealing with bad behavior and try to choose the right option by the severity of their bad acts. I am quick to threaten a spank which usually shows them that what they're doing is serious and that's enough, but it only works because I have spanked them when they are doing something dangerous, or hurting someone else so they now it doesn't feel good to be violent. You must explain your reasoning to your kids either way.

Kelli - posted on 01/27/2010

I have two boys and yes I do spank my kids. I was spanked as a child and I turned out just fine. I also use time out and it just depends on the situation for which one will get better results. Most of the time time out works better, but there are those times when they just plain out need a spanking!

Serena "Bambi" - posted on 01/27/2010

I personally believe in spanking as a last resort. I have two kids: a 9yr old and a 3yr old. We chose not to spank much at all with the oldest, and now as a result, he is very unruly. We changed our minds with the younger one (which only occurs when the talking and time outs do not do anything. For example: when he continually throws his toys at the TV or is biting the older brother.) He is much better behaved than his older brother was at this age bc of it. I think ppl are afraid to spank bc of all the hype about how physical discipline is bad. There is a very distinct difference between a spanking and an all out beating. Use your judgment and common sense. A swat on the butt for something that is needed is not gonna land you in jail or a have a citation handed to you. Kids nowadays like to use that as a threat against the parents. Hence the reason kids today tend to run the house.

Dally - posted on 01/27/2010

Spanking is wrong.....us as parents are bigger then our children,,,,,so think of a big man comming and hitting you...would you like it????

the word NO works well if you can get your children to listen to it

Mel - posted on 01/27/2010

sometimes I feel guilty too. Because I smack so very rarely nowadays compared to wen she was younger I feel guilty when I do it, it upsets me to see her upset tonight I smacked her on the leg then later on the bum when she wouldnt listen and even though I knew it had to be done I felt pretty darn bad and gave her lots of cuddles and kisses later. She soon forgot about it. That method sounds good Nickie!

Nickie - posted on 01/27/2010

I have to agree that violence teaches violence. I have spanked my child, I will be the first to admit it, but I don't like it. I try my hardest to use time out and taking his prized possessions or favorite activities away. I noticed that when I was spanking him more often than I was using the other methods, he would hit his cousins and friends when they did something he didn't like. I also noticed how aggressive he was becoming. However, my son loves video games, so he has an hour of video time on weekdays and more on the weekends. Through the week I give him a warning and then I take ten minutes of his time away if he didn't pay attention to the warning and stop doing whatever it is thats getting him into trouble. I made a little booklet that has number sixty on the top and then it goes down to zero by tens (pg.1, 60; pg.2, 50; pg.3, 40, and so on.....). This method has worked better than any other method I have tried. Hope I was some help!!

Nickie - posted on 01/27/2010

I have to agree that violence teaches violence. I have spanked my child, I will be the first to admit it, but I don't like it. I try my hardest to use time out and taking his prized possessions or favorite activities away. I noticed that when I was spanking him more often than I was using the other methods, he would hit his cousins and friends when they did something he didn't like. I also noticed how aggressive he was becoming. However, my son loves video games, so he has an hour of video time on weekdays and more on the weekends. Through the week I give him a warning and then I take ten minutes of his time away if he didn't pay attention to the warning and stop doing whatever it is thats getting him into trouble. I made a little booklet that has number sixty on the top and then it goes down to zero by tens (pg.1, 60; pg.2, 50; pg.3, 40, and so on.....). This method has worked better than any other method I have tried. Hope I was some help!!

Hope - posted on 01/27/2010

I limit the spanking as much as possible except for the most extreme circumstances of crude and inappropriate behavior. When I do I specifically count out in my head 3 whacks only. It's meant to shock not harm. So they are gauged to sting rather then thud.



As said, only extreme circumstances. This is because it teaches the kids to hit and smack in order to get what they want others to do, so I limit it to only absolutely necessary.



Normally I go more along the psychological route.. even with my ten year old. Corner or time out time. This is especially potent in front of their friends and family. Removal of favorite toys, tv time, and other privledges also works wonders. But one thing I've learned that regardless of what is used, the /threat/ of punihsment needs to be back up by the punishment being enacted.



Goodness knows I toed the line when my mom threatened to pull the car over because once, and only once, I didn't behave and she in fact pulled the car over, pulled me out of the car and whalloped me good. After that, I knew it wasn't an empty threat.

Karen - posted on 01/27/2010

I spank both my children who are 7 and 3. It is used as a last resort, and usually after I have done everything else and I am literally at my wits end. I smacked both my son and daughters hand after I repeatedly told them to stop tousling over a toy. My daughter used some serious attitude and her brother copied her (learned fro school!!) so I smacked them both and binned the toy. We were all upset so I left them to appologise to each other for being mean and then we all sat down together and talked. I explained why I did what I did and that it was as a last resort. - I appologised for losing control.

I very rarely smack but I do sometimes use the threat of a spanking if they misbehave whilst we are out (running in front etc.)

My children are normal, healthy, respectful and polite (most of the time). This is down to making sure I ALWAYS do what I say I am going to do whether it is good or bad I do it. I am a firm believer in boundaries ( we have fun too!)

I hope this helps your query

I am consistant. I sometimes get stared at if i tell them off,

Wan Ida Amelia - posted on 01/27/2010

I agree with you, Mary. You don't do spanking just for everything under the sun.. Sometimes it can be a little nudge, a pinch or a slap on the wrist.. But beating is another thing altogether.. Normally it's because of unrelated rage, and the child's action just triggers the perpetrator's need of venting the anger; that's what i call abuse.

Hanna - posted on 01/27/2010

My son ran away a week ago. He had been warned over and over again not to go down the driveway, which he always tried to do but I always caught him and put him the naughty corner. I tried to make him understand that he could get hit by a car, or lost if he wonderd away or snatched away never to be seen again. I told him he would get a smack if he went further. Well he ran away when I was changing my 5 mth old. He took the keys out of the cabinet, opened the door and squeezed himself under the gap in the fence. He dragged the dog through too. All in the space of 2 minutes my son was off up the street on a merry little adventure with his dog. As soon I realised I was off after him. I could not find him since he was hiding! My neighbour finally found him 100 meters up the street since they spotted the dog sniffing about, but not after I had managed to call the police! When I got him home and after a few million hug & kisses & tears (mostly mine) I talked to him about disobeying me and his father and the consequences for that behaviour. He thought it was rather funny. I told him he would get a (just one) smack for his naughty behaviour. He has not done it again, he has not even tried to go down the driveway. The smack worked. When used correctly a smack can be a useful last resort tool. This is a personal choice for parents so do not critisise the parents who use it in the correct manner. There is however a line that should never be crossed beacuse it can turn into abuse. Most parents understand this. Unfortunately some do not. Warning first, then naughty corner for a repeat offence, Smack as a last resort only.

Mary Anne - posted on 01/27/2010

There is a difference between spanking and beating. You have to be adult enough to know the difference. Growing up as a child, I learned early on that you were to have respect for your parents. Kids these days have no respect for anyone. They don't even respect themselves. Parents too, live in a day, where they just want their kids out of their hair, so the nearest skating ring or bowling alley gets the pleasure of raising their children. But if the correct spanking is done, you will find that you will have the respect that God intended children to have for parents. We would see less of kids turning to the streets if mom and dad would spend some quality time with their kids. But if they don't feel the love at home, they will hit the streets to find someone to love them. If we want our kids to make something of themselves, then we need to make ourselves better parents. Love them so they will show love in return, Spanking is just a gesture to show them they have done something wrong and you want them to think before they act. It is all about the unity of family as God intended it to be. He gave us to each other to love and be loved.

Mary Anne - posted on 01/27/2010

There is a difference between spanking and beating. You have to be adult enough to know the difference. Growing up as a child, I learned early on that you were to have respect for your parents. Kids these days have no respect for anyone. They don't even respect themselves. Parents too, live in a day, where they just want their kids out of their hair, so the nearest skating ring or bowling alley gets the pleasure of raising their children. But if the correct spanking is done, you will find that you will have the respect that God intended children to have for parents. We would see less of kids turning to the streets if mom and dad would spend some quality time with their kids. But if they don't feel the love at home, they will hit the streets to find someone to love them. If we want our kids to make something of themselves, then we need to make ourselves better parents. Love them so they will show love in return, Spanking is just a gesture to show them they have done something wrong and you want them to think before they act. It is all about the unity of family as God intended it to be. He gave us to each other to love and be loved.

Wan Ida Amelia - posted on 01/27/2010

By the way, what is spanking? I guess it can be abuse if you're using it for every naughty things that your child do..

Sharon - posted on 01/27/2010

So for hundreds/thousands of years all children were abused and yet we somehow managed to come to our present "enlightened" state?

Wan Ida Amelia - posted on 01/27/2010

I think spanking works for my girl.. 3 y.o can be a handful sometimes, so spanking is my last resort.. I usually give her a pinch if she misbehave, not all the time..

Jenelle - posted on 01/27/2010

I beg to differ, not spanked.... abused!! And you can bet that people who are abusive to their partners watched their parents beat on each other, once again "spanking" is being taken out of context!

Jenelle - posted on 01/27/2010

I think it's pretty bold to call it abuse. Anything can be used in the wrong way and be "abusive." Prescription drugs for example. They do a lot of good, but there are always going to be people who use if for the wrong reasons. Grabbing your child by the arm, flinging them around and then whooping their butts, is not spanking them. That is someone not taking control over themselves and taking out their frustrations on that child. And yes, I would consider that abusive! Spanking is a swat on the butt, and should be done when the parent has control over their emotions, otherwise yes, it can become abusive. I along with my brothers and sister were spanked growing up, ( I could count them on one hand.) not one of us are "fighters." Not one of us have ever hit someone else. There is a huge difference between spanking and hitting or abusing a child! And just because you don't agree with someone else's parenting style, that doesn't make it wrong, just different.

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

Many men and women who abuse their partners are very sorry and loving afterwards. It's a pattern they learned from their parents. Most of them were spanked as children, and then told that they are very loved.

Jenelle - posted on 01/27/2010

I spank my children, I can't remember the last time I needed to, but when I find it necessary, I do. There's a difference between spanking and just smacking your kids around or abuse. I give them a warning, and explain to them why what they did was wrong. They know that I don't want to do it, but I will if I have to. I NEVER spank out of frustration or anger. I think that kids need to know that they're are certain things that are unacceptable, and a little " No, no." isn't gonna get the message across. And when it's all over I give them big hugs and tell them how much I love them, that no matter what they do wrong, I love em!! It's a personal decision that I've made in hopes that later the justice system won't have to "spank" my children. Like I said I can't remember the last time I spanked any of my children. Spanking in my home is for the serious offenses!

Kelly - posted on 01/27/2010

I don't think its right to spank your children.... A little tap on the fingers when they're young and you don't want them to stick their fingers into an outlet... OKay, but what happened to communication?? I was at my wits end with my 3 yr old, timeouts don't work and I won't resort to spanking so I went and got a book my cousin reccomended. It basically talked about the communication problems parents and their chidren have, so this is what I've been doing and it works wonders..... Calmly and firmly sit down with your child and expain to them that you have a problem and the 2 of you need to work it out. Discuss what they did wrong, why it was wrong and get them to repeat back to you what you just talked about. Tell them that if they do it again you're going to take away they're favorite toy or not allow them to do something they're really looking forward to. I always end our conversation with " mommy loves you very much and knows your a really good boy, thank you for listening" If my 3 yr old son goes to repeat the bad behaviour I usually just have to say to him "remember what we talked about?" and he stops. Also I find if they're not listening to me the second I start whispering whats wrong they're right on top of me trying to hear what I'm saying.... They tune you out eventually if you yell "all the time". Hope this gives some ideas to those who are looking for an alternative.... I'll post the name of the book later!

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

I can't believe your comment that your child "requires actual pain".

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

Nobody on this earth "requires actual pain" . You're confused.

Cindy - posted on 01/27/2010

Nice for immediate attention???? That will do it. A little "sting" on the butt. That's why we have so much violence in this country, and then we have explanations and excuses why it's okay to act the way we do??? I don't know about you, but I don't care to be hit, spanked or slapped and I'm an adult who can defend myself. I love the way parents do this and talk about it later, explaining why it's ok to hurt their children......You're right you can pick the kids out who are "fearful" and those who know the "consequences of losing privileges:. Good Luck with your lifestyle, because you will pass it on to your kids.

Heather - posted on 01/27/2010

i guess im confused as to what is considered spanking? if i tell my children to not do something, and they do it, and i tell them AGAIN and explain why, and they go back to it i count to three. if they havent stopped i swat their butt one time, is that considered spanking? i dont think it is. ive never thrown my child over my knee. i also dont think it is child abuse. (my way) my kids learned that if i get to three or have to repeat myself over and over they get a smack on their bum. guess what? i cant remember the last time i smacked my 6 year old or my 3 year old. and they are happy loving kids, who use their words and dont hit one another. its all in how you handle the situation before and after.

Cindy - posted on 01/27/2010

I never spanked. It is child abuse! Parents are always mad when they do the hitting and poor children can't defend themselves. I watched my husband grab my son and tell me the fear he had in his eyes was "RESPECT". I told him it was clearly "FEAR" and if I ever heard or saw that again I would call his family,divorce him & take his son away from him for abuse.He never did it again.He did tell me his grandma used a belt on him, so I guess it was a learned behavior.. We never talked about discipline until this incident, so we assumed we each would have the same idea. We do now! I believed in taking TV and video game time away. That worked so much better. I feel sorry for kids. When out in public, I have trouble controlling myself when I see kids get hit. It's MEAN and INHUMANE!!!

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

I've raised kids and a grandkid. I know from experience that kids truly do learn what they live.

Janet - posted on 01/27/2010

Kids learn what they live. If parents resolve issues by spanking their kids, their kids learn to resolve issues by hitting others. If kids experience parents talking and working out issues with words, kids learn to work things out with words.