Getting him to sleep without his paci

Bridget - posted on 02/01/2009

Thank you, everyone, for your advice.  It makes me feel better to know that I am not the only one with this problem!  I would really like to find a solution and will be trying everyones advice to see what works! 

This is my first time using my "Circle of Moms" application and I am really glad that I did!  I am going to be using it much more often.

Thanks again and keep the advice coming!  :)

Kathleen - posted on 02/01/2009

For both my kids we told them that soon they needed to give the pacifier away, giving them some warning. I had heard to go cold turkey but didn't really want to do that for the pacifier. So for my daughter, who loves bunnies, we told her the pacifier needed to go back its family and that we needed to give it to the baby bunny who would take it. (She was in the phase where everything had a mom and dad). We went to the local farm, she gave it to the bunny, and when she turned around I grabbed it. She looked back and said "the baby bunny took it" and when she asked about it at night we reminded her that she had given it to the bunny and she was ok. I've heard variations of this from the paci fairy to Santa. We tried to do the same thing with my son but he had a fit at night, so we told him that the goat (he liked the goats) would bring it back but only if he left it under his pillow. My son slept with it under his pillow, looking for it every night for a few months but never used it after that. Hope it helps.

Ashley - posted on 02/01/2009

my son had the same problem. whenever i would put him to bed he'd loose it and start to cry. it was so frustrating i thought maybe he didn't like it, but i took him to the doctor and he has a problem called tongue tied it's when the frenulum (the piece of skin that attaches your tongue to the bottom of the mouth) is attached to the tip of his tongue so he can't suck very well. we had a procedure done where they clip the piece of skin after numbing it of course and since then he has done wonderful. you might want to ask your doctor about it. also my son loves the mams that's the only he will take. good luck

Veronique - posted on 02/01/2009

My son is 4.5 months and I used the following approach because he would not take a pacifier and he needed to sooth himself to sleep without us rocking him all the time.

From 2.5-3.5 months, I would put him to bed drowsy but awake and hold his hands, shhh him and pat his bum or back when needed until he fell asleep. This was a transition from always rocking him to sleep. It would take about 30 minutes for him to fall asleep and sometimes longer but trust me, in the long-run it will pay off. At 3.5 months, I started putting him to bed for all his naps completely awake and leave the room. I would first bring him to the room, change his diaper, read a book or two or sing a song, put him in his grow bag. I would then start his little bear with a light and music to help him fall asleep. I must say, it went fairly well. He would fuss and sometimes cry for about 10-15 minutes but would eventually fall asleep. If I miss the window of opportunity to put him to bed, he may cry longer as he would be overtired and harder to settle. Anytime he cried, after a period of time, I would always to and reassure him. This gradual approached worked well for us as he was too young to let cry yet but I didn't find it fair to help him fall asleep all the time until he was old enough to let cry (cold turkey). I also knew that he was ready for this. I preferred this gradual approach to make it easier for everyone.But you need to be patient and dedicate a lot of time for this approach which I was willing to dedicate.

Tonight was the first time that I let him cry or settle himself to sleep without falling asleep at the breast (I would let him do that at bedtime). It took him about 45 minutes of whinning, a bit of crying but a lot of sucking on his blanky and hands but eventually fell asleep. I think him practicing during nap time will help him fall asleep at night. I sure hope so. Trust me, I wish I had a pacifier that he would take tonight but hearing stories like yours, it reminds me that maybe it is best that he doesn't like them. For any naps or bedtime, it is important that you have a routine that is predictable which helps a baby settle faster and provide them with the cues that it's time to sleep.This will all facilitate the falling asleep process.

I hope this helps.

Shana - posted on 02/01/2009

Actually Kelly, doctors recommend them so kids are less likely to suck their thumbs or fingers. You can always take away a soother but fingers and thumbs are permanent. I never heard of a babies mouth getting sore from a soother but my daughter never seemed to be in pain and she loved hers. Also, I was just wondering why you ever gave your son a soother if you think they are so awful? It's a little hypocritical to say parents who use soothers are 'taking the easy way out' when you also tried a soother. It's also unnecessary as this is supposed to be helpful.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/01/2009

In my opinion, pacifiers are fine with limitations. They should be used only to help soothe the child in the event that they have just been vaccinated, or to help them fall asleep alone, Pacifiers are not for all children. They should be sterilized just like the bottles. The only thing that bothers me about paci's is when I see Mom's holding the paci's in their mouths and it's the rubber part too! I don't care how clean you think you are children are delicate and espcially a child under 1yrs of age can get sick and have a hard time bouncing back from the sickness. Please be mindful of these innocent kids they depend on us for protection. I've seen many kids get Mono, stomach viruses, colds, RSV, Bronchiolitis, pneumonia, mouth sores all due to this being the probable cause.... Parents get sick too!!

Kelly - posted on 02/01/2009

To be quite honest I think a paci is only dirt. It makes the childs mouth sore. If you want to sooth gum, put an ice cube in a sippy cup, it also acts as a rattle. My sister in law used a pci on all her kids and their mouths got sore. Thank god Riley, my son, spit his out the first time. Also, to me a paci is another way to get the child to shut up from the parents. I think they should be banned. And that parents who rely on them are taking the easy way out. But thats just my opinion.

Shana - posted on 02/01/2009

My daughter, who is now 7, loved her soother but much to my dismay she lost it all the time. It was so frustrating that I wanted to tape it to her face (I wouldn't have for real but when I was up in the night for the millionth time it was tempting). I just had to wait until she was old enough to hold on to it and find it if it fell out. I did however have more success when I switched the kind of soother. That's already been suggested and I also think that would be a good thing to try. Good luck!

Amber - posted on 02/01/2009

I would slit a little hole in the end of it, then it won't seem appealing to him anymore.

Leanna - posted on 02/01/2009

Try a different brand or style of paci. Maybe the shape of it bothers him. My daughter wont sleep without her's either. She doesn't like the Nuk brand, they are flat on the bottom. She spits it out often and acts irritable, but when she has her preferred kind she is just fine. Mam are the ones we like.

Kelly - posted on 02/01/2009

My son never had a paci. He spit it out from day one, but now to get him to sleep, me or my husband lay on the couch every night at bed time and I sing to him. Works like a charm. Riley, my son, loves music and always wants the radio on, so I sing him some irish lullabies and off to sleep he goes. Riley is now 13 months old.

Claire - posted on 02/01/2009

Can't offer any advice but wanted you to know you are not alone x x x