Getting more Nervous

[deleted account] ( 97 moms have responded )

I am 38 weeks pregnant, and i am getting nervous about what to expect for when i go into labor. What can i expect?

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Kirstie - posted on 04/06/2009

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It's not as bad as u might think. I was absolutely terrified first time around and ended up having a completely natural birth, (though that was partly down to my son wanting 2 make a quick entrance). Second time around not so quick but still natural.

Lisa - posted on 03/31/2009

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Well, I guess I shouldn't say what happens in your lab/deliv entire depends on you because sometimes things are out of your control and interventions are necessary (pain relief, c-sections, etc)



But if surgery isn't necessary then that's when I should say you're in control and can have the experience that you want :))



Just thought I should rephrase that..lol

Lisa - posted on 03/31/2009

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Congratulations, this is a very exciting time!!!



The type of labour and delivery you are going to have ENTIRELY depends on you!!!  I of course heard nothing but horror stories, and decided that I wasn't going to have one of those!! My lab/deliv was everything I wanted it to be...enjoyable and amazing!!!



It sounds crazy, I know, and other mothers are probably thinking I'm loony toon, but I enjoyed pretty much every second of it all!!  Of course I wasn't laughing and high fiving during contractions, but the more relaxed and calm you can stay during them, THE BETTER! Visualization is key!!!!  Honestly, if you're going to freak out and scream and swear, it's going to seem like hell! The one thing that I took with me about contractions..."They only last for a minute!!!" Seriously, give or take a few seconds, that's all they are right!?! It's not like you have the pain of a contraction for the entire time you're in labour! In between them it was like nothing was going on, for me anyway!! I had NO pain relief at all, au natural baby, so take my word for it, not all birth stories are scary ones! Believe in yourself and just KNOW it's going to go the way you want it to!



And the remember if you have an epidural then you're stuck in bed! Walking around, switching positions, taking those lovely showers was my saving grace!! Plus for my first baby it all happened fairly quickly, and I acredit it to being able to move!!!



So good luck with everything, I hope it goes well for you! And remember, you CAN enjoy it! Just relax, relax, relax!!!!!!

[deleted account]

Talk to your OB about your birthing plan but be prepared for possible change. You can't control labor. Your water may or may not break and labor could last 6 hours or 20 hours. You may or may not have back labor, the baby may come early or late, and the list goes on. My labor had to be induced and after pushing for 30 minutes I had to have a c-section. My blood pressure got too high to continue a natural birth. I felt a very intense burning pain in my lower abdomen every time I had a contraction. Everyone told me that induced labor is more painful. I totally accepted every drug they offered me for pain and when the time was right I had an epidural. Like everyone else has said, it does hurt. But it is totally worth it! The pain melts away after you hold them for the first time. Just go in ready for anything and know that you will be coming home with a precious buddle of joy. The medical staff will be there to assist you through everything. Some advice I wish I had been given: take every opportunity you have to sleep while you are in the hospital. You will be so tired!!! and the nurses come wake you every two hours to check your vitals and so you can feed the baby. Make sure the lactation consultant visits you before you leave (if you are breastfeeding) and ask for her to come back if you are having problems getting the baby latched on. Also give special instructions to the nurses such as, "Don't give my baby any bottles because I'll be breastfeeding!" My son was given sugar water because his blood sugar was low. I was so upset because they didn't let me breast feed him first and the sugar water filled him up so he wasn't hungry for the next 24 hours. Also, make the daddy work. He can hold your hand, rub your back, run out and pick up some of your favorite foods. Oh, and you can't eat or drink during labor but they will let you suck on hard sugar free candy. Congratulations and try to worry. It's an exciting experience.

Emily - posted on 03/31/2009

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Congratulations !I remember how magical those last few weeks of my first pregancy were. I didn't really think so at the time - but looking back everything was so absolutely new and exciting for me. Labor is different for everyone. Both of mine were even different from each other. It hurts, a lot, and I know I didn't feel I could handle it at a few points but I did! If you are lucky it will start slowly and take you along for a escelating ride. I don't handle pain that well but I got through my 29 and 40 hour labors without drugs. One thing you might want to remember is it is like the ocean. If you try to fight the waves they will overpower you and take you under, but if you give in and relax you will float through it more easily.

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Vixi - posted on 04/06/2009

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i ended up having an emergency c section as i wasnt dilating. However I still went through 24 hours of labour! Im the biggest chicken going and I managed to survive the labour. My biggest piece of advice 2 u is just relax and go into the whole thing with an open mind. Good luck x

Alisha - posted on 04/06/2009

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My son is just over 5 months old and I had to have an induced labor with him because my doctor accidentally broke my water. I was in labor for 27 hours and 25 of them were without the epidural. I didn't think that it was really bad, I have a high pain tolerance though. My advice to you it to just relax and try to block everyone else out, that is what I did, I had my eyes closed and did my breathing blocking everyone else around me out. My nurses were also very helpful, one nurse told me not to squint or crinkle up my face muscles because it will just prolong the labor and tighten the cervix back up. Hopefully this helps you out, good luck and congratulations on your baby! Enjoy the first months they go by the fastest and no matter what anyone tells you they are the easiest, right now my son is a squirmer and it takes me 10 minutes just to change his diaper!!! Best of wishes!

Sarah-toni - posted on 04/06/2009

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Hiya, my babe is nearly 9 months and i was terrified of labour.  when i went into labour i had no pain, just contractions.  i had a sweep to get things moving more quickly and went onto gas and air. (which was fabulous) I then went onto an epidural, which was great as i had no pain at all.  My husband had a nap the mid-wife did her paperwork whilest i sat up in bed doing a wordsearch book.  I wasn't dopey from drugs so was able to push and my baby boy came out a healthy 8lb 1oz.  It was a positive environment for him to be born in as it was calm and relaxed.  This is your experience, do whatever is natural and comfortable to you. and ENJOY.  Its so exciting !!!!!



  Good Luck. x

Jamie - posted on 04/05/2009

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hi stephanie. as everyone else has said it hurts but at the same time it is the most natural and beautiful thing u can do i have had 3 children all natural with only gas and oxogen the best way to go is to trust your self and your body . women have been doing this for a long time. you will forget the pain and sit in wonder a your new arrival. you just really need to trust that u know what is best for u

Michelle - posted on 04/05/2009

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Okay... here's the deal with labor. Before labor, it was a really bad period. Cramping, just a lot of cramping with the contractions. Then, I had an epidural. After that, I didn't know I was even in labor. I thought I needed to crap. (Sorry for the candidness of it all.) A lot of pressure than the most beautiful (eventually two) children you could ever ask for.

The pain is a remarkably small price to pay for the way your heart swells, literally, the second you hold your child.

That's not to say the recovery from a vag. delivery doesn't suck. :)

Katie - posted on 04/05/2009

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Relax, be open-minded and go with the flow.  You can't predict or control what will happen.  But your body knows what its doing, and your doctors and nurses will take care of everything.  They will tell you exactly what you need to do every step of the way.  I was afraid that the pain would be so intense that I would panic and wouldn't be able do it ( I don't know what I thought the alternative was!).  The pain was intense, it was hard (pushing was the hardest part for me), but not in a bad way.  Its hard to describe, but you do kind "step out of your head" (as another poster said) and you just do it, because it's what you have to do.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I was surprisingly relaxed and focused.  I think you will find out that you are a lot stronger than you know.  The most important thing is that you and your baby are healthy and safe.  And it's completely true what everyone says, when that baby is in your arms, it's all over and you are a mother, and it is amazing.  Good luck, you will do fine!

Jo Ann - posted on 04/05/2009

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Have you been through a birthing class? If you haven't, see if you can find one in your area and give someone there a call. I am sure that even at this late stage someone will meet with you and give you some hands on pointers. Maybe even sit through a class. It is close for you but better late than never! What you can remember is that it won't be fun, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and no matter what there will be an ending with your little one to show for it! Controlled breathing is your best control so you don't panic and hyperventilate.

Amanda - posted on 04/05/2009

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Congrats!! I completely understand your nerves as I have recently given birth. My son is only 3 weeks old. I had him at 38wks exactly. Along with what everyone else says, it hurts. I was going for all natural (no drugs), but at my 33 hour mark of labor...I got an epidural. And in my case, they gave me a small dose of drugs, so I felt everthing and there were times that I didn't think I could go on. But you will make it!! Although it was not a "comiplicated birth", I did have some difficulties.



I am willing to answer all questions and tell you everything, because I wanted to know too!!

If you have not yet had your little one, please feel free to message me! :)



GOOD LUCK !! It is amazing thing!

Danielle - posted on 04/05/2009

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The best two pieces of advice .... when you push you dont feel as much pain... so push ... well your body will pretty much make you anyway .... .



and when I had my daughter I was begging for them to hurry and get the baby out and the nurse looked at me and told me that it was all up to me ...the baby comes out when I push her out so after that I wanted her out so bad that it only took me like 5 more good pushed and out she came... I didnt mess around ... If you want the pain to stop PUSH>>>>>>lol...

Ann - posted on 04/05/2009

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Every labour is different but you can expect to a fair amount of pain, i would be telling a lie if i said it was pain free.  My son now 22 years was an emergency c section so i did not know anything about it, my daughter who is now 19 years was a different matter, i had a planned epidural (incase it ended in surgery again) and was awake the whole time.  When we came close to delivery time 11.5 hours later, they let the pain releif wear off so i could feel to push, the pain was emense for about 50 mins while she was born, but once she was in my arms and i had been stitched the pain vanished you really do forget it that quick and the feeling i am a mummy takes over, and any mum will tell you it is the best feeling in the world.



I wish you well, please try not to get to stressed out you are not helping yourself or your beautiful baby, enjoy the experience and don't be scared to ask for pain releif if you need it xx

Sheila - posted on 04/05/2009

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I wish you luck and youll be fine it is hard and quite daunting but dont worry you will do great and when you hold your little baby youll forget all the pain.lol

Brenda - posted on 04/05/2009

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well as a mom of 4 I can tell you it does not get less painful...however, if you stay focused when it comes time to push...(you and the Dr. will know when that is) and DON'T scream..it uses too much of your energy and oxygen...JUST BREATHE as slowly as you can big deliberate breathes and hang on tight you will do just fine..and walking helps...you could even start now if you aren't already... my last child was pretty much delivery herself...and I even took a nap which I usually NEVER do....but my 1st child took awhile...they are all different and unique experiences...Just as yours will be and I wish you the best of luck with your Brand New Adventure...you will be in my prayers

User - posted on 04/05/2009

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I never really had a plan as I didn't know what to expect. I got all the horror stories from my friends. My water broke and I felt nothing. No pain, I went to the hospital and eventually I had cramps like menstrual cramps that just kept getting worse. I had everything under control and coping with it and no medication until a nurse told me to move in a way I didn't want to and then everything went to pieces. I refused an epidural as I din't want anything near my spine, until I had been on gas for 4 hrs and had been coping peacefully until I knew something was wrong. I was told what would I know, and told I was emotional as I was on the gas. So I gave it up straight away, and within an hr in so much pain was convinced to take epidural. I did. And 5 hrs later had to go in for emergency c-sect as son had turned around and was facing my spine.



 



Listen to your body. You may never have been through it before but only YOU know your body. Do what makes you comfortable, and just go with the experience. I didn't like it, but the little bundle that I saw at the end made it bearable.



I had a second child and had an elective c-section. Bounced back alot quicker from this one

Alicia - posted on 04/04/2009

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It can be so different for everyone and it depends on your birth plan.  If you don't have a birth plan, then that is where you should start.  You can usually find a sample online.  They cover everything from the types of medications you do/don't want, if you want to breastfeed or not after the birth, if you want to see the birth in a mirror, etc.  It is important to fill one out and go over it with your birth partner and OB.  You don't want to wait till you are in labor to let them know what you want.



There may be some things you aren't as sure about or maybe doesn't really matter, but there might be others you are definate about.  Everyone should know your birth plan!!!  You are going to be busy trying to stay calm and won't be able to communicate everything during labor pains.



By going over this with your OB, you can ask him/her about what med options you might have and what affect they will/won't have on the pain.  Questions to ask about the different pain meds: how early/late during labor can I get them?  How often will they have to regive the medication?  Can a nurse on the floor give it to me or does the Anesthesia dept have to be called to give it to me (this will determine how long you have to wait for the meds)? How effective is the medication during the 'transition phase' of labor; otherwise known as the most painful part right before you start pushing?  Are you at any risk for a C-section(if so, you may want to choose an epidural so you don't have to have general anesthesia if you are rushed to have a c-section)? What are the risks to you and the baby?



Consider all of it very carefully and know your options ahead of time.  Sometimes nurses will try to persuade you to do what they think is right.  If you have the info, you will know what to ask for.  You can also include in your birth plan that you want to be the one to ask for meds and you only want them to ask you when you can first have them and before it will be too late.  That way you don't feel pressured if you are trying to go "all natural".

Suzanne - posted on 04/04/2009

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I had 2 c-sections, so ask for drugs, from what i have heard, just have the drugs and the epidural....don't wait till it is too late, cause you want to be comfortable...don't be pressured into trying to go natural.  If you are already nervous, just get the drugs that are offered.  Most people who go natural prepare well in advance.  I am sure you will do fine.  Remember, you can't go back, once it begins, so get the best drugs you can and forge ahead.  It will require a lot of mental strength, but remember there is an end and a beautiful one that you will want to achieve!! Good luck!!

Sabrina - posted on 04/04/2009

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Kerry, its not always true that being cut wont take as long to heal. I had torn all the way down since they had to use the forceps and I was up and walking around in a week. I went back to the doc after 2 weeks because she wanted to check to make sure that I was healing properly. The nurse didn't believe me when I had told her I tore all the way down and the doctor had to point out that I had.



It all just depends on how your body heals itself. Some people heal faster than others.

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2009

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theres not an easy answer 4 this 1 because every 1 is different but after i had my second n had been in labour 4 21 hours a said never again and a went back twice after that because its a pain u always 4 get because its so worth it wen u av ure baby n u know it will b over at sum point take all the painkillers they offer u gas and air is great. Hope av not scared u by sayin that but i was like u as well n u will b absolutly fine good luck hope everything goes well x

Kirsten - posted on 04/04/2009

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People terrified me before I had my first. It actually wound up being much better than I thought. I had pretty easy and quick deliveries. I did get an epidural, and had no problems at all. My first I had terrible back labor, and this was pretty painful. My other two I did not have back labor, and the contractions did not reach a super painful level until after my water broke. It was at this point I had the epidural.

It is very different for everyone, but don't let anyone frighten you or make you anxious. That will only make the experience more difficult. Just remember to keep an open mind about your birth plan.

Laura - posted on 04/04/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:

Getting more Nervous

I am 38 weeks pregnant, and i am getting nervous about what to expect for when i go into labor. What can i expect?



Congratulations!!  You are about to experience the most wonderful thing ever.  It is scary and it does hurt but honestly it goes away as soon as the baby is born.  Just remember that your body was meant to do this and the baby will be born, it doesn't last forever.  Take it one contraction at a time, don't look at the clock and make sure your husband doesn't look at your contraction monitor and tell you that your having a big contraction.  Learning the breathing techniques really got me through three unmedicated births.  Stay on your feet if you can because laying down through contractions makes it worse.  We've all done it and survived and went back for more.

Marcy - posted on 04/03/2009

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I haven't read everyone's responses, but I wanted to say these pieces of advice helped me the most:



1. "Labor is like the mother of all mentrual pains" (it really is... the worst cramps you can imagine x10 is just about right).  However, if you don't panic, you will rise to the occasion and feel like Wonder Woman (or your favorite superhero) after it's all over.  I truly felt like I could move mountains after having given birth!



2. Find a pain distraction.  I used two things for that.  I would hold a piece of popscicle in my mouth and really let the cold start to hurt before swallowing it... then take another bite and do the same thing.  It kept me focussed on another job than labor... until the actual pushing, that is... you'll need to be focussed for that!  The other pain distraction I had was to concentrate on a fixture in the room and/or try to figure out how I would paint it... which colors to mix, etc (as I'm a painter)... engage your mind and the pain will subside.



As the contractions build, the body makes way for the baby slowly but surely.  I have found the whole "break between contractions" to be an old wives' tale... there is no such thing as a "break" between contractions.  Oh, sure, the contraction is over as is the urge to push, but the pain is actually greater at that moment (for me anyway).



As for the step-by-step (or "play-by-play" for the guys), each labor is different.  I think most moms will tell you that.  My first was induced and took 4 days until I was at the pushing stage.  I pushed for 3 hours, used popscicles, had a surgeon with a welding mask and gloves sitting at the edge of the bed and lost so much blood they almost gave me a transfusion.  The 2nd labor was much shorter... but because of my first experience, I settled into bed thinking it would be another day and a half or something... but the little guy was born that night!  In this case, I had an epidural (one that actually WORKED -- I realized after all these years that the 1st one had not).  I was nearly asleep, but felt nauseous.  The nurse came in and told me I was at 10 centimeters already.  "Call my husband!" I said.  I had sent him home already.  LOL



If you do not have any complications in your pregnancy and your doctor has not given you a good reason to induce, I would not recommend it.  That procedure was MORE painful than labor... I think because it involved an outside procedure happening TO me rather than a natural bodily event.  The second time around, I was able to let them know I did not like the pain meds (they did not take away the pain; they just kept me from expressing myself!) so we went straight for the epidural and the delivery was the most beautiful experience of my life.  I can say with confidence that the very moment your child is born, the pain will be so far gone... "as far as the east is from the west" as they say.  The 1st delivery (the natural one -- as the epidural didn't work) was SO COOL.  I could feel him kick on his way out.... getting lower and lower.  I could also feel everything inside... the "ring of fire" as its called... everything I read about.  Reading as much as you can may help but may also scare you to death... so I would prefer a birthing class to build realistic esxpectations.



Happy Pushing!

Tanya - posted on 04/03/2009

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Relax and enjoy the ride!!  Seriously this is the best experience of your lifetime and you want to enjoy everything about it.  I have been pregnant twice and induced both times...the labour is hard, but I did the first baby naturally (entire labour was 3hrs 23mins)...with my second child (who was stillborn) I used the laughing gas and personally think it didn't work,  I used it a total of 5 times and gave it back, my labour for this birht was 1hr 45mins.  I wouldn't do the epidural as I have talked to lots of people who have had them and they have had bad reactions to them and still have had some problems weeks after the baby was born. 



Remember that women are made for birthing babies, we are strong and can handle the pain.  Also on that note...if you are finding labour to difficult don't be afraid to ask for pain medication...it's you that has to do all the work so don't let anyone talk you out of something if you feel like you need it.



I hope your experience is awesome and remember the goal at the end.  A beautiful baby to lay your eyes on and love more than anything in the world. 



Relax and enjoy!!

Sally - posted on 04/03/2009

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you will be fine yes it hurts but as but your body can do it!! we are made for it!! as soon as you get to the point while in labour that everything is getting to you it means you dont have long to go!! when you get up to push the baby out pushing the babys head out hurts really bad but once you get the head out the body just flows out after!! LOL you will be fine!!

Shannon - posted on 04/03/2009

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The best advice I can give is to expect the unexpected. I went in thinking I knew what was going to happen, and just the opposite in every situation happened. So, if things don't go the way u think or want them, don't freak out, just try to stay cool, calm and let the professionals do their job. The calmer you stay the easier it will be for you. Also, I have learned me, and alot of my friends followed the same labor as our moms did. That's also something to find out.

Kerri - posted on 04/03/2009

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I'm not really much help because I am 34 weeks with my first child. But I just wanted to say congradulations and good luck. And I'm glad Im not the only one that is nervous about it. HAHA!!

Angie - posted on 04/03/2009

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I have had two children completely natural, no epidural or anything. The contractions when I was in hard labor hurt more than anything else, however, even if you have a long labor (which I didn't - I've heard epidurals slow down the process) you'll get through it, and soon enough it will be over! I wouldn't worry about, really! There will be tons of people around to help you through it..

Leslie - posted on 04/03/2009

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The labor just feels like really really bad menstrual cramps, it starts off not so bad but then gets worse and worse.  I had an epidural but it did not take the contraction pain away, just the "down there" pain.  To be honest, it all seems to go really fast and once it's over, you have this amazing miracle to make you forget about all the bad stuff.  Once the baby is here, though, be prepared for some totally whacked out hormones.  I think I cried the entire week after Lily was born, and that is completely normal.  Whatever you do, when they ask you if you want to see the head crowning in the mirror, DON'T DO IT!! Lol!  Labor and giving birth is totally natural, but trust me, at the time it feels like what is happening to your body is NOT natural!  BTW, I was in labor for 9 hrs and pushed for 30 minutes.  Lily is my first and only baby.  Good luck!

Faye - posted on 04/03/2009

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PLEASE dnt b scared or nervous althou these feelings r natural bt wen the time cums.... yes it will b painful bt u will b ok n you CAN do it... trust me i was crying with fear! mother nature will take over n help you throu (as will gas n air n woteva else hospital gives u!) and assoon as baby arrives the pain is gone n a beautiful little person... ur beautiful little person will be in your arms. U WILL BE FINE xxxx

Lucy - posted on 04/03/2009

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Everyones different... everone plans for an easy birth i think, but how many actually do?? im currently pregnant with my 2nd and due on my little girls 2nd birthday, so despite people tell you how awfull it is and ohw much it hurts, most of us go and do it again! Anya (my little girl) was back to back so i didnt have a normal birth a guess, all my pain was in my back! my waters broke at 6am, at 2pm i was fully dialated! but there was no sign of the head! she couldnt turn around... but with determination i pushed for 7 hours and she finally came! it is hard, but honestly i think its so worth it! dont go in screaming for an epidural, do what you feel is right! if you feel you cant manage the pain, try gas and air or meptid, my sister in law had epidurals with all 3 but she says the repocutions of it arent fun, i was up walking about and having my mum to visit after! it's one of those pains you do forget though! personally i think recovering afterwards is worse.. anya was 8lb 12oz and tore me 4 times, i didnt heal for 6 weeks and it was really sore but it wasnt till 4 weeks afterwards that i started taking arnica and using sea salts! and they helped loads... your experience will be different from everyones! good luck! its soo worth it...

ME - posted on 04/03/2009

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I was terrified too...and let me tell you, it was not the most fun i've ever had...The hardest part tho, was waiting for my son to be born...and you've made it to 38 weeks, so your wait is almost over :) Congrats! One thing I can tell you is that NONE of my girlfriends and I have had even remotely similar experiences in the delivery room.  So...don't even try to plan for it! I was in labor for 23 hours and then had an emergency c-section...one of my girlfriends had her first son one month before me...and she was in labor for 6 hours and had no problems! Jenny is definately right tho...you do "kind of step out of your head for a while and your body is on automatic"...and the precious baby at the end is worth every thing you've gone through so far, and will go through from now on!

Kerry - posted on 04/03/2009

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Oh also if they say they need to cut you, do it, you don't want a tear, I was cut just before I tore and although it took ages to stop stinging (about 2 weeks) its better than a tear, which can take months. Just don't listen to horror stories either, if it was that bad people would only ever have one baby each!

[deleted account]

Labor is amazing and scary, i was set up for a c section as my baby wsa breech, but she turned last minute so i was induced, and that was quiet painful. I was in labour for 16 hours and never progressed passed 1 cm.  The contractions are very painful and hard to explain until you can experience them yourself but if you breath adn relax you get through it.  In the end i ended up back at having a c section which was a pretty good experience adn as soon as the little one is born you forget about what happened because you are so elated and in love.  Good luck, it is so worth it!!!!

MarieAntoinette - posted on 04/03/2009

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Congratulations!! I am not sure if you plan on having a natural birth or wanting the epidural. I had a natural birth. A book that helped me prepare for labor was Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskin. The jist of what I took from this book into my labor was: (1) viewing the "contractions" as "rushes"; (contractions make you tense up and rushes to me is this intense downward force of energy traveling through you which you do not have to categorize as pain) (2) keeping your jaw relaxed which helps relax your cervix and (3) find a postion that works for you ( kneeling on the bed was the most comfortable postion for me; I was holding on to the head of the bed during each rush. Good luck; just know that you are strong and can do this!!

[deleted account]

After 8 births 5 of which were at home I can tell you it is not that bad.

My first labor was 40 hours from the time my water broke and the baby got stuck coming out. His shoulders were wider than his head by an inch.Both shoulders had to be dislocated to deliver. This is not nearly as bad as it sounds because with the pressure of his body I couldn't feel anything.

The second was about 20 hours from the time I started having contractions, but hard labor was only 30 minutes. She was text book perfect delivery. Trust my perfect girl to get it right!

The third one was wonderful and a 10 hour labor. He was a perfect birth too except my cervix developed a lip that we had to pus through. He also had a cappet which is a bubble of fluid on his head that he just reabsorbed in a week or two.

The fourth was a breech we had to turn and a hard long transition (the time when your cervix is dilating). I was 5 hours waiting on the go ahead because of a lip in my cervix. We finally gave up and I pushed anyway. I delivered in 2 pushes even though the midwife told me to wait!

The fifth one was a wonder. I went into labor at 2 am and delivered at 4 am. She had a cord wrapped around her neck which I had to pause for, but she was wonderful!

The sixth was a fluke 50% abruption that sometimes just happens and they nearly lost us both.

With the seventh and eight I had c-sections. The first was not my choice as I wanted to v-back so bad, but was not dilating. I cried the whole time. The last was a voluntary section after my water broke and I was in labor for 8 hours with no dilation I was willing to do anything to get done! LOL


It is not too hard. I have done hard, dangerous and easy.

It hurts. Always.

The first contractions are easy as all they are doing is pushing the baby against your cervix to help it dilate. It gets harder as you get closer to full dilation, but if you relax into it is is not hard.

It is the last little bit of dilation and delivery that is hard and hurts, but is so cool to get through. Most women do not make it through the final contractions of dilation nowadays because it is not something they understand and they get tense. When they start really hurting that is when you hang on and keep relaxing and really breathe. It is only a little bit further and an epidural will slow it down as will getting too tense. Have some wine at this point if you want something! You are almost there at this point, just breathe.

Drugs slow down the process and do not stop the pain of pushing through. Pushing through can be much harder without feeling, and you do not know what your body is doing if you cannot feel it.

The truth of the feeling is that it is like a big bowel movement. You are pushing down and out. Your vagina opens to the size of a babies compressed head, but you do not realize this as you just want to push on out so bad. The hardest part is getting the head out. Once that is done the relief is so intense.

I always loved the feeling of that baby sliding out the rest of the way and the relief of not having the wiggling little feet and elbows! I adored them until it was time to move on and I was happy to move on!


Holding that baby after wards (which you want to do immediately) is wonderful. My midwife always handed me my babies so I could hold them immediately and let the cord alone until it stopped pulsing. Once the cord quits pulsing then the baby is ready to be separated from you (doctors do not do this). My kids and husband were the ones who cut the cords. My midwife did not take the baby until I started to deliver the after birth which is easy, but hurts too. It only takes a minute though. We kept all of ours (Yes,even from the hospital, though you have to insist!) and have planted them in the yard with a tree for each one. Do plant with a tree over the and no dogs around, and they will compost beautifully.

I would get up with my husband's help after this, and get a shower while he held me then go back to my freshly made bed to be handed my baby and get to sleep with my baby snuggled up next to me. No separation. I loved it. I hated the hospital and had to demand to have my baby every time.

With the abruption I did not see my girl until I started to get up and find her then they conceded to take me. I had lost 5 units of blood and had to have 3 put back into me as my body was shutting down so they were worried about me. They decided I was in more danger than she was! lol

So I had her in my room that night.

It is all in knowing what you want.

Delivery is varied, but the pains are the same. It is not really dangerous, just life.

We women are tough and can handle it! Once you have done and braved the birth through you will have a claim that all women can get. You made it through.

Wishing you the best!

Fathead - posted on 04/03/2009

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hey hun all these scary stories ill tell you my good one. i went in to get induced the pains come straight away i asked for gas and off i went. the gas dont work the whole way i asked for the pethedine and got that too and as i was pushing the head out i asked for the epidural but it was too late. i would do it all over again in a fit. the only thing i can say is DRINK LOTS OF WATER. they were going to give me a c-section cuz me and baby were dehydrating as i am a big coke fan hate water lol. anyway darl good luck. oh and if you split it hurts for days so listen to the midwives and it wasnt my fault i split. ok this is the only bad part about my story. i pushed her head out of course the midwives are there to catch them. they seen the umbilical cord around her throat and ripped her out didnt let me push her shoulders so they split me. and then they told me it wasnt around her throat lust some of it come out just after her head cause it was so long. and my labour was like 6 hrs. i dont remeber much from the whole labour just what my partner has told me cuz the gas really knocks ya around.
anyway darl good luck hope all goes well. just think of the baby at the end. it is the best thing in life.

Kyla - posted on 04/03/2009

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Hey!!!! First of all congratulations!!!!

and second of all, it hurts. alot. but make sure u get everything u can from the experience and enjoy it!!!!! i was in labour for 2 days altogether and my son took ages coming out!! And they say that u instantly forget the pain well u dont lol but u do a few days after. I had gas n air and an epidural and they were wonderful!!!!



I really hope it goes well for you and that you enjoy yourself!!!!! Kyla

Kerry - posted on 04/03/2009

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well it depends if u are having a natural borth or c-section, and what drugs you take through it, basically it will hurt, but if u fight the pain it will be worse, if u accept it will be painful sudenly the pain isnt the issue anymore, I felt like it was this huge rollercoaster ride, with the contractions increasing, and tried to 'ride' out the pain, and before I knew it, my beautiful daughter was here! Just as long as u dont think it will be painfree, or completely horrific, cos neither is true, you will be fine, just have an open mind, and get ready to meet your baby finally! Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 04/03/2009

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The epidural did work for me...with both of my deliveries...I just think, for me, it was important to be open minded to the medication. I do NOT recommend taking any narcotic pain shots during delivery because they do NOT help and they make you really tired...I also moved around a lot...like I got in the tub, I used the ball...But then I had to cave and get the epidural...with both of my deliveries once I did that I relaxed and gave birth within the hour, I can honestly tell you, for me, I did not feel a single pain once I had the epidural...good luck~

Anet - posted on 04/03/2009

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Hi Stephanie

Anxiety at this stage is perfectly normal! RELAX!!!



Labour pains are like menstrual pains, only more intense as the baby gets ready to meet you. It is one of the many absolutely amazing things you will soon come to realise that your body is capable of! The even more amazing thing about birth is the fact that once you hold that miracle in your arms, nothing else matters - not the pain, discomfort, NOTHING!



Enjoy every second of your labour pains and remember that this is your miracle to life!

Good luck!

4a's

Lynn - posted on 04/02/2009

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Every birth is different... I remember being sooo nervous... it was painful and an eye opener...but as soon as my little girl was out... I looked at my husband and said (and we are talking minutes here) "we are going to do this again. 4 months after the birth of my daughter I found out I was pregnant again... my son's birth was completely different... all i have to say is yes it hurts but take the contractions like waves they come and they go...and whatever happens ... happens...prepare for the worst case and you will be pleasantly surprised!

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2009

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All I can say is ITS ALL WORTH IT. I had a very long and hard labor that ended up in an emergency c-section, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. When i was in labor all i could think about was how embarassing everything was. My body was doing things i had no control over and  i kept apologizing and being embarassed. Then a nurse looked at me and said "honey theres nothing you could possibly do that we havent seen before. We've seen it all!"  lol, i wish someone had told me that before i went in there!  Just remember that in the end you'll get to hold a beautiful baby in your arms

Sarah - posted on 04/02/2009

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All I can say is ITS ALL WORTH IT. I had a very long and hard labor that ended up in an emergency c-section, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. When i was in labor all i could think about was how embarassing everything was. My body was doing things i had no control over and  i kept apologizing and being embarassed. Then a nurse looked at me and said "honey theres nothing you could possibly do that we havent seen before. We've seen it all!"  lol, i wish someone had told me that before i went in there!  Just remember that in the end you'll get to hold a beautiful baby in your arms

Pamela - posted on 04/02/2009

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I won't bother to share my experience, as there are so many others. I will only say that we've all been where you are.

I remember so well the last few weeks when it all of the sudden dawned on me:

O.K. we made it through the pregnancy and now this baby has to come out - and there aren't very many ways to get out...

Blessings and good luck. You are in our prayers!

Charity - posted on 04/02/2009

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IT can't be that bad your here aren't you.  And there's a web site for the circle of mom's.



Motherhood is great and there is a reason it's called labour but it's worth every minute



Good luck!  Keep smiling

Wendi - posted on 04/02/2009

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well for many it varies. my one aunt was in labor for 3 hours with no pain whatsoever. however a cousin of mine was in labor for 36 hours and very stressed out and tons of pain. my labors were quite typical. contractions started at 10 minutes apart and progressed fairly normally. my first labor was 23.5 hours and my second was 8 hours and 23 minutes. my first was an hour of pushing and my second i pushed for 10 minutes. the mat nurses delivered my baby the first time and my sister delivered her second baby all by herself, the staff was no where to be seen. i praise the epi! get the drugs!!!!!! i was able to get some sleep with my first with it and my second welll is different story. they gave me the epi and laid back down she checked my progress and asked if i was ready to push. i looked at her like she was nutz and told her to let it work for a few more minutes so i could be sure i was numbed........ ive had a tooth pulled without novacaine once. id rather go thru that again then having a baby without any meds. but as soon as you hold baby and look into their eyes and they make that first noise and they settle down in your arms........... its just magical

[deleted account]

Anatomical information.  You MUST know how your great big uterus muscle works to pull up and open the cervix.  When you understand this (I needed diagrams, duh!) the pain makes sense - each contraction has a purpose, allowing you to concentrate on keeping calm and breath through each contraction.



Once the contraction has passed, relax, and prepare for the next.  Each one brings you closer to your goal - a beautiful baby.  If you need drugs to relax, have them.  The doctors/midwives will guide you through the "business end" - I got there twice and both times I yelled "Tell me, I don't know what I'm doing!!!"



One thing that really helps me is to be under a shower.  Seriously, I'm a greenie but under the circumstances I don't CARE how much water I wasted!  My second baby was really big, so I was uncomfortable whether standing, sitting and especially when lying down, but standing under the running water helped immensely.



Good luck!  Fight the fear, stay focussed!

Nicola - posted on 04/02/2009

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ive had three children ,with the first 2 i had inductions and an epidural, so didnt actually feel intense pain for long. with my third baby i had no pain releif and i found the contractions more painful than the 2nd stage. i was able to cope with the pain better than i thought and was so pleased with myself that i had no pain relief. i was more nervous the third time round than with the first! every birth is different, keep an open mind and listern to your midwife. you will be fine good luck.

Sally - posted on 04/02/2009

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Bank lots of sleep hours. It's (hopefully) half a day of pain with pay offs that last a life time. You will get through it and if your not coping you have the option of really good drugs. Have a plan but plan to be flexible with your plan.

Luck

[deleted account]

There is no easy way out for you now so stop worrying about it. There is only one person that can do it and that's you. Sorry! I CAN tell you that whatever happens, within 24 hours from your first pain, it will all be over and you will have this wonderful new person in your life.

I had 2 kids and both experiences were completely different.

One had horrible labor & easy delivery while with the other....I had easy and I mean easy labor (had menstral cramps that were worse) but a rough delivery. Not sure which was better. Don't wait for the epideral, as soon as they offer say yes. By the time they get back with it, you WILL be ready.

You'll never have your first child again so enjoy the experience. You can't get this time back. You'll be fine.

Hayley - posted on 04/01/2009

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o and i forgot to say that if the pain was really that bad we wouldnt go out and do it all over again. i had both my babys without any drugs what so ever and that was with my son being a big boy at 10 pounds 9 ounces! yes it hurts but only at the time soon as baby is out you feel nothing but love! good luck you will be fine!

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