Getting rid of toys, etc.

Monica - posted on 04/29/2010

yeah that's it!!! around xmas we give stuff to "kids with less or no toys" and he totally gets it!! it's a great experience for him and teaches him to be a caring person!! they get a sense of self worth and that we respect their opinion but are still being the boss :P
they'll forget about their loss in a heartbeat if they were treated fairly :)

Stephanie - posted on 04/29/2010

I agree with you Monica, & that's exactly what I do with my son. I drag the process out a little bit so it doesn't seem like such a shock (the first time I tried to do it all in a day & he & I were both stressed out & bawling by the time we were done). One week I will tell him to go find all of the broken toys or toys that are missing pieces & throw them away. Then on another day I will tell him that he needs to find 5 toys to give to the family violence center so kids who don't have any toys can play with them. This works out pretty well & you better believe the toys he chooses to give away won't be his favorites...so you don't have to worry about the freak out factor.

Katarina - posted on 04/29/2010

My 9 year old sister was upset the other day because I took her "la la" doll and Dora doll, both of which she hasn't played with in years! I took them to my house because I'll be caring for a little girl and only have boy toys. She was very upset. Maybe I should of asked her first but her reaction would of been the same.

Sharon - posted on 04/29/2010

When it's time for us to get rid of toys and clothes I always explain it to my kids. Even though it's not negotiable, they know that the things are going away and they do come to understand. Your little girl probably felt like her toy was being stolen from her.

Monica - posted on 04/29/2010

you should have talked about it with her first and treated her like an equal. even if you were going to do it 100% for sure, she could have had some warning. Little people are people too. I remember how horrible it was when i was a little girl and my mom did the same with my fave teddy bear!! it was horrible and 20 yrs later i still remember it!! i'm sorry, but kids understand and she would have understood your reasoning, and she would have felt your respect for her and her importance in your life ♥

Pam - posted on 04/29/2010

When I was a kid, my mom often gave "hand-me-downs" of mine to a cousin who was about 5 years younger than me. I don't think I was a stingy kid, but it really bothered me when she gave away things without asking me because she thought I had outgrown them. I am 46, and I can still remember a couple of specific things that I was upset that she gave away.

I've had good luck with my kids by enlisting their help. This works especially well before birthdays or holidays. They will happily bag up stuff for kids who "don't have as much", and to help make room for the new things that will be coming in as gifts. Maybe that will help your daughter feel in control while still allowing you to clear stuff out.

Another tactic might be to do an out-of-sight-out-of-mind test. Box up some things that she no longer plays with and move them to the basement, attic, garage, or similar place. If she asks for them back, give them back for a while, but let her know that if she isn't really playing with them, they will have to go. If she doesn't ask for them, in 6 months or a year, they're probably safe to get rid of.

S - posted on 04/29/2010

No, I don't think you made a mistake you don't have to consult her however lol rule of thumb, get rid of toys without them knowing it. They never miss it if they don't see it, but arriving home to see someone else taking it......that's asking for trouble.



My mother would throw away toys when we weren't around and half the time we never noticed or if we did it had been so long that we didn't care.