Give 16 year old no choice about birth control?

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2012

Wow supportive group of Moms. You ever heard the saying you "get more bees with honey than vinegar?". If you want to make a point, offending someone probably isn't the best approach. Of course if you don't care about sharing your perspective in a constructive way I suppose offending others is another use of this forum. It's little wonder Mom's feel so judged.

Donna - posted on 09/13/2012

Take her to the gynecologist and let her discuss it with him or her.

Christina - posted on 09/13/2012

I'm absolutely disgusted by how many people are seriously advocating the forced/coerced medicating of a 16 year old. If you want to completely destroy any trust she has in your advice, drive her to find ways to work around you, and make sure she doesn't tell you what's going on in her life, then sure, force hormones on her, whether she wants them or not, regardless of the side effects. Or, you could remember that, not only are you an adult, but your 16 year old daughter is growing up, and has already shown enough maturity to stay with the same guy for THREE years. If they were going to be having sex, they'd be doing so already. So either they aren't, or they're already smart enough to be using condoms and/or sticking with acts that can't cause pregnancy.



Why you insist on treating your daughter, who has done nothing to warrant such suspicion, as an unreliable tart is quite beyond me. She's 16 years old. Try talking to her and taking HER opinions and ideas into consideration instead of trying to find ways to manipulate her into doing what YOU think is best. You may be able to influence her behavior now, but if you go too far and destroy the mother/daughter relationship now, then good luck when she's older and doesn't have to pay attention to your opinion.

Stacey - posted on 09/13/2012

Honestly, you can not make sure she takes her pill everyday no matter how bad you want to. What I would do is thoroughly educate her and her boyfriend on STD's, I am talking pictures, the while nine yards, scare the crap out of them. Some she will never get rid of and some she can die from. I am talking oral sex to..you can get gonorrhea in your throat and herpes, just to name a few. Maybe after you do that, if they do want to have sex they will use a condom, which not only is pretty good to avoid pregnancy but to avoid infection also. Just a thought. Good luck.

BethAnn - posted on 09/13/2012

I guess I am shocked..She was allowed to date a boy at 14 years old and seriously enough to last for 3 years??? I guess each home has different rules but I will not be encouraging any dating or boyfriends from my girls at that age nor was I allowed to even consider such a thing. They are expected to focus on school before they are mature enough to hanlde that situation. I will not hide my head in the sand but abstinece will be taught at our home and no boyfriends till they are much older. I guess I would never encourage my daughter to go on the pill since thinking back to when I was a teen and if my parents said that(not that they ever would ) I would think they were giving me the green light to have sex...Are you encouraging her to have sex??? WoW. I must live in a different world than you...Wow I am totally shocked at a young age that a girl for one thing would want to have a boyfriend...what happened to hanging out with your girlfriends...You have so many years ahead of you to date why is society rushing this???

Narelle - posted on 09/13/2012

I wish my mum had taken me to get the pill then I wouldn't have ended up pregnant. Most teenagers are not going to tell you they are having sex. My son is now 15 and he knows exactly what happened with his conception. Talking to her honestly and frankly is important and getting a doctor to talk to her privately too.

Jan - posted on 09/13/2012

In a society that is so permissive it is encouraging to see that your teen daughter has decided that she is not ready to start a sexual relationship. You should however expect that some form of intimacy has evolved in this relationship. Remind your daughter of her goals, help her and her boyfriend to stay focused on what is important at this time in their lives...respect for self and others, education, career. A sexual relationship has many rewards as well as consequences, help your daughter and her boyfriend to educate themselves. Encourage them to join wholesome activities that will help them to develop as individuals, like youth groups or even volunteering with at risk youth. Help her to realize that she can achieve what she set her mind to!

Barbara - posted on 09/13/2012

I think u r on the right track,what i suggest is u take her to plan parent hood and let them talk with her,or your family Doctor,or even a women Doctor she has never been to and let her talk with her,she needs to talk with someone other than u or her father, i understand the one minute thing cause i lived it at 17,and ended up getting married,i wish my Mom had taken me somewhere to talk with someone.

Alexandra - posted on 09/13/2012

EVen though your daughter is not thinking about having sex, if this is true, one day she might decide othewise and she needs to be prepared.

Talk to your OB to see what the best options are.

I don't think the BC is good because she might forget to take it.

There are other options that are longer than a month supply. For example the shots are good for three months, if I am not mistaken.

I would definitely convince her to take the shot or other method other than BC. I would not make her stop seeing this guy, nothing like that, but I am sure with your ability of being a mom you can convince her to do something. having a baby at this time would really not be a good idea.

Amy - posted on 09/13/2012

You may want to look into alternative forms of birth controls and not just birth control pills. She would have to remember to take them very regularly, and for someone who doesn't think she needs them, that probably would not happen. That could be disastrous if they do have sex. There are several options that would require little effort on her part (implants, depo shot, nuvaring).

As for forcing her to take them, I think that would be wrong. You could have suggested bc as a way to minimize PMS symptoms, help control her cycle, prevent breakouts, help with headaches. Bc has all these other benefits. If she is stil reluctant, you could request she keep a condom in her purse (you should buy it for her) or possibly keep a Plan B on hand - I think they are good if used within 3 days of unprotected sex. And make sure she knows the deadline.

I apologize for the long post, but I have some personal experience here. I was 18 and on the pill when I got pregnant with my daughter. It may have been an antibiotic issue. But also rest assured, I was able to get my Bachelor and Master degrees, and I have a good career. It's not always the end, but it does make things more difficult. Best of luck to you!

Karen - posted on 09/13/2012

do not force her to take them. telling her she can't be with the boy she's been dating for 3 years will not help, she's young and in love and will rebel against you.



i think the best thing to do is give her condoms, have a serious heart to heart to her about coming to you when she's ready to have sex to get on the pill. weather or not she has already had sex or has been thinking about sex she will be more likely to come to you about the issue if you show her some trust and show her that it's ok to come to you about these things. if you try forcing her you will never have an open and honest relationship with her and she will be more likely to hide things from you then ask you for your advice and help.



since some kids are too afraid to talk to their parents about this no matter what they do you can always keep an eye on the condom stash you gave her and make a judgement call from there.

Jessica - posted on 09/13/2012

I don't think "forcing" her to be on birth control is a good idea. My mom pushed me to start taking BC when I was 14, when I still had absolutely NO interest in having sex, or even dating. Her answer was "just in case, I dont want you getting pregnant"... I refused to take it, and felt like she was basically saying that she didnt trust me when I said I wasnt doing anything. I told her when I was ready for BC, or even started THINKING about sex that I would go to her. For over a year she kept trying to push me to take it and our relationship became very very strained and uncomfortable. When I was 17 and dating- not even ready to have sex, but wanting to be prepared in case I felt ready, I went to my aunt and asked her to take me for BC (because mom and I were still not getting along great because of all the pressure and feeling distrusted from years back). It took another 2 years before I started having sex, and 7 years after that, my mom and I still dont have the same relationship we did when I was under 14. I still resent the fact she didnt trust me to have understand her lessons about safe sex, STIs, condoms, etc and trust that I would come to her when I was ready

Rachael - posted on 09/13/2012

if you force it she will find a way around it. you can't force her to take bc pills and if you try and restrict access to the guy to make her take them she is probably more likely to go and have sex with him. it's possible they are already having sex and she just doesn't want to tell you. but really, all you can do is explain the options and how they will help her and let hre make her own choice about it

Penny - posted on 09/13/2012

Do you have any young mum friends who could tell her how easy it is to make the mistake, and how hard it is to deal with the consequences? Explain again and again how a baby would at least postphone her dreams of going to college, and how she would have to be very strong, mentally and physically, to achieve her goals with a baby! Explain how nasty and permenant an STD can be!

I find some comfort in the fact that they have been dating for 3 years. At least if it were to happen, they will be able to support and love each other. What are the boyfriend's views on sex? Are you friendly with his parents, perhaps enough to ask them to also have a word to him?

I, too, believe the problems I had getting pregnant were because of long-term use of the pill (from 16 for 10 yrs). Years after stopping, we were finally blessed with two, and I am again reconsidering it's use!

Jodi - posted on 09/13/2012

Bekah, I think you will find the answer to that question is that both kids have been together for 3 years, and are both inexperienced, so STIs isn't the issue in this case.

Bekah - posted on 09/13/2012

I am curious as to why you aren't more worried about STI's?

They are much more common and devastating than pregnancy. At least with a pregnancy you are only saddled for 18 years ;-) (statement made entirely tongue in cheek). But seriously do you know for sure that the boy has ONLY been with her and that he doesn't already have an STI?

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2012

Although I don't agree with forcing I'm not at all opposed to providing the option. It's silly to think just because you encourage your teenager to protect against pregnancy and STD's that your encouraging them to have sex. Your encouraging them that IF they do they need to protect themselves. I don't think a teen is suddenly going to be interested in sex just because they now have protection.

Tracie - posted on 09/13/2012

Don't force her to take bc but do give her a box of condoms, just in case.

Jodi - posted on 09/13/2012

I just don't think sex and birth control should be an issue of punishment or reward. It is an issue of personal responsibility. If she is responsible enough to have had a boyfriend for 3 years (and you have permitted that), then she is responsible enough to make this decision for herself. You have provided her with the opportunity and the information. She KNOWS she will get pregnant if she isn't responsible about sex. Forcing her to have the injection is just going to make her angry at you, and most probably ruin any trust you have in your relationship with her. I mean, she's your daughter, I suppose in your view that gives you the right to force her into birth control, but I would totally advise against it.



You can't just take away what you have been allowing her to have for the last 3 years (the relationship with her boyfriend) because you have suddenly decided she is not responsible enough now.

Ashley - posted on 09/13/2012

Talk to her openly. Explain your concerns and talk to her about hers. It's there is a reason she doesn't want birth control pills? My mom had me start taking them the year after my period started because it was irregular. The pill didn't work for me and I got pregnant at 17. It did ruin all my plans, but it didn't ruin my life. Things are difficult but I am providing well for my daughter. Use open communication. Talk to her about protection even if she isn't planning on having sex. I didn't plan on it and it happened. Don't destroy your relationship by forcing her as she will be likely to rebel, push you away, and make decisions she wouldn't normally. Talk to her about condoms, patches, pills, and shots. Also recommend that she use condoms in addition to any other prevention method if she chooses one. That way she will be better protected from stds and hpv. Good luck!!

Dove - posted on 09/13/2012

There are a few posts on this page that I'm tempted to unmark just so I can mark them helpful, nice, and encouraging over and over again! :) lol

Tammie - posted on 09/13/2012

I would try to have a very honest and open line of communication with her. If you think that she may be having sex of thinking of it then yes, I would get her on the Depo Injection. This is the only way to make sure she is protected from pregnancy. You also should talk to her about the use of condoms to prevent STDs. She should also receive the HPV vaccinne called Gardisil. This is important for her even if she plans to wait until she is married to have sex. Just because she is waiting doesn't mean the man she is going to marry has waited as well. Good Luck!

Janessa - posted on 09/13/2012

I've always believed trust is more important than trying to force anything. I and my husband waited until we were married, it is not too much to believe she is also waiting. I would never tell my kids to take birth control pills because I'm going to pray and hope that they follow our example, and trust that they will. If she does make a mistake it is hers to make, and she will have to go through the consequences, which if she weathers well will only make her stronger. It is never good to go against free will. I try and lead by example. If it were my daughter, I would talk about sex, and tell her how her father and I waited, and if in your case you didn't, you could talk to her about the things that could happen if she did have sex, and then I would tell her I believe she should wait, and I am glad that she has chosen to. Trust that she was telling the truth when she said that. If she knows you trust her that can have a more powerful effect than anything, and if the worst thing does happen, it is her life, you can be loving and supportive, but let her decide what to do about it. I remember my Dad once taking me aside and saying if ever you get into a bad situation at a party, you can call us and we'll come get you. I found that counsel strange because that wasn't my thing to do. I never did get into a situation like that, but he was going off of his life and what he did. I guess what I am saying is trust her. If she makes a mistake let her deal with it. You'll be closer because of it.

Heather - posted on 09/13/2012

I can't believe we are actually discussing making a person tak BC. How about encouraging her to stay a virgin and praising her for it!!

I don't wanna hear, O its 2012 cuz the reason guys young girls have sex is be cause this is what is expected and obviously encouraged. I am a mom, to a son and I am far from in denial. Im pretty disappointed in reading this.

Linda - posted on 09/13/2012

I think the boy should take the responsiblity of using a condom...I have 2 boys 22 and 19 and have told them both the same thing ...just in case the girl doesnt use protection...I was a teenage mother and I agree with what your doing but I think both should use protection...because you also have vd s...and of course lots of prayer

Diana - posted on 09/13/2012

Your daughter has vocally chosen abstinence. You should support her and communicate with her. I can't understand why the parent is so quick to assume that stuffing BC pills or other similar products are the best thing? There's more to life than sex. And these products can screw up your female parts. They even talk about how having your period reduces your chances of female type cancers. And how about the moral implications? Sex is a very special activity between a married couple. Women become more emotionally involved than men in the act. There is so much more to sex than just getting pregnant. And how could you live with yourself if she still got an std or was unable to have children in the future because you forced her into taking BC pills or the shot? She could begin to feel more pressured by her BF (if he is pressuring at all) to have sex. She could also feel like there was nothing holding her back from having sex now. Maybe you need to be more of a moral compass for her than a drug pusher.



I tell my 14 year old about the dangers of putting herself in compromising positions. I also tell her about how her hormones can be a rather strong influence under some circumstances. I also don't let her have a BF or even date until she is at least 16 years old. Where is everyone's moral compass pointing nowadays?

Victoria - posted on 09/13/2012

I got pregnant when I was 17 and had my daughter at 18. I applaud you for not only bringing up the issue of birth control, but offering to take your daughter to get the birth control. My daughter is now 26 and my husband (not her father) have two more children. When I was in high school, I knew about birth control, but had no idea how to go about getting it. I was dumb and was pressured into having sex, because I gave into the whining and begging and I just wasn't strong enough to say no, because I thought I was in love.....blah, blah, blah....My mom knew I was having sex and not only did she not talk to me about it, she did nothing to help me go get it. It's not about saying it's OK, but it is everything about making sure your daughter is protected. I don't dwell on it, but if I think about it, I get so angry with my mom for not doing more to protect me. What did she think? That I was only going to do it once? Get your daughter the birth control and get it for her as soon as possible! Unless you are ready to be a grandparent.

Lisa - posted on 09/13/2012

Personally I would only offer it as a reward if it was not necessarily boyfriend related, ie. mani/pedi, new pair of jeans, coveted CD or DVD, new earrings, dinner at a favorite restaurant, extra 1/2 hour curfew on Saturday nights, "get out of jail free card" (ie. X chore forgiven, 1 free missed curfew "slide") etc... Perhaps making into a "you are a woman now and are making a responsible grown-up decision, so I will reward you in a grown up way" will help it be what it is- she will be taking control of and protecting her future. She would probably not be happy if she did decide she was ready for sex only to realize in the heat of the moment they were not protected. As many people can attest it only takes one time, and the first time is just as risky as any other.



I think that from what I have read you are handling this well.You are being pragmatic and logical. Your kid is 16 and who knows what teens think or how she will react. Having fully thought it through like this you will hopefully be prepared for whatever she throws at you!

Terri - posted on 09/13/2012

Brittney, for the reasons you stated, I decided it would be the bc shot which is once every three months. Sounds like some of you would would only present the reward side? However, with more alone time it might give them the first serious opportuniy to have sex. We have in the past allowed them only very limited alone time. However, it may be worth the risk? I still feel it's important for her to be on bc.

Sally - posted on 09/13/2012

You'd rather fill her with synthetic hormones than trust her when she says she's not ready for sex. You need to work on your relationship with her before you start dictating her relationships with other people.

Brittney - posted on 09/13/2012

I think forcing her to take birth control is going to ruin your relationship with her, you cannot force her to take them and you shouldn't punish her for not taking them. What you need to do is educate her, you have offered birth control. That is a great start , http://www.scarleteen.com/ can help too. Let her know that you care about her and want her to be safe. Talk to her.. an honest heart to heart about sex, birth control, STDs, pregnancy, everything along those lines. If you feel comfortable doing this, make sure she has access to condoms.



The problem with punishing her for not taking them...I see it like this: DAUGHTER- I don't need to take birth control , mom....MOM- If you don't take these pills everyday at the same time, you don't get to see 'insert name here' DAUGHTER- thats not fair!!



I had the opposite problem, my parents were completely against offering birth control and never educated me (school didn't either) I ended up getting pregnant at 17, mostly my fault by not learning about it myself. I stumbled upon scarleteen website one day and it is very informational. You could also take her to a sex education clinic, its confidential and she can talk to them about any and all concerns.

Toni - posted on 09/13/2012

Terri....I think that would be a good idea. I was on the shot for about 3 years and never had issues with it. It stopped my cycle which was awesome!

Terri - posted on 09/13/2012

Thanks to all of you for your feedback!! Jodi, I will leave her with no choice by telling her If she does not take bc, she will be spending a lot less time with her boyfriend. So,she will have a choice but she seems to be so involved with him, she will take the bc I believe ,sad for her age, that she will do almost anything to spend time with him. Also, what about using a reward? Telling her that if she does take bc, I will allow her more time spend with bf. Also,would allow them more alone time. I believe she might do almost anything to spend more time with him and especially alone time. How much would i object to her having sex with him on rare occasion if I know there was little chance she could get PG? I just don't know. Also, she says she does Not plan to have sex with anyway.This is, for the both of them, their first bf/gf relationship and they have never broken up even for a

few days. So I really would not be as concerned about

her getting a STD from him. I don"t really mind her

seeing this boy. I just do not want to see her with a

baby and ruin her life. Yes, I realize there are risk to

using all medications. So, ladies, what would you

think of offering a reward that might increase the risk

of them having sex. Would you do it? Would you only use the reward approach? I just feel confused. If she decided to accept the shots in order to get the reward, it would probably avoid her having bad feeling towards me. I just don't know what is best. Thanks in advance for feedback!

Julie - posted on 09/13/2012

I was the same as ur daughter think u should try n get her 2 take it though even if u say it helps her with her periods only takes 1 time 2 do it 2 get pregnant xxx

Lisa - posted on 09/13/2012

It is such a conundrum really. It sounds like your daughter does seem to have a good understanding of the consequences of sex etc... She sounds mature and knowledgeable, but that will never stop you from worrying. How do you force a teenager to take a pill, a shot etc... Perhaps if you ask your daughter to go with you to the doctor the doctor could show her all the options that are out there. As long as it isn't already a huge sore spot perhaps you could explain to her that her whole life you have been trying to protect her and even though she isn't a little girl anymore you are still trying to protect her and it would make you feel so much better to know that when she was ready to become sexually active she would not have to be burdened with the worry about pregnancy and children.



Myself, I would lean away from something she has to remember on a regular basis. That would make it less of a burden on her. IUDs are as safe as the pill or shot, as effective and if you have the copper IUD it can be in 10 years with nothing to worry about other than when to take it out. That means in 10 years her only obligation to birth control (not STD safety- just birth control) would be two appointments with a doctor and slight discomfort for a day or two each time. That may make the whole thing more palatable for her.



Good luck. I will be in your situation in a few years and I am not looking forward to that!

Karla - posted on 09/13/2012

I feel you are making the best decision for your daughter by giving her the option of having the access to the BC. Most parent's are not that understanding. I took BC at the age of 17 and I was happy that my parents were understanding enough to give me that option or else I just may have been a teen mom. Your making the right choice now trust her enough to make the right choice as well.

Michelle - posted on 09/13/2012

I personally don't think most teenagers could be forced to not see someone and if they have been involved for 3 years this seems even less likely. The last thing you want is for her to start going behind your back. Again open dialogue is my best advice. I don't know about forcing her to get the deprovera shot either, I haven't researched it and I'm not a doctor, but ultimately I don't think forcing her is the right answer. Educate, educate, educate. And for the record, though I'd be opposed to forcing her, I'm not opposed to making sure she understands that as long as she won't go on the pill and continues to be in a long-term and emotionally and sexually intimate relationship, (sexual connotations in their texts is still sexual intimacy) that I will be checking up on her. Even if that means reading their texts on occasion. It's not really snooping if she knows you are going to do this on occasion. It's no different then monitoring them on the Internet,

Bekah - posted on 09/12/2012

Terri - I was on the shot when I was 16 and it left me with fertility problems later in life. Also no credible doctor will give a 16 year old birth control medication unless she understands the risks and side effects and is willing to do so. The pills and shots do not protect against STI's either so condoms are by far the safer and better choice.

Someone gave me a great suggestion and that was to have a big bowl of condoms available in a drawer or wherever that way my kids could grab one discreetly and it wouldn't be as noticeable.

Also she should be seeing a gynecologist at this point so it may be good to have the doctor talk things over with her.

Definitely open up communication with her and discuss with her the benefits of non-hormonal birth control such as the mini pill or condoms. Kids DO listen even when we don't think they are!

Good Luck! I do not look forward to this with my daughters who are 5 and 10 weeks. My sons are 16 and 11 but not really interested in having relationships with girls yet but we still talk about how to prevent pregnancy and STI's and it is something that I talk to them very clinically and matter of factly. Good Luck!

Cherith - posted on 09/12/2012

I fully agree with you ,the children of today become a mom at the age of 15 onwards .Tell her like you and your husband respect her relationship ,that she to need to respect you by taking the pill ,because that way both you and your husband will be able to "sleep 'better at night .Its not an invitation for her to have Sex but a way of safe gaurding herself should she find herself in that "romantic" situation

Cherith - posted on 09/12/2012

I fully agree with you ,the children of today become a mom at the age of 15 onwards .Tell her like you and your husband respect her relationship ,that she to need to respect you by taking the pill ,because that way both you and your husband will be able to "sleep 'better at night .Its not an invitation for her to have Sex but a way of safe gaurding herself should she find herself in that "romantic" situation

Michelle - posted on 09/12/2012

I don't think forcing her is the answer, simply because you want to encourage an open relationship so she will hopefully come to you if and when she decides to become sexually active. I would however give her condoms and tell her not to just leave it up to him. This way if they are caught up in the moment they will at least have protection. In the meantime keep the lines of communication open, let her know your concerns and don't stop trying to convince her BC is a good idea. I agree with the RN who suggested approaching it from the perspective of the other benefits.

Helena - posted on 09/12/2012

All we can do is to tell our kids we love them with whole our hearts and we want the best for them.

Helena - posted on 09/12/2012

Helena Kroll



You can always try to persuade her that the bc pills are safe and help with menstrual symptoms like cramps and bleeding (bc control decrease flow to very light). Therefore these pills are very convenient. Also, BC decrease the occurrences of ovarian cancer and these pills are almost risk free ( I am an RN certified in Contraceptive Management). I have boys and I worry, too they can have several children not just one. My son is 29 and still has no children. First thing I did is; I bought condoms and left in their rooms. My younger son is 18, and I am afraid, he is already engaged in sexual activity. Always, I make sure he has condoms in his room to even share with his male fiends. And whether he likes is or do not like my "preaching", I keep telling him the risks associated with sexual activity.

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2012

I think you are asking for permission to manipulate your daughter to doing what you want with her body. Sorry, but I won't say that I think that is okay. It is her body, and I understand your concerns, but what about TRUSTING her? I fear that your snooping (as reading her texts is) and manipulative behaviour could damage your relationship with her. Maybe sit down, have a conversation. Tell her that if she is thinking about sex that you would be there for her if she decides she wants the pill. Encourage her to practice safe sex if she does decide to whether or not she goes on the pill or not. Allow HER to make the decision.

Elaine - posted on 09/12/2012

How does she feel about non-hormonal birth control, such as condoms? If she can demonstrate a thorough understanding of the proper care and use condoms, then it might be a good compromise to simply ensure that she has easy access to condoms at all times. Bonus: it protects against STDs as well. Personally, I would prefer to maintain a sense of confidence and trust in each other so that if something did go wrong (a slip, break, whatever) then she would feel comfortable enough to come to you ASAP so that you can get some Plan B. Just my 2 cents.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

I guess I'm just wondering how you invoke punishment for not taking birth control or having sex.....because it's not like they are going to tell you. Which comes back to that whole trust relationship thing.



I understand your difficulties with your child, and I am sorry you are having to deal with that. But you CAN'T make their choices for them. There is just no way you can FORCE a child to take birth control or PUNISH a child for having sex. Where I live, a 16 year old is the legal age of consent. Even the LAW doesn't punish them. This isn't like other rules. Exactly HOW do you punish for not taking birth control? Do you check her pills each day and punish for not taking it? Like you'd know.....Or do you hold her down to have the injection? Or do you just punish her when you find out she had sex? And how do you punish her?

Dove - posted on 09/12/2012

I'm sorry Toni! Good luck with your son in rehab! I know we had some 'bickering' earlier, but I honestly mean that. I hope he learns something valuable there and it sticks with him.

Toni - posted on 09/12/2012

I would impose punishment just like any other broken rule. Don't get me wrong....I have a defiant 16 year old so I understand how difficult it is to force something. I completely get that, but there are things that I will not tolerate and not being on BC and having sex is one of them. I will do anything I can to keep that from happening. Again...I know it is not easy....my child is leaving for rehab on Tuesday....and it is the hardest thing I have ever done, but if it will help my son, I will do it....even if he "thinks" he hates me for it. His future is more important than my comfort. That is why I joined this site....for support through this time....that's all.

Jodi - posted on 09/12/2012

"Don't make it an option...make it a rule. That is how I would approach. It. I would explain that adult choices come with responsibility of making sure you don't get pregnant"



Yes, I get that. But how do you MAKE her do it? The rule of the household "thou shalt take birth control pills" when she is refusing? I am just not seeing how, if she does not wish to take them, that is going to work.

Donna - posted on 09/12/2012

I will be 29 this year. I have 2 wonderful children and a wonderful husband. But i got my very first period the day after i turned 13, my mon took me down ti the health department and put me on birth control and she said 'im that doing this cus i wish my mom would have done it to me' . I stayed on it til i was 18. Good luck.