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Heavy topic

Christine - posted on 07/24/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

3

11

My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, we have two boys. a three year old and a 22 month old. I have grown to resent my husband. He led me to believe that he would be around and help raise our children. However, he works 12 hours a day and works on the house/yard or whatever else on the weekends. It almost seems like he looks for things to do not to spend time with us. Is this normal? Do most women raise their children without help from their husbands? If I had known that I would have to take care of two children and a man child things would have turned out differently. I hear that other couples take turns sleeping in on the weekends. It's rare for me not to wake up with the kids every weekend. I have mentioned to him that I would like one day of the weekend to clean the house and he said that he has things that he has to do. He has even given me a hard time for wanting an hour to shower and get ready on a Saturday. I even put his laundry away and he seems to expect it like it's common place, is it? Sometimes I think it would be easier to do it on my own. I would be happier because I would feel so resentful. My husband expects sex, but to be honest I feel like he doesn't deserve it. Am I a bitch for feeling this way? I once had my husband "watch" the kids while I did groceries and he expected to get lucky because he gave me some "me" time. Really? It's not like I was at a spa or anything. I am so depressed and don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel that I am being selfish by thinking I should leave, I mean I think I could keep going until the boys have moved out and then deal with my personal problems. Is there anyone else that is going through the same thing? My husband is not a bad man, he is a good father and provider, but should that be enough?

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Jennifer - posted on 07/25/2012

45

59

its easy to relate, after my partner and i had our little boy (3years old). I started to resent him as i felt like i was doing all the housework and looking after our little boy all by myself, i couldnt help thinking that he wasnt interested. I got to the point where i just gave up i packed my little man and me up and went and stayed at my parents place, which is over 8 hours away. Now i was there for over a month, just sorting my head out. Once i was finally able to talk about it, my mum sat down and listened, then she gave me some advise. I was told that it sounded like as a couple we had lost our magic and started to take advantage of each other which is quiet natural after you have kids. She suggested that i go home and to date even though your living in same house, once a week where its about us, where i could talk and so can he and share what your feeling. So that we find us again then eventually add a family day where you do a activities together for the WHOLE day, even if its just watch a kid friendly movie together, cook biscuits, just some kind of bonding day. We have now added daddy and little man morning together where i get me time, even if is to relax in a bubble bath or catch up with a girlfriend.Now my partner and i have been together for 6 years and i thank my mother every day for the advise.

So i would suggest yo you, maybe you should get a baby sitter for a an evening and date, it will help the communication between you and him, where he listens to you not just blocks you with things he has to do. Best of luck....

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