Hello Everyone, i'm very new to this so i apologize if i'm writing in the wrong area. I need some much needed advice pls. I have 3 children, 2 of them girls and youngest is my boy. he is 3 years ols. Because he is with girls constantly

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello Everyone, i'm very new to this so i apologize if i'm writing in the wrong area. I need some much needed advice pls. I have 3 children, 2 of them girls and youngest is my boy. he is 3 years ols. Because he is with girls constantly, he is use to playing with girls and their toys and watching lots and lots of barbie movies and my little pony movies etc. He also prances around and sings like he is Repunzel in tangled (his favourite movie :) ) It has become a problem for my husband as he blames me for his girly tendencies. (if you know what i mean). for this reason, i've enrolled my son into a little soccer group but its been 2 lessons down and my son shows no interest and is wanting to do dancing steps and singing whilst the others are kicking the ball around.. IS my husband right?? have i ruined his chances of being a real boy because he has been around girls all his life? When we are out with other families, he doesn't seem to know how to get along with boys and starts to hit them and so on. I'm so sad and im starting to blame myself that i haven't given my son the ability of a boy like other mothers that have boys and are REAL boyish behaviours.. Feeling quite overwhelmed her with guilt. Any helpful advice would be highly appreciated. Thank you in advance for reading and listening.

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Pamela - posted on 02/17/2013

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Don't beat yourself up....He's only 3 years old. Not sure how your husband can blame you....when he is the man in his life. Maybe your husband should spend more time with him...just the two of them to bond and do "guy things" (sports, fishing,video games etc.) You can only introduce him to certain things and let him decide what he is interested in. I definitely don't think that you have ruined him. Normally kids that age play with anyone that shows interest. Perhaps, allow all of the kids to watch more neutral movies and shows rather than princess movies all of the time. Also is he in school or around other children or boys his age. He's probably just trying to fit in with his sisters because those are his playmates. Have your husband take a more active approach and include more neutral or boy activities in your home. I'm sure everything is fine. It seems like learned behavior from being around his sisters.

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Michelle - posted on 02/17/2013

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I agree with Pamela about making your husband spend more time with his son rather than "blaming" you for who he likes to play with. If your husband is so worried then he can do more to influence his son's activities.

I have the opposite (2 boys and a girl) and my oldest son has always liked to dress up like a princess even from a young age. He doesn't do it too much now though as he's almost 12. He still loves playing with his little sister though.

Liz - posted on 02/17/2013

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He is a boy and will always be a 'real boy', no matter how he develops. Any behavior that he exhibits is REAL BOY behavior. Please don't use terminology that suggests that your kid is anything abnormal or wrong.

I guess you are worried that he might be homosexual. If he is, it won't be because he played with girl's toys when he was young. He either is gay or he isn't. Even if he later turns out to be, he'll still be your son, he will still deserve 100% of your love and support and will still be, most importantly, a REAL BOY.

Besides, kids at his age often enjoy playing with toys that adults consider to belong to the other gender, because they just don't see it the way that those adults do. He could play dress up in princess dresses, play with a dolls house and dolls and it wouldn't or shouldn't be a problem to you. My daughter plays with bulldozers, trucks and cars as much as she does with princesses. I don't have any worries that this will magically turn her into a lesbian.

Let him do what he wants to do and don't cue his behavior by acting differently around him when he wants to do what you regard as 'girly'. When he gets to daycare, you'll probably find that the other boys are happy to play with him doing whatever. Plenty of the boys at my daughter's daycare like playing with the doll kitchen.

Jennifer - posted on 02/17/2013

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THanks Pamela, everything you just mentioned, i've suggested and done. i'm enrolling him into a daycare soon and hopefully he will meet some friends. i'm just scared that because his been around girls and tends to do girlie things, that he might get teased by the boys and they won't want to play with him. I'm just so torn as i didn't have these problems with my girls. Thank you for your helpful advise. I appreciate it.

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