Help! Can't get my 4 and half yr old to go to the bathroom?

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Flechia - posted on 09/01/2009

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I took my son to Wal-mart and he got to pick out his own very special underwear. Then, he tried very hard to not have accidents in them . I only used pull-ups at night. During the day, he had to wear real underwear so he could feel when he had to go. Set up a schedule for potty time just like when you used to have a schedule for feedings when he was little. Whether he says he has to go or not, take him and make him sit down for a few minutes. Read a book together while you wait. Make it a big deal.

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Leanne - posted on 09/10/2009

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Hi,I use to put 3 or 4 fruit loops or any kind of round cereal in the toilet bowl and my son who was very hard to train at the time loved going to see if he could sink them.It worked a treat.Then after about two weeks I stopped and because he was usually in a hurry to get there he didnt even notice,and now we can get back to eating the cereal.Yay.

[deleted account]

this may sound strange but try putting a cherrio in the toilet and get him to try and aim for the cherrio. When our boys were at that age we lived in the country and hubby would take them outside and they would literally chase down ants to pee on, by=ut, hey it worked. Within a week they were using the toilet, at least during the day.

Sonja - posted on 09/10/2009

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i know potty training a lil girl is different than a boy but the way i got her potty trained was i bought the kid toilet seats that go on the potty and when i had to go i would bring her with me and let her watch...when i would get her to try i would put that on there squat in front of her and hold her hand while she tried...she has been fully potty trained since she was 26 months.

Jessamine - posted on 09/09/2009

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Pee in the toilet for boys is the easy thing what you do is buy a pingpong ball pop it in the loo and tell your boy to try and 'sink it' LOL it's great because they don't just want to go in the toilet it all actually goes IN the toilet! Now poop is a diferent story it's best to teach them young because they don't understand that it's easier to go in their nappy. Try letting them pick the toilet paper/wipes in the supermarket the one with the 'cool' prints. This way they can't wait to go poo because they get to use the cool paper.

Jyl - posted on 09/09/2009

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My daughter was fairly easy. She was money motivated. A nickle for peeing and a quarter for pooping. She had earned about 25 dollars by the time she was fully trained 1 month before she was 3. We also took a long car trip for a family emergency (about 18 hrs drive time) by the time we got there she had potty trained herself. She figured out that bathroom break meant time out of the car :)

My son was a little harder. M and M motivated to an extent. We got him a training Urinal (a terrific invention) He knew what he needed to do but wouldn't. Finally my parents were coming to visit and Nana promised more Thomas track for his train if he was trained when they got there (he had 1 week). The next day he announced he needed his underwear on. We had a couple of accidents that week but, he potty trained for Nana when he wouldn't for us. Maybe try having someone else with the incentive.

At 4 1/2 they shouldn't like getting wet. You may also let them know that all their friends wear underwear and you're concerned they are not. Let them know if it continues a trip to the doctor maybe in order. It's amazing what kids do to avoid the doctor.

Speaking of which my niece needed the doctor to tell her it was time to be potty trained. The doctor talked to her and the next day she was potty trained.

Jodi - posted on 09/08/2009

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Both my kids were stubborn about using the toilet. I just reached a point with each of them (at about 3 1/2) that I refused to buy any more nappies. Then they had no choice. They knew what they should do, they just wouldn't do it, but as soon as nappies were no longer an option (and the tantrums about it didn't work), they trained within days. Take away the nappies, as this is just enabling the situation. At 4 1/2, your child should be wanting to get out of them anyway.

Patience - posted on 09/08/2009

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I went through the same thing with my son. I could not get him to use the toilet until he was 3 months from his 5th birthday!!! I just basically told him that I was out of money, and could not buy him any more diapers. It was either I buy the diapers or a Christmas present ... his choice. Needless to say he chose well. There is not magical sollution for this. Your child will do it when she is ready. Just be patient. Good luck.

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My son learned to pee quickly but would not poop on the potty. After about a month of doing the "potty dance",sticker charts and candy, etc I told him if he went poop on the potty we would immediately go to the toy store and he could pick out any toy he wanted (figured that would easily be cheaper than another 2 months of diapers and I was desperate and willing to pay any price to be done potty training) My kids love shopping for toys, so the idea of actually going to the store and immediately getting a toy was great incentive. Within a day he pooped on the potty....8:30pm just as we had all gotten in our jammies and ready for bed. So....we held our end of the deal and all loaded in the car in our pj's and went to buy a truck. While we were there I picked up some smaller toys to keep incenting him. He was done after that.

Robyn - posted on 09/06/2009

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Quoting Audrey:

Help! Can't get my 4 and half yr old to go to the bathroom?




I was lucky with my first child, she pretty much potty trained herself at about 18 months. Now with my youngest son it was a different story. I tried and tried for about 3 months but since he was in daycare it was hard for the consistency of going to the bathroom every 20 minutes. Well, I was able to take him out of daycare and keep him at home and after that it only took a week of consistency to toilet train him to go pee...now pooping was another thing. He would wear underwear all day, and not go to the bathroom in them. He would always wait for me to put his pull up on him at night to go poop. So, I decided after a week of him doing that, I was going to put him to bed in his underwear. And guess what, he told me that he had to poop and wanted his pull up on so he could go. I told him that he was going to wear his underwear to bed that night and if he wanted to go poop, he needed to go get on the toilet. Well, he went in and go on the toilet and went poop and that is all it took, we got rid of the pull ups and that was all there was to it. I think I was lucky. I hope that you can have as easy of a time as I did. He was a little past 3 then.

Leah - posted on 09/06/2009

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I cant get my son to go to bathroom properly either!! I take him every hour and of course he whines! But he is almost 3 and a half. He has only pooped in the potty once! Once! He goes and hides somewhere and then comes and tells me!! I have told him evrything under the sun to get him to stop wearing pull ups! I say that big boys wear underwear, Mommy and daddy and bubba wear underwear, I bribe him anything...I dont know what to do!!!!

Brenda - posted on 09/05/2009

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My younger son would only sit on the potty for M&Ms, so I would give him 2 M&M for trying and 5 M&Ms if he actually went potty. I would also sit him backwards when he was starting out, so that way he didn't feel like he was going to fall in. He never had any interest in using a potty chair. When it came time for him to stand and pee, I used a square of toilet paper and i would lay it on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl and I told him he had to blast it and sink it. He loved that and his aim is quite good LOL

Sara - posted on 09/05/2009

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What does she adore the most try to use that. If she loves sticker make a potty chart with stickers. And so on

Tanda - posted on 09/04/2009

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I started to get very frustrated when my son was 21/2 and wouldn't go potty consistantly. I did some searching on the internet and came across 3daypottytraining.com. You have to buy an e-book that costs $25, but it comes with all the free advice you need via email. Anyway, I was desperate so I bought the e-book (only a couple pages long) and did what it said. It worked so miraculously I couldn't believe it! Never even had to ask for extra advice. He was completely potty-trained (day and night) in less than 3 days. I'm about to try it with my 22 mo. old daughter this weekend.

Tina - posted on 09/04/2009

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My son refused to sit on the potty at all until he was about 3 1/2... then he would sit on it at bedtime as a stall tactic, but only sometimes. We had had several failed attempts trying to do it in conjunction with his daycare providers - who were very good, but he was having none of it. Two weeks before Christmas we told him that if he sat on the potty every night before bed that Santa would leave him a special present on Christmas morning. He did, though some nights he balked until we reminded him about the special present from Santa. After Christmas, we continued to gently require that he at least sit on the potty every night, then at News Year, I had 5 days off work in a row, and on day one, I wrote out rules about going on the potty... 1. He was to use the potty to poop and pee. That diapers were for babies and he was a big boy. 2. He would get a sticker and a chocolate chip everytime he sat on the potty. 3. He would get a two of each if he pooped or peed in the potty. The first day was tough. If he something else caught my attention for a minute, he would get out of my sight and hide in a corner to do his business. We asked him every hour to sit on the potty, walked with him to the bathroom when he was showing signs that he need to go. I made a big deal everytime he went. I did not leave him alone more than 3 feet from me for the first three or 4 days. He didn't poop for two days, but when he did, we did the poopy on the potty dance. After day 3, he was trained. Hang in there and don't let the child out of your sight. :)

Mary - posted on 09/04/2009

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Don't put any kind of diaper on during the day. They have to feel the uncomfortableness of being wet or dirty. My 3yr old son was having issues with the dirty pants and he started to have to clean himself up and he doent want to touch the poop so real soon he was heading to the bathroom. Disposal diapers are the down fall to potty training and you have to take the extra time. They do get it.

Sharon - posted on 09/04/2009

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My son is 3 1/2 yrs old and is suppose to start school mid-sept. he tries the potty once in awhile, but that's it. I need to potty train him quick but I just want to give up, i wish it would just happen natural. Maybe its just me not him that''s why he hasn't really done it yet. I'm overwelmed!

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I read in an article on the internet about creating a face on the toilet lid and giving it a name, I used that for my son at the time 4 year old, it did help a little, he did find it interesting to call the toilet bill. We would tell him Bill was hungry or thirsty. But the poops wouldn't come. So I found this reward site on the internet called Milo Handipoints and with the program there's a reward at the end. So we went out and bought him a brand new bike and told him how many points he had to receive to get the bike and would remind him lots throughout the day. Within a month he was fully toilet trained.

Fiona - posted on 09/02/2009

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sorry i have the same problem with my son he is 4 years old and he will not go to the toilet properly, he even starts school today which is the night mare . can anyone help please ? i had no problems with my daughter at all

Christina - posted on 09/02/2009

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With both of my kids 5 and 7 it was just cut and dry this is where you go once you are big (age 2). Every hour I took them potty and even if they did not go potty, we sat and read a short book while they were on the potty. Sometimes without knowing it, they would go. If they did go they got to put a sticker on their potty chart. The chart was fun to make as a family activity and if they got 5 stickers a week they go to go to the dollar tree and pick out a toy! I bought the plastic sheets for the bed and the plastic case for the pillow (both go under your sheet set and pillow case. This way you can change the sheets and case fast if there are accidents and you just wipe the bed and pillow with a chlorox wipe and then put the new ones on. No more wet matress or pillows! You have to set a reasonable goal but with your child being almost 5, I think its more a control thing. That is the last thing he or she has control over in his or her life. You have to be consistent for any method to work. It may get frustrating, it may make you want to scream, cry, or kill! But you have to stick to whatever method you choose or he/she will see that they can beat you and will!

Sandy - posted on 09/02/2009

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We're still working on my daughter, but a big help was to make her be naked from the waist down (while we're at home of course w/ the curtains shut). She didn't like the feel of pee on her legs. (she considered pullups/panties to be diapers) That has helped soooo much in letting her realize the feeling of when you need to go BEFORE you go. We're up to big girl panties at home and daycare and naptime, but pullups still when we leave the house and nighttime.

Maggie - posted on 09/01/2009

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Let her pick out some "big girl" underwear. Get her a small potty (some kids are afraid of the height of the regular toilet) and take her to it every hour for a day or two. She will get the hang of it pretty quick! I did this with my 18 month old and he was potty trained in no time! Keep your patience set up a special treat for once she has an accident free day (we went out to Arby's for dinner). We also used stickers for rewards after each successful trip to the potty.

Katrine - posted on 09/01/2009

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My son has lactose intolerance, and before we had the diagnosis, he had ALOT of diarrhea. During that time, we couldn't even try to get him to sit on the potty for pooping. He was good at peeing in the potty, but that was it. Once we knew what was causing him to be so sick, we have changed his diet and he is doing much better. When he first got back to a healthy pattern, he was also afraid to sit on the potty, because it had hurt so much to poop before. It took consistency, and a sticker chart, but eventually he has gotten to the point that he is mostly pooping in the potty each day, and he tells us when he needs to go-he is almost 4 now. Good luck!

Marie - posted on 09/01/2009

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Lots of great replies. My son definately loved stickers on a train template (so many free templates online). I personalized it for him and he got a prize at the end. Every 5 stickers her got to pick a small prize (marble, a plastic animal from one of the tubes of 20 animals, a tattoo). When the stickers lost steam, then we went for M&Ms. After a month of definate a pee trained child (he would still noly poop in his pull up - FEAR), I gave him an enema and just sat him on his potty while he played a game in the living room. 20 minutes later and some hand holding, it was done and he no longer feared pooping in the potty.

Flechia - posted on 09/01/2009

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To Melissa Widener, my son also did that when he was little. He was really constipated as a baby and had learned to hold it in and not go when he should. My pediatrician suggested mineral oil in his juice or milk. Just about a teaspoon or so. It does not taste and it coats the colon so that it is easier to poop. You do not need a prescription and we just did it every morning for breakfast. Check with your child's doctor and see what he says. It worked! We stayed on it until he was about 3 after he was trained.

Stacey - posted on 09/01/2009

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My son ppoped in a pull up until the summer before kindergarten. I told if he wanted to go to school ne needed to ude the potty.

Dawn - posted on 09/01/2009

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I got him a toy that he really wanted and told him that to earn it he had to use the bathroom and have no opps for a whole week. If he made a mess, he had to start all over. We used stickers on the calender so he could see how well he was doing. Too bad it doesn't work for bed-wetting. *sigh*

Melissa - posted on 09/01/2009

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Audrey i have the same problem my son is 3 1/2 and does really well pee peeing in the potty but will not poop in the potty. i am at my wits end on what to do. he will go and hide and poop and then come and tell me

Stephanie - posted on 09/01/2009

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i told my son that diapers were only for babies and that he was a big boy so he couldn't wear them anymore, it worked in a month he was totally done with diapers and he was a bit over 3

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