help im a new mom and i cant put my baby down!!

Amanda - posted on 07/19/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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i just had my son 3 weeks ago and i already cant put him down with out him crying! He's the first grandbaby heck the first baby in a LONG time so i understand everyone wanting to hold him i even hold him obviously... but now i think i am learning my lesson lol I dont know what to do about it though ive tried it all i make sure hes dry warm fed he isnt gassy i do think he has acid reflux ive tried letting him cry for a few minutes in hopin he will stop but doesnt please does anyone have any advice???

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Rachel - posted on 08/18/2010

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You should definitely look into some kind of baby carrier that you can wear and do housework or laundry while baby is snuggled up next to you. Also a swaddle-me blanket did wonders for my son and when it was time for naps or bed I would swaddle him up and he would immediately stop crying and slept great in his crib until he was old enough to wriggle out of them near 4 months. There were a lot of days that he would cry when I put him down and if it was during his awake time I would put him in his bouncy chair and sing and talk to him and if it was during nap time I would let him cry a little, then go in and pat his back and talk and sing to him. I did not hold him all the time when he was little because I didn't want him to expect that all the time and because you need to have time for yourself. He is now 16 months and a happy, energetic boy who definitely loves being near me and around me and of course loves being held but loves to run around and explore his world.

Jenn - posted on 08/18/2010

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Too be honest babies this young do not need to cry it out yet. He is crying because he needs something. Remember 3 short weeks ago he was warm and safe in your belly. He still needs to be snuggled.

Sarah - posted on 08/18/2010

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If he has acid reflux and you formula feed, I would try to switch his formula. Talk to your pediatrician. My pediatrician did an upper GI test to make sure it's acid reflux. So talk with your pediatrician and see if there's anything you can do such as meds or formula switching or an upper GI. :) Hope this helps.

Sarah - posted on 07/19/2010

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We are given Mother's intuition, which is why we want to pick up crying babies. Why do we force ourselves to suppress this natural instinct for our own convenience?

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2010

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I had this problem with my first who was so clingy and still is (just turned 2) so with my youngest (almost 4 months) I decided that I won't hold him while he sleeps (and I don't 80% of the time, but I sleep with him 50% of the night - slept with my daughter all night every night). BUt even though I don't cuddle him as much or hold him as much (as need time with my daughter too) he is still obsessed with me!! LOL. But some babies are more clingy and some more independent. I guess I have the clingy ones. Although it is annoying that my oldest is still super clingy and everything I wouldn't change it - it does make it hard to take care of 2 kids who want u 24/7 but the way I see it soon they will be in school then teenagers, etc and not want me as much - so will take it will it lasts!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2010

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i agree with the other moms who have suggested wearing him in a wrap or sling. babies need to be close to their momma! it helps teach them that they can trust you to take care of them. my son is 8 months old and i wear him on my hip in a sling several times a day while i get housework done and he isn't "spoiled" at all, and actually loves having time to himself when he isn't in the sling.

in the first few months of life especially, it is impossible to hold a baby too much. they need it.

Michelle - posted on 07/19/2010

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I agree with playing soothing music and letting him cry for a little while before picking him up. Also, if he does go to sleep in your arms then put him straight in his crib/cot so he wakes in there, then perhaps he'll get used to being in there. I can understand where people are coming from saying pick him up then but I do believe that's a habit that is hard to get even a baby out of once they are used to it. I think it's far better to get him to sleep in his cot as soon as you can. I can also understand the need to pick up a baby when he/she cries, especially your first baby, as nobody likes to hear a baby cry but you really don't want to get into bad habits if you can help it. Good luck.

Sarah - posted on 07/19/2010

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I completely agree with the baby wearing advice. Actually babies whose needs for physical affection are met from an early age grow up to be independent and happy. You can't spoil a baby at this age.

Stina - posted on 07/19/2010

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You cannot hold a baby too much. He isn't crying when you pt him down b/c he is spoiled, but because he wants to be close to you.



A sling or wrap will free up your hands and satisfy his need to be carried. He's so new, he's still adjusting to life on the outside. My favorite baby wearer is a Moby Wrap but with my first two, I used a bedsheet. Check out http://wearyourbaby.com/ for tips on baby wearing.



We also found a swing helpful.

Jonna - posted on 07/19/2010

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Three weeks is still really young... I don't believe it's a bad thing to hold him as much as you want at that age. I have always put my baby to bed at night in his/her own bed, and I started laying baby down for naps at about three weeks, but gradually (like baby sleeps in bed for one nap a day, then two, then three... and so on) Some babies just want more comfort for longer, my second child was pretty clingy and wanted to be held a lot (he's 2 now and still does, but he does sleep and nap alone), while my other two have always been perfectly content to be in a swing or on the floor playing. Don't worry... he's your new baby and you're just giving him all the love in the world, as you should. Good Job! If you are concerned with a tummy problem though, ask your doc. You can try gripe water or mylecon drops for gas and other tummy upsets.

Chelbie - posted on 07/19/2010

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Well my daughter was on oxugen and was early so she was kind of fussy i usually just made sure that she was okay and put on some soothing music for her. Try clssical or put on a mobile for him that ended up working for her.I let her cry for 10 mins or 15 if she cried and stopped a few times it helped her lungs develope and taught her to "self sooth" and realize she was okay if she wasnt being held at all times. She was the first niece and grandaughter for my parents and the cutest great grand baby limit how much people hold him now including yourself it willonly get worse trust me! my daughter was the same way until she was about 7 months old and interfered with her crawling and being able to play on her own she does great now but try those few things they should work

Lisbeth - posted on 07/19/2010

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go buy your self a wrap/sling and carry him many ppl do this look up attachment parenting. Their is nothing wrong with carrying your new born around and you won't get all that much time to do this before they are running around on their own. So enjoy it while it lasts.

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