Help! My 16 month old won't sleep in her crib the whole night thru

Danielle - posted on 12/30/2009

Wow, you are not alone! I too am going through the same thing with my now 17 month old son. He does the same thing, same time and all. I too bring him back to bed with me, but I am trying to break this habit as we speak. When he wakes up the first thing I usually check is his diaper, make sure he has a clean diaper on because he will not be able to sleep comfortably with a wet diaper on. Then I let him cry. Like I said this is a work in progress for me, I still tend to let him sleep with me sometimes. I wish you luck as to myself also.

Lindsey - posted on 12/30/2009

Thank you all so much, I think I am going to put all the suggestions together and try to work it out!!!

Beckie - posted on 12/30/2009

Quoting Lindsey:

Help! My 16 month old won't sleep in her crib the whole night thru

My 16 month old will fall asleep downstairs with me on the couch and then I put her in her crib and about 2-3am shes up and in bed with us... I TRY so hard to rock her back to sleep and put her back in her crib but the second I lift her over the rails she's up again! It's starting to drive me nutz! Any suggestions?? I was thinking about converting her crib into a toddler bed, that way I'm not lifting her over railing.....Do you think it's too soon?? I put one of my pillows in her crib, and that seemed to help for a bit.....

my oldest was early going into a bed he wouldnt sleep in his cot from 17months so i put him in a bed. it took a bit for him to settle because it was somthing new but in the end he settled a lot better i think it was the lack of space for him to move in his cot. instead of rocking him to sleep i put him to bed and everytime he got out i put him back it took a while but he soon got the message. i also found its best not to talk to them and dont give in.

Christie - posted on 12/30/2009

i use the Sleep Lady Book by Kim West..she does a great job explaining different ways to get them to sleep and to offer them comfort. my son is 14 mos now and puts himself to sleep for his naps and at bedtime. it wasn't easy and we still have some tears but it is so much better than 2 mos ago when he was still waking up 2 or 3 times a night for comfort feedings. i did have to let him do a little "cry it out" which she doesn't recommend but it worked for us. i hope you get some sleep soon, it makes all the difference :)

Gwen - posted on 12/30/2009

My daughter is 21 mo. and sometimes does the same thing in the middle of the night, usually around 1am. Instead of bringing her to bed w/ me we look out the window and tell everything "night, night". I give her a kiss and put her in her crib. Typically she THROWS a FIT when I leave the room, but I've found that if I wait a bit it usually only lasts about 5 minutes and she's back to sleep.

If, for some reason, it doesn't work the first try (after 10-15 minutes) I go back in and repeat the process. I don't do it more than twice.

I am not a CIO mom, but once I actually gave her a little time, I found that the crying really only lasted a few minutes (although it felt like FOREVER!).

Also, you really need to work on a good bedtime routine and get her in the habit of falling asleep in her own bed instead of on the couch. She needs to learn how to go to bed awake or drowsy and fall asleep on her own. Imagine how disorienting it must be for her to fall asleep in one room w/ mom and wake up alone in a different room!

Kirsty - posted on 12/30/2009

Firstly I would start to put her to sleep in her crib, and not on you. That is a bad habit that needs to be broken. (I know it is going to be very hard for both of you). When she wakes up in the middle of the night, don't puck her up to go back to sleep. Settle her in her cot.

I had to do this with my son, I let him cry himself back to sleep. It sounds cruel but it works.

I did it in stages, I would let him cry for 15mins then settle him in his cot (I would give him a little bit of water in a bottle). The next time he cried, I would wait longer, then the next time he cried I would wait longer. Then eventually, you will wake up expecting her to cry and she sleeps the whole way through.

As I know it is hard to not go in to see her because she is crying, remember she is in a safe environment in her cot and she can't hurt herself.

My son has suffered from ear infections since he was 5 months old, I still used this technique when his ears where fine.

Im sure you know a difference between they cry "mummy pick me up" and "mummy I'm not feeling well"

Good Luck, if you want to talk further about this just email me through the message box. Also there is a book called Silent Nights that may help. I don't totally agree with the method (I adapted it to suit myself) but it is a good read and any new suggestions are good.

Kristie - posted on 12/30/2009

I had the same thing going on with my son when he was about the same age. He is now three, but what I did was converted his crib into a todler bed and made sure his room was fully baby proofed. Then I left his door open and put a baby gate at his doorway so he could not get out of his room. The first night I tried this, I put him to bed like normal and put the gate up behind me. Three hours later like always he woke up, so I climbed over the gate and put him back to bed. I sat on the floor next to him and rested my head close to his, he fell asleep. Once I went to bed, I turned the monitor on (I had a video monitor) and when he woke up I let him cry and fuss for a few minutes.. he proceeded to get out of his bed, something would normally catch his eye, played a little bit and then cry again...so I repeated the laying him back in his bed resting my head on his bedside. I proceeded to this several nights and then I would slowly move further away from his bed each time and each night. It then go to the point where he would get out of bed, play a little and fall asleep on the floor, in the middle of the night I would get up and put him in his bed. It seemed like once he knew that I would come if he really needed me too, he was fine, but he also liked the idea that he could play and if he cried I would come and he could not play anymore. So it is kind of a tricking game, after a couple months of him getting out of bed and playing and me putting him back in bed, he started doing it himself. He would play and then crawl back in bed and go back to sleep. Then he just got to where he would stay in his bed and sleep all night and get up in the mornings and play before he even fussed for me to come get him. So thats what worked for me, I was never one of those parents that could let their kids CRY IT OUT. So maybe this could work for you or bits and pieces could! Good luck, she is at very in between age which makes certain things hard to get them to do!

Hope - posted on 12/30/2009

Lindsey, my daughter was doing the same thing because I would bring her to bed with me when she woke up when she was sick. Then she figured out that she could just cry and I would come and bring her to bed with me. They are alot smarter than we give them credit for at this age. She was wants to be near you that's all. But I just decided one night that it had to stop. She fell asleep with me on the couch and I put her in her crib. She started crying and i just turned on her music and left the room. She cried for 30 minutes that night. My pediatrician said that if she's crying she's breathing. She said let them cry for about 30 minutes and try again. After that night she goes right to bed. Now she does wake up sometimes but I usually let her moan and cry for about 3 minutes if that and she falls right back to sleep. She is now sleeping from 8pm to 7am. It's great. You might give it a try. Hope it helps.

Janette - posted on 12/30/2009

There is no easy way. U can always let her fall asleep wit u, then put her back in her bed, same with naps. I used to sit in my daughter's room until she was asleep thn sneak out. then repeat all night long..... good luck!!