HELP!! My 7 month old son is a real whinge

Anna-marie - posted on 06/15/2010

Thankyou for your reply ladies.
I think it is frustration, as my boy seems to be quite advanced, he was sitting at 4 months, he was in a walker at 5 months, he was commando crawling at 6 months and has now started to crawl on his hands and knees and pull himself up on things.
But sometimes all i have to do is put him down and he just cracks it, like i said even passing him to his grandad he just cries...
sometimes when he plays he just constantly whines.. which is what makes me think its frustration, but its so difficult to listen to.
Kahlia - thankyou so much for taking the time to write so much.. my routine is pretty good. he's not a big sleeper in the day, but sleeps well at night. he just wants to do stuff all the time, i have to keep him stimulated at all times, its exhausting by the end of the day.. some days he is good and others.. he just whinges all day.
he is deveolping so quickly at the moment, its scary.. (very exciting though) but i cant imagine what its like for him.. something new every day, he's just learnt to wave goodbye today too!
when he's whinging, i try and ignore it for as long as i can... (when i know its just a whinge) but it just goes on and on and gets louder then he gets distressed then i have no choice but to comfort him, but it is for no reason!!
i dont want a child that communicates with me through tears and tantrums..
if he does well, i praise hima nd clap my hands and get very excited for him, which he loves, but like i say, i try and ignore his whinging for as long as i can, but it always ends up with him crying..loudly!
i don't know...
x

Kahlia - posted on 06/15/2010

Hi Anna-marie, my baby was a bit of a whinger at about the same age but for her it was due to frustration at not being able to move around (she was not crawling at this stage). Once I got her a great activity centre that she could sit/stand and turn around in she was a different bub. Your bub sounds a bit different as you say he is already crawling so it may not be due to frustration from lack of movement. You are right when you say that behavior is learned - even at this young age!
A couple of things to think about - what sort of routine do you have? Does he eat, sleep, play etc at roughly the same time each day? Some babies are highly sensitive to a lack of routine or changes to their routine, some are not.
His environment - does he have age appropriate toys/activites? With babies and young children it is better to spend short frequent bursts of uninterrupted one on one time eg 15 minutes of playing every hour instead of 30 minutes every 4 hours.
If you think it may be separation anxiety kicking in then when you leave the room tell him you are leaving and that you will return, only leave for a few seconds at first and when you return give him a big hello, smile, hug. If he does not whinge then make a really big fuss, I know he is only 7 months and he will not yet understand this but eventually he will.
One of the most important things to think about is how do you respond to his behavior? Try to be really conscious of your responses to his different behaviors during the day. Do you go to him or pick him up when he whinges? It is a really easy trap to fall into and most of us tend to do it without even thinking about it.Before we know it we have taught our child that they will get our attention when we see undesirable behavior (like whinging). The best way to try to kurb this is give him lots of attention/praise/kisses/cuddles etc when you see desirable behavour and try to ignore the whinging as much as possible (without letting him get distressed). If he gets distressed when you ignore his whinging then try a diversionary tactic like singing a song that has hand movements or doing a little dance.
All babies and children see our attention as the best reward in the world and as parents we need to be conscious of the behavior we are rewarding.

Louise - posted on 06/15/2010

If you have ruled out teething then may be he is bored and frustrated. He is not old enough to crawl properly but he does need stimulation. Does he whinge when he is in his pushchair outside. Probably not! Try and go out at least once a day and when he is at home surround him in stimulation. He is just about old enough to fit into a walker so wrap him up in a blanket to support his back and let him sit in the walker. He will not be able to move it but he can play with the things on the tray. As he gets older he will be able to explore for himself moving to where he wants to get. This whinging will stop it is just a phase.