Help my children will not go to sleep at night!

Charlene - posted on 07/16/2009

I have a 2 year old and I cant agree more that routine is the key, no matter where you are try and do the same things every night, bathtime, eating time and then it's off to bed, we walk and switch barney of the television, we say goodnight to the doggies, kisses mom and dad goodnight and then I put him in bed. I had very similiar problems until I started with the routine and it worked for me. Good Luck, hope it works for you x

Kelly - posted on 07/15/2009

Well I am a single mom of a 12 year old daughter. I have to say that my daughter has been on medication for many of her years to sleep as she has other disorders and adds to the sleep issues. Added on with the meds I made sure with the help of professional people to create like a schedule with ideas such as bath or shower time would be say 7pm, meds would be 6pm, getting her school stuff ready (not in summer time obviously) ready for school the next day, etc and bedtime would be 8pm. Right now for one being summer but two her sleep medication is no longer strong enough but she still goes to bed about 8pm. Don't relax the routine too much just because of summer either because it takes a long time to get them back on the schedule when you need it most say for example when it is back to school time. You might want to try a bath for the younger ones with the Johnson and Johnson I think it is lavender or something like that to help relax them as well. Maybe try to add in after the tub and tucks into bed add in where you will read a book to them for about 10 minutes and make that part of the routine as well so they can have a reason to be excited to get to bed because they have something to look forward to.

Lisa - posted on 07/15/2009

Quoting Kirsten:

Check out Super Nanny she has some great ways to get kids to sleep. Get a routine before bed time and then lay them down and leave them. The first time they get out of bed walk them back to their room say, "I love you, but it's bed time." and leave. The second time just say, "it's bed time." Every time after that just carry/walk them back to their beds without saying a word to them or hugging/cuddling them. It will probably take an hour or more the first night so make sure you have someone to support and encourage you through it. Good luck!

Amen. I'm a single mom, I only have one, and I'm 40 yrs old, have a bad hip, had 2 neck surgeries and a bad ankle, not to mention an extra 80 lbs. My daughter is 3, and its tuff being consistant, epsecially if it includes a lot of pickinig up and returning to bed, but it does work, and in a couple days, she was going to bed at bedtime without debate. It helps that we do a lot of outside play in the evenings too and wear her out

Maria - posted on 07/14/2009

LOL!!! Eventually this will be every parents' dilemma. I'm not qualified to give professional advise, but this is what I did and I swear it worked. After so long of fighting that it's time to go nite-nite and they won't ... I told them not to go to sleep!!! I told them they have to stay up all nite and if they sleep, they're going to the corner. They thought I was joking until they started dozing off and I told them no, they have to stay up. Of course, I finally let them sleep, but that taught them a lesson. They go to sleep when it's bedtime. I guess you can call it reverse psychology. Good luck!

Anya - posted on 07/14/2009

Hi Kim. I am a parent of 5, the last being twins. They are all grown up and planning families of their own. With the first, I was on a schedule, consistent, but at 6 mos. of age, she just wouldn't fall asleep in the crib. So, with no experience, I let her crash anywhere, and then transported her, in her sleep. Her dad, and grandpa would go to her every sound that they heard. I told them when the second daughter was born, that only I will go to her. She was a great sleeper. You check it all out, and let her stay in her crib. With the third, my son was great till he got ill at 1 1/2 and started waking up and I made the mistake of going back and lying down with him. It is comforting but I had to do that for a few years. Then the surprise twins came along, and when they started jumping out of their cribs, the both of them at around 1 1/2, and I knew we had to go back to the room. I put them back in their cribs, reassured them, and sometimes sat at the bedside, but they did get back to sleep.

I run a Home Day Care for decades now, and I know how easily kids can adjust to many situations. I had a girl a yr. ago, whose mother said that she will not sleep here at all, that she only sleeps in her own room. Well, to her surprise, after patting and rubbing her back the 1st 2 days, she did go to sleep in the playpen w/no problems thereafter. Her cousin was the same age, and I had her also, and she slept here on a schedule, but at home, she would be up daily until 11:00 p.m. or 12: p.m. We hate to see our kids cry, and sometimes the kids are in control, or the parent is too tired to fight them, so they give in to the child or they start letting them into their own beds. After all, they do have to get up early, and get to work the next day. There are pros and cons about sleeping in the bed with mom and dad, and there is more and more written about the topic.

One of the day care girls was sleeping w/the parents for 6 yrs. She began waking up in the night for her soother, so they placed at least ten of them in the crib,......that way she was bound to find one and place it in her mouth, even when sleepy. Kids can adjust easily, but they are different with the parent at home and different elsewhere.

My son was one yr. old when we went out to our anniversary celebration, and a wife of a friend of ours watched our first 3, for the first time. I was more worried than the kids. My son actually went to sleep for her without a fuss, which I found unbelievable. He was content though, because his 4 and 7 yrs. old sisters were there also. I have mothers complaining that they have to lay down with their child. The child loves it, and would love it to be permanent. If they wake up in the night in their cribs again, they are up panicking. Like my doc said, shut the door, after checking them, and do it for 3 days, and they will settle into a routine. I couldn't do it with my first. Always do check though to see what the problem could be.

I have seen the Nanny technique and it is hard work, and a big transition, for the child and the parent but it does work. First you put them in their rooms. When they come out, you reassure them, and take them back and say good night, If they come out again, you repeat it and take them back. Later you don't say anything, just take them back....over and over. They will eventually start sleeping on their own. You have to be loving, relaxed, and consistent.Do not show them that you are upset or frustrated.

You are saying that they just started the past 2 week ago or so. Is there something that was very new, or different in their lives, or changes, day care or schools? Are you visiting or at a cottage? Changes could throw them off routine, and as far as the little one, it could be teething also. My 3rd, and the twins used to get to sleep by 3-4:00 a.m. when we would travel 5 hrs. to spend a few days at my folks home. That was tough. My 6 yr. old daughter had trouble sleeping at one of the Godparents home, while I was at my parents. She wanted to sleep over with their 2 daughter, but it was all new to her, and she couldn't fall asleep. She woke up with nightmares.

Anyways, whatever method you decide,I hope it works. Do watch The Nanny. It is unbelievable how it works on that show. Good Luck and Take Care. Big Hugs for your kids. Anya

Jennifer - posted on 07/14/2009

I am a mom of 5. If you don't have a set bed time that is very consistant, this late hour baby party will never end for you. YOU HAVE TO GET THEM ON A SCHEDULE!!!!!! It will be tough at first. Stick with it. if they keep getting out of bed, keep putting them back in. One night I had to put my daughter back in her bed 19 times. Don't get mean and angry, just simply walk them or carry them back to bed and DON"T LINGER THERE. say good night and leave the room.

Kathryn - posted on 07/14/2009

What do your kids do during the day , and how late do they sleep in?

Donna Kendall - posted on 07/14/2009

Mine won't half the time either. I was up until 3:08 PM last night with him. I finally put him in his crib and let him cry. It was killing me and I was worried he would wake my husband, but thank goodness, dad slept through the screaming and the baby finally went to sleep around 4:30 am. Slept until 12:30 pm today. They say to let them cry for a week and it will be broken. Going to do it again tonight but at a normal hour.

Ann - posted on 07/14/2009

I agree that routine is the key. It might take forever at first but it really helps kids to know what to expect and what is expected. Also, we have always done a bath before bed. Raising a persons body temperature and then having it come back to normal signals to the body to relax and get sleepy. With three kids it may be tough to start but I know it has been the key to sleep at our house. Also, once its bed time its understood that the lights are out and story time is over. No more cuddling, books or conversation. If they want to stay up in the dark with nothing to do thats their choice, but it gets old fast. All that said, we have been getting to bed late as well. The long summer days keep it light until 9:30pm so its been hard to get to bed at a decent hour. Good luck!!!

Kirsten - posted on 07/14/2009

Check out Super Nanny she has some great ways to get kids to sleep. Get a routine before bed time and then lay them down and leave them. The first time they get out of bed walk them back to their room say, "I love you, but it's bed time." and leave. The second time just say, "it's bed time." Every time after that just carry/walk them back to their beds without saying a word to them or hugging/cuddling them. It will probably take an hour or more the first night so make sure you have someone to support and encourage you through it. Good luck!

Linda - posted on 07/13/2009

I am a mother of seven a grandmother of twelve and a great grandmother of three.Kids adapt and ajust best with a regular routine. this will be harder on you than on them to set up and keep the routine on schedule and ongoing. no matter how tiered you are you need to stick with it. no rest until it is consistant.getting them ready with a regular routine snacck bath teeth story or favorite special song snuggle with some sweet dream talking about the days activities and what might come tommorrow with lots of yawns from you and then sleepy eyes and at last rest. yawns are very catchy

Crystal - posted on 07/13/2009

I am not an expert but if you are at your whits end check out www.cheekychops.ca I used Dawnn for sleep training with my son and it was the best thing I ever did.