help my daugthers get alone

Dericka - posted on 05/16/2009

my girls have their own rooms it simple things that each own but dont want the other to use or the computer even though they have their personal laptops sharing on the whole is a problem

Dericka - posted on 05/16/2009

thank you i think i am going to try that bible verse it may just work for me to

Dericka - posted on 05/16/2009

I think i was taking sides because i felt the older one should have known better but i agree if there is not blood i will not interfer and i do pray not as often as i should but i do talk to God cause i really want things to get better and thank u for your advice i am a younger mom so i can learn from your experiences

Stacey - posted on 05/15/2009

Whatever tactics you use try not to let their bad behavior go unpunished. Be consistent, it’s time consuming but I really think it’s the only way to stop it.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2009

I have 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls, ages 11,9,7,&5 that are constantly doing the same. My sister who homeschools her kids made a suggestion to me a few days ago. I tried it and it worked for me. 1 Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil ot insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. I explained to them what it meant and even had to make my oldest write it 5 times as a punishment before they really got it, but now they call it out to eachother when one of them forgets andinstead of the screams of anger we now hear the shouts for Jesus as they remeber they won't be blessed if they continue to fight with one another. LOL it is great and sure seems to keep th peacee more now a days. Good luck love and my prayers are with you.

Stacey - posted on 05/15/2009

I like this idea more then separating them

Vicki - posted on 05/15/2009

Make them share a bedroom anytime they fight and they can't separate again until they get along for a whole day.Also give them their own personal time alone to do something they love to do everyday and tell them that they can only have that time when they are getting along all day.I have four siblings and we're all two years apart.We get along great now but when we were younger, we had to share everything.It taught us how to coexist peacefully.Those were my mom's tactics and they worked for us...

Amanda - posted on 05/15/2009

My girls can really go at it at times too. I don't like to get in the middle of it, but when it get's really bad, I make them sit and tell eachother some good things about having a sister. I have also come up with some simple chores that involve them having to work together as a team. Even getting the entire family involved. I feel it makes them see that they need eachother. But good luck...I remember my sister's and I. YIKES.

Shelia - posted on 05/15/2009

sharing is a fact of life in a family, no matter the age difference. you share lots of things. and time with mom or dad is the biggest. with three kids it's hard to spread it around, especially when there is a baby to take care of. mine had to share space, there was no option. there were times when they each got the room to themself, me to themself, the tv to themself, ect. but that wasn't always possible. Each wanted undivided homework help each night and that couldn't always happen and it sometimes lead to fights. to be honest there were times i sat between the two, helping both with math or whatever while i sat in the middle breast feeding the baby! lol, so yes sharing is a reality in a lot of cases. and i agree, raising girls (especially teenagers) is NOT for sissies!

Marianne - posted on 05/15/2009

Just a question, and seriously no disrepect intended, but why do they have to share? a 12 year old and a 7 year old should have different interests and different things to be doing. enforce a "respect" rule - yes, sharing is part of respecting, but sometimes it might be better if they had certain things that they didn't have to share with each other, as well as room to get away from each other. some things that have to be shared can be time-allotted and use a timer - but age might be a factor or better behavior might get a reward for more time.. good luck, girls are hell to raise! LOL (I know, I was the oldest of 3 - my poor mother!)

Shelia - posted on 05/15/2009

My girls drove me nuts with their fighting, they are 20 months apart. It helped when i found things for them to do that they both enjoyed. i think a lot of it was fighting over attention, space, time, etc. try not to put them in situations where they have to compete for your attention, or help, etc. that does help. once our littest came along, it seemed like they had the attention of one more to fight over. so i let them take turns being helper for the 'big stuff' (or so they thought!), like helping me give him a bath, picking out his clothes, rocking him, etc. i also tried to get them involved in family 'stuff', things that affected us all like helping decide weekend plans, but the catch was they had to do it together peacefully or we wouldn't go to the pool or whatever. it's a balancing act really. i've seen some folks that make it look easy, never was for me, lol. good luck!

Anne - posted on 05/15/2009

Hi Dericka, Our daughters are 25(December 27, 2008) and 21(May 11, 2009) Our youngest was born our oldest loved her and they played together great from the time the youngest could sit up be her self, until the youngest was 8 until she was about 13 and wanted to start to fix her hair and wear makeup. NOW they are the best of friends. Our youngest goes to college in San Diego CA and our oldest is graduating from college on May 23 in Charlotte NC, even the distance in miles has not gotten in their way.
My biggest piece of advice I could give you is unless there are bones sticking our or blood spilled do not referee their fights. I would tell my girls I was their mom not their referee and if I stepped in both would lose. I often required them to tell the other 3 things they liked about the other. The outfit they were wearing, or any thing in their rooms unless it was an award the other had won did not count as one of the three. They also could not use the same three things. I did have to be careful because the youngest daughter would start the fight and then complain when the oldest was winning the fight. Also do not take sides in their fights. It will get better. If you are a mom that Prays, Prayer really does help. I hope this has helped.

Stacey - posted on 05/15/2009

have you treid a timmer?

Dericka - posted on 05/15/2009

sorry that was new baby

Dericka - posted on 05/15/2009

With a new bay they even fight over who time to hold him. who's time on the computer even though they each have there own laptops there is a favorite so thats a fight everything is a fight day in and day out

Stacey - posted on 05/15/2009

Wow, sibling rivalry is tough. My brother and I didn’t get along tell we were young adults.



Separate them when they can’t play nice and give them lots of attention and praise for being nice to each other. Make them talk through their problems as they arise. Most importantly, lead by example.



They do love each other but, don’t be too surprised if they can’t show it tell their older.

Heather - posted on 05/15/2009

I know. You just have to find something they both are into.

Dericka - posted on 05/15/2009

I will most certainly give it a try and yes please pray for me, the sreaming sometimes drives me mad

Natasha - posted on 05/15/2009

I had three sisters and we faught a lot...we were close in age but now that we are grown we get along much better. Good Luck hope things get better.

Heather - posted on 05/15/2009

I have that same problem. Tell them that they are all each other have so they need to find a way to get along. Try to set a side an hour of something they both enjoy doing together. See if they response to that. Or just make sure you set aside some time for them together, whether they like it or not. My oldest thinks that she is grown and the baby is a baby and dont need to be around her. But I had to let her know that she is still a child also. I'll keep you in my prayers, cause I know what you have to put up with.