help my son has turned evil at 2!!!

Jaclyn - posted on 03/25/2009

I would stick with the naughty chair. Consistency is key! Kids go through phases where it works and other times where nothing seems to work. Consistency consistency consistency!! I suppose they just feel like they have to test you to make sure that's still what you are going to do.
I myself will give a little swat on the hand or bottom when needed as well. And it helps to give them a choice. Explain things simple to him, but it really does help. You can't just say No... I said no... it helps to say NO, don't slam the cabinet door or whatever it is. (My hubby is bad at this, and it definitely helps get a better response when you are specific about your instructions).
Other than that, just remember that he is going through phases and frustrations of his own and try not to take it too personal. Be consistent and clear and this too shall pass!

Caroline - posted on 03/25/2009

Welcome to motherhood! To keep him from destroying you and the house, give him lots of positive things to do. Also, get him around other kids and make sure he spends time outside everyday (w/in reason). If you can channel all that energy into constructive play and outdoor play, it will help. The outdoor play also will wear him out in a less destructible environment and then he can have a nap!

Samantha - posted on 03/25/2009

My daughter is 2 in May, and she is already started her terrible 2's, She is not bad by anymeans she is just VERRY curious. One thing i have learned when raising young kids is pick your battles. For example she loves playing with our movies, It keeps her entertained for hours, it makes a huge mess but messes are easily cleaned up. When it comes to her and her sister, they fight like cats and dogs, i usually let them battle it out instead of getting involved, they learn how to settle a problem on their own that way, which usually makes them feel good about them selves and give them a sense of accomplisment. I really dont punish my kids unless they are doing something that could hurt someone else, or their behavior is unexceptable. They get time outs! i give them the 1,2,3 strikes your out...for example " Savannah please get off the table" If she keeps it up i say...."1" then pause, "2" pause, ok If mommy gets to 3 you go to time out, 9/10 times she listenes to me, i just let her be in controll of what will happen next and i also satyed incharge. You HAVE to always follow though with your threats or you will loose that controll, and the Kids wont care when you count because they no you wont follow though with it anyway. It worked for both my girls!!! Im confident it could work for anyone!!!

Sarah - posted on 03/24/2009

Ah, 2 year olds! My middle child was perfect until his second birthday (last month). Now, he is testing, pusing, etc. He also has a 4 year old brother to watch, so he has learned some really mature naughty tricks. He is a very verbal 2 year old, and I have found that sometimes engaging him in conversation helps him. This will work if your child has a lot of vocabulary.
I was staying at home with the kids from last fall until this past month (about 19-24 months of age for him) and I could see that the attitude came when he was bored. Toys didn't help - they were always there. He was just looking for something new to do, and found that mom responded with more attention (even if it was negative) when he did bad things. I tried time outs, but didn't have much luck. I heard the phrase "No, I don't WANNA be in time out!" about a dozen times, usually followed by him just getting up and wandering away from the time out spot.

One other thing that had some success - when I had to tell him (for example), "No, you may NOT play in the dishwasher!" I would follow it with, "What would you like to do instead? You pick." Always involved something WITH me, so took some dedication and time, but it seems to work...

Angela - posted on 03/24/2009

We are using a timer in conjunction with the naughty chair.  My son (2.5yrs) hates the chair and it almost kills him to wait til the timer goes off.  Once the timer goes off, he comes to us to explain why he was put there in the first place.

Rebeccah - posted on 03/24/2009

There is a video called "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" -- I highly recommend it. It is perfect for this age and helps deal with all the outbursts and outrageous behaviors that come with this age of seeking independence.

Amy - posted on 03/24/2009

Agree with a lot of what folks have already wrote.  Consistency is key.  And be firm.  Make sure he's not sick as often my 2 yr olds temper spikes when he's feeling ill.  Be confident and get a pair of ear plugs if necessary to wait calmy for a long temper tantrum to pass (my son's record is 1.25 hours of straight screaming :) )  I've found if I can withstand a week of terror with consitency and not giving in, it buys me about 4 or 5 weeks of really good behavior and then the cycle of testing begins again.  

Sometimes helping them to say what they are feeling - I'll ask my son if he's being rotten and cranky or if he's feeling mean (he's 2,5 yrs).  Or recently I've taught him to say sorry when he has that 'oh crap, I just smacked mom and I couldn't catch myself before I lashed out at her look on his face) so he can gain mercy if it's a first time offense and if he can get himself calmed down.  Also sometimes when he needs a physical outlet for irritation and frustration, I ask if he wants to hug me real tight, sometimes that helps release it.

Some odd techniques employed are calling in an outside authority to back me up (in public just point to someone say 'that lady said you need to be quiet, those are the rules'  or donald duck wants you to listen to mommy); offering my son's position to the dog - you don't want to go to sleep? okay, well then the dog will wear your pajamas and sleep in your bed.... go on your potty or whatever (this works if you have a compliant pet).

Just some thoughts.

Carly - posted on 03/24/2009

Yes my daughter is at the terrible 2 stage, It can get very tiring and frustrating at times. I use to say 'no' alot for her to stop what she is doing. which i found gererally doesn't work (for me) now igive her something constructive to do instead like i was doing the gardening and i let her sit beside me and help me pull out the weeds (in her case she mainly picked up the sand) but she loved to just be able to help me. and while cooking dinner i would give her a puzzle, drawing or something constructive to do. i keep some of her toys, puzzles, stacking blocks in a cupboard ready for when i am busy, i will get something out of the cupboard for her to play with which usually keeps her occupied. once she has finished i tell her to pack away whick she does and i put it away. and she decides what she wants to do next.
I don't think children are evil though. its just apart of growing up and being independant.

Cheri - posted on 03/24/2009

I have the exact same problem. My son turned 2 and I swear....he's psycho!! I have figured out some of what seems to work. It is obviously a control thing so I try to avoid a power struggle with tons of distraction. I try to intervene in behavior that I don't like before it escalates to something that I have to address outright. Like if he is climbing on the furniture I give him something else to do before he starts jumping on it or off of it or whatever. Like get all excited about some other activity and start doing it. He usually will get more interested in what I'm doing. Or I have a doll or stuffed animal start doing something and then have the doll ask my son to join. It usually works but takes a lot of time. Some days I just resort to yelling which doesn't really help but I'm human! Good luck, we are apparently not alone!!

Tamara - posted on 03/24/2009

He's not evil, he's just trying to express his desire for independence. Kate C. had things right when she suggested giving him small things to do himself.

Charlotte - posted on 03/24/2009

hiya! he's not evil, though i don't doubt you for saying so! MAJOR battle of wills,( his-early testosterone) against yours. Major bursts round 3,5,7,11 years. Stay firm to existing rules, whilst sympathing with his frustrations,boys need an 'outlet', usually physical. Conflicting patterns of discipline will hinder results. NO! needs to MEAN NO! ALL THE TIME. I an an NNEB and Mum of 3 kids, 2 girls,12 and 9. One Boy aged 5. They all 'get there'! XXXXX

Kalpita - posted on 03/24/2009

hey i knw hw it is ... its the terrible twos.. my son is 2 n 1mth.. we usually put him in another room with the lights on n gv him a time out.. he cries bt eventually realises tht throwing around n tantrums dnt really wrk.. n yes dnt gv in even once.. he wud cry make those cute n sad face bt hey hold on strongly.. all the best..

Leia - posted on 03/24/2009

my daughter turned evil on her 2nd b-day! it was like a light switch, she was the perfect child until she turned 2!!! she is 4 now and occasionally acts terrible, but she is a lot better than she used to be. the only advice i have is wait it out and stand your ground. DON'T GIVE IN!!!

User - posted on 03/24/2009

hey... i can understand your frustration! my son same age.. i thought there was something wrong with him.. so rang around... but my clinic sister gave me the best advice.. she rekons how far they push is all about personality.. as u would already know.. they testing you. She says the only thing is consistency.. so choose a punishment.. like the naughty chair.. and stick with it.. my son was the same.. i had a mat. and he wouldnt stay on it, so i got the porta cot out, and put it in the spare room, thats where he goes for time out. but i only do it when hes done somethng totally unacceptable. for the smaller things, ive just started walking away from him.. not saying a word.. seems to be helping. He seems to be getting slightly better but i think its harder with boys!! apparently they get a huge boost of testosterone at about the age of 2.. so maybe that explains it! who knows.. i know this pobably not helped alot.. but unfortunatley its just one of those things!! hang in there... even when u feel like dropping him at daycare and not going back!! if he not in daycare.. maybe put him in one or two days a week?? thats helped my son also..

take care!! xo

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2009

I'm going through the same thing with my daughter. She turns 2 on Thursday and she just will not listen to anything I say. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as well.

Kate CP - posted on 03/24/2009

Yes, kids love to do things on their own...what do you let him do? He's old enough to help you with simple tasks and do things by himself. Give him some "chores" to do: get a broom just his size and have him help you sweep, have him help you sort laundry or fold wash cloths. When they hit this age they want to be independent and do all the things that grown ups do. While they can't do everything they can still do a lot. Give him some structured things to do and you'll be surprised at how quickly his attitude can change.

Remember: kids are people too, just shorter. Lead by example, not by force.

Keneenina - posted on 03/24/2009

they all are evil at two i just gave out spankings for the wrong doings and hugs for the good just sleep with one eye open and pray