HELP PLEASE

Christian - posted on 10/10/2012 ( 49 moms have responded )

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Hello, my name is Christian. I have joined this website in hope of findin some help, you see my youngest daughter Emma was born 01/30/12. She was a month premature due to me having an anti k antigen while I was pregnant. Through out my whole pregnancy Emma was monitored because she was losing to much blood in her brain causeing her to go anemic, so on Jan 30th i gave birth to a 5lb 5oz baby through c-section. But she wasnt like a normal baby, she would eat, throw up, and even when she wasnt eating she would throw up. So we expected she had inheritd hirchsprungs dieseas from my husband, so we went to the drs, they told us she would be fine, we were just worrying to much. But an our later Emma started getting sick so much that she stopped breathing, they had to force tubes down her nore into her throat and then rush her down to the NICU, where there they still thought that hirchsprungs was out of the question. They decided that they were going to force aniema every 2 hours to get her to pass the 1st stool, the day I was discharged I went home to get some clothes together while my husband was at work so we could go back when he got off, but i got a phone call saying that the drs blew a hole between her anus and rectum with the aniemas tht my husband and i needed to come quick because it wasnt looking to good. They went in and closed u the hole, but it was to late, the hole leaked blood into her stomach causing an infection to spread through out her body, she went septic and had to be on meds for weeks to get rid of the infection. but 29 days later my baby girl came home, we were told to do special exercises with her due to her being pemature,so we went home doing all that we were told to do, took her to the dr for every cry, you seen she has hirchsprungs, a hypothirism, she has had siezers, 2 brain surgerys, 1 in which they put shunts in her brain and another where they put a tube in her brain. Now as of today e are currently fighting Divison Of Famiy Services to get OUR CHILDREN BACK. after the surgery in which they placed a tube in Emmas bain to drain fluid they sent her home, the nxt morning she wasnt acting right, she wouldnt move her left side of her body. So we took her to the er, they took a mri of Emmas brain, said the fluid didnt build back up and to go home, but we asked to look at her again because she still was moving the left side of her body,. The dr then took Emmas arm, said it was fine, got her to look an follow his finger around the room, then he stretched her leg out, pushed in and it popped, he said it felt as if it was dislocated and pushed again, my daughter screamed so loud that my dad heard her in the waiting room. The dr came back with discharge papers and noticed that Emmas leg was very swollen, he sent her to get a xray, later we found out Emmas femur bone was broken, they went against my wishes and put shunts in her brain, although i wanted a second opion, they hotline my husband and ifor shaken baby syndrome and they took Emma and my 5 year old Kiara. They took them back in May 2012, they told us we would have them back in a month,but we still dont have our girls back, my husband was arrested last month with 2 class A and 2 Class C felonies. And was told he is facing 2 ife sentences and two 7 year sentences, our case worker is rude, she ignors my calls, and she grants me permission to e present during Emmas surgery this month but not my husband (they just decided to day they dnt want the shunts inanymore) I dont know what to do, who to turn to, and I feel lost, I want my babies home, and I want to clear my husbands name. You see the drs say Emma will struggle alot with words and devloping and may be special but that doesnt matter,she is still MY PERFECT ANGEL. please, please help me. Thank You

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Bobbie - posted on 10/13/2012

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@Mari,

I am sorry but I don't agree with your assessment of her marriage and her stance with her husband. The system has taken so much from them, they shouldn't get to strip them of each others support and of their marriage vows for better or for worse. Without their children they are going through hell. Without each other they may not be able to fight alone to get what was wrongly taken from them.

Christi - posted on 10/14/2012

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I worked for CPS for over 6 years and finally quit because I totally did not agree how things were being done. Do your children have an advocate, an attorney to represent them? They should have one appointed through the court system. Also, if you would leave your husband it would make it look like you think that he is guilty. It may also help if you have another Doctor look at all of your child's medical records, the hospital and Doctor should give them to you, you may have to pay for the copies. Stay strong, it can be a long ordeal that they hope you give up on. Also seeing a counselor would not hurt, it may help you deal with some of the stress of everything and sometimes they can give you contacts for people to help you.

Renae - posted on 10/16/2012

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If you are telling the whole truth,and due to my own unbelievable nightmare with family services,Im banking that you are,then you need a really good attourney or law firm that handles family law as well as medical malpractice.Your family needs help and right now.After 6 months of your kids being with the state,the state usually moves to remove your parental rights.The system is an ugly machine that has no accountability or intention of doing you any favors,Thats the bad.Now the good...Find a probono attourney.All states have them.Call your bar association and request a list of attourneys that still need to fullfill their annual quota.Yes, this exsists.All attourneys take on so much probono cases per year.It will be daunting to say the least to get one to take this on.But it will happen.Do not give up and go in person to speak with an attourney.Harder to say no.Especially if you are being honest.Smells horrid of medical malpractice or at least neglagence.This is all my personal opinion as a mother who hopes you survive your nightmare better than I did,all because I didnt know I had rights,the law,much less what a statute of limitations was...You are in my prayers with your family.Be safe and god bless. Renae Griffin

Jeannie - posted on 10/16/2012

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As a child who had to deal with CPS a lot, they only need a complaint. They said I had to stay with my grandpa until they figured out if I was safe at home. They claimed my parents were sexually abusing me. I blossomed early (7 years old) and made up things to explain what was happening to me. I said my moms boobs are on me now, we both have h cups. I ment I was getting big boobs but someone took it as my mom was putting her boobs on me. They would not listen to my explanation saying I was lying to protect my mom. It was only after I had to pack a bag to leave my home that they talked to my parents. They didn't do anything for a couple of days because it was the weekend and I wasn't supposed to see my parents that weekend. Monday they said nothing was wrong and I didn't need to be out of my house. No apologies or anything. I was taken to court by an anonymous source who called CPS saying I had a mold problem in my house. The cop that came said there was not a problem and my kids were well cared for, but CPS still took me to court anyway. The judge dismissed the charges. The point is no, they don't need evidence to mess with people's lives!

I wish I had some suggestions for you, but I had to respond to a pp. CPS does serve a purpose if they use their power right and don't let that power go to their heads!

Janet - posted on 10/16/2012

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If you can somehow get this story to a newspaper or on local TV news then maybe you might get someone to help you. Since I am not versed in the other matters I just thought this avenue might be worth a try. Publicity can often shed light on the wrongs of our community. Good Luck.

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I am so sorry to hear about that. I just had a baby girl name Monica and she 7 months premature. She in the hospital right now and is having trouble breathing. All day she been giving less or more oxgen because she been going back and forth. She may have asmtha or however you spell it. Then I have my other girls London my step daughter who the oldest, Chloe 2nd oldest, Kendall 3rd oldest, Sophia 4th oldest, Piper 5th oldest, and now baby Monica. Its stressful having a baby who has issues and is premature. Sophia was 8 months premature and she just broke her ankle. I had 3 premature babies so i know how is. The best thing you can do is relax and try get your life on hold. I had a baby when I was 16 and loved her to death. Her name was Emily and I was a single mother. Emily was 7 months premature and she had cancer. She died at 2 years old and it hurt me so much. She was a sweet baby and a angel I swear. I din't think I could live after that. But I got my life together and done great things. I knew I coudln't give up. All you can do is pray and hope. But don't put your life on hold. Best thing to do is make it great and do whatever you can just to get your kids in your arms. Never give up is what i tell myself. If you need anything or need to talk message me because i'm here anytime!

[deleted account]

I am so sorry to hear about that. I just had a baby girl name Monica and she 7 months premature. She in the hospital right now and is having trouble breathing. All day she been giving less or more oxgen because she been going back and forth. She may have asmtha or however you spell it. Then I have my other girls London my step daughter who the oldest, Chloe 2nd oldest, Kendall 3rd oldest, Sophia 4th oldest, Piper 5th oldest, and now baby Monica. Its stressful having a baby who has issues and is premature. Sophia was 8 months premature and she just broke her ankle. I had 3 premature babies so i know how is. The best thing you can do is relax and try get your life on hold. I had a baby when I was 16 and loved her to death. Her name was Emily and I was a single mother. Emily was 7 months premature and she had cancer. She died at 2 years old and it hurt me so much. She was a sweet baby and a angel I swear. I din't think I could live after that. But I got my life together and done great things. I knew I coudln't give up. All you can do is pray and hope. But don't put your life on hold. Best thing to do is make it great and do whatever you can just to get your kids in your arms. Never give up is what i tell myself. If you need anything or need to talk message me because i'm here anytime!

Crystal - posted on 10/30/2012

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Btw, all it takes is 1 person with a chip on their shoulder to turn your life upside-down!! One neighbor can make a complaint and that same day your children are taken away with very little if any investigation.



People, vindictive hateful creatures use and abuse the CPS and their methods every day! Knowing all it takes is a phone call. God forbid the parents smoke a joint every Saturday after a long week and when the kids are in bed, they'd be accused as 'drug addicts' and painted to be horrible neglectful people when it could be the furthest thing from the truth.



People sure do frustrate me.....

Crystal - posted on 10/30/2012

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Felicia, you do understand that there are Workers in CPS who outright LIE against perfectly happy and capable parents BECAUSE THEY WERE WRONG! Many many workers abuse their positions and after removing children and realizing the error in their ways, instead of taking the high road and admitting their mistakes lie and do everything in their power to not only cover their asses and tracks but create a living hell for said families?!



You're naive if you believe any different. Have some empathy or keep out of the conversation, she's here asking for help, not looking for criticism, she's going through enough.

Felicia - posted on 10/30/2012

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ummmmm ok listen no kidding your saying that you understand her.....your kids were also taken from you....im sorry but im a mother of two kids and i never been involved with the cps....!!!!! and dont worrie you didnt intimadate me atall! im just calling it out how i see it.......oh and they wouldnt arrest her husban for no reason. .........

Crystal - posted on 10/28/2012

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No it's not right what they've done. I'm sure there are far more people having children for not only the wrong reasons but who haven't the love or commitment nevermind 'resources'. Life is a struggle for the majority, that's just how it is. You are doing the right thing, but with what you've said has been said TO YOU, man I really do hope you pick up a FEW recorders and get these comments on record!! People like that should NEVER hold positions they do! I understand it cannot be an easy position when they do encounter households and adults that outright abuse, mistreat and god forbid kill their own children, but what is happening to you is unjust!



Having a child born with disabilities is among the hardest, and god love you for your unconditional love and dedication! There are many people who would abort a child knowing it would be born with disabilities, and I'm not saying they're in the wrong either because I cannot begin to imagine the needs, not only monetary but a lifetime commitment to the 24/7 for many illnesses.



Again, I just hope and pray everything turns out the very best for you and your family, it will be a rough enough road ahead for you and your little angel.



I'm not a religious person, but I feel there is an angel for your little girl and your family.

Christian - posted on 10/28/2012

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Thanks again everyone, I wrote Dr phil, and plan to mail out letters every day to be heard. When we had Emma we were ready for another baby, but with her being sick and the insurance not paying for her colosmy bags we ended up short on money, we are both working jobs out at our local walmart and we have our bills paid up to date and we plan tk keep it that way, I just dont understand why they are doing this to us, I mean I thought you were innocent until proven guilty and they have treated us as if we were guilty from the start. our malpractice lawyer told us that they pick on the lower class families with mental disablied kids and its wrong, they once told me that I didnt have enough love for Emma because she was special and that my life would have been better is she wouldnt have made it this far, My daughter is my angel, and her differences are nothing to us. She is perfect in our eyes. They said she wouldnt be able to crawl, or talk. Well She started crawling 3 days ago, has gotton her first tooth and during our one hour vists once a week she will hold out her arms to my husband and scream "daddy" until he holds her. Emma is a mirical beyonde all medical reason she shouldnt have come this far yet she has, This is a very hard time in mine and my husbands life but we will make it through this God has never left our side. I just pray I get to have my babies home soon!

Bobbie - posted on 10/28/2012

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Once this is taken care of I hope your funds through the fight of malpractice put your family square on your feet where you will no longer need public assistance or government assistance again. It is with great judgement that these services are offered and the system is so flawed that those that plan to have a baby they can't afford should really be educated as to the true cost the government and state agencies getting involved. This isn't a point a finger comment, or one to make you feel on guard as to whether you were family planning or not when your children were born. It is only to state the sad fact that many don't realize the rough road ahead when they continue to be unprotected and have more than one child when they can't afford them. It is a comment of how all assistance even WIC comes with a huge price. (did you know that all aid given to your family becomes public record for all involved? Your children's name and social security numbers will become part of the record for the rest of their lives that they have already received a certain amount of aid in order to reach the new quota being set forth in government to cut people off when they have reached their limit of lifetime assistance. Even when your child is receiving free lunch is put into this quota record. The laws have slowly been changes to modify and correct aid of all kinds to deter pregnancy. The caseworker saying you were not allowed to have another child is correct but not delivered very tactfully. l Actually you are allowed to have as many children as you wish as long as you do not require any aid for them. And it isn't up to the government to continue to pay for "elective surgery" to no longer be able to have children. They already give free contraception. Educate yourself on how NOT be become pregnant. The info is out there for everyone it is simply ignored for the masses who wish to have unprotected sex because it feels better, isn't messy, can be done anywhere and anytime without planning or concern that they will devastate their family's finances.

I hope you are able to help at least one person with your story and your journey to make them think twice about family planning and unprotected sex when they are not financial prepared, regardless of how much they want a baby , their age, or how much they feel entitled to have as many kids as they want while getting aid of any kind.

Crystal - posted on 10/28/2012

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Hold on to that support and keep up the fight! Sounds as though you are doing everything right (whatever 'right' may be for such a horrendous experience). I wish you all the best, and just as an add, if I were you, I'd have your parents and anyone else that deals with the worker carry a tape recorder to catch her unprofessional and compliance 'slip-ups' on record!! It may help.

Jeannie - posted on 10/27/2012

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You have my continued thoughts and prayer! I hope things get better soon!! >>HUGS

Christian - posted on 10/27/2012

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Thank you everyone, here is a update on what all is going on now. Our criminal lawyer we have been seeing for my husband got a call from the prosacuter and she is handing over all the evidence in hope of it to bring my husband and I justice, we have set up appointments for cousoling and we are in the middle of malpractice, now the lawyers we have been working with said if we can push this lawsuit with the hospital that them settling will help drop all charges on my husband and get us the kids back and alot of money, although I dont want the money I will be giving it to my parents for all they are doing. My daughter Emma has surgery on the 30th of this month they will be removing her shunts from her brain and doing a reconnective on her intestines that are dead. I have been granted permission to be there at the hopital with surpervision but my husband can not, which is hard but we look at it this way Emma needs one of us there for her. We are doing all the things in our stipulation plan, and my dad even had to hotline our caseworker for alot of rude stunts and remarks, we had a meeting with her one day and out of the blue she tried to tell my father I am pregnant and that i cant have anymore kids, I went to my dr took a test wich came back negitive and asked to get my tubes tied which family service will not let me do, This is the worse thing that can ever happen to a family, and my heart breaks more and more each day but I know only the truth will set u free and that is why I contuine to stay by my hubands side,

Jennifer - posted on 10/20/2012

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I would suggest you find a Lawyer for Pro bono representation. All lawyers do pro bono. Maybe get public with this...it is outrageous what DCS does supposedly out of concern for the children, while other children are abused and die...and where was DCS? My granddaughter was taken by them. They had a guardian ad litem who believed from the get go my son was a child abuser. It was not until 3 years later and a massive debt for my son to get custody that she finally said she was wrong.

Angela - posted on 10/19/2012

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hey felicia f i know exactly what she is going through and if you dont, dont put your nose into it cuz just like you said you dont know the whole story ok. im sorry if im coming off to you like a bitch but i have had my children taken away from me for the things i was asked to do, so i know exactly where she is coming from.

Dawn - posted on 10/18/2012

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Oh my gosh! I was reading this thread and went to scroll down my screen with my finger and hit "funny" on a comment. It won't let me correct that. Just to make it clear, this is definitely NOT a laughing matter.



Anyways, this story doesn't make sense to me. My son went through a hard time when he was born too. He was at the Children's Hospital for 3 months after birth due to a defect he was born with.

I understand the whole point of them not allowing you a transfer to another hospital. Some hospitals offer more than others do. Keeping your daughter there was probably for the best.

Why they would charge you husband and say, "men are always the abusers", just doesn't make any sense to me. They can't arrest him unless they have proof of abuse. They can't even suspect him unless he has past records on abuse or was alone with the child at the time of suspected injury. The story just doesn't add up unless there is something I missed.

I will be glad to help you and share my opinion.



From what I do understand, your daughter has been through a lot. Sounds like the doctor may have been the one who injured her. The shunts that were placed in her brain could have caused the movement complications she had. My friend had a son who also needed a shunt. They said that there was a possibility of temporary complications.

Gladys - posted on 10/17/2012

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So sorry to hear what you are going thru. I will be praying for you and your entire family and please you too pray and have faith in GOD's name that this will all work out!!! and yes sue

the hospital, the drs for all the pain you and your family are going through!!!

Osho - posted on 10/17/2012

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well my dear i don't really understand why they arrest your hubby that aside your baby situation is very serious what really lead to health condition? do they trace it to be your hubby's fault? that is very sad. please do me a favor let me no why they arrest you husband throw more light on it so i can understand.i we continue to pray for your family the lord is strength

Pamela - posted on 10/16/2012

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Have you contacted the nearest Legal Aid office to get some legal representation? Sounds like the hospital has some responsibility in all of this and that because you didn't stand up for your rights at the time and refuse some of what was suggested even more problems were caused.



You didn't explain why the babies were taken or what the felonies were so it is difficult to give any feedback other than for you to IMMEDIATELY seek legal help.



You may also want to contact the minister of the nearest church to you and seek some prayer counseling. But DEFINITELY SEEK FREE LEGAL HELP. If there is no Legal Aid, contact your local bar association and ask them for any free legal services in your area.



The highest and best to you and your family. May your babies be returned to you as soon as possible, I pray so now!

Ronda - posted on 10/16/2012

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SEE A LAWYER!!! Preferably one that specializes in malpractice!! I will pray for you.

Ronda - posted on 10/16/2012

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SEE A LAWYER!!! Preferably one that specializes in malpractice!! I will pray for you.

Thora - posted on 10/16/2012

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Plus they could use the divorce as circumstantial evidence against your husband even if you refuse to testify. If you KNOW he is innocent, stand by him. You need each other right now.

Mari - posted on 10/16/2012

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You know I remember there was a news report a long time ago that was similiar to this. Long story short this lady had her kids taken away because she brought her baby to the doctor cause she said she heard a popping sound when she was playing with her baby and the baby would cry so much and she couldnt figure out why. Turned out that the baby had some kind of bone disease and her bones kept popping out of place. Check into that. This is such a horrible situation. Its so hard to give advice when you are dealing with the court systems. You cant trust anyone.

Crystal - posted on 10/16/2012

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I'm sorry but what they're saying really makes no sense. How is it your oldest has managed to go unscathed?!



As young as your little one is, and considering all the surgeries and medical follow up shes had I wouldn't be surprised if the doctors broke a bone or two while treating her.. .ESPECIALLY if she had to be anesthetized!!!!! Her bones are very soft yet and I guarantee you they're much more forceful with people, including babies when they're put under for surgeries than we WANT TO BELIEVE!!!



It sounds as though you should certainly follow through with a malpractice suite and DO NOT GIVE UP ON IT! They may be trying to cover their asses considering all the shortcomings and problems they themselves created and how close they came to killing your child! Misdiagnosis, dropping the ball, and medical 'errors' in a premi to boot, for shame!



I wish you all the best and I would say get everyone you know, everyone who knows your husband for 3 years or longer to write character statements for any courts to review. Have those done and have as man done as you can and by whomever you can! Follow-up and look into the media (ie Dr. Phil as mentioned) for support and attention in this matter.



You are not the only case I've seen of recent where CPS have gotten involved, not only dropped the ball but accursed parents of abuse that was so far from the truth, blatantly lied to cover their asses and/or try to prove their cases. I've seen CPS reps that were completely unprofessional and irrational, illogical and all around poor choices for the sensitivity of the job at hand.



Do not give up!! Demand ALL documentation from the hospital, from every doctors visit.. everything! Perhaps you guys can get a loan, sell some stuff, have your husbands employers or someone help in assisting with lawyers fees to get this ball rolling. Assuming you have a strong case of malpractice you may get away with less lawyers fees.



Again I wish you all the luck, please do not give up. More times than not CPS is the wrong place for children, especially when they have a loving home but have become the victims of aggressive and irrational/hateful workers.



Demand a new worker, demand a few workers have a 'meeting of the minds' with you, your parents, your husband and others. Demand demand demand! Write letters to you local papers, MAKE AS MUCH NOISE AS YOU CAN!!!

Felicia - posted on 10/16/2012

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ok i think for you to get your kids taken away from you there has to some reason.......and i dont know how you babys bones would break just like that thats not normal to me if doctores think that there was some sort of abus involved then im sorry but you probebly wont get your kids back till your pruven not guilty of those things! i dont think your telling the whole truth here and sorry but i dont belive that they would take your kids for no reason of your own!

Gracie - posted on 10/16/2012

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I have seen ppl who are desperate and have no where to go, on his show, its worth a shot.I don't know every detail of this story, but what i get out of it from what i hear w/o asking detailed questions is... your baby was sick and procedures were done w/o your consent, and your baby got worse and it was blamed on your husband for child abuse, he is now in jail your children have been taken away and you need help. http://drphil.com, ask Dr Phil- tab and send him your story.

Angela - posted on 10/15/2012

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hey Gracie P i believe you are absolutely right Christian needs to call DR PHIL what the drs did was completely wrong.

Angela - posted on 10/15/2012

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SUE SUE SUE THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO GO AGAINST YOUR WISHES WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR DAUGHTER YOU ARE HER MOTHER AND FROM THE WAY YOU SOUND A DAMN GOOD ONE AT THAT. YOU NEED TO SUE THE DAMN PANTS OFF OF THE HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTORS. Im sorry about all the capital words but reading that letter you wrote on here pissed me off also sorry for the language.

Gracie - posted on 10/15/2012

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Oh Christen, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through, Call Dr. Phil. I am Praying for you and your family.

User - posted on 10/14/2012

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I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this! You and your family will be in my prayers and hopefully things will be over soon and you will all be together as a family again! The adversary is working hard against families! With the prayers we all have for you, your family will prevail!

Delores - posted on 10/14/2012

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First I'd like to say I am so sorry to hear about what you and your family is going through. It seems like a lot of what you are going through is out of your hands. I just want to encourage you to trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5 says "TRUST In the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own under standing, but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path" I know it's hard for you and your husband to stand still and do nothing but if he's innocent you have nothing to worry about. And truth will prevail. Children are a blessing from the Lord and they need protection from the enemy be it dad, mom, or stranger. They are innocent, helpless, and pure. So if you believe in God, then lean on Him. He wont turn you away, He will represent you. Go to a faith based church and get with someone who will touch and agree with you for God to work in your favor and watch God change things. I will be waiting for your testimony. God bless you, He's your only hope now. And He's Able!

Sabrina - posted on 10/14/2012

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Oh my. I can't even image what you are going through right now. It seems that the Division of Family Services always is hard on the parents that are really trying and do nothing to the parents that really aren't trying. You really need a good lawyer. Someone who knows the laws and can really help you. I know that is not an easy task. But ask friends and family if they know one. It will cost money but what are you willing to do to save your girls and husband. I know how doctors are. We fought with ours for months to find out that our son needed heart surgery. Same as yours my son could have died and the doctors kept saying he will be fine. You really have speak up. Doctors don't know everything. You do have rights as a patient and don't hold back. I didn't and it probably saved my sons life. Find that lawyer. They are going to be able to help you through all of this. They know what needs to be done and can help you with the process. WISHING YOU ALL MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS!!!

Marty - posted on 10/13/2012

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Dear Christian,

I am extremely sorry that you are in this situation. I truly hope that you parents are still young in order to care for your children. Because here in Texas, we have sadly experience dishonestly in behalf of the agency of child protective service ( CPS). Be careful that they don't try to remove your parent rights. I don't mean to be heartless but CPS, not always has the child best interest at heart. Once the parents right are remove they can give out children up for adoption. A child is under CPS care no more than a year to a year a half, or even before that time is up, they can be placing them with different fosterparents. I hope that your parents can get permanent conservativeship of your children. Please let us know how your situation unfold. I can truly feel the pain that you are going through. But for every door that closes, there will be others that will open up with a positive results. I hope kind human being that know much of law can help you out. I will keep you and your love ones in my prayers. Just place everything in the hands of the Lord. He will send you his fighting angels to help you win the war. P.S. stand tall and stay strong and never give up. Children will always look for they parents and will want to find out the truth.

Christian - posted on 10/13/2012

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Thank you for all the help and prayers. And to answer a few questions, my husband does not do drugs, and we seeked legal advice from a lawyer and he said no matter what not to leave him due to the fact these charges he faces are a matter of how the rest of his life will end up. You see I know 100% my husband is innocent and we are going to be getting lie detector test done, we started a settelment with the drs and hem malpractice lawyer is going to do the test for us. We have made every court hearing together, and I know how to someone looking on m situation would think to choose their kids first, but I made a promise to my 5 yr old daughter to stay by her daddys side. We have been through drug tests, pych evaluations, and have made every meeting with dfs, we have bothgot better paying jobs and they just stared garnishing my paycheck for child support, but my husband and I still give my parents money for our daughters food, clothes, toys ect. And I pay my daughters lunch bills at school and help out still as much as we can. My dad was also there the day all of thishappened and he has said he will testify on my husbands behalf in court on November 5th. I am well prepared of how harsh this system is, and I dont not feel angry with dfs because I kow this is thier job, and all they want is a safe envorment for our children, but there is alot of things tat is not matching up with the hospial now, they are missing certain files that will help us get our kids back, and dfs refues's to talk wih my ob who noticed that i had an anti k antigen when I was pregnant, and she says it causes all the brain problems Emma was born with. Now only the 30th of this month they ae going to do Emmas reconnective surgery...AND take the shunts out of her brain. They said the shunts where 100% nessisary and would never be removed, my daughter has a high chance of gettinga infection with this surgery and servere risk for brain damage and they said it will be done anyway. I want my kids back on the right way, on the truth, I will not lie about my husband to get my kids back because I will not be able to live with that. I just wish they would notice the things we do with what paperwork is missin, I wish they would listen to my father, and treat my husband and I like humans. My 5 yr old just had to start counsoling because they had her believing she would go into fostercare, my life right now is bumpy and I believe God has a reason for all of this and the truth will set us free, just stressful because im not a very patient person.

Mari - posted on 10/13/2012

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Trust me I agree. I'm not saying its right by any means. But if the system won't help her. She has to work around it. I hate for anyone to be in this horrible situation.

Mari - posted on 10/13/2012

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Hi. First let me start be saying how sorry I am that this is happening to you and your family. Your babies don't deserve this. This has got to be one of the scariest situations to go through. I don't want to be straight to the point but if I'm not I will start crying and I won't be able to finish this. With that being said I know you are going through a lot. Thank God for your parents. You need to take a step back and realize what is going on. If I were in your shoes there would be no way my husband would still be living there guilty or not. If the choice was get rid of him and keep the babies, he would be gone. I would divorce him to get my babies back, I would worry about my babies first. If he was any kind of father he would step up and say this is what I have to do to keep my babies home. He could live with his parents or your parents. This doesnt mean it will be like that forever. Just until his stuff is taken care of. Sounds like he has a problem keeping his hands to himself. If he was charged with it that means that there was evidence right? You said, The two class As are for first degree assault, and the two class cs are for child endangerment right. The first degree assault was for what reason? Do you or your husband do drugs? You just never know what people are capable of doing when they take drugs. Ask him to take a lie detector test and wait and see how court plays out for him. You won't get your kids back until you divorce him and he is probably going to be in prison for a very long time (sorry). So your first priority should be your babies. If he gets cleared of everything you can get remarried and have your babies at home. But I would pay attention to your husbands court cases and see the evidence they have against him. If they sound legit then you should know what you have to do as a mother. What kind of advice are you getting from your family members? Im sorry Im not trying to be harsh but the legal system is harsh and you need to be prepared.

Cynthia - posted on 10/13/2012

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I am so sorry for what your family is going thru...i can offer lots of prayers and faith that your babies come home and truth be revealed with your husband...God Bless You and your lil angels In Jesus Name....

Bobbie - posted on 10/11/2012

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I see your point. You are requesting assistance as a couple. Is your husband going to court soon to clear up the criminal portion of the case? Seems that has to be dealt with before anything else can move forward to return the little ones.

Are you able to work to give your parents funds for your children? I ask because it will be better for your case if you are able to say that you and your husband still provide for them and send money to your parents.

Hopefully the trial for your husband's charges comes up soon and all that can be set aside.

Sadly, because you choose to stand by your husband the courts have no choice because of the charges. As soon as that barrier is torn down you should be able to get assistance with an advocacy group to gain your children back.

I will look to see what I can find.

Christian - posted on 10/11/2012

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I live in Missouri, and Thank you, I am beyonde thankful that my daughters are with my parents but the state told my parents they would pay them 900 for fostering, they only get a 50 dollar allowence to buy diapers. And thy are taking Emmas disibility money and keeping it for the case costs, so my dad who just retired from the army just had to go out and get a job, and my mom only works weekends. I just want my babies back, and all te lawyers or legal help i have called have turned me down

Bobbie - posted on 10/10/2012

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I am so sorry! I have seen unbelievable cases such as these on programs and so I do know that the medical profession can start a ball rolling with their own errors and ruin lives. You daughter has gone through so much and a malpractice suit is definitely called for. I cringe at the thought of it all. I hope that just knowing someone believes in you and your family helps a little.

Thank goodness they are with your parents. At least that is a saving grace to them in all this madness.

I can see why legal aid can't help but there should be some advocate group somewhere who may take your case to help with the fees charged by lawyers. What state do you live in? I will look up what I can to assist you.

Christian - posted on 10/10/2012

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sorry my spelling is a little out of wack, they keys on this key pad are only workin when ever they want so please excuse the errors

Christian - posted on 10/10/2012

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They said the shunts were live saving, but the last mri showed her brain was fine and that the fluid wasnt building up, and we asked for a transfer to a differnt hospital but they refused. Through out this invstiaion they said they pin pointed my husband because its always the males that hurt kids, but we were both present and he did nothing, my father was also with us the whole day. The two class As are for first degree assault, and the two class cs are for child endangerment. Both my husband and myself have highschool diplomas, and we took cpr classes in the nicu before the would release Emma, I am very thankful my babies got to go with my parents through out all of this, just confused. They did a interagation on us a few months ago and asked for me to divorcemy husband and let them record me saying i think my husband did it then i would have they girls back but i refused because I KNOW he DIDNT do it. So they took my rights to dr appointments away. They accused me of being pregnant at our vist last week so I went to my obgyn to get the test done, it was negative. And my obgyn said DFS has not informed her in what was going on, that the last she heard was Emma was born healthy and sent home when I got discharged. We have started a malpractice with the hospital for Emmas leg and te hole they blew and got a criminal lawyer for my husband but when I called legal aid for help they denied me because dfs was involved

Bobbie - posted on 10/10/2012

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I am so sorry to hear of your youngest daughters health issues. The charges on your husband of a grave concern. You say they took them then the next sentence you say they took them again in May. what happened between that time?The way the law works is they take the children when there is a question of abuse. They may have told you that you would get them back in a month but that was before the final findings of abuse required your husband to be charged. Once he was charged your children can not be returned to you because you live with him or there is concern that you would still permit the children to be harmed by allowing him around.

I don't know your education level or your parenting history. It may be very helpful if you reach out to available services to take classes such as Child First Aid and CPR as well as a parenting class for special needs children. In addition I would get counseling. If your husband or yourself have a job with insurance mental health visits are covered.

You need to know what is happening and why things arehappening medically. They couldn't just take her and put a shunt in her brain without consent, one of you signed unless it was a life saving surgery.

What exactly is your husband charged with? The class A and class C felonies don't tell me much.

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