Help, please? Having trouble toilet training my 3 yr old...

Kelly - posted on 04/28/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My son is three & we have been trying to train him since he was 18 months old. We didn't push it too much when he was younger (up until about 30 months) because we were told by numerous people that he would start to be interested when he was ready. We have even tried putting him in underwear so that when he wet himself he would realise that it wasn't nice but he didn't care... Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Debbie - posted on 05/01/2009

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he hun
The ping pong ball is a good idea but let him colour a face on it first makes it more fun for him.
I also found that my 3 boys would also not use a potty or the normal toilet so i brought a toilet seat that has steps on it (like a lil ladder up to toilet) they love it.
lastly try leaving his underwear off i found that my boys kept weeing in there pants i assume because they could feel them on there skin so assumed they were like nappies. leave them combo under trousers then when they need a wee the'll realise that there's nothing there to catch it.
hope this helps.
debz x

Nela - posted on 05/01/2009

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dont skip this summer,to teach ur kid to poop in the toilet...when it's hot and nice outside,he wont like the pampers on his butt,trust me...he'll do it few times in the pants.and some kids dont like potty,mine did'nt use it at all,she went to the toilet herself....best of luck...

Courtney - posted on 05/01/2009

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Don't worry it will happen when he wants it to. I know exactly what you are going through!!!My Mother and her sisters, which one of them dosen't even have kids, would always pester me about my son not being potty trained. They would say things like "Oh he must be autistic" or "When you were a baby you were potty trained bye 18 months!", "What is wrong with him?" I mean it got to the point to where what they were saying was hurtful and I wondered if it was ever going to really happen. I was like you we had litterally tried everything!!!Potty books and movies, a trainer toilet that sings when you go in it, special cartoon charecter underpants, rewarding him for attempting it, leaving him to sit in his messy pants, I mean you name it I tried it!!! None of it seemed to work!! My son would rather sit in a pile of poop than tell me that he wants his pants changed or go to the bathroom, he is just to busy and doesn't want to stop and take the time to go!
Then one day after I had taken my son out of the bath tub, I hadn't put his clothes on him yet, I might have been tending to my younger son, but I heard him tinkling in the potty!!!! He had just turned 4 years old when this happened! I was so excited! I started clapping and praising him. He was proud of himself! After that he immediately wanted me to put his pull up and clothes on him, but I decided to leave him naked through out the rest of the day and he then continued going in the potty all day long! I put a pull up on him at night, then for the next couple weeks I know this sounds silly but I just let him be naked and this is what ultimately potty trained my son. He no other choice but to go in the toilet. If I put underwear on him he would just pee in them. Sometimes he would even go hide in his room and empty out one of his toy boxes and pee in it. He got punished for doing that so he then relized well there is no where else to go to potty so he had to go to the toilet.After about two weeks I then started putting underwear on him and a shirt but no pants, because I put pants on him and he would have accidents because he couldn't make it in time with having to pull down his pants and underwear botth. So I just continued this and he is completely potty trained now at 4 and a half! I seriously was worried about him, but he finanlly did it when he was ready to. I guess I might have pushed it on him to hard and he was just not interested in the idea for a long time. He also has a younger brother who is two. I think this might have also contributed to him being a late potty trainer. He didn't want to grow up he wants to stay being a baby like his brother. Does your son have any younger siblings? Well I hope my little story helped some what. But I just wanted to let you know your son is not the only 3 year old out there who isn't potty trained. All children develop at their own different rates. So don't loose hope, it will happen one day when he decides he is ready. : )

Anne - posted on 05/01/2009

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I'm having the same problem with my three year old daughter. She seems to do better when she has regular underwear on because she feels wet and doesn't like the feeling. Her problem seems to be that she knows when she has to go, but it depends on whether or not she's in the middle of something and doesn't want to stop in order to use the toliet. I'm hoping there's a point where they just start taking toliet training more seriously and want to go there instead of in their underwear.

Heather - posted on 05/01/2009

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I am in the same situation. My son is three and we started introducing potty training at 2 1/2 and we are still working on it. I really wasn't ready then but the daycare was being very pushy about it. Lately, I just put him in underwear (I let him pick them out) when at home or sometimes I just let him run around without any pants on. He is more successful when he has no clothes on. Good luck!

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Pascale - posted on 06/14/2013

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Hi, having real troubles trying to teach my daughter to pee on the toilet. We are now in the kitchen no pants on her for nearly two weeks. If I ask her continuously every 2 hours or so then we go to the toilet and after much coersion she does pee, but the moment I leave her to her own devices she will hide or run away and pee herself. We tried to do a deal that if she pees herself instead of asking to go then she will spend time on the naughty step (5 mins) however it would seem that she would rather pee herself and then come and say can I spend some time on the naughty step ,what can I do please help me!

Courtney - posted on 05/01/2009

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I bought one of those things also and the seat that attachs to the toilet. It didn't work for us, again nothing worked. Other than the naked method. Seems like this method has worked for a few other also.

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Potty training is much easier when the child is young, they dont have to be interested. make sure you are consistant, he is well old enough to understand. Explain to him that he is a big boy and that diapers are for babies, skip the pull ups they are expensive and a waist of money. put him in big boy pants if you dont want a bunch of messes use plastic pants over the top. Take him to the potty every 45 minutes and sit him there, read a book, run the sink the water will help him pee and reading a book will help him relax so that its easier to go. sticker charts help, I give my son a sticker if he pees and a couple peanutbutter m &m's if he poops. We have been trying since he was 18months old not forcefull until about 5 months ago. He is now almost 2 1/2 and he is pretty much day trained sometimes he has an accident and we are starting night training, I am hoping by end of summer out of diapers all together. I would recomend diapers at nap and night time, but let him know he is a big boy and as soon as he wakes up diaper comes off and you take him to the potty. Stop drinks about an hour or 2 before bed.

Amy - posted on 04/30/2009

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I don't know if this helps but with my son...I took his diaper away, and started with no pants during the day and a diaper at night. My son had two accidents the first day and in a panic each time he ran for his potty. After that he went for the potty chair most of the time on his own. Diapers at night were fairly quickly eliminated once I worked out the time of night in which he needed to stop receiving beverages.

I know that having him run naked butt around the house may sound unpleasant and it doesn't work for everyone, but in this case it worked. Accidents were never really an issue. We just reassured him that he was still a good boy and that we knew it was an accident.

Sharyn - posted on 04/30/2009

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I have my son (2 and a half), who is up and down - some days are good, and others i just want to scream!!! I've heard buys are harder than girls to train... my daughter who is 16 months is already taking her nappy off and going... i think one thing that helped me with Ethan was a instant gratification treat!!! he gets 1 m&m for doing wees and 2 for poos in the toilet!!! It is helping!!!

Brandy - posted on 04/30/2009

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Does he go to daycare? If he does, alot of it has to do with daycare and if they are helping trying to train him there. My daycare lady did it for me. I just had 3 hours a night and first thing in the morning. We told our little boy that the clock said it was time and that we had to try. We also put gold fish crackers and told him to try to sink them in the potty. I hope this helps.

Ann - posted on 04/29/2009

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We have three kids and they were all potty trained no later than age two. With the the boys it was easy. They went with dad, drinking liquids late in the even was prohibited, and rewards were given even time they had dry diapers in the mornings as well as when they went to the bathroom. Ultimately I think what worked is that about 30 mins. after eating and drinking we would put them on the potty (training potty or toilet). It will work. For our daughter she just wanted to do what mommy did, she thought it made her a "big" girl. Good luck.

Susan - posted on 04/29/2009

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My son is 7 (8 this september) and we still have issues. Just be patient and understanding. He will go potty ok, but poop is a problem. He will hold it until I can see how big his tummy is and then I start him on pears EVERY day until he can hold it no longer. At the age of 5 he could barely make it through 2 hrs. of preschool without peeing his pants. Just try not to get too mad about it. It will happen.

Llinos - posted on 04/29/2009

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I found that my daughter was ready when she started hiding when she needed to do something, i think boys take a little longer than girls, but you cant really do anything different to what your doing now, every child is different, my daughter wouldnt even go on the potty, only toilet, where i have a child toilet seat on there, and a step so she can go up herself, made her more independant, she loves it. good luck.

Janet - posted on 04/28/2009

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I'm having the same problem with my little girl, but from my experience with my 2 boys I put raisins on the toilet and let them use it as a target (make a game of it) and then I give them M&M's as a reward. I hope this help

Katherine - posted on 04/28/2009

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Bribe him. Maybe it's wrong but in this one instance I think most would agree it's acceptable. We were in the same boat until I said "go potty on the potty for one whole week and you can get which ever new doll you want". I've never been a fan of bribery but guess what? That week we had ONE accident and it was in the car just before we ended an thirty minute trip so we excused that one. At weeks end we bought the doll and never looked back. Been doing great ever since. Good luck.

Janet - posted on 04/28/2009

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Hi, try using a ping pong ball in the toilet, use it as a target game, and it won't flush.... good luck

Cassie - posted on 04/28/2009

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We put Cheerios in the toilet and told our son to pee on them, it's fun and it got him really excited about toilet training!

Danielle - posted on 04/28/2009

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He will potty train when he's ready but maybe you could make it fun for him when he's pottying. Like putting froot loops in the toliet and him aiming at it. It's seem crazy but it helped me when I potty trained my son at the age.

Lacey - posted on 04/28/2009

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don't worry boys take longer i thought my son was going to get kicked out of preschool before he finally decided to go potty. He wont go to collage in diapers i promise. but do talk to the dr just to be sure there isn't a medical problem there are lots of different issues that can cause a kid not to beable to potty train that aren't thier fault. I say stick with underwear and plastic pants dont put him in absorbant training pants he wont feel anything or have any motivation to go with cloth training underwear and plastic pants he will eventually get uncomfortable and embarrassed into potty training. boys are harder though even grown men have no qualms about whipping it out and peeing almost anywhere and they are usually so goal focused in what they are doing they don't notcie being dirty. as far as wetting the bed asect of potty training a bed alarm from a pharmacy works wonders the same principal as after you get used to the alarm clock you start waking up before it goes off. the bed alarm teaches them to wake up before they wet the bed.

Pam - posted on 04/28/2009

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Our oldest son was totally trained before he was 18 mos. We were scared our second one was going to go to school with pull-ups! Pushing him is not going to help. All kids are different. Encourage him and help him by limiting his drinking at night if he wets the bed, taking to the bathroom or reminding him periodically through the day. If he has an accident, have him take care of it - changing himself, rising out the underwear, etc. If he goes a day or two without any accidents reward him with some small token. Patience, patience, patience - this too shall pass.

Julie - posted on 04/28/2009

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Honestly, it seems like you are doing the right thing. Keep encouraging him, rewarding him when goes in the potty and talking it over when he has an accident. One day, it will just click.

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