help...when a child feels abandonned...I need advice

Pauline - posted on 06/05/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

10

39

My ex husband and i have been divorced for over 6 years now. We have 3 children together ages 13,11 and almost 8. My ex has not been very good at keeping an ongoing relationship with his children. They get to see him approx. once a year and he calls maybe once or twice a month. He has another child from another relationship. He always has an excuse for not calling...health issues, work issues, family issues, money issues ect ect. My 11 year old son feels extremely abandonned, he cries a lot and sometimes gets angry with his dad. I have tried talking to his dad, I got more excuses, I even had his dad come and stay with us for a week,(trust me this was very acquard for me and my new husband, but there are some things you just do for your kids) he promised to commit to calling once a week and again has gone back to his old ways...My kids, especially my son cannot handle this roller coaster ride of emotions dealt to them by their dad...what do I say to my kids...what do I do? Please I need advice

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

1 Comment

View replies by

Kimi - posted on 06/05/2009

484

13

I would just tell them that you love them evey day and just be there for them.

I have seen this play out with my cousins and it is still going on.They know their father for the spinless lowlife he is but still want to be eccepted by him. It pointless even telling them why he's not worth the heart ache because it will be there reguardless.

Counceling may help them cope better but only if you can find a very good counceler, otherwise it will just be a waist of time and money. You should send him the bill for it because it's his fault and he needs to realise the damage he is doing to his son. Maybe you should get him to sign away his rights if he can't step up and be a dad, at least that would be closure for every one. He sounds like a piece of work.