Here is a vent. about playgroups!

Meghan - posted on 03/02/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Does anybody else find that going to play groups is A LOT like going back to highschool? I am a 23 year old single mom and I find a lot of "older" mom's offer me advise that I really don't need. If my son is upset about something they say "oh I don't know how you handle that" As if your kid doesn't have a melt down? They gave bananas for a snack yesterday and because he was consipated and hadn't pooped in a day I opted not to give him any-oh the looks I got! The main thing I can't handle is these woman talking gossip about other mom's (most of the time these mom's aren't even there to defend themselves!) I thought we where taking our kids to play and learn and sozialize..not for us to sit around and bash other parents and their kids!! I enjoy the time away from my son knowing that I am still there and he can go explore but sometimes I just want to leave the mom's and play with him (which quite frankly I can do at home without having to put on make-up) Does anyone else have this go on at their playgroups?

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Maggie - posted on 03/03/2010

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i tried the whole playgroup thing as well. i'm not the most social person so i thought it would be a good time to start trying, babies make good ice breakers. but i hate it. there is so much comparison and so much judgement. i'd rather have no friends than having myself and my child judged and compared.

Tracy - posted on 03/02/2010

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And that's why I don't do "play groups". I opt for hanging out with friends of mine with kids. :)

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15 Comments

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Lori - posted on 03/03/2010

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I went to a few playgroups, and this happened at them.I just started to go and play with the kids more than talking to the other parents there.

Natalie - posted on 03/03/2010

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Oh i hate women like that. That's why i only hang out with people who are honest and have better things to talk about than how other Moms don't do this and that right... so annoying.
I would leave that playgroup if i was in it .Too much drama.

[deleted account]

The other alternative is maybe look at setting up your own group with the mums that are like minded.... see what the general feeling is with the other mums... there is nothing wrong with making a group for you.. there maybe other mums in your town that would love to have an option.. Just a thought..

Meghan - posted on 03/03/2010

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I love all the advise. I have met a lot of really nice mom's at play group that we regularly play with when there is no group. I live in a small town and really this is the only group. I LOVE the director and so does my son. And this particular group is suposed to be shaping them for pre-school. I just don't feel right about taking him away from something he really enjoys because I am annoyed. Guess I will just have to bite my tonuge and the advise about following the doctors order was awesome! Oh and the make-up comment was half hearted, I really am the same way lol. I have yogurt on my shirt and snot on my shirt most days too! Thanks ladies

Jess - posted on 03/03/2010

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When I first had my daughter I looked around for a play group, but didn't find one I wanted to join... After about 5 months, I found one in my area for mothers under 25. I thought, perfect! ( in a little sing song voice of course) !!! We live in an expensive area where thea average age of first time mothers is like 35+ .... not 22 ! So I contacted them, and they were "starting up" and planned to call me when they were actually operational..... never heard back. I have given up ! I'm heading back to work now so I'm not going to bother. My daughter and I have fun here at home and she has a cousin and good play friend just a few weeks older than her... she gets plenty of socializing time. And now she goes to daycare too.... so no play group for us. But has anyone else noticed, some mothers here on COM still think they are in high school ! The nasty comments that get thrown around on here are just horendous some times !

Eleni - posted on 03/03/2010

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Anytime anyone said something I didn't agree with, I simply answered, "oh really, I'm following our pediatricians advice. But thanks anyway." Shuts them up every time... This worked exceptionally well with parents and in-laws.

Sneaky - posted on 03/03/2010

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I would never, ever put on make up to go to a playgroup :o) If there is that much pressure before I even arrive I know it will just be a big waste of my time and stress me out.

Note: No, I don't typically wear make up, I am usually grateful just to get out of the house in an outfit that doesn't have dribble, snot or food smeared on it . . . lol!

Jen - posted on 03/03/2010

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the playgroup i went to was like tht n one nan who was there was too busy bitching to the other moms sittingin the corner to look at the grandson who was pushing the babies over me and another mom was there saving all the babies before they got run over by a car or pushed over. i dont go no more i have a foster mom who is my god mother or so n she foster children so i take my son to play with her two kids which she fosters at the moment which are the same age and i go to my freinds house where her little boy is near the same age as my son.

Johnny - posted on 03/02/2010

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I agree with Carla. Find another playgroup! I've been to lots and I've never experienced anything like that. I enjoy them, so does my kid, and generally most of the other moms are pretty cool. Last Friday we went and for some odd reason, I was the only mom there out of about 12 who wasn't wearing rubber boots. I got teased and told to come back when I got some. I guess that is like high school, except no one was at all serious about it. Sounds like you need to find some more easy going, fun people. That sort of playgroup would be a total drag.

[deleted account]

maybe you need to look around for another playgroup.. the one i go to is easy going and really relaxed...the kids have a free run of the facility and choose what they want to do and we as parents follow them. For me though i tend not to see my kids unless they want food.

Abigail - posted on 03/02/2010

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I have been there and done that-it never changes. I have a 17 year old and when she was a baby-I was the young mom they all talked about...now I have a 7 month old and am the "older" mom they all talk about. I opt to hang out with my own friends that don't have babies so that A) they don't try and tell me what to do-ever B) to avoid talking to other moms that need attention or praise C) so that my friends chill with me wherever the baby and I want to go...the park, the museum, etc. As far as group play-i take the baby to group classes-there we are done with the session and don't need to socialize unless we want to.

Joanna - posted on 03/02/2010

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I do have problems in my playgroup, too. Not really to this extent... I live in a really nice area, and my husband and I are lucky in that we're young but were able to buy our own home in this nice area. Because of that though, I'm the youngest mom in my playgroup. Plus I have tattoos, sometimes crazy colored hair, etc... Some of the moms just won't talk to me. But I still take my daughter so she can play with the other kids. I just talk to the couple moms I enjoy talking to, or I just go play with her.

Lindz - posted on 03/02/2010

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yep it is alot like highschool again isnt it?? i just focus on my daughter and dont listen to any1 else.. it's all about her not them and their drama

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