Hey ladies, help me romance my husband

Jennifer - posted on 03/06/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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, my husband and I have three kids and the romance is gone. I need advice on how to get the romance/spark back into our marriage

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Amie - posted on 03/06/2009

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Date nights are good but their not the best. At least in mine and my hubby's opinion. =) Scheduling romance just doesn't always work and if you surprise him as my hubby said, it might not work anyway. He could be tired from work, worn out from a long week, or just not into it at that moment so it'd be all for moot. I hope you don't mind I asked my hubby about this either. We're a different couple though too. LOL! Our idea of romance is very very simple. We do go out on occasion but with 3 kids ourselves and one more on the way, money doesn't always allow for it. We like our time together alone and gramma and grampa do take the kids on occasion. For us though just time together is good enough. We still do things together we did when we first started dating, play video games together, watch movies, go for walks, cuddle together and talk, it doesn't always boil down to sex either. We're comfortable enough with each other though that while sex is great and we have it as often as we can there are other things we do to keep close. We hug & kiss everyday, he never leaves for work without both. It's in the simple little things we do for each other that just reaffirms our love for each other. Plus my hubby thinks spending that much on lingerie is insane, I love that part honestly LOL! I find the cost quite insane myself, especially for something that's just gonna end up on the floor anyway. haha. My birthday suit is more than enough he says... men are simple, it's women who try to push all the extras most times. LOL!!

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Tina - posted on 03/07/2009

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My husband and I went throught this as well.So now we hire a sitter and have DATE night twice a month.(our family lives 4 hrs away or we'd us them...) We go out for supper and have a few drinks,1 night by our selves and the next time with friends.You have to reconnect as friends and lovers( we do not talk about kids,work or house repairs while we are on date night,we have set rules for when we go out....I fix my hair and put on make up...he picks my clothes!!!)we are happily together now for 12 yrs so the works...for us ,you'll have to find your own groove.

good luck and I DO NOT want details....lol

Amie - posted on 03/07/2009

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I'm sorry if my post was depressing, it was my intention to show how another family with multiple children does it. I'm sure the other mom's who have given advice have healthy relationships with their hubby's too and gave the advice that works for them. Mine was not meant to make anyone feel bad. That is how we manage to keep each other happy and close. It's easy to drift apart and get focused on other things when raising children. Ours only works because we both committed to making sure we're not one of those couples. We see too many of our friends and family members getting divorced or splitting up.

Dawn - posted on 03/07/2009

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i spend 2 nights a week with my hubby jus being alone and watching films/tv and having a takeaway - i have 4 children too....i would also like some advice on what else we could do together in the house in the evening

Belinda - posted on 03/07/2009

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okay that last reponse was a little depressing. if you are asking to get romance back...um that means usually, that you don't want to hear how well someone else is doing. anywho, if you've let it slip away, you have to start somewhere. So as scheduling may not sound romantic, you have to change bad habbits by replacing them with new and better one's. my fiance' and i have been attending a relationship class every week and what we are finding is just as i stated. in order to quit bad habits you have to replace them with something or you end up going back to old habits. to do that you have to make yourself AWARE of what you're trying to do until it comes effortless.

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get the book Love Dare. Its awesome, I like it so much I gave my copy away to someone whose marriage was on the rocks. try to do things you would have done to win his heart. A clean house, supper on the table with fresh flowers and candle light and no kids. That will start the spark. get dressed up for no reason but for him. moms most of the time let ourselves go if you spruce up who knows. just a few ideas.

Linda - posted on 03/06/2009

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I like the idea of date night.but I firmly believe that every night can be date night if u try to get out of the rut of being exhausted  from the day....after work and getting the kids to bed...go change out of the flannel jammie pants and into a cute pair of boy shorts and tank...or a pretty night gown...light the candles set the mood ....watch a movie together and  do what comes natural..Romance doesnt have to be 1 whole night...although thats nice too and do reccommend getting out and having a romantic time as often as u can....but I definately like the idea of when the kids go to bed its our time together and i like to make the most of that.romance doesnt have to be scheduled :)

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I took a Strip class at my local wellness centre and I come home and show my hubby my new moves!!!

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Walk up behind him when he's getting out of the shower and give his bottom a little squeeze. Tell him how firm it is. I have to stroke my husband's ego and in the process it adds some spice for me from him!! Laughing is crucial! It releases endorphins to the brain. Learn some jokes or just be goofy. Have fun and be light-hearted. I do agree with the other women about the kids. You have to have a day or two a month to just be with yourselves. Good luck! Hey, if you try any of these things, let us know how it worked out for you!!

Brandi - posted on 03/06/2009

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Everyone will tell you that you need a date night,,, However We have found that 1 weekend ance a month is much better!! Give grandma the kids and go stay in a motel or make you home as resort like as possible.. Start by hiding all things children toys clothes you name it,,Shut bedroom doors.. make a nice dinner get new lingerie the whole 9 yards.. Plan all of this with out his knowledge and when he gets home from work on Friday surprise him and knock his socks off all at the same time

Belinda - posted on 03/06/2009

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first find out if he feels that way. (sometimes that's just how we feel) if he feels the same it will be easier to come up with a plan. schedule a routine date night every week with just you two and do whatever you want together even if it's just to sleep. sometimes trying to be romantic can be very unromantic. trust me I have four!

Amy - posted on 03/06/2009

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First of all, what does your husband like. Is he a sports guy? Does he like racing, like nascar? Buy tickets to one of his favorite sports then pick a restaurant of your choice for a nice dinner afterwards. Make sure that your kids are supervised by a trusting and loving person who can keep them for the night. Go home and put on something sexy and surprise him. This does not mean go purchase a slinky, little nighty, but maybe a cute little T-shirt and shorts that your husband really likes to see you in. Put in a romantic movie and have a little fun of your own. GOOD LUCK!

Teresa - posted on 03/06/2009

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my husband and i make sure we take at least 1 night a month to spend how we want without the kidlets. We have 4 and our time is precious. Last month we went for a nice dinner and a comedy club. (something different for us). Just going for a drive, movie, walk, anything that you are interested in or wanted to try and never did. We also make it a habit to have at least 1 overnight in a hotel. We can get alot of romance and great communication done in that night. Time and money well spent.

Sherri - posted on 03/06/2009

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Seriously pawn the kids off on Grandma (whoever) and go do something for yourselves. Something you liked to do when you were dating or before you had your kids. Don't forget you need time to be adults too!!!

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