Hi there i need some advice

Anna - posted on 01/18/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

17

0

5

i don't know what to do? Okay i have a dad that really getting on my nerves he wont listen to me when it comes to my kids. when i tell him not to give my kids candy are something sweet cause they haven't ate yet he just ignores me and does it anyway.he tells me you cant tell me what to do.And my mom doesn't like it either but doesn't do nothing about it. I'm living in their house for awhile until i could get back on myfeet. has anybody gone through this before.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Mardi - posted on 01/18/2013

151

0

51

I went through this on several levels over the years.

With my ex inlaws, I made it a rule, if I wasn't there, they could play grandparent to their hearts content and deal with the consequences, but if I was there, I was MUM and MUM rules. It took a few threats over the years, but they eventually got the hang of it.

As for my own parents, they would have the kids for several weeks over the summer break, which would involve me driving up and spending a few days before bringing them back.
Again, if I was out, they could play grandparents to their hearts content, but even under their roof, I was MUM and MUM is law, geez, my mum would have had a fit if I had played the same trick back at her. Over the years and with gentle reminders they did get the hang of it (it also ment I would get a bit of a break, so they could all run amok).

We had to live with my in laws for 3 months when we relocated closer to them and waiting on a property settlement, they still had their younger teens living at home, that was a nightmare and harsh words were spoken several times and things were even packed once to leave and end the marriage. Sometime it takes standing up for what you believe in and following through to get them to take notice.

How long are you expecting to be there, do you have other options available, time for a long chat and to lay down the law, if they cant agree, co-operate, then you may just need to find somewhere else until they get you mean business.......your the MUM.

Cecilia - posted on 01/18/2013

1,380

16

425

You know your dad probably did the same thing when you were little. He's stuck in his ways. you have to take into account it's a grandparent type of thing to do. Its complicated by you living there. If you didn't live there you wouldn't care as much, correct?

That being said try talking to him like an adult about your concerns. Tell him you feel like he is under-minding you as the parent and you get angry. make a deal with him to only give one piece of candy and you will let it slide.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

7 Comments

View replies by

Anna - posted on 01/19/2013

17

0

5

Thanks for your advice's i'll try that hopefully it well work for me. I was about to go crazy my dad could be a big pain in my butt. lol

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2013

18,920

9

3002

And to respond to his "i didn't let anybody tell me how to raise you's." then respond to him "well then don't tell me how to raise my children if you didn't let anyone tell you how to raise yours. I am the parent, so let me do my job, and one of those jobs and one of the most difficult and important jobs to make sure they are eating properly."

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/19/2013

18,920

9

3002

Yes. You just need to sit down with them and talk frankly about it with them. I would also recommend that they go to the next doctor visit with them, and have the doctor talk about nutrition to the whole family. Definitely address it, and if things don't change, find a way to move out. Their house their rules, your kids your rules.

Cecilia - posted on 01/19/2013

1,380

16

425

I wouldn't keep the kids away from him. If he was doing something that is harmful to them i would say go for it. He is just loving them without dealing with consequences. Let them have the grandparent/grandchild relationship. I do agree that leaving is probably for the best but leave on a good note and then in his house, let him run it how he wants. Like the one lady said, when she is there she is mama.. when she isn't, do what you want. Feel free to drop kids off and wave good-bye and let them do their thing.

Anna - posted on 01/19/2013

17

0

5

I already tried talking to him and how it makes me feel. He just starts rolling his eyes and says your not going to tell me what do with my grandchildren i didn't let anybody tell me how to raise you's.And i know its a grandparent thing to spoiled the kids rotten but i'm the one that deals with consequences.i probably have to get my own place soon cause he already made it loud and clear to me that he going to keep doing what he's doing.So I'm trying to keep my children away from him until he learns that I'm the parent not him.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms