hold me baby

Emily - posted on 02/13/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my daughter is almost 7 months

and is a hold me hold me baby

if i put her down she will only sit alone for about 5mins if that

how do i break her of it?

its gettin to the point i dnt want to hold her at all because i have to do it 24/7.

and i shouldnt be feeling that way.

any ideas on how to break her of it?

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Renae - posted on 02/14/2010

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You can start encouraging "independant play". A 7 months it will take a few weeks to see results.

Start by playing with your daughter on the floor for at least 10 minutes, then you stop playing and sit and watch her while she plays, you do not move. After a few minutes, start doing an activity you have waiting beside you (put it there beforehand obviously) like a cross word or folding laundry. While still sitting right by your daughter, allow her to play by herself while your attention shifts to your activity. Let her play by herself for as long as she is happy to do so (may be anywhere from 2 minutes to 20 minutes, depending on the baby). Continue doing this a few times a day for a few days until your daughter doesn't even notice when you switch your attention from her to the activity. You can change the activity to suit whatever it is you happen to need to do.

The next step is when you stop playing, shuffle a few feet away (shuffle on your bum, dont stand and walk or your daughter will cry thinking you are going away) and start your activity. Your daughter will be accepting of this change because the change is minor, she is already used to you sitting with her but not playing with her and nothing has changed but that you are a tiny bit further away.

After a few more days, move further away, a few more feet. Keep moving further away every few days until you are sitting at the entrance/exit of the room. Then the next step is to stand up, dont move further away, just stand. Then you actually leave the room, but only for a minute. Continue doing this several times every day and slowly increasing the time you are out of the room by a couple of minutes at a time.

At 7 months you can expect your baby to be happy to play independently for 20-40 minutes. Some naturally independent babies will play for an hour before they notice you are gone, but most babies can only do about 20-30 minutes. If you get to 20 minutes, be happy with that. This means that you can go off and do whatever you need to do for 20 minutes, then come back and be with your daughter for 10 minutes, then go away again. So you will be able to get things done.

Vicki - posted on 02/14/2010

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my daughter is only 3mos but is the exact same way. i would have to do everything holding her or else she would just cry. now i can put her down and she will be fine. she still wants to be held but is getting used to not always being in my arms. the only thing that worked was putting her down and letting her cry. it was hard to do but i had no choice since im going back to work soon she had to get used to sitting on her own.

Cristal - posted on 02/13/2010

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omg im going thru the same thing!! what i been doing is as soon as my son wants me to carry him i do and when hes calmed i put him right down and he started staying in his play pin a lil longer just keep trying to put her down she will get use to it sooner or later

Blackwood - posted on 02/13/2010

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Tina is totally right, you can still have her close to you to start, but then slowly make your way further. My son is 6 months old and there are times in the day, I can't get anything done, but he really likes his exersaucer, jolly jumper and sometimes swing. If I'm in the kitchen, I put him in his highchair and just talk too him, about anything and everything. Best of luck

Vixi - posted on 02/13/2010

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How about sitting on the floor with her and playing with her for a bit then gradually distract her and try leaving her, but once she realises, play peek aboo around the door, that way she knows you aren't too far away. Also, hug one of her toys/blankets and then leave it with her so she has your scent :D Hope it helps x

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Tina - posted on 02/13/2010

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My first daughter was that way, I had a hard time getting anything done because I was always holding her. I started to put her in the bouncy seat or in the swing right next to me as I was doing things so she could be close to me and could see me all the time. She complained about it at first, but she got used to it.

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