Home vs Public school...

Tina - posted on 12/21/2009

My children all went to public school but my daughters two, had a few years in a Christian school before my husband said that he really couldn't afford it much longer. My son never had the opportunity to go to a Christian school and wanted to be homeschooled. I didn't feel like I could have done him justice, and my husband would have been the better choice, but he didn't do it, not working in that capacity, but having the education to do so if he needed to . I didn't graduate from College though I had four years of College ed. No degree etc. But am thankful that my children are now grown, and are doing well. We had the blessing of learning that the public schools that my children did go to had good teachers, and one out of all of them actually visited my home to see what kind of home life her students had. I was so grateful for her visit. We did the best we could to get a Christian foundation laid at home, and encouraged at the Christian school for our daughters, but my son had to have a special English speaking assist in Early Childhood Ed. and the Christian school didn't offer that. But his teachers were all very nice inspite of the public education that he had. I know the fears of the Public Ed. are real, and the concerns there are real too. I found myself being able to participate in a group of Moms that were able to pray for their children and the group met once a week in a mom's home for an hr. to pray for their students, teachers, and principals. It is an International group, and many benifited from participation including the principals who were able to learn the value of Prayer! I wish I could give you the name of the group but maybe some of the other mom's who have children in school are able to share the name. It has left me for now. But I do hope that you will be able to make a wise choice.I have several friends who homeschooled their children and some had to make the decision to start them in Public Ed. simply because they didn't have the time to continue it's a great opportunity to do so if you can do it. Many blessings of wisdom be with you. T.C.

Jodi - posted on 12/16/2009

A few words: Angela, I agree with you, but I take it one step further. If your native language is english, LEARN IT!!! I don't think there is any excuse for anyone under the age of 10 to misuse their native tongue like that.

To whomever said something along the lines that they won't learn to handle peer pressure from gangs, drugs and what not...why would I want my child to even have to handle something like that! I would rather wait until they are old enough to make a decision of such importance than introduce it to them early so they get "used" to it!

I would also like to add that I began college pursuing a career in early childhood education, and this upcoming semester will be returning to finish that degree. While I won't be putting it to use in the public system, or anywhere other than my home I do feel that since I am raising my child I should have as much knowledge as I can get my hands on and provide a good example for her that college is important.

I can see both sides of this debate as I have stepped on both sides of the fence many, many times. In our district, everything from music, to art, drama and sports are being cut within the budget. Teachers are being let go and the classrooms are getting bigger. There have been 4 principles in 5 years! Sadly, when I was went there, some of the books were the same books MY mom used (with her name in the back and everything!), and are still being used today. I;m very concerned that the school is not up-to-date, they are not financially equipped to deal with growing student numbers, and offer almost no advancement options for smart children. There is a private school, it is Catholic, which doesn't bother me, but it is VERY expensive with little financial help available.

I do plan on homeschooling until at least 3rd grade. I feel that I could get the basics pounded into her strongly, taking the time SHE needs, not working on the curve of the class. I was lost in the system, I fell behind and was not given a chance to catch up. I was put into special education. My mom homeschooled me everynight and on the weekends, I caught up quickly with the individualized attention. It's after that 3rd grade age I'm on the fence about.

Just wanted to get you a little more of my story! Please, keep the feedback coming! Thanks!!!

Erica - posted on 12/16/2009

I think kids need the socializin' that public schools give, unless of course there is trouble in school or all the kids worry about is bein' w/ friends, etc.

Kate CP - posted on 12/16/2009

We do Montessori school. It's a private school with an awesome teaching system. It lets my daughter get the socialization she needs and craves but also allows her to learn at her own pace in a very productive and calm environment. You should look into it. :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori_...

Angela - posted on 12/16/2009

Ms. Titus, I want my kids to model my, "values and behavior rather than her peers," but I don't believe that homeschooling is the only way to accomplish this goal. I want my kids to think for themselves, not just think like me. I want them to critically analyze things, which I realize that I will have to encourage; school will NOT teach this attribute. Additionally, although homeschooling may encourage your daughter to do better and learn quicker, it is not a better choice for all kids. In the public school, my kids are exposed to kids with varying learning styles, personalities, faith, cultures, and, furthermore, psychological issues. They regularly interact with kids with ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and a variety of other issues. One of my children has autism. He benefits from being around other kids his own age. He has grown and learned many social behaviors that have helped him. I have also had parents tell me that being around my son has helped their "regular-ed" child grow as a person. So the growth/learning goes both ways.

And, once again, I will state that, in my opinion, people who homeschool should NOT make simple grammatical errors, like there/their/they're, or your/you're. My kids had these spelling words on the 1st and 2nd grade lists.

Carolynn - posted on 12/16/2009

Dear Jodi, this decision really is a dilemma. I started out teaching preschool (Montessori) when my own kids were little, and they went on to public school at grade 1. I then spent nearly 30 years teaching everything from grade 1 thru 8, general and special ed. The most important factor in your decision is the reason for considering it. If it's just due to school budget cuts, my advice would be to augment public education with your own enrichment, which you probably do anyway.

As an educator, EVERY home-schooled kid who transferred in to me over 25+ years was way behind and didn't have the "executive functioning" habits (keeping track of assignments, keeping attention focused, working well in group projects, etc.) But I also know of students who were homeschooled and have done very well in higher education and in life.

Other factors to consider are whether you have both the knowledge and the discipline to make daily progress with your child/student, whether you can compensate for lost social opportunities thru such things as arts activities or organized sports, and your access to curriculum guides and standards so as not to omit any of the basics.

I think that an interested and dedicated family member can provide support and enrichment far beyond what can be done in an overcrowded/understaffed public school setting. Are there any charter schools nearby? Good luck with this vital decision.

Carolynn Lancaster

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009

Hi - I homeschool my 10yo daughter. There are so many issues involved in making this decision that I can not go into them all here. I feel my daughter is more sociable, happier, calmer, and self-reliant than her public school friends. She is doing academic work at a 8-9th grade level, and she is doing it by choice. If you want to maintain a close relationshop with your child and if you would prefer her to model your values and behavior rather than her peers, homeschooling is the way to go.

Tracey - posted on 12/16/2009

I think I agree with the above poster, Ms. Perkins. I am a huge proponent of public schools simply because of the life lessons they provide. Sure, they may come across situations involving drugs or gangs or other choices they will have to make, but they will learn important lessons in how to deal with them. They will also be around people of all walks of life-- every race, religion, etc. Most people that "I" know that homeschool had miserable experiences in their own school life and therefore assume their own children will hate it without giving them a chance. I don't think a parent without a degree in proper childhood education is a good substitute for a teacher and real classroom experiences, whether they are related to a subject or a life lesson in how to get along in social situations.

Christie - posted on 12/16/2009

I hear Angela's concerns, and while I concur that it is a challenge for parents who are not well educated to home school, the statistics show that education of parents does not make the difference. What matters is the dedication of the parents (which is true in both public school and home school). You need to decide based upon what your priorities for your children are ~ we home school one of our three children, and will be pulling our youngest out next year as well. Our oldest has benefitted tremendously from the one on one time for learning and is gaining much more knowledge than she ever got in school, though she made decent grades (A's and B's) she was memorizing and not really learning. We realized this and started trying to push the school to have her tested or work with her ~ they wouldn't because her grades were good -just wanted her to focus more and try harder (we did lots of extra help at home each week). She has developed much better social skills and confidence, as well as been learning and growing with broader views and understanding. Our goal is for her to know how to learn anything and to be able to critically think, which is not being taught in public education. Our youngest will be home next year because she is accelrating past the classroom and loves to learn - we want to encourage that. Our middle child loves public school and is doing well, so we are fine with her staying there, but we do supplement at home.

That all being said, the socialization myths are just that, myths (unless your child never attends extracurricular activities or classes with others AND has no friends). Kids cannot learn proper socialization skills from other kids of the same age anyway; they need mixed ages to learn how to be considerate and helpful as well as kids. My middle school daughter (who is at home) is such a "typical tween" it makes me laugh, as are most of her home school and public school friends. The fallout from colleges has been either parents who really didn't teach much, or kids who never took timed tests and didn't have deadlines at home. The upside in colleges is often better ACT/SAT scores from home school students (they were one point higher this year nationally), more independence with learning (as opposed to being "spoon fed" as one professor put it), better manners and public interaction with teachers and students (blowing the social myth again), and better preparedness for rigorous academics versus memory work. I support both sides of the equation - it is a personal decision. I have been very happy with both ~ :-)

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009

Well, if you feel you can provide your children with good enough schooling then I don't see why you shouldn't. The one thing I strongly suggest is look to see if there is an organization in or near your community for families that home school, and talk to them. Also, if you do home school PLEASE find some outside activities where your children can interact with others, it is very important for them to have that.

Personally, my husband and I will not home school our children. We recently bought a house in a very nice community with some of the best public schools in our area. Granted they may not stay that way, but either way we know they won't be as bad as some in our area. I think that if your concerned about public schools you may consider seeing what types of things there cutting and try to provide those "actives" for your children. For example, sign them up for music or art classes in the community, or find a community sport they can join.

Angela - posted on 12/16/2009

When we were growing up, both my husband and I went to private schools. We anticipated that we would like wise send our kids to private school. We even discussed the benefits of homeschooling. We decided to send our kids to public school because we live in an area with a great school district. We still have many issues of which I take particular offense. Additionally, I know many people who homeschool. They love their kids the same way my husband and I love ours. However, I disagree with homeschooling for several reasons. First, the kids are not equipped to handle difficult peer situations. They are not equipped at handling a variety of differing opinions. Mostly, I believe that the kids benefit from not being "bubbled" in the family unit. They need to learn to learn and depend on others as well as their parents. Lastly, as a personal pet peeve, I detest when parents homeschool and then have poor grammar, whether in email, facebook, letters, or cards. When one is not able to differentiate the difference between "your" and "you're", one should probably not be the primary educator. That said, I detest when teachers make similar errors. I realize it is a pet peeve. :)

Carolyn - posted on 12/16/2009

My son is 20. I sent him to public school early on, and what a terrible mistake. I'm not saying all public schools do this, but the one he went to had half the kids (I am not exaggerating at all) on Ritalin. Mostly the boys and a few of the girls. See, the schools at that time (and maybe even now, I don't know) got a kickback for all their "special needs" kids, so they would encourage parents to visit their pet psychologist and psychiatrist, get that ADHD diagnosis and put the kids on Ritalin so they'd get more money. I refused, so they tried to bribe us with the GATE program, saying he was a shoo-in if only we'd put him on "the program." I still refused, and when his scores came in at the 99th percentile to the shock of his teacher who should have been paying attention, I started to consider homeschooling. The day his third grade teacher took away the copy of Treasure Island that had been his grandfather's and would not give it back (because it was not "age appropriate" or some such) and made him read some Judi Blume BS called "Superfudge" instead which totally turned him off of reading was the day I said enough is enough, and at the end of that year, we started homeschooling. More precisely, unschooling, letting him direct his own learning with his own curiosity. My son went on to be a professional stage actor during his teen years and rediscovered his love of literature, thankfully.

He is in college now, and he's at the top of his class studying criminal justice, which has been his passion since he was a small boy. His education is very much deeper than his classmates in almost every subject, and he approaches his studies with a seriousness and self-discipline that the other students have trouble understanding while they goof off in the back of the class.

When these kids in his college (who mostly graduated from public high school) spell "admissible" as "immissable" and can't tell the difference between their, there and they're, and when they compose sentences with double negatives and write "no wat m sayin," and "like" into their sentences... yeah, you bet I'm glad I homeschooled.

Helen - posted on 12/16/2009

Im a homeschooling mum of x3 boys. All I can say is that I feel it is the best decision ive made. I was schooled nornally but have seen changes in the schooling system and how they are taking parenting away from parents and given it to the teachers. Of course there are pros and cons to homeschooling.. it takes alot of dedication and if you are married requires both partners to be as involved as possible. The main homeschooler will not be able to go to work so you need to check practically can you do it and you need to make a BIG effort to make sure your child is very well socialised. I myself am following the National curriculum and my boys are involved in x 3 clubs during the week which involve swimming, tennis and drama and x1 homeschooling group per week to meet with all there friends and I am working together with another homeschooling family so they can learn together on one day.. busy busy busy but if your willing to put the effort in its worth it. My boys are ahaed of any schooling they would have in mainstream schools due to a 1:3 ratio rather than a 1:30... if they were sent to school now they would only get pulled back. Im not sure your location but mosy areas in England have a great homeschooling network bigger than people realise and for more advice go to http://www.heas.org.uk who will give you any details.... what ever you decide to do I hope you are successful in what you do... being a parent is not always easy (-: Take care

Iris - posted on 12/16/2009

All my children went to public school, the oldest one just graduated from college in 3 years. But, and it is with capital letters BUT, at home we taught them concepts, ideas, even facts that were not taught at school. Most of them related to history, ethics, social problems that are part of our daily life. The advantage of public schools are that children are with "people" their own age, they learn how to socialize within their group age. Regarding homeschooling, my experience as a college professor, students are better prepared when it comes to most of the academic disciplines. They are more dedicated, and usually openminded regarding other cultures and peoples. How I said, it does not matter, you as a parent need to do a big part with your child's education,regardless in public or private school or homeschooling. Good luck.