how can i be a single mom

Jean - posted on 04/18/2010 ( 202 moms have responded )

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my son's dad ran out on us 2 weeks ago and i dont know what to do

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Kathy - posted on 04/19/2010

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Take a deep breath. You are a strong woman. You will be fine. Find a job if you don't have one already. Make up a budget so you know what bills are getting paid when and how much money you have left for groceries. If you can try to get assistance for food and formula. and daycare. Take time to take care of yourself. Enjoy your son. Don't forget to file custody and child support papers right away! Protect yourself and your son. Time to show the idiot what a tough, smart, wonderful woman he walked out on!

Andrea - posted on 04/24/2010

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Have faith in yourself that you will be able to raise your beautiful baby alone. I can't say that it wont be hard, but the father sounds like he wouldn't have been much help anyway with him walking out on you and your child. Keep your chin up, look for support groups, mommy groups and lean on those that are close to you. Hang in there and remember that you can do it. Enjoy your sweet baby and cherish each moment you have with him. My thoughts and prayers are with you. :)

[deleted account]

Jean, all you can do is take it day by day. I've been a single mom since I was 6 months pregnant and it was a choice to be single. I had to leave. Although I regretted it for years, what I've found is that time heals all wounds. It's been 8 years and I never thought I'd make it this far. Do your best to be the best mom you can be to your son, father or no father. Find resources in your community if you don't have family to help. There are tons of us single parents with the same fears and frusterations you have. Just know that you are not alone and you will make it through, somehow, someway. I know that seems kinda dreamy, especially since it's only been 2 weeks for you but sister, the sun will rise again and so will you. Stay strong! You CAN do this!

Heather - posted on 04/24/2010

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when my kids were 2 & 7 I left my husband, you know it must have been a bad situation to pull a stunt like that. The transition of being a single mom and coping and working was horribly hard and took months to over come, bottom line is, I did over come it and so shall you. I life was at a stand still, I could barely function, much less nurture my girls. I was a robot, get up, work, home, cook. Well while I idn't have many friends and no family while I was married, I gained many when I left him. People will step up to help and take the help. You are netering a new phase in your life and all changes need adustment periods. You shall get the swing of new routines and eventually you may even be happy that you got this opportunity to do everything just the way you wanted it to be. I love the idea that I raised my daughters.

Sonia - posted on 04/24/2010

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Hi jean I'm also a soon to be single mother. you might want to take a look at this website "singlemotherhelp.org". It seem to concentrate on helping single mothers with just about everything imaginable. Good luck hold strong and remember to take it one step, moment, minute, and day at a time. You will get through this we both will. Just know that the day will come when they will go through a harder and more painful time in their life, as soon as they realized they single handed threw away everything that ever really mattered in life. As hard as it is stop feeling sad, scared, and sorry for yourself today, he is not worth it. Pull yourself together get mad, and use that to work on proving to him the BIG mistake he made by leaving you and your baby and how he is not even worth looking back.

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Holly - posted on 04/24/2010

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I wont lie to you. It will be hard at times. Sometimes you will feel like you cant go any further but just take it one day at a time. Try going to your nearest Child Services Department. They may be able to help you with daycare expenses and tell you of any other programs to help you. I have family up there near Wisconsin Rapids and Green Bay. I wish you all the luck. Hopefully you have friends for support that can give you positive reassurance.

Lucille - posted on 04/24/2010

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Take the high road, never demonize him to your son, just love your son and reach out to friends and families to help with daycare, babysitting, sick days etc so you can get out to work and earn a living to support you both. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Dark days there may be but keep your faith and be hopeful that love will sustain you in your hour of need. Remember that his dad may step back into his life so you don't want to be the one that created negative memories for your son. He will come to his own conclusions as he gets older. Don't fuel the fire of negativity. Good luck from someone who went through it all!

Jessica - posted on 04/24/2010

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Pray and ask God to take the lead, it may seem scarey at first take a step out on Faith. I am a single mother of 4 my kids father did not leave me I left him. When we met I had one child during those 9yrs we had twins and then my youngest. He was very possesive and angry all the time, and I got tired of his bull and asked God to lead my road, since then I have started my on webstore @ www.mommiessuperstore.com , went back to school and my kids seem alot happier w/o all the arguing and fighting, thier grades have picked up alot this is the happiest i have been in a long time. Trust everything will be fine.

Maribel - posted on 04/24/2010

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Having that happen is always the hardest thing to go through, but sometimes you have to look @ it as a blessing...right now your probably devestatedand unsure where to go from here,but you must make a plan for that wonderful baby and you..he is your strength and your reason for moving on in life..if the father wants to be a part of that babies life great, but if not don't procracinate and file child support documents..lean on your family for support if not available your friends can help you...someone who loves you will be there to give you strength and guidance..also trust in the lord he knows you better than you know yourself..he will guide you if you let him into your life...and if you still feel unsure I will be there for you, I don't know you but I have been in your shoes and know exactly how you feel, you need strength I am your strength you need a shoulder to cry I am that shoulder..I have lived wit this motto for many yrs..GOD DOES THINGS FOR A REASON HE HAS SOMETHING BETTER FOR YOU IN THE NEXT DOOR JUST HAVE FAITH IN HIM...TAKE CARE MY DEAR I AM HERE FOR YOU IF YOU NEED AND WANT..BLESSINGS AND STRENGTH FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY..

Karen - posted on 04/24/2010

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Jean, hang in there God has a better plan. I know it's tough, you can get through this one hour at a time.

Misti - posted on 04/24/2010

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Jean.

My daughter dad walked out the day before she was born (Jan 26, 2010 - 6 wks early from stress - in NICU for 1mth)
Right now I focus on each day and getting threw it. Pray keeps me going. When i come home from work, I know i have to put everything behind me and focus on being great mom for my daughter. You have to thankful for smalll stuff and know the good Lord will not give you morre than you can handle. I am KNOW how hard it is, Please feel free to contact me!

Kayla - posted on 04/24/2010

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There is nothing wrong with being a single mom, I have been a single mom most of my two daughters lives. The first thing you need to do is pray for strength and prosperity. There will be hard times but parenthood is not easy. Make sure your self esteem is in a healthy position do not forget your me time. Your son is a very important part to your strength when all else fails focus everything around him to keep yourself busy, eventually you will be over the dad situation and moving on with your life.

Melissa - posted on 04/24/2010

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I'm sorry to hear this. I've been a single mom for many many years. I'm sure you will be fine. Most women have that mom instinct. Definitely file for child support. If he is not going to take care of your child with you then he can at least help support that way. If you need child care while you work then I'm sure there should be some type of county assistance like there is here in Ohio. Plus you have all of us here to help you with all of the thoughtful responses.

Lori - posted on 04/24/2010

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I am very sorry to hear that. I have been there but I had my parents to help me. I would recommend looking into Mary Kay as a business opportunity to help with money as well as support for you. This is an amazing company for financial freedom as well as friendship. I have to say that it saved my marriage just from the motivation and encouragement you get. If you would like more information let me know and I can send it to you as well as find a group in your area. They have amazing support. Feel free to e-mail me lnivens@marykay.com and I can call you so you won't have to pay for the call. God Bless you and I know you can do it!!! Look at that baby every morning and go for him! He is a special gift.

Erica - posted on 04/24/2010

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First of all, Congratulations on your beautiful baby. May the Lord keep you and your baby in His grace. Ok. With that being said...Here is my $5 worth of advice. I am a single mother of two beautiful children. My oldest is 13 and her father walked out the day I told him i was pregnant. It hurt so much. Why wouldn't he want to be part of this beautiful little girl's life. I remember crying the whole first trimester of the pregnancy. While i had family in my city, it's not the same as having the help of the person who helped you create the issue. It took me a long time, but what i had to realize that I was the only one my daughter had in this world that was going to care for her and love her unconditionally. I fought with my baby daddy about his participation, but after so many angry words and hurt feelings, that got real stale. So I stopped. As a mother, no one will do for your children the way that you would anyways. I made the decision when my daughter turned 2, that if he wasnt going to be an active partner to help raise her then he wasnt worth my time or effort. I let him know that if he ever wanted to see her he was more than welcome, but on my terms. Otherwise, leave us alone. And he did. It was hard, but it made me the strongest woman i could be. I had to learn to depend on no one but myself, and while that may sound sad and pathetic, I can honestly say that no one got me to the point that i am but me. My 13 yr old is on the honor roll, participates in the City Chorus. She lives a full life, even though she didn't have her father there. There was the worry of her coming to me one day asking me about her father, and it did happen. I told her who he was and where he lived(that i knew of at the time) and when she asked why he never came to see her, instead of bashing him because he is a piece of sh*t, I just told her that I don't know. Some people cannot handle the responsibility of children. Then I had to reassure her that she would always have my love and support no matter what. It is hard being a single parent. There will be days when you cry yourself to sleep, because the situation is not fair to you or your child. But, I can guarantee to you that at the end of the day, you will be happy. Hopefully, he will get his head out of his a** and do what he is supposed to do. But until that day comes...move on. Your baby is going to need you to be strong, mentally and physically. Don't let him deter you from taking care of your child. Enjoy watching your baby grow...seeing his First's. And teach him to be a better man than his father. I could go on and on...but instead i will leave you with this thought. It's more than likely not your fault that your son's father made the decision that he made. Don't give him the satisfaction of letting you think that. Take care of that beautiful boy and be happy. Keeping you in my prayers. Erica.

Monica - posted on 04/24/2010

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I am sorry to hear that. I am also a single mom of two boys, and even though you may think it will be impossible to raise a child by yourself, you will soon realize that you really can do it and that everything is going to be ok. Don't forget to ask (legally not verbally) for child support, because you will need that. Anyway, you probably are better off this ridiculous man who ran out this precious baby. Good luck!

Tammy - posted on 04/24/2010

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Take it one day at a time. I have 3 boys and their father walked out on us over a year ago. It was hard at first, especially since I don't have family or many friends in the area, but we have gotten through it and the boys and I are stronger now.

Martha - posted on 04/24/2010

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Reach out to friends and family. For what ever reason he left, and I am sure he gave you some excuse for his actions, understand that you and your child are not at fault for his immature actions. Not knowing the whole situation it is hard to give advise. If you can afford or have insurance seek out counseling, it will help you to cope with the new aspect of your life. If not then talk with your parents, other family; in case yours is gone like mine, or closest friends. Remember you are first and foremost a mother. You have to stay strong for your child. Your husband has walked out on the best thing that will ever happen to him. He will live to regret his decision. Maybe he will want to reconcile, again counseling will help you to work that out as well. Best of luck from one single mom to another.

Maree - posted on 04/24/2010

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Be strong accept any help offered and get through one day at a time....Hopefully you have family or friends close by that can help you... It will get easier as times goes by but you just need to get through each day one step at a time... Make time for yourself you need to be a little selfish here because you will be a better mom for it.... I have no person experience myself other than watching my sister and friends go through similar circumstances....I'm sure you are going to be a great mum have a little confidence the payoff is the best you will ever experience. Children are a blessing the absolute worst experience of your life but also the absolute best experience of your life and once you have them you would never change a thing.... You can be mad as hell at them one minute and they go and do something to melt your heart..Enjoy every moment be strong you can do this!!!!!

Julie - posted on 04/24/2010

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Has he come back yet? They normally do. Mine left when my boys were 3 snd 1. Couldn't handle being a dad I suppose. Also the fact that he decided to have a girlfriend while being a husband was not on my schedule. My boys are 13 and 11 now. I have had a hard long struggle but they have grown up to be fine boys. He comes in and out of their lives. I don't like the inconsistency but I figure they would like to know their father. Personally anyone who can do that is a complete LOSER in my eyes. Stay strong and focused. One day you will see that he was not the one for you. It's bumpy road and you will often say when will it get better. It will ! I promise.

Phyllis - posted on 04/24/2010

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first you have to think of that lil boy, he needs you now more then any thing else. Have Faith in yourself and follw your Heart. One thing I was taught from my parents and Gramma's "God wont give you a problem, without walking you thru it."

Just believe in yourself and have Faith.It probably was for the best any way.

Lea-anne - posted on 04/24/2010

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u are strong then he made u think i did it and so can u find family close friends even if they where his friends they might like u better u can do this your son will grow up fine just dont fine a new man yet took me 2years no dates know yourself first.

T - posted on 04/24/2010

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Stay strong, you can do this. I was a single mom for 4 years when my child was a baby and I know how hard it is; still, strength and the desire to take good care of your child will win out. God bless you!

Lonnie - posted on 04/24/2010

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That is horrible, Jean! I still am married and cannot imagine how things would be without the help of my husband. However, in your situation I must say you are a saint for taking on children, work and life without a husband in your life. Things will work out fo rthe better. If he left then he wasn't worth the effort. All I can say is have faith that things will be hard but you can do it! Please feel free to email me. Do you have any friends or family that can help out? If oyu don't then I know you can get help in other venues, such as, the local church or through this group and I am sure there are other options that you will find.

Lonnie

Carrie - posted on 04/24/2010

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I am a single mother since the beginning and my girls are 7 and 10. It has been a struggle but knowing that my girls are going to grow up and see that I took care of them even with obstacles. I struggle through and don't ask for a lot of help because I believe that it makes me a failure. I want you to know that this may not be the best way to handle the situation, but my girls are going to grow up and be strong, independent women. Take it day by day and do as much as you can. Your son will grow up and have respect for you and that alone will be all you need to get through. I pray a lot also, just for the strength to make it through with a little sense left.

Betty - posted on 04/24/2010

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I'm sorry this happened to you. It can't be easy to be a single mom. Usually moms have their families to depend on. Our daughter is having a baby. She lives at home and is single. I would NEVER turn my back on my daughter. She is precious to me and so is her unborn daughter. You will find the strength every day to get thru every day. Just take it one day at at time. Blessings to you and your beautiful baby!!

Lore - posted on 04/24/2010

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not to worry the Lord is with you av been there too my man had a clod feet when our little gal was just 46days old you wud definately pull through thank God you live in a country where the system works i live in Africa my family was there with moral support so you have to be very strong i believe he wud come back and when he does just be patient and try to understand him the way you had understood your son and he would be needing the onconditonal love that you had given your son you are not doing it for him or anybody but for yourself because if not that might scare him again. When mine left I had to move in with my sister. Your son would give you the will and strenght you need as he grows all i can offer you is prayers because i have been there before

Paula - posted on 04/24/2010

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Jean im sorry about your dilemma.perhaps friends could help.and im sorry to hear your family cant help either.also check with your local town hall.sometimes they can tell you places that will offer help.good luck.you'll be in my prayers.

Tonya - posted on 04/24/2010

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Help is on the way!!!
This a time when you have to lean on Jesus. The same thing happen to me. If you can clam your emotions down, sit back and watch the hand of God. He will send the right men to be in your child life to help teach and train your child. The men might not be for you to date or be involed with, but Jesus will take care of all your concerns and needs, just be patient. This happen to me with my first son. He's now 21 in college in his senior year and will be a preacher. I must a new believer abd didn't know what I was doing. God was able to help me put hhim in christian from frist grade through college. All I had was a GED. and no real career. I worked jobs that allowed me to pick him up from school everyday. I wore clothes from other people, but my son had everything he wanted. My son is amazing! God did this through and for me. Remember, God's voice is quite and peaceful. So calm down, cool your emotions so you can hear him. Just know God is always there, always knows and will and can do anything!
I would love to keep in touch with you to see the amazing things that are going to happen for you! Chin up! That's where our Lord is and keep your eyes on him!!!

Paige - posted on 04/24/2010

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Turn to your family. They are the only ones that will stay true to you. I have been a since mom since my son was born and he will be 6 in June up until 2 years ago. In that time I had another daughter and was still a single mom trying to go back to school, work a full time job and take care of them. It will be alright. Just pray for the Lord's guidance. He will get you through anything.



My husband and I lost our middle daughter last year in a drowning accident all the while I was 32 weeks pregnant with our now 8 month old daughter. If he brings you to it, he will bring you through it. I am a firm believer in that.

Roseann - posted on 04/24/2010

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he,s not worth it let him go and get on with your life.go to centre link for help.claim child support from him.and fall in love again to some one better and who will be a better father to your kids.

[deleted account]

Jean, this must be so hard for you!!! I know that emotionally you feel like crumbling, but YOU ARE STRONG!! And you CAN do this and WILL do this for your son!! Tell yourself that everyday!! At times like these you need to get out and be with people who you can connect with. Check with your health department for LOCAL RESOURCES, HOUSING, WIC, MOPS, and other support groups. If you breastfeed your son there may be a local La Leche group for nursing mothers. Having a support structure is important, and if family isn't doing it, make your own!! These will become the friends who help you throught the tough times. At times it has helped me to keep a journal so I can put my thoughts down on paper. REMEMBER, YOU LOVE YOUR SON, and the a$$ that left doesn't deserve either of you!!

Geraldine - posted on 04/24/2010

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I'm so sorry Jean. Something like this is hard to get through. I have been a single mom now since 11/08 and I broke. You are a strong woman, you may not feel it because of the situation, but you are. You already made the first step...you reached out for help...keep reaching...you need it. Most importantly...don't break down in front of your child...they know everything. My son was 2 when my ex finally left us & I'm still hitting rough spots. We will always hit rough spots the only thing is you are on your own. Get in touch with me & we can chat...every woman's situation is different. No divorce is ever alike...I learned that too. I wish you well Jean...I support you. You have a beautiful baby there. That is who will test you & yet give you the strength you will need. Hang in there...

Natacia - posted on 04/24/2010

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Oh my heaven's I can not believe how many women out there have been left by useless beings - we can't call them men because a Man would not just leave and abandon his family. I agree with everything everyone has said. Your best advise is to ask people around you for help. It's the hardest job in the world being a Mom but it's by far the most rewarding. You are your gorgeous little child's sole caretaker now so you have to be strong so that you can teach your precious little one that when times get tough, it's our inner strength and love for one another that gets us through. Even when it really gets hard, try not to let them see your struggling. It's important to always ensure our children feel SAFE, SECURE and HAPPY.



My heart is aching for you both but you're a woman and woman are strong and tough and we can handle anything and most important of all is that you don't need some pathetic person dragging you or your child down, you can survive without him.



My thoughts are with you.

Nadia - posted on 04/24/2010

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I became a single mum when my second child was only 9 weeks old. The best advice that I can give you is to take one day at a time and treasure each moment with your beatiful son. It may seem hard at first, but you will be suprised how well you will be able to cope. Try to still have some time to yourself, and if you feel that you are setting stressed, just giuve yourself a time out in your room untill you have carmed down. And good luck. If you ever wanna talk, you can always email me





My kids are now 10 and 12 and are both doing really well, so dont give up hope or feel that you are doing anything wrong on your own,

Robin - posted on 04/24/2010

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Honey, you can do it. Even if you feel lost, it will be ok. I left my ass of a dad and my mom did help me a lot luckly but it was hard even then because we don't get along. You will pull every resource out of yourself that you don't know you have and it will be hard and you will want to give up most of the time but your baby needs you and you stay for him! Don't give up!!!! It's all about you and your son no matter what you are stronger than you know or feel right now. Believe it.

Kayleen - posted on 04/24/2010

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g,day mate well i am a single mum and to tell turth there is not much u can do apart from move on with your life and tell that asshole to kiss your preaty little ass goog bye ya can do better then that mate there is always lots of fish in the sea to pick from just like shoping for but for man i was single and was thinking i a ungly bugger untell i find internet dateing made me realess that lots of man went me and i not as bad as it realy is but as for doing it alone well u well find a inter stroth u never now u had keep up the good work mate

[deleted account]

I first want to say that I am sending loving and strong vibes your way....I can imagine how desperate you may be feeling. Life is a journey and your journey will be more difficult than you had previously imagined, but you will be a strong woman. I would look into what mother's groups meet in your area. Check with the local community center, or post a notice on craig's list or something to form a support group for single mothers. Look at how you are feeling, and know that there are others going through the same thing. There is strength in numbers. I understand not being able to really count on your family, but it is up to you to now adopt some family who will be a support to you.

You could find an organization through your religious affiliation if you're not already a part of one and get plugged in there. You will definitely need breaks and support, so it is important for you to take the steps to find that support. I am not a christian, but I still suggest Bringing Up Boys by Dr. James Dobson. He has a special chapter devoted to single mothers where he has some great encouragement and ideas.

Take heart, breath deep...take care of yourself. Only through keeping yourself taken care of will you have the strength to take care of your precious son.

I really send my love to you, but I am confidant that you will get through this difficult and emotional time and come through it a stronger and more confidant woman.

Blessings on you and your son. Oh, also, I strongly recommend that you release any anger and resentment you may have towards your son's father. Never say anything negative to your son about his father...that man is a part of your son whether you like it or not, and if you speak negatively about him, you will be sending the message to your son that the part of him that is his fathers is bad. It will be difficult to not pass on any frustration, but it is imperative...you will be causing him pain and suffering, even if he doesn't make it known to you. I think you should do your best to let go of it, and not damage yourself by holding on to resentment, but if you must...you should find a friend who you can vent to about it out of hearing range of your child. Much love to you, Jean.

Jennifer - posted on 04/23/2010

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hello when my daughter was 4 months old and i left her father b/c he never helped me so i figured i would do it on my own i relied on my mother a little for support i got me a place moved her in with me and she watched my daughter so i could work and help save a little money to plus it helped me b/c at some weeks i would work 60 plus hours....but honestly there is no right answer to this its just something u have to do a day at a time but it is easier than what u think it is...i was so scared at first but we got by just fine...it took me a couple of years but i have found the most wounderful guy that loves my daughter to death...her father is now in her life but that is only b/c his girlfriend takes care of her whens shes there but if u ever have any questions do hesate to ask ill try to help u as much as i can sometimes its always nice just to have somebody to talk to

Natalie - posted on 04/23/2010

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It is hard. My husband was working away, so I know what it is like to 'do it alone'. At one point I had 2 babies at that time (newborn and 14 mths). Don't hold back in asking for help. Where you would have had the support of your partner, use your friends (they are often better at helping anyway). Nights are the times you usually have to do it alone - get into a good routine. Sleep when they sleep and enjoy every moment of them. Don't dwell on the Dad as the Babies feel it. You're a Mummy now, and most likley a very very good one. Believe in yourself and your abilities and do the best you know how.

Good luck :o)

Dawn - posted on 04/23/2010

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i no u dont no me but its hard at first but it gets easyer i raised my 7 year old by myself and we got though the hard times.

Kim - posted on 04/23/2010

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Sarah, absolutely! It will be tough, you will want to give up, but please don't. I didn't mention that I am now Mom to 2 16 yr old twin boys and a 13 yr old boy now that I am with teir Dad, because their Mom gave up on them. So now its me being the best I can for my daughter and then being the mom they never had. it is crazy, but like the others said, you can do it, you WILL do it, but don't give up! I have seen how that affects kids and its terrible!

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2010

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You are LOVED and so is your baby. I have been a single mom for 2 months now, and i was raised by a wonderful, strong, single mom. We sacrifice, we get tired, we get frustrated.... then we look @ our child, and happily(not always) do it all over again the next day. Take it one day @ a time. You are never alone.

Kim - posted on 04/23/2010

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I'm lucky as I am a single mom, but my ex is involved. However, my only really close family is on the West Coast and I am on the East Coast. You know who has really jumped infor me (other than my boyfriend who has been amazing)) are my girlfriends. I only have a few great super close ones, but they help me whenever they can, and I do the same. Lean on friends, that's what they are there for, and if you can't, they are not the kind of friends you can. Other than that, single mom support groups and faith honey, and know, this too shall pass! and go after that mother -f-er for child support!

Iyabode - posted on 04/23/2010

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Sorry Jean. Please stay focused, strong and together for you and your boy. It's painful but you can and will make it. You may want to find a local church and soak yourself in service for the Lord. Look for passages in the bible that will uplift and encourage you, but most importantly, don't become an object for pity party; that is not your portion IJN. God's luck to the two of you. Please feel free to visit this page for other women of courage. http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1...!/group.php?gid=21485803369&ref=ts

Catherine - posted on 04/23/2010

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You can do it. You absolutely can. There are some really wonderful things about being a single mom, and I, for one, am really enjoying it. First, just believe in yourself. You are stronger than you realize. The most important thing is that you love your son, and he will know that. Take it a day at a time, and if things seem too overwhelming and daunting, break it down into smaller pieces. Don't think about what has to be done in the next month - focus on what has to be done in the next 10 minutes. And nap when your son naps. It's not that big a deal if the dishes aren't done or if the laundry piles up. It's more important that you take care of your son and yourself.



I know you said that you don't have family in the area, but how about friends? I found that I had so many people who wanted to help me when I had my son. Whether it's having someone come and bring you dinner, or do your laundry, or just hold the baby while you take a much-needed bath and nap, the help can be a sanity-saver.



Good luck. It does get easier, as you and your son get used to everything, and establish your routines.

Artima - posted on 04/23/2010

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Being a single mother is not all that bad. Yea of course you think about your child not having a father but you can do it. I have been a single mother for 5 years. My son's father has seen it about 5 times but I don't let that effect my son's life. Being a single makes you stronger and dont think you can't accomplish things because you can. Things might be harder but with time you can achieve it. Im a witness to it. Be strong and always know that things happen for a reason.

Cathy - posted on 04/23/2010

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You can be strong and not take him back... are you legally married? then you get a good lawyer and file for divorce... if he will never come through with financial support... do you have extended family? even if they are friends not blood? then utilize them... do you have a career? if not, start educating yourself right now... i raised me adult daughters since they were 3 and 7 and went from no college to graduate level and supported them but did have help from my parents in the early years... don't be afraid to ask for help from anyone who cares, now isn't the time for pride except for keeping the loser out of your life (except if you can get him to legally help with support)... it is also good for you not to talk bad about him to your kids but keep up a front so that they can still love him as thst is very important for their emotional development... i guess you can tell that i have been through this... please... be strong...

Joy - posted on 04/23/2010

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I won't tell you it'll be easy, but you CAN do it. I have been divorced for 10 years............a household with three teenagers is very trying, trust me, but I can't imagine them anywhere else. Stay strong.........all you can do is give your baby YOUR best. May God Bless you both!

Amber - posted on 04/23/2010

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you have to be strong not only for yourself but for your child as well.Children can definitely sense any negative energy & that wouldnt be good on your part since your doing it all alone now.It may take time or counseling on doing it all alone but for the most part raising your son won't be so bad overall & your definitely going to play on both rolls of mommy & daddy so you wont let him turn out like his father and make it a cycle of abandonment of his children in the future.Take it one day and one step at a time & give it some prayer.one day things will work out brighter and in your favor!!!!!!

Luz - posted on 04/23/2010

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My daughter's father ran out on us when I was 61/2 months pregnant. I raised her by myself until she was 6 years old. those were HONESTLY the best years of our lives. You will define yourself, discover your strengths, and learn that you are so much more than you EVER imagined you were capable of. Where are you? do you have family nearby? There is usually a sisterhood among single moms, in any area. I have a 31/2 yr. old son now, and I am married, but my heart is always with the single moms. Please post more info

Charlotte - posted on 04/23/2010

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the most important thing to do is be strong for the baby. i have 2 beautiful girls with different dads and neither one has anything to do with their kids. of course i get upset when i'm alone, but i never show it in front of them. i work my butt off to make sure they are taken care of and sometimes i still struggle. my girls are happy and right now don't miss their dad, but i know it will get harder as they get older to explain to them why they don't have a dad around.

[deleted account]

My first suggestion is to protect yourself and your son by going to the court house and filing for custody cause if there is no agreement the police cannot help you if there is nothing in the court system. Look into it wherever you live! The other thing is to take one day at a time! Good luck and i wish you the best!

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