how can i be a single mom

Amber - posted on 04/23/2010

you have to be strong not only for yourself but for your child as well.Children can definitely sense any negative energy & that wouldnt be good on your part since your doing it all alone now.It may take time or counseling on doing it all alone but for the most part raising your son won't be so bad overall & your definitely going to play on both rolls of mommy & daddy so you wont let him turn out like his father and make it a cycle of abandonment of his children in the future.Take it one day and one step at a time & give it some prayer.one day things will work out brighter and in your favor!!!!!!

Luz - posted on 04/23/2010

My daughter's father ran out on us when I was 61/2 months pregnant. I raised her by myself until she was 6 years old. those were HONESTLY the best years of our lives. You will define yourself, discover your strengths, and learn that you are so much more than you EVER imagined you were capable of. Where are you? do you have family nearby? There is usually a sisterhood among single moms, in any area. I have a 31/2 yr. old son now, and I am married, but my heart is always with the single moms. Please post more info

Charlotte - posted on 04/23/2010

the most important thing to do is be strong for the baby. i have 2 beautiful girls with different dads and neither one has anything to do with their kids. of course i get upset when i'm alone, but i never show it in front of them. i work my butt off to make sure they are taken care of and sometimes i still struggle. my girls are happy and right now don't miss their dad, but i know it will get harder as they get older to explain to them why they don't have a dad around.

Rebecca - posted on 04/23/2010

My first suggestion is to protect yourself and your son by going to the court house and filing for custody cause if there is no agreement the police cannot help you if there is nothing in the court system. Look into it wherever you live! The other thing is to take one day at a time! Good luck and i wish you the best!

Tamara - posted on 04/23/2010

the same thing happened to me 10 years ago,but i chose to leave.it was the best thing for my son and i at the time and i don't have any regrets.it hurt for a while but life will go on if you let it!the great thing is,is that it brought my son and i even closer and it makes you even stronger.just remember how you feel and react to things the baby will also,especially in the long run.so always think before you make your decisions,make sure they are appropriate ones and remember these kids of ours are also just figuring out life day by day and we have to set examples for them too.god bless and good luck!

Sophie - posted on 04/23/2010

dont worry chick ull be fine u dont need a man to be a good mum,just stay calm coz the babes pick up on bad mood and try not to overcompensate by spoilin him coz ull make it harder for yourself in he long run.x

Louise - posted on 04/23/2010

Hi Jean...welcome to the club...and believe me it's a BIG one. I am 50 yrs and have been left with kids twice. The first time we (baby and me) were left at the hospital. The second time another man left when his youngest of three was 4. I also was alone, no family, no friends in a strange town. Those strangers are now my family. My youngest is now headed to college on a pell grant. First, cry your eyes out, then when there are no more tears to cry, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over. Read thru all these posts, there is alot of good advice. Go to welfare, they will set you up with everything you need, and if you are like me, you need everything. Seriously, they will get child support for you, food, everything. Never ever doubt yourself...you are MOM...and if you didn't know it before you will now, MOM is invinceable. Believe in yourself, believe in your child, believe in god, believe in karma. Good luck and God bless.

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2010

I am also a single mom. My son is 7 years old. Its a long and sad story why I'm single. But I believe support from family and friends and pray to the big man upstairs and all should fall into place.

Monae - posted on 04/23/2010

I am sorry to hear that happened to you. The same thing happened to me a little over 14yrs ago, I was so sad for my son for a while, but things got better and it made me a stronger person for everything we endured together (my son and I). I was only 25yrs at the time, and I did have family to lean on, but I knew I had to figure this out on my own and I sure did. After awhile, I really never gave (his biological dad) a second thought. I finally realized that he didnt want to be a part of his son's life, and I had to be a strong mom for my son. Today, I am blessed to have a loving husband who loves my son as his own, and we have 3 other children as well. I was a single mom for quite a while, it's not easy, but trust me, you will do it just fine, all you need to do is look in your baby's little face everyday, and that will help you find your way.

Angela - posted on 04/23/2010

Jean, you've already gotten a lot of great support and advice on here, so I won't repeat it all. I just want to let you know from one single mom to another, you =are= stronger than you feel, and you =will= be okay. I know those words seem trite right now, but in your most exhausted, sad, and frustrated moments, try to take a really deep breath and repeat to yourself, "I am strong, and we are okay." You have an inner fire as a mom that can never be extinguished, and you have to feed that. More than anything, be gentle with yourself. I'm sending you tons of love and prayers.

PATTI - posted on 04/23/2010

Hello Jean,



I'm sorry to hear this has happen to you, unfortunately there are men out there that don't know responsibility, and my heart goes out to you and your children. Best thing for you to do right know is see if you have a family members, or people that you trust, to see if you can stay with, untill you get on your feet. Most important, because it's a hard time for you, try to stay strong, there is a saying "Things will get worse before they get better, and I believe if you stay strong for yourself and for your children, things will get better. I wish you all the luck in the world...

Patty - posted on 04/23/2010

You're not alone; Jesus is with you to protect & provide for you. Even when it feels like you are alone, & believe me, it will feel that way more times than not, he is with you. Put your trust in him. Now is the time you will have to learn to trust him; or I had to when I was in your shoes. Pray the Lord will send you the best husband he has for you & he will in the right time. Look at this as a new beginning, not altogether as the end. Jesus loves you & true Christians do too. Take good care of your little boy. You are blessed!!

Cindy - posted on 04/23/2010

You are stronger then you think! You can do it! Not cause you want to but cause you need to for your childs best interest time patients and lots of love. U will make it!

Mary - posted on 04/23/2010

I am so sorry to learn of your news.

I think one of the most important things for you to do is to try and maintain your kids' routines. That's where their sense of security is.

I don't know how old your son is but I think trying to explain to him why his dad left could be difficult endeavor. The best you can do is let him know that you're not going anywhere.

God Bless you in this difficult time.
Mary

Lakeyisha - posted on 04/23/2010

It is possible, I'm a single mom of 3, 2 teenagers and one 10 year old. I have been doing it by myself 4 years now. Its not easy but I have learned to do my best and in the end it will pay off.

Cheryl - posted on 04/23/2010

First of all, go see a lawyer and get him into court to pay you child support. As a former single mom and paralegal that worked in the family law arena that is the best place to start. My son's father would have done nothing for us if I didn't take him to court. That was 15 years ago. My son is 17 now and his father and I have put the past behind us and have raised a very smart young man. I still do not trust him fully but when it comes to our son we can usually agree now. It was very hard in the beginning. I fought him in court for 2 years. Shop around for lawyers. You can find one that will genuinely help you. Don't let him come in and out of your lives either. He has to make a choice and a final one at that. If he ran out on you once he will do it again. If he refuses to marry you then that is your answer. If you are married to him, then you definitely have an answer.

Janice - posted on 04/23/2010

I'd like to reply to the statement made by Karen Yocum. She mentioned the importance of not trying to influence your son if the father tries to reconnect. I have to agree. My girls had not seen nor heard from their father for 16 years when he showed up out of the blue. The trauma I had endured in helping them cope with their abandonment issues was still all to real for me. My first instinct was to turn him away and never tell my girls he had been there. Thank God I did not do so. They met with him in our home as I was not comfortable with him taking theme any where. They visited for several hours and he left promising to be in touch in a few days. The next time they heard from him was 3 years later. We talked about it alot. They were so glad that they could put a face to him. They had the opportunity to ask him every question they had. They really think that their tough questions are a major part of why he vanished again. Now they have no questions, no guilt and no pain. They are still sadened by his loss (not theirs) but have grown into wonderful, strong women and mothers. Have faith, and please keep all doors open.

Janice - posted on 04/23/2010

Jean:

You will be amazed at how strong you really are! My daughters are 28 and 26. Their father (that is not what we really call him) abandoned us two days before my youngest was born. We have only heard from him three times in the last 25 years. His family all lived in the same town as we did. His brother was much younger and devastated. He stayed close through all these years. I also have a very close family that really helped. My best friend did not have the support system that I did. We combinened our strength and formed our own family unit. She helped me, I helped her. MOPS is a fantastic organization. I strongly urge you to find one. You will meet many women who can become an instant support system. Find a Church that you feel comfortable in. More than anything else, have faith in your self. You broght that beautiful baby boy into this world and you will nurture and love him just as he will love you. I know it feels dark and scary right now, but you will make it and be stronger because of this. Hang in there!

Joy - posted on 04/23/2010

Hi Jean,
First, you do know what to do, you are doing it! You are asking for support and help.
You are going to go through a roller coaster of feelings, from anger to anguish. It's important to allow yourself to feel those feelings and listen to the inner voice within you for guidance. Not your ego, your wounded heart, or your fear.
I'm a transformational life coach and I help women just like you. I would be happy to give you some complimentary sessions to get you through this. More on me at www.joyfulsolutions.org. Your son is a cutie. - Joy

Ann - posted on 04/23/2010

My son's dad ran out on us when my son was 3moths old my son is now almost four so I understand and I'm not going to lie it is hard but it's a greater reward. You need to make friends like church has places to go to meet other moms and if you and have family they can help also and if you need anything please let me know take care and remember one day at a time my prayers are with you ~Ann

Deborah - posted on 04/23/2010

Hello. My son's dad walked out when my baby was 2 wks old. I have a lot of experience with getting thru stuff like this. I do have a very supportive family who have helped a lot but they do live in a different city. I was able to create quite a nice little support group for myself outside of my family though. Don't be afraid to tell your story to people as you go about your day to day life. You will be surprised how many people out there are willing to help. The nurses at the hospital lactation clinic got me in touch with a Social Worker at the hospital who helped. I found out my chiropractor is a life coach who has gone thru divorce and custody issues so he helped immensely with giving me info on the court processes and in emotional support. In Ontario our Court system offers free legal advice which helped me fill out the court stuff. I took my baby's dad to court and got child support & full custody without paying a cent. In the states there is something called abandonment charges. You should check that out.



I am on mat leave but I would go for lunch with co workers quite often and they helped. I found women are great at helping each other. Don't be afraid to ask for help and don't get too down if someone lets you down along the way...just keep looking for the genuine people in your life. You will know when you meet them!



One of the hardest things for me was to continue breastfeeding cause the stress caused my milk supply to drop. My baby lost quite a bit of weight the first week or so after his dad left. I was able to overcome those issues and am still breastfeeding him today. If you are breastfeeding remember there are a lot of resources out there to help if you fear stress may cause your supply to drop. La Leche leagues (not sure if they are in the U.S., your doctor, internet, etc).



And like a lot of the other women have said, a man who gets up and leaves is thinking about himself and not about his son and is no man at all! Your son doesn't need a father like that. My son's father has never offered a penny of support or offered to provide any care for the child or even tried to visit him even though we planned the pregnancy. My son will grow up better without his father being around.

Karen - posted on 04/23/2010

I just wanted to respond to something that Amanda said. If you and the father are not married, in some states, he has no rights to the child until he establishes them in Court. So he could not come and take your son, at least in Florida. If he did, you could go to Court and get an emergency pick-up order. Mothers are natural guardians of children born out of wedlock because we definitely know who the mother is! So even if he is listed as Dad on the birth certificate, he has to legally establish his parental rights through court. Without a court order, you have custody by law. I would suggest you call a family law attorney in your state and see if it is the same there as here. Best of luck to you!

Amanda - posted on 04/23/2010

Oh the fun.

#1 - You need to stay away from guys. I am not implying that you are searching for a new Mr. Wonderful, but that you are vulnerable right now and guys who are sensitive to that may take advantage of the situation.

#2 - What age is your son? The younger the child, the harder. If the baby is under 6 months (isn't crawling yet) you may be able to take him with you to a job. If you work in childcare, you may be able to take your child with you. I did home health with my 1 year old. It kind of worked. You can also babysit other children in your home. The point with this is you will have to have an income.

#3 - Start proceedings against him immediately for custody and child support. No order in place means he has every legal right to show up and take his son at any time and keep him for as long as he wants, and the police will not do anything. It takes months for these things to be final so start ASAP.

#4 - Look at what type of support you have for the emotional trauma you are in. It will pass, eventually. Expect at least a year of chaos. Do not attempt any new Man relationships before you have worked through it. You need to work through it. If you verbally bash your son's father, you son will not be able to have healthy relationships as an adult. I am not asking you to sing your ex's praises, but avoid a verbal assault.

Pat - posted on 04/23/2010

Jean, take each day as it comes, sleep when baby sleeps adn join any groups, in you area that may be able to help you , good luck x

Micah - posted on 04/23/2010

My heart goes out to you. I was in the same position as you when I was pregnant and until my daughter was 3 years old. Having family to help is huge. But if you don't have family, rely on good friends (i know some of my closest friends are more like family). Also there are places that can help you. Look online or in the phone book under 'social service organizations'. I know where i live they had a program for women who were pregnant or had a little one and were single where they paired you up with a college student who mentored you. Its worth looking into either way. If you need someone to talk to my email is angeleyezxoxo@ymail.com you'll be in my thoughts and prayers

Karen - posted on 04/23/2010

I am a family law attorney. First and foremost - file for child support. In Florida, you can do it for free through the Department of Revenue, but there is a waiting list of about 6 months. You can get retroactive child support (up to 24 months). In Florida, and probably many other states, the cost of child care is included in the support, and health insurance. Having reliable child care will be important for you to have help with the baby.

Next piece of advice is hard to swallow - BUT for the sake of your son, if his father ever returns and wants to re-establish a relationship with him, please allow it. Children forgive, and abandonment is harder for them to deal with than a parent who was absent but returns. Please do not let your anger at his father put a wedge between whatever relationship that can be established between them. And never put down his father - it will only make him feel worse. He will learn in due time what kind of person his father is, without you having to say anything.

If I can give you mroe advice, please let me know.

Esther - posted on 04/23/2010

Hi, my husband disappeared when I was 9 weeks pregnant and miscarrying one of my twins. Its tough at the moment for you at but it gets better, and it helps to have supportive family and friends. You can be a fantastic mum and when your son smiles at you it makes everything wonderful instantly.

Tummyruth - posted on 04/23/2010

Just love yourself and your son. show him you can do without him.

Angela - posted on 04/23/2010

My last child I had that happen only earlier. We had only been together a short amount of time when I became pregnant. I then had to have a cerclage put in at 12 weeks plus I already had 2 other children at home. When I was about 16 weeks he broke up with me over the phone. The only time he was aound was when my son became very ill at 8 months so he could get off work. He wouldn't know my son if I shoved him in front of his face and told him. I raised him for the first 18 months on my own with the help of my family and no father figure and I then meet who is now my husband. My husband and son are father son whether by blood or not. In the beginning I raised all my children without their fathers due to the fathers not being ready. But trust me asking your family and friends for help is not a bad thing. If they really care and love you they will be there to help you.

Dorothy - posted on 04/23/2010

Firsst of all, your kids need to be reassured that you are going nowhere. No matter how helpless or lost you feel they need to see you are committed to them. If you have family members close by, now is when you need them the most, as your support group and as further reinforcement for your children that they are loved. Church is a great place to start to find resources, emotional and otherwise to help you through this period. Be kind to yourself and your kids and keep things as normal as possible and with lots of love and prayer, you will get thru this difficult time and will surprise yourself at the strength and resilience you and your children have. Good luck and God bless!

Kayla - posted on 04/23/2010

Hey hun, I'm a single mom and mom son is happy as can be! You have to be strong for your son! You are better off without a father like that in your son's life. There are many programs that can help you: WIC, social services perhaps, some places offer child care help. Definitely check those out. Mom support groups are always great too. Other women who know what you are going through and can offer encouragement and ideas. If you wanna chat, I'd love to :) Good luck, and you can get through this! Lots of mom's have to deal with this, and we are all here to offer support! XOXO

Jewlz - posted on 04/23/2010

I had to get away from my children"s dad 2 months ago. 1 month ago my kids and I got our first apartment without him. And then 3 days ago I finally got my first protective order against him. It's not been easy caring for 5 kids completely alone, but when I start feeling like I can't do it any more, I just have to look at one of them and then I feel strong again .. Keep your eyes on your child and you can do it. :)

Tracy - posted on 04/23/2010

Hi Jean,
I'm so Sorry for your situation, it must be very devasting and you must be hurting with all kinds of emotions. As all the other wonderful ladies have suggested, try and find a support group through the internet, church or community, it will help, I'm sorry your family isn't supportive, I am from a single mother home and her family wasn't supportive at all, just critical and poisonous. that leads me to just one piece of advice..Don't let this take away from your Love and kindness to your Baby, Always Remember it's not their fault and they need someone to be strong for them . My mom was always angry, yelling, blaming, it was a miserable excitence for all of us children, I couldn't wait to get out of there. please don't repeat anything like that, God will provide a way for you and Give you support through kind , sharing people, but you have to search for them, but I PROMISE you they will come to you in God's time when it's right, Be Patient, Loving and Keep your Eyes Open ! We are All With You !!! You are not Alone !! All My Best to you and Your Baby !!

Angela - posted on 04/23/2010

I was a single mom for 7 years before I met my husband. You need your family. I moved in with my parents and they helped me with my son and still do. If you can stay in your current home great and your mom can help you even better. But I couldn't afford to live on my own so I had to live with my parents. It makes parenting a little difficult since there are now three parents to one child and two of them raised you so they might have different opinions but for the most part we all got along and I'm forever grateful.

Patricia - posted on 04/23/2010

First thing, don't panic. There a lot's of single mom's. You will find the strength and the resources to make it. The first thing you need to do is file for child support. Then if you are working and not making much money, file for assistance. Find a reliable daycare for your child at a cost you can afford. Don't overbuget yourself. This is the time to be very frugal. You can make it. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Who knows... you might find a better man. Good luck and GOD bless.

Dontisha - posted on 04/23/2010

honey stay strong its never a easy step to be a single parent but reality there is alot. Just go whats best for you and your son and pray god will lead the way.

Jane - posted on 04/23/2010

Jean,
After reading all the replies you,ve had from this post, I know you know deep down it will be ok.
I just want to say WELL DONE to all the single parents, yes dad's too, who have struggled and come out the other side to be better people and better parents than they ever thought they could be, GOOD ON YOU ALL...And good on you Jean for taking the first step and asking for help.
All the best xxxx

Mahogany - posted on 04/23/2010

pray pray! It is hard to deal with but girl you will be just fine. I have two kids with my ex I have my hard days but we are good.

Chloe - posted on 04/23/2010

First of all, that must be so so rough. I feel for you but also know that a woman can handle anything that is put to them! I wouldnt be sad, he is the one who is going to be missing out on the most precious gift god can give.. You have your whole like with that beautiful little man! Learn to live with what you have to live with and realise that a baby can be so much hard work but god they are so worth it!

My favourite quote : If you want a rainbow, you have to put up with the rain!

all the best to you and your beautiful little man

Lisa - posted on 04/23/2010

Trust me you will be fine. I have been on my own since my daughter was 1 year old and i was scared cause i didnt know how i would cope but you manage. Also my daugher is 14 years old now and we have become more than just daughter and mum we have become best friends. You build a bond that noone can ever break. You show him girl that you can cope and you can cope without A MAN in your life. Family and friends are a big help so talk to them. Your son is beautiful and you are very lucky and its his loss that he has left you.

Crystal - posted on 04/23/2010

I am a single mum, my bf left wen i told him i was pregnant. He doesnt want anything to do with hes sone doesnt even want to meet him. It was hard and still is hard today. But everyday i have to tell my self i need to move on for my sons sake. All u need need is support from friends and family and everything will work out.

Carrol - posted on 04/23/2010

There are lots of single moms out there today. you can do it for you and your son

if you need to go to school for better job go there are many grants out there today

that will help you and being a single mother there is a new grant for that too.

check into it for the two of you. and you will meet mr. right out there some day

take your time and make sure he is worth your time.

if he dont work run lol have a nice day

Jane - posted on 04/23/2010

You get up every morning and you teach your son the important things in this life. Try to join groups that will give you opportunities to meet people and rise to this challenge the best way you can, its hard and very unfair but you can do it! He is the loser in this situation... you still have your son and all he has is guilt and shame, even if he doesnt think he has... he does!! You can do it with determination, and i bet you will do a stunning job too!!! i send my very best wishes to you and your wee son.

Joanne - posted on 04/23/2010

I am not going to to prerend to you that been a single mum s easy becuase its not in saying that been a mum is not easy too even with the dads round they seriously need to consider manuals when they come.. In serious you will find strength where you did not know you had.now that its only fresh that the dad has gon its hurts like hell and it all seems to much but for you both you concentrate on getting your routine in order an dont be afraid to ask for family support when you need it no one will think any less of you ... Do you say that you need to be true to you the dad may return and that may be a good or bad tink you and your baby are the strongest team in the world

Marie - posted on 04/23/2010

Believe in yourself. You are greater than you think. Listen to Helen Reddy's song, I am Woman Hear Me Roar. Allow yourself to grieve for your loss while focussing totally on your precious bubba. You owe it to him to be strong. Try not to hate his Dad, he obviously has his own weaknesses to deal with. You can do this. You are precious and so is your baby. Thousands of women raise their children alone every day. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Tahnia - posted on 04/23/2010

You will surprise yourself. I daughters Dad left when she was 4 months old. Yes there were really bad times but I came through them with the help of wonderful friends and other Mothers. As a single Mother I went to University for 4 years and got a degree and changed my career so that I would be able to raise my child. It may seem like being alone is the worst thing but being in a bad situation is worse. You will raise your child to see how strong and capable his Mother is. My advice is to make sure that you accept help when it is offered and ask for help when you need it. Good Luck

Kelly - posted on 04/23/2010

Hey be strong! I am a single Mum too, my ex fiance did something really bad when baby was only a few weeks old. We no longer speak to eachother and things has been difficult for a while. But you are strong, let your family and friends be there for you, also plunket and mothers groups. You will also become your baby's best friend (really close to them) as I have, kinda grwo with them. Being a single Mum is busy and challenging, but great and there is lots of support there for you xx

Bethan - posted on 04/23/2010

at this really hard time dont think about what you cant do but about what u can.I have 8 children (3 step) and 5 of my own. I left my mother when i was 12 to live with my gran,at 16 i was pregnant,in my own flat with no help at all. i got through it and now my pldest son is nearly 15. his father has been no help at all even tho he still sees him. I am now married to a wonderful man who is willig to look after all of us and i am now pregnant again! so please find somewhere to go,support groups,friends....etc when your son is older and he sees the love and dedication you have given him nothing will be better. try not to do it all on your own,take care.x

Gail - posted on 04/22/2010

i have two kids and im a single parent i do this everyday by myself and if i can you do it you can to i have some support from friends and family

Lisa - posted on 04/22/2010

Just like some of the other ladies have said…you survive. Do whatever it takes to make it without him. Go back to school get a better paying job…if that’s even possible now a day’s…go to the government agencies…look them up in the phone book or like some ladies have said you can ask your doctors or local schools they should know who you would need to get a hold of or where you need to go. There may even be help for childcare some place. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from churches…for rent...clothes…food, anything…that’s what they are there for especially when your family can’t or won’t help for whatever reason. Then pray, pray for yourself, your son even his dad, maybe not to come back unless that’s what you want but for him to wake up and realize that he has left a part of him behind in your son that he needs to and should take care of whether you too remain together or not, he would still have to help.
I was in the hospital three days after my daughter was born (this was 7 years ago) my son turned 3 years old on that day and my ex-husband decided he wanted to move back to FL, we were in OH. I didn’t want to go but I was willing to give it a shot but I couldn’t go until my daughter and I had our check up from the birth. He said he would be back to get us when we were ready and he left…didn’t even wait till I was out of the hospital I’m not even sure if he ever said happy birthday to my son before he left. I never saw him again. I struggled and struggled to stay strong, and I did, but it was extremely hard. I broke down often, cried a lot, was angry and very hurt and all I wanted was to know why he left. Why he didn’t have the courage to even tell me that he wasn’t coming back. But I never got my answer, and I don’t know that I ever will. It’s ok though, because I know that through my relationship with GOD I can do all things. I got back on my feet, had to go from job to job until I found one with insurance, but I never went without a job…we did need to eat. I humbled myself and asked the church I attended for help with rent and had to do this maybe three times. Going to church helped me deal with my anger and I learned that you have to forgive, but forgiveness is not acceptance. You can forgive someone but you don’t have to accept what they have done. I still pray for my ex even though it has been 7 years and I have no idea where he is, to be honest there is a lot more to this story (mostly drama on his part) but this is not about me so I left it out. Just remember even though family sometimes may not be able or willing to help, others are. You just have to want and accept it and don’t be afraid to ask for it.
If you ever need someone to rant and rave to about what ever stress that is in your life feel free to look me up or email me. I will be putting you and you son on my pray list and will be praying for you from now on, even when your son is grown and things are better…let’s face it we all could use pray at all times in our lives not just the bad times.
Stay strong. You can do this!