how can i get my son to listen to what i ask him to do w/o whinning and asking to do it later ??

APRIL - posted on 02/09/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My son is normally a good kid, but when I ask him to clean his room or a chore, he tries to get out of it.. I have put him on a chair, took away his fav toys and nothing works

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Celeste - posted on 02/09/2011

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Try making it in to something fun rather than it being a chore make it into a game and reward him when hes finished.

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Emily - posted on 02/09/2011

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Most kids are going to try to get out of chores. That's normal. By putting him on a chair, you're giving him what he wants because then he doesn't have to do that chore.

Look at the way you're talking to him about the chore. If he perceives that you're nagging or yelling about it, he's going to push back harder. Give him a simple choice such as "You can choose to do this chore now or 10 minutes from now." That way he feels like he has some choice in the matter, but the chore still gets done in a reasonable time frame. Whatever choice he makes, don't let him move on with his day until the chore is done. Talk with him about why the chore is important for keeping the home running smoothly and that you appreciate his help.

Jodi - posted on 02/09/2011

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Yeah, I also ask how old is he. My son is 13 and if he doesn't do his chores, or if I have to neg or receive any arguments about it, he just doesn't get any pocket money that week :D. To him, that means no savings to put towards going to a movie with a friend, etc. I never have any arguments about it.

But really, it does depend on his age as to how I would handle the situation.

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you need to look at whether you are trying to control him to which he will resist, it needs to be power with not power over adn to do this you could say something like. Hey honey it's time to clean your room so we can get ready for....ie dinner, we could do it together or you could show me how clever you are at doing it yourself". Perhaps using the word "lets" as in "lets clean your room" and start with him and then let him know you need to check on something and you;ll be back to help him finish up??? if neither works you can then express your needs and how it makes you feel by saying something like "using his nickname, when I've asked you to tidy up and I come back and see nothings been done, I feel a bit, (emotion) frustrated or disappointed as I really need your support in helping to keep the house tidy and or your room, would you please be willing to help me with tidying up so we can do......." it sounds a bit long winded but it works wonders when you can make it sound natural. my son is 3 and I use this on him most times and it works. When I'm tired and I forget he resists and then I have to walk away and think about what I'm doing that I could change. Hope this helps. V

JuLeah - posted on 02/09/2011

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You don't say how old he is, but the behavior is normal. He is a good kid. He doesn't like cleaning his room. Good for you for sticking with it. Chores and a good thing for kids.
Set up all fun to happen after the chores are complete.
For example, play with friends, watching a movie .... whatever fun thing he has set up for the day will happen after the chores are done. If he doesn't do the chores, the fun thing doesn't happen. It is a good lesson for a kid to learn and if you are in America, critical. Work first play later is something we struggle with a bit.

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