How Can I Help My Sister-In-Law Deal With The Death Of Her Youngest Son?

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Well It's Been A Month And 2 Days Since She Woke Up And Found Her 7 Month Old Son Not Breathing..He Was A Beautiful Redhead Baby Boy Who They Said Passed Away From S.I.D.S.. She Is Trying So Hard To Get Over It But It's So Hard For Her To When I'm Fixing To Have My Son With In The Next Couple Of Weeks..I Just Don't Know How To Help Her Slowly Get Over The Loss..This Was The Second Baby That She Lost.. Her First One Only Lived For 2 Hours And She Was Heartbroken.. But Since She Lost Eithan She Has Gone Into a Deeper Depression And Doesn't Want To Talk To Anyone BUt Me And Her Sister Who Is Also Pregnant With A Boy..And It's Extremly Hard For Her To Come Over And Go In Ours Rooms To Talk To Us When We Have Our Babies Crib Step Up And Put Together.. How Can We Help Her To Try And Greave And Help Her SLowly Get Over His Death

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Andrea - posted on 07/12/2010

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She will never "get over" the loss of her sons. She will learn to live with a huge hole in her heart. Just be supportive to her, let her talk about her boys as much as she needs to. Always remember her sons and let her know you think of them too. That will mean a lot to her. Suggest she joins a perinatal loss support group. I lost my youngest son at 2 days old and I know I never will be the same. Don't expect her to be the same person she was before her losses.

Krista - posted on 07/12/2010

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Try your best to encourage her to go to counselling -- this is a major loss for her, and when your baby arrives, it'll probably be really hard on her. There might also be some good books out there about dealing with the death of a child that could help her. Other than that, just do your best to be there for her. You don't say whether she has a boyfriend or spouse, but if so, you'll want to talk to him and try to get him to shoulder some of her grief as well, as you will soon be too occupied with your new baby.

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