How can I help my son understand that when he ahs clothes on he can't pee in them? He is having trouble understand ing that when he has clothes on he can't pee in them, he thinks that when he has clothes on he has a pull up on. I need help with potty training and suggestions???

Tania - posted on 04/24/2009

hey, yes I think we are on a similar page, although it is adaptable to anyones needs and lifestyles.
...I know you get it Tina - but for the benefit of others...
We began from the 3 month mark when I learned about the process. Lots of nappy free etc, but introduced training knickers at around 5 months.
I wouldn't really call it training when you follow an instinctive pattern like this, it is just a part of life, and in the end there is no need to conventionally 'train' the child.
Do you 'train' your child to drink? nope, it's a progression from assisted feeding from breast or bottle through all the steps a glass when they are ready.
If you keep that mentality it is easy, rewarding, and worthwhile!

Tina - posted on 04/24/2009

I don't know if your saying that you start trainning them at 5 months but I did the same to my 2 oldest. At the age of 2 months I would put them on the potty for their poop, cause it was easy to see when they went and you know what it does work. They wouldn't go poopy in their diapers at all and by the age of 1 they were fully trained. I didn't do that with my last 2 and I had a way harder time to train them, they were both at least 18-20 months before they were trained and it was much more dificult.
Tina

Tania - posted on 04/24/2009

...And I discover this is supported by a nappy company... of course!!

Tania - posted on 04/24/2009

I have come to the conclusion that adults 'teach' the children to pee themselves. Yep, by consistently relying on nappies as the baby grows teaches them to pee in any situation with anyone around, and that no one will know and it is okay.
I think it is important to show your baby from the beginning (as soon as you are ready - we started about 3 months after CS) It's ok to pee in your nappy/training knickers when when you can't do it yourself, but I (the parent) will help you (the baby) too pee in an appropriate place (potty etc) until you can do it on your own.
It is close to the top of important skills, yet many refrain till after the child is comfortable toileting in public (in the nappy)!!!!
Some people assume it is hard work - it is not. I would much rather help my baby 5 or 15months old to the potty after some grunting and rinse the potty and wipe the little spot of poo from bum than smell it, then wipe butt, back, cheeks, flaps or balls of baby fighting to play with it all, dispose of or wash nappy and continue for 2 years!
That's my 2 cents and i have found this method absolutely wonderful! my dd hasnt worn a nappy since 18months (started training knickers at 5months depending on situations and if i thought i could get her to a potty if she signed to me) and rarely has accidents due to sickness etc. she could have been out sooner, but my confidence had to build!
steps to take in the late stages (older than 2 or 2.5) might be to reinforce where it is appropriate and why - (they get it - you just have to tell them), and that you will help them - by reminding them, going with them, clean up accidents together (actions have consequences don't tell them off, just helping you will be enough) keeping the banter light and loving that you are sorry you couldn't help them, and you need them to help you by telling you, and remind 'pee goes in the potty, let's do that next time!'
If you are in for the idea, try stickers, they can stick it where they like after using the potty, or after a day of dry knickers!
Good Luck!

Julie-Anne - posted on 04/23/2009

I think the main thing is patience. My son who I'm still in the final process of potty training had this problem in reverse. He always told me he needed to go potty while we where out but never at home. But over the space of a month and plenty of accidents he is now happy to pull down his pants and go by himself (he still doesn't tell me). We found that a potty in the car (you can get little fold-up ones from the baby factor) when your out and about helped a lot as there was always somewhere he could go quickly and he knew where it was. But Potty training is a developed skill and they each take as much time as they need to achieve it, Many books that I've now read on the subject say it can take an average of 8 months to train and that once you've taken them out of pull-up's or nappies during the day not to go back as it can confuse them and delay the process. the other thing that I have been told and used myself is that if your worried he may go potty while in his car seat or stroller is that you can get a thin cushion and put a cover of his favourite character on it with a plastic bag underneath (over the fuller), the idea is that he will be so taken with it that he will want to keep it clean and tell you if he needs to go and if he dose has an accident it's easy to clean up. We'll that's the theory behind it anyway but it worked for me I haven't had any accidents while out. I hope some of this may help :)

Amber - posted on 04/22/2009

My little guy is almost 3. He has been potty trained for awhile, however; daycare did not like the idea that he wasn't wearing any underwear underneath his pants, so I have introduced underwear into the mix and he has had quite a few accidents. I keep repeating in a silly way that ... you pull your undies down and pee and then pull them back up..all the while i am pretending to pull mine down. I agree with the previous post to eliminate pull ups all together. Nick wets the bed frequently so i let him know that those are for nite nite only. also, ALL wipes/diapers/pull-ups/undies are now located in the bathroom only...even when there is an accident, i get him to the bathroom to change. Hope i didn't ramble...hope this helps

Tina - posted on 04/22/2009

He may get anxious as well when you go out so try to bring him to the bathroom before you go and explain to him where you are going and what to expect type thing that will help him. I know for my kids they need to know where the bathrooms were where ever we went so that they didn't have accidents. Also make sure to put clothes that are easy for him to pull down by himself while you do train him. Also when you are out and he does go to the bathroom and not in his pants celebrate it good that way he will try to please you more and go the right way.
tina

Trina - posted on 04/22/2009

if you feel he's ready, then go with it, however I would eliminate pullups completely. In my opinion they're just glorified diapers that do more harm than good. He's going to have accidents - that's inevitable. Is it possible to stay home for a while until he gets a better hang of it? You didn't say where you go, but I know that sometimes kids will get distracted and forget that they have to go, especially if they're having fun.

I've also found that it really helps to bring their potty chair or seat with you when you go out, not forever, but just for the first few weeks or so. That way, they don't have to worry about trying to figure out how to use the big potty while their out, which can often be scary for them (especially if they've slipped and fallen in!).

But on the other hand, he may just need a break from training. Try switching him back to diapers for a week then try again and see what happens. Just remember to praise him when he goes on the potty and not to punish him when he has accidents.

Faye - posted on 04/22/2009

But he asks to wear underwears now that's the thing. He has always been the type of child that didn't mind being wet. He tells me all the time that he has to go to the bathroom when we are home but when we go out it is a different story.

Edna - posted on 04/22/2009

He's not ready. Just because you are ready for him to go that doesnt mean he is keep the pullups don't get me wrong he wont be in school and still in pullups but you will see once he sees he is wet and cant stand the feeling anymore .... HE will ask to wear underwears trust... You will see...:0)

Faye - posted on 04/22/2009

He can tell you when he has to go to the bathroom and he wears underwear around the house but when we go outside the house he doesn't say anything and just pees on himself!!! I don't want to keep letting him wear pulls ups during the day and I really want him to be fully potty trained and understand that going to the bathroom should be all the time not just some times. What should I do and what can I do to help??