How can you tell if a casual friendship is turning into more than friendship?

Arnette - posted on 10/11/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have an associate on FB that I acquired as a request from someone else that does not have a FB account. Due to a very rough time that this person has gone through I would check up on him from time to time for the other person that asked me to check up on him.

Well in the past couple of weeks this person and I have started communicating more than once a week. It started as a fluke where we were both on line and started talking. We ended up talking online for hours about music. We sent each other links to different video until we started to fall asleep. Well, from then on we chat several times a week. Well, the conversations have gone from music to, movies and every now and again he will flirt. He has started calling me honey and boo. I am not sure because I have been out of the dating scene for several years but I am thinking this man is starting to develop feelings for me.

Is this the case? I am very attracted to him as well. If this is the case where do we go from here?

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JuLeah - posted on 10/11/2011

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Okay, well this person has gone, is going through, a very rough time.

Escape into love is an amazing way to deal, or not, with the problem at hand.

Maybe he has feelings for you ... but remember, you know what he has chosen to show you, what he has wanted you to see .... and he might be looking at you as one who will 'save him' You don't want that

So, now is the time for time .... you don't really know a person until you have been on a long road trip, watched them untangle christmas lights, seen their reaction to a lost luggage, met their best friends, observed them when you have the flu .... I am sure you know all of this, but it is so very easy to get caught up in the new feelings

What ever rough time he was/is going through ... is that resolved? I'd not take this further until it is.

Are you in the same state? I think a good way to get to know a person is to share an activity, volunteer your time somewhere, take a class together .... hang out, but in a structured setting

Keep talking ... don't assign traits to him, let him SHOW you who he is


Again, I am sure you know this ... but I know that 'feeling' and how easy it is to forget what you know ... a friend once told me of a man she had met "He is so honest"

I said, "How do you know?"

"He told me"

Yahhh ... and have fun, enjoy, laugh ...

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Carolee - posted on 10/12/2011

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I've had multiple guy friends who would give me pet names and were NOT interested in me. I think there needs to be something more. I suggest playing oblivious until he gets more direct and bold, so you know for sure. I hope he does like you, I just don't think that you guys talk a lot and he has pet names for you means a whole lot.

Arnette - posted on 10/12/2011

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There is more to the story. My sister was the associate. She was the one showing concern. Although I always thought he was such a cutie, my intention was never that way. We had been communicating for about 6 months or so on and off. Just hello, how are you? Nothing big. I haven't started thinking of anything until recently. Even after our all night music competition which I won by the way. It has just been a couple of things he has said as well as the pet names. I even found out he mentioned me to my sister. Nothing big he was just thanking her for her concern and he mentioned we communicated occasionally on facebook and I was really nice.

I got out of a bad relationship about a yr ago and my mind is not trying to get into anything serious right now. I am trying to find me. His flirts are geared more towards finding out if I am dating or if I am having any relations at all. I am not one to beat around the bush. I believe in being straight forward but some men do not know how to take that. Which is why I return our conversation to what ever it was before he turned it. I am tempted to just come out and answer the questions that he beats around the bush for but I am kind of nervous to change the relationship. I enjoy what we are currently doing. Not saying that I am not interested, I am just not really ready. Although he is hot to trot, and I would not mind taking advantage, but I am not ready. So, I will continue to do this and see where it goes.
Thank you ladies for all of your support.

Stifler's - posted on 10/12/2011

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Are you in a relationship (with another man)? I have a good internet friend I talk to all the time who is male. We don't call each other honey and boo and stuff though or flirt. He totally likes you.

Cynthia - posted on 10/11/2011

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he sounds interested to me. proceed with caution. just have fun and take it slow. really slow.

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